Lustbound
by bugaboo107
Summary: Tohru drinks a love potion with unforeseen consequences.
1. Chapter 1: Just a Kiss

/ Hey everyone! New story. 'T' Rating will go up soon.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.

**Chapter 1: Just a Kiss**

/

I can't help it. My steady hands are acting of their own accord as I grab his metal belt buckle. My mind is telling me I don't want this. It's chanting a mantra. _Stop it. Stop it. You're going to regret this. Let it be a bad dream._ But I can't stop. I can't even pinch myself. My hands are certain.

His eyes are opaque. I can't tell what he's thinking, but he's not stopping me. He just stands there, looking down at me, like I'm some new specimen of arachnids. _Do I have 8 legs_? I wonder haphazardly. With all this insanity happening about me, I don't doubt it. I look around myself and see I'm still me. Five fingers, normal brown hair, small chest.

With ease, I unzip his pressed slacks and pull him lose. I don't know why I chose him. With utter disgust and horror, I'm melting on my legs, wantonly. I'm on the ground, looking up at him expectantly, like a little lost puppy.

His expression is still blank. Uncaring and eager, I tuck my fingers under the waistband of his boxer-briefs and prepare to slide them down his toned legs.

I feel a hand grab my wrist roughly and haul me to my feet. I stumble when regaining my footing. He doesn't want this?

Despite my shameless performance, the impressionable girl inside of me is still a little hurt to be rejected so swiftly. My mind isn't functioning properly. I'm going to cry.

His jade eyes pierce mine, and I look away, as if they are lasers. He shakes me a little and snarls, "What the hell is going on, Tohru?" _I don't know myself. It was like a force pushed me to your doorsteps… and now I want you to take me_.

_It's my first time. I always said I was saving myself for 'the one.' But there's nothing I can do. I'm going to lose my virginity tonight. And it's no one's fault but my own. I'm a romantic, but there's nothing romantic about this. I didn't want to be single forever, but I also didn't want to turn into a pr-prostitute_.

"I don't know." My restless hands are clawing at his trench coat. I don't even consider that he was planning on going somewhere before I rudely interrupted…

Instead, I laugh to myself like a fool. It's funny seeing a man in a trench coat without pants. Haha.

He doesn't seem to think it's funny. He curses and pulls his pants up, but not fast enough.

I reach out again, and he slaps my hand away. "Stop."

I'm way past shame. I know he wants more; I can see the hooded desire in depths on his eyes. Just my luck, I came to _him_. He sees me only as Shigure's ward. And a good cook. I'll never be anything more.

I sit on the ground like a petulant child. I can feel an all-consuming wave of dizziness pass through me. I'm seeing yellow splotches dancing across my vision. If I don't get _this_ now, I'm going to die. Or at least faint. I need his touch, something, _anything_. I just need to vocalize it, but I can't say it without giving up my motive. He's going to be so mad.

Probably tell _him_ too.

And then _he'll_ never love me.

As I'm staring at the back wall, I feel strong arms pull me up and carry me into the bedroom. The inside of me is still pulsing. Everything inside me is throbbing. My head. My core.

He sits me down at the edge of his bed and takes my temperature.

"That's odd."

I'm freezing. I'm wearing 2 sweaters and 2 shirts and it's not even cold.

I can feel I'm about to pass out if he doesn't do something about it.

"K-kiss me."

He looks at me peculiarly, like he has this whole time.

/

He looks back at her. She's looks like she's asleep. Her breathing is even. What has gotten into her? Something must be wrong. With all those illegal apothecaries and natural remedy clinics sprouting up everywhere, who knew where Tohru could have gotten this!

He taps her shoulder to wake her. But she doesn't. He shakes her a bit. Nothing.

Her pulse is fine. But it's like she's in a coma. _Kiss me_. The two words ghost over him like a thin mist.

No way.

_She probably hasn't even had her first proper kiss. I can't just take that away from her. I'm cold like snow. I can't be looked at with sincerity and innocence, because I've done so much wrong. I'm beyond salvation. I'm in eternal hell. I deserve to be here. I've erased innocent people's memories. I was too weak to be with Kana_.

Against his better judgment, he leans down to press the faintest kiss on her almost bloodless lips. Her color has drained more, during the time that he's contemplated kissing her.

Without letting him self get too carried away in those cold, but so soft lips, he moves to his desk and watches her, praying that she'll wake up.

/

I can feel the cloudiness inside me subside greatly. It's like a light has broke through the chaos. Everything's clear again, I can feel warmth spread to my fingertips. I wiggle my fingers. I can smell his pleasant scent on the sheets I'm lying in. It smells like the ocean, fresh and salty. I breathe in deep and arch off the bed. I feel like I've awoken from the longest sleep or something. Then I remember.

I had begged him to kiss me.

He must have, because I awoke from that deep sleep…

I open my eyes. He's there, eyes closed, resting. My thoughts are jumping all over the place. First thing's first. My eyes squeeze shut as I try to will away this nightmare. But when I open one eye to look around, I'm still here.

The bedroom is shades of grey. And it's beautiful, if not too clinical. It looks like model from an interior design magazine.

I'll never live this down. I forced myself upon a male Sohma who has absolutely NO interest in me!

But at least the ache is gone for now.

His arms folded behind his head, eyes closed, dark lashes fanning across his cheeks. There's a somber look on his face. He's probably not happy with what he had to do.

I lift the sheet to make sure that I'm decent. Good. Things didn't get _that_ far. He must have heard the rustle of sheets because he looks up at me. Seeing that I'm awake, he gives a curt nod and leaves the room.

On my way out, I open and close my mouth a few times, like a pet fish, unsure of how to end this. I look toward his office. I can see him at his desk, hunched over, diligently. He's probably poring over some heavy text on how to cure the cancer or something. He's so brilliant. He's always been able to heal me when I'm sick. Today was no exception. I'm cured. I feel much better than before. I end up whispering the softest 'goodbye' and leave, shutting the door behind me softly.

It's over. I'm normal again.

Then why do I feel so empty?

/

A/N: 1.19.2013 - Let me know what you think! Love ya'll.

1.22.2013 - This first chapter may be confusing. But the next chapter (and future chapters) will explain what happened. And of course, if you have ANY questions, you can always ask me. :)


	2. Chapter 2: The Beginning

/ Hope reviewers received a personal message from me! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.

Chapter 2: The Beginning

/

It's not exactly how I wanted my first kiss to be. There was supposed to be a tingling feeling in my stomach that spreads all over me, making me warm. Instead, I'm not even sure what it felt like. Though I can guess that it was barest touch, like a flutter of butterfly wings over my lips. This is going to sound gross, but I'm sure no moisture was exchanged. Kami, I'm such an amateur. Could that be why Yuki doesn't like me? I am such an insecure mess. I _was_. Now, I'm a bold lust-driven woman. Or at least an hour ago, I'm back to normal. I think. My thoughts are getting all jumbled.

I fall back on my bed.

It all started like this. I had finished my volunteer shift at the Kokoro Assisted Living Estates and was taking the bus back to Shigure's house. There was an old newspaper on the seat beside me so I looked through it. It happened to be the paid-advertisement section. Something caught my eye.

_Love sick? Remedy it by visiting Love Doctor Ubume. 1999 Yuurei Alley. _

_She'll concoct the perfect potion/spell to cure you of your woes! Free consultation!_

It seemed pretty strange. Potions? Spells? Saliva of a warty toad? No thanks! I definitely did not believe in magic or any forms of witchcraft (except for the Juunishi curse, which I had witnessed with my own eyes). But I was desperate. My clock is ticking. _Yuki_… my last chance.

I took that sheet of newspaper home and put it on the fridge. The words kept taunting me. Despite being a small font, it was as if those words were highlighted and magnified just to torture me. Love. Potion.

After a sleepless 2 hours, in which I wondered about my demise in the romance department, I went to my desk and turned on my laptop. I did a Google search on the address just for fun. It was about eight blocks away from where I worked, just past the cemetery. It really was an alley, with one house. Maybe I could give it a shot?

I went back to my bed and thought about what exactly I wanted her to 'cure' me off. My low self-esteem? My unattractive presence in front of Yuki? Surely she'd shove me out and tell me to deal with my personal problems before consulting a woman of her supernatural abilities.

What _did_ I want? To suddenly turn into the most charming, stunning, eloquent swan? Match all of Yuki's requirements?

No. That was too unnatural.

Give me a boost of pheromones that would attract Yuki?

Ugh, no.

Let him see me romantically for just a day, just so I can try to woo him? Or at least tell him the truth about how I've felt for these past 4 years.

Yes. Just give me a chance. To try.

Okay, that seemed like a simple enough wish-_slash_-plea. Love Doctor Ubume. I need your help.

/

On Sunday, I took the bus to the address. It was a tiny row-house tucked between two residential high-rises. There was a sign hanging in the window that read 'Open for Business.'

I bundled my scarf closer around me as I felt a cool blast of arctic air, even though it was late May. Taking a deep breath, I stepped onto her porch and rang the doorbell before I regained logic.

The door opened a crack and a weathered face appeared back at me. Upon seeing me, she opened the door wider and ushered me in with the gentle prod of her cane. Her face was the color of aged bourbon. It's wrinkled like a well-used map, her hair looked like a nest of long grey wires pointing in every which direction. She had a storybook witch nose. It was long and pointed like a raven's beak. What shocked me was that her eyes shone like clear Caribbean blue seas. They were light and glinted with playfulness. She looked so otherworldly. Will she speak Japanese?

"How may I help you?" She said fluently.

"I saw your ad in the newspaper."

"Ah, do come in to sit. Would you like a sweet candy?"

"No thank you."

I followed her into a sparsely furnished room with peeling floral wallpaper. I see an orange and white striped kitten in the corner, watching me. It reminds me a little of Kyo. I sit down on a 3-legged chair with a cardboard box holding up the missing leg.

"What would you like me to cure you of, my dear?"

I'm a disaster. The boy I love is leaving forever, and he doesn't even know my feelings toward him. It's been festering for 4 years. I'm 20 now. "What exactly can you do?"

"Anything." Her eyes sparkle with mystery.

"Can you boost my pheromones?" I blurt out.

"Of course."

_Get the stray thought out of your mind! She's not a medical practitioner_.

"Can you make me more attractive?" I've never been one to want to change any of my features, but just wondering the spectrum of her powers.

"Not in the physical sense, but yes."

"How?"

"Ancient spells passed down from the women before me."

"Can you help me find a nice guy that will like me back?"

"Yes. Please bring me a personal item of your intended, like a piece of hair or a vial of sweat."

"Uh, he's in Tokyo right now. And he's coming back here for 2 weeks in 2 months. I just want to make sure I tell him, before I lose the chance."

She hesitated. Finally, she replied, "Not to worry. We can find you a charming gentleman for your _needs_."

_I didn't think anything at the time, but that old pervy lady was already setting her plans in action! Damn my stupid brain for not noticing earlier. _

"Thank you. Um, how should I pay you?"

"Nothing, but the fruits of your relationship."

Maybe she's a modern-day Cupid. She doesn't need anything in return but the feeling that she brought two people together. So enigmatic, but okay. I shrugged it off so easily. The deeper I got the harder it was for me to back out. I was intrigued. I wanted this to happen so badly.

"I don't want to become the stalker-obsessive type. Alright? I just want him to give me one chance. Light the spark of romance, and I will handle the rest."

"Sure." She said.

Without another word, she left me in the room alone and disappeared down a dim hallway. Half an hour later, I was near ready to call out to her or go into her lair, but she returned just in time. She had a brown lunch bag in her hand.

"Drink this. After a fortnight, it will be enabled."

"What happens?"

"You will be ready to be aligned with the man you desire." What? She's supposed to be a love doctor. Then why does everything she say sound so _un_-romantic and clinical and just downright weird?

"Okay. Thank you." I reply. I just wanted to get out of there.

"Come again, dear."

/

I left the vial on my bathroom counter for four days. I finally grow the courage to just down the small thing. It's no more than a shot.

All that moralistic drivel that I've learned over the years starts prancing around my brain. Don't take candy from a stranger. Never leave a drink unattended. For all I know, this could be hemlock! But I'm desperate here. I'm alone. Maybe death is my deepest desire unearthed. Maybe I want to die, just not by my own hands.

I lift the vial with one hand. The other with a glass of tap water. Wish me luck. But before I can down it, I stop. I really am a wimp. Arisa always said so.

/

That Thursday, I return to _1999 Yuurei Alley_. She's there. This time she has pin-straight black hair and she is completely clad in black, from her heavy-looking black onyx bauble necklace to her pointy shoes. She really is a witch...

"You're back."

"Yes. I was just wondering..." I trail off, unsure of how to broach the subject. "Will I die from drinking this potion?" I'm not sure what I expect to hear. Will a 'no' really ease me?

"No. I brewed it from the freshest supply. Don't worry. You will get what you want."

I give her a polite smile, but my feet are still rooted to the ground.

"I see you still doubt me. Please, let me demonstrate." She goes down the hallway and returns with a small test tube. She pours a little of the vial out, caps it, and returns it to me.

She beckons her kitten over. 'No, not animal testing!' Cries my inner animal lover, but it's like a train wreck, I can't stop it.

She ruffles the top of the kitten's head before tilting it back and pouring the vial's contents into his eager mouth. I peek out from one eye to see if the kitten is alright. After a few moments, I notice it is. I breathe out a sigh of relief. Now what's got me worried is one of those 6-hours to release type of drugs... oh my, I've been watching too many dramas.

I finally leave. That night, when Shigure and Kyo are asleep, I stand before my streaked mirror quaking with anxiety. I'm doing it.

I swig the liquid down, expecting it to burn my throat like sake. But it doesn't. It takes on different tastes. First it takes like briny ocean water, salty, slimy, seaweed-y, eel-y. Next, it tastes like some earthy root. Then, it tastes like stewed bitter herbs. And lastly, some plum wine, with floral notes and the faint saccharine taste of durian. Oh, no. That's not the end of it, there's a rather gross taste of what a bunch of wet old leaves would taste like. Oh well. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger as the saying goes.

/

I feel fine. I check my face. No rashes or growths. I check my heart rate. Slightly higher. I check my temperature. A smidgen hot.

/

A/N: 1.21.2013 - Hope you all enjoyed. Pwease review! A little more background as to what pre-dated the kiss. You will slowly see things unravel. Stick with it!


	3. Chapter 3: Adjusting

/ Tough review crowds these days. :( Review responses are in the end author's notes! Enjoy! Rating is probably like T+ here. Be warned. It's only gonna move up. Hope you all continue reading!

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.

Chapter 3: Adjusting

/

The only thing that she got right is the 14 day threshold. It's three in the afternoon and I'm sitting on my bed feeling a ball of puzzlement rolling around my stomach. Today was supposed to be fun. I had only gone to the Sohma Estates to help Kisa make Black Sesame Mousse Layer Cake for her class bake sale. It was so fun.

Until I turned up on Hatori's porch. My hand somehow rang the doorbell, and when the door opened… I felt overflowing desire. What's the word for that?

Oh right, aphrodisiac. That was no love potion, it was an aphrodisiac potion which made me an unrestrained beast to the first man I encountered! I'm playing with fire here!

I'm starting to feel antsy again. My left leg is tapping incessantly.

I'm going end up being some deranged, cocaine addicted sex worker to feed my need. I really need to get help.

I take the bus straight to the Love Doctor.

It's around dinner time, because I can smell a blend of savory aromas wafting from the apartment windows. The lights in her house are out. There doesn't seem to be anyone there. In the darkness, it makes it look almost abandoned. Even her Love Doctor sign in the window isn't there anymore.

Dejected, my feet drag me away. My mind wants to be vigilant and wait, but my body knows it's a lost cause, and I need to satisfy my urges NOW.

I hold off for two days. Things are getting worse. I haven't slept for 24 hours. It's a constant throb on the right side of a head, like a migraine, and in a place more _south_. No over-the-counter-pill works. And I'm too afraid to see a real doctor. What do I say? I have a sex problem? Luckily, it is summer, and I'm working. I have my own office and no one has to witness this. My right eye is twitching. If you were to capture me on tape, you'd probably call me delusional or something.

/

I knock on Kyo's office door. It's converted from the shed behind Shigure's house. It's his sanctuary. He's half-naked, wearing cargo shorts, his flat boyish chest gleaming in the yellow glow of his lamp.

I tell him everything. I've been in love with Yuki for four years. His three month internship to Tokyo... his job offer. I can't lose him to the big city. I needed a way to make him come back to this. To _me_.

I went to a witch doctor who said she could solve all my problems. I didn't have anything belonging to his body, so she brewed another potion...

Tears well up in his eyes when he realizes what's happened to me. I know I've hurt him so badly. He's always been there for me even though I pined for Yuki. Unknowingly, I've toyed with his poor heart. The one that was encased in diamond for so long - untouchable. I shattered the diamond shell, and now I've shattered his heart.

I'm afraid to continue looking. I know he has an unruly temper, and this will easily trigger it. I'm bracing myself for the torrent of hurtful words, but they don't come. Instead, I hear a whisper, "How could you?" His tone is flat and cold.

It speaks volumes. It's all he needs to say, because I can finish the rest. How could I seek out a love potion to make someone who didn't love me fall in love with me when I had someone who already loved me _for me_. Boy, does that sound like a tongue-twister.

I look up to him, my own eyes mirroring his pain. I can see it in his eyes the churning hurt. Bile is rising in my throat, and I run out of the room, unable to stop it. I vomit over the edge of the porch, into a bushel of gnarled thorny stems.

The door closes behind me, from the wind or from Kyo, I'm not sure. But I can't go back. I look back once more before I leave.

That seemed to have absolved my libidinous mind for a moment. But I can feel it returning, full-force. Kisses aren't going to fix it. I need more.

I go back to Shigure's house. I call out for Shigure downstairs, but luckily he's not home.

I go into my room and close the shades. I remove my sweater despite the chills coursing through me. It is summer, but I am feeling increasingly cold. My temperature has been fluctuating wildly since the potion. My fingers are so cold, they've morphed into talons.

I remove my clothing and lean against my closed door, eyes closed, near naked. I crumple to the floor and hide my head in the fold of my arms. My scattered thoughts are running all over the place. Yuki... Tokyo... potion doesn't work... made me crazy... Finally a boom of thunder propels me back into reality. I get so scared. Something from my childhood I believe. But there's no one to tell me the reason. I lie on my bed, in only my underwear. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've never felt the urge before. I palm my breasts and the contrast of temperatures makes me deliriously satisfied, if just for a second. I'm wondering if I can satisfy myself. Maybe I don't need a male's touch. Then at least I can wallow in my own self-pity. No one has to know my shame.

I tweak my small, hard nipple and it sends a pleasant thrumming feeling all the way down to my core. _I can do this_, I tell myself. I dip my hand under the waistband of my boy-shorts. My fingers graze the wiry hair framing the center of all my troubles... I try to reach further, but I can't. There's like an invisible barrier separating me from... myself. I cry out in frustration and blow my sticky hair out of my face. I can't believe it.

I royally fucked things up.

Only someone else can satisfy me now. And that first person dislikes me. He wants nothing to do with me. Did you see that expression on his face when I woke it? It was revulsion.

Realizing there is nothing I can do at this moment since I can't think of another resolution, I go downstairs to prepare dinner.

As I fumble into the darkness for the light switch, I hear Shigure's sing-songy voice down the hallway. Then, suddenly, a hand clamps around my waist and pulls me up the stairs before I can utter a sound. He pressed me against the door, and I look back into hazel eyes. A quick succession of emotions pass through his eyes before they become unreadable. He's fidgeting a little. And I don't realize I am as well until he returns from my closet with a pink bathrobe. He's completely soaked, but no less beautiful. Tall and lean, the epitome of feline agility. His limbs are graceful, so unlike the temperamental words that tumble out of his mouth when he's angry. The faint smile on his lips is rare to come by, making it all the more heart-warming, meaningful, and beautiful. He's not angry with me, I tell myself gleefully. I haven't lost a friend after the big reveal. That eases my mind a bit. In my daze, I can see a particular fat drop of water cascading down his neck, disappearing into the collar of his shirt.

"There," he whispers after he's wrapped the robe snugly around me.

"I'm sorry for the way I reacted back there. But I've decided," he took a deep breath before continuing, "If that's the way our relationship starts, so be it. I care about you too much to just let you go to another man's arms. Someone who doesn't love or care about you as much as I do."

I sigh in relief. "You didn't have to scare me like that!"

"Sorry, I just had to get to you before Shigure. Who knows what would have happened if you went to him first."

"I'm angry, but comforted by the fact that you came to me first. That's got to count for something, right? Can you love me, even just a little?"

"I do love you." As a brother, I admit, only to myself. Maybe he can fix this. Maybe I can learn to love him.

/

A/N: 1.22.2013 - In manga, Kyo's eyes are supposed to be orange. That doesn't seem realistic, so I'll go with next best thing: hazel.

Kyo's angry because he didn't want to start this impure physical relationship with someone he's loved for so long.

/

Tsukiakage: Yes, I'm so happy to write a TxH story again! Hope you enjoy it! I have so much planned.

Phenylephrine: Love you. Yes, we are meant to learn with Tohru more about her 'condition.'

conium: Thank you very much for your kind words! Hope you continue to enjoy the story.

ThatOneChickWhoWritesFanfic: Haha, thanks for the funny bit! Tohru's really desperate. And that confrontation with Yuki is gonna happen. It's gonna be _bad_. :)

Review, thoughts, anything – leave a message!


	4. Chapter 4: Cursed

/ Rating is T+ here. Warning: kinda lemony.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.

Chapter 4: Cursed

/

Swallowing my worries, I kiss him gently on the lips - the faintest graze of skin. I've done this many times before, as teasing friends do. His arms slide around my waist as he backs up toward the bed, pulling me with him. I already feel much better. He sits us down at the edge, looking back at me expectantly. I can tell he doesn't want to push me too far. He's sensitive toward me, and I am very grateful for that.

I throw caution to the wind (something that's become synonymous with me in recent times) and kiss him back, hungrily. My tongue breaks past his row of teeth into the hot cavern of his mouth, coaxing his tongue into submission. It's gentle and undulating against mine. My fingers trail up his neck to find the first button of his shirt. I undo it deftly, watching him for his reaction. His eyes are soundly closed, but his lips are restless against mine. He sinks down to the soft bed, bringing me with him, so that I'm lying over him, crouching. His shirt is like a wet plaster against his skin, making it difficult for me to undo the rest of the buttons, especially in my fevered state.

He breaks the kiss to unbutton himself quickly, including pulling down his jeans and tossing them into the dark corner. I've turned into a muddle of unfiltered desire.

The darkness seems to have made me alert to everything - every breath, every touch, every rustle, every gasp. He unties the belt on my bathroom, the one he moments ago put on me. Then he nudges the straps of my tank top off my shoulders. I feel the cold air touch my skin, but the warmth of his body heat offsets that. I'm trembling. I'm not wearing a bra, and that seems to trigger something primal inside him. He lets out a guttural noise as his hands move to my small breasts. They are just enough for his hands as he cups them, molds them, presses them together. He bends his head down to take a tender nipple into his mouth, sucking it, laving it. I gasp and tilt my head back automatically. My back arches toward his mouth, but he pushes me away. _Why_? My needy body cries out.

It's like he can hear me and responds, "Curse."

Of course. We are both cursed now.

I'm so aroused. I wish I could feel his heart beat against mine. I hope it's racing as hard as mine. But something else satisfies this hope. I can feel his obvious arousal against my thigh. He's hard. He wants this just as much.

Just as he's about to flip me over, I hear Shigure's voice outside. "Tohru?"

"Yes?" I reply. I hope he doesn't hear the unsteadiness over the clap of thunder outside. "When's dinner? I'm starving."

"J-just a minute." Or ten.

"Okay, I'll be in my room."

Kyo pushes me on my back and his lips dive toward the column of my neck. He leaves a trail of kisses down to my collarbone.

"Ready?"

I nod and he shifts himself, ready to take me, impale me. Only my desire is replaced by a pounding pain. The feeling is like a thousand needles prickling against my skin. _Oh no_.

"Kyo?" I ask.

"Yes?"

"Can we do this" -gulp- " some other time? I'm not feeling so well."

He immediately gets off me, kneeling over me. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, _no_, nothing like that. I just suddenly felt the urge go away. I think you fixed it for now."

"Oh, alright." He replies with a stiff smile. He's pretending to be happy, his mind is telling him to react that way, but I know as a man with needs, he isn't satisfied. And I'm sorry once again, that I led him on.

I don't have to heart to tell him that I'm still a boiling pot of unreleased tension. He can't fix me.

Horrified, I'm pretty sure that only one person can end my agony.

/

I put on layers upon layers of clothing so that I can't touch myself. It's acting like a straitjacket. Even though I know I can't fix it, my hands are wandering. I literally want to scratch my skin raw to remove that sensation. I curl up in my bed after he's left. I'm flushed, hot, and needy. I don't understand this potion. Sometimes I feel so hot. Other times so cold. I try to dream of something so that I can focus on something other than my disgraceful need for something I can't have.

One kiss from him cured me for two days. What would something more do?

I finally fall into a fitful sleep dreaming about a faceless man with black hair that covers his scarred eye.

/

"Hatori! Tohru's come down with a fever! She's unconscious and babbling about potions and witchcraft. You've got to come over."

Hatori throws down the phone with a thud and goes out the door. His heart is racing inside his chest. He doesn't understand what had happened between them. Tohru had come to him, completely uninhibited, even wanton, and made him feel... aroused? He hadn't felt it years, since Hana. After her mind had been erased, it was like the switch inside his dim heart had been shut off, _forever_. He couldn't feel anything remote to desire for affection or lust. But when innocent Tohru had showed up on his doorstep, her voice laced with desire and an uncanny need for him, he _felt_.

And then he'd kissed her when she'd collapsed. There was no fear, no apprehension, just pure sensation. It was a chaste kiss, but he didn't know what do make of it. His body had responded, and if he had been ten years younger, he surely would have taken her.

He strides to Shigure's door with urgency and knocks two times.

"The door's open. Hurry up!"

He opens the door and hurries upstairs. The door to her room is open, with Shigure sitting bedside. "Good, you're here." He has a dripping-wet hand towel in his hand - probably being counterproductive.

"Prepare a warm bath." Hatori said.

Putting the back of his hand to her forehead conveys to him that she is running a very high fever. Coupled with her thrashing in her bed like a mad woman is not doing any good.

"Bath is ready!" He hears from outside.

As he lifts her in his arms, she enters a momentary consciousness. "Tori, I'm sorry I need you." Her eyes are hooded with lust, but her lips are quivering with apprehension. She falls back into unconsciousness, her body limp as a rag doll's. Even in her ill state, she is affecting him physically.

He places her gently on the bathroom vanity, holding her up with one hand, while he manages to remove her clothing. He doesn't understand why she's wearing so many layers of clothing, including mittens. He keeps her bra and panties on to preserve her innocence from his old lecherous eyes. Seeing her this way makes him feel useless. She's in pain, and he doesn't know how to stop it. He hates it. His hand brushes her limp hair away from her face. This singular touch seems to ease her. The worry lines around her eyes seem to abate. He continues to stroke her hair.

/

I suddenly feel much better. I can feel someone caressing my hair. I want more of this gentle touch. All over my body.

/

Her hand shoots out from the water and grabs his wrist. It pulls it to her bosom. His fingers turn stiff at the soft texture beneath his hand. What is she doing? Is she having a dream? It's likely, especially in this erratic stage of her high fever.

The circles he rubs at her temples are soothing, bringing her much relief. Her eyes flutter open, completely lucid.

He may be lonely, but he was not going to take advantage of a in-and-out of consciousness girl, let alone his patient!

"Tori," she moans. "Make me better."

How?! He wants to shout. Then he thinks. _Hard_.

Two days ago. When she'd come. She'd seem frazzled too. A less potent form of this. And when they'd kissed, she seemed to feel much better. Could it be?

No. How would she have gotten this curse? Surely not Akito... Akito was supposed to be at some two-week long spiritual meditation event in New York City.

He'd fix this now.

But he needed answers later.

He raised her up to an upright sitting position and leaned down to kiss her fully on the lips.

/

The kiss felt like a long cool drink in an oasis. I've been near death in the desert... Hatori had figured it out.

Thank Kami.

I reach for his hands to shake them, to let him know I'm alright, because I'm not sure my voice will allow me. He wrestles his hands out of my grip and I stare back stunned. He's broken our stalemate. Is he mad?

"What's happened?"

I look away, feeling ashamed. "I took a potion."

"From who?"

"A doctor."

"A real doctor?" He hates to make her feel small and silly.

"I th-thought so."

"Tohru, how could you?" Those three words again. It's more shameful that when the kids in primary school called me rice ball.

"I-I wanted Yuki to like me, so that he wouldn't stay in Tokyo."

"But some potion from some random person! You could have been killed! It could have been poison! Whoknows if you don't have any poison in your blood right now! You could be _dying_for Kami's sake!"

I can feel my lips quivering. Of course he's right. I was so foolish. I didn't think about the consequences. It's so unlike me, but desperate times called for desperate actions. I couldn't let Yuki go before confessing my love for him, for at least giving us a try. One week back. I was supposed to make him love me. Stay with me.

"I'm going to need blood samples from you. We need to do a thorough analysis. When did you go to the… doctor?"

"About three weeks ago."

"Have you gone back to find out if there's an antidote?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"She's not there anymore."

"Fuck!" She'd never heard Hatori swear before. He's so different. He's so mad.

"Get your clothes on. We're going back to my office."

/

A/N: 1.23.2013 – Scary Tori. Rawr. Please review!

Devilwoman18 – Yeah, many characters are going to make an appearance. :) Thanks dear!

Kouga's older woman – Yeah, you're onboard!

Phenylephrine – You're welcome! Kyo is a sweet boy.


	5. Chapter 5: Sweet Tooth

/ Enjoy!

I don't own Fruits Basket.

Chapter 5: Sweet Tooth

/

Aiyah! I don't think I can look into Hatori's eyes after _that_display. I'm beyond mortified. I didn't just beg. I forced his hands upon me! I'm-I'm one of those subway perverts! I'm on his doorsteps now, like he told me. It's only been a day, but I think I'm becoming immune to the kisses. They aren't going to be enough, in short time. And I'm not sure what to do then. I don't want to push for something he'll only reject. I'm overwhelmed.

I'm sucking on my favorite strawberry milk candy to ease my anxiety. I just need the courage to ring the doorbell.

The door opens. "Good afternoon, Tohru." My heart flutters a little. He's a mystery. Probably the Sohma I know the least about, aside from Akito.

"Hi." I'm suddenly breathless like I've ran six laps around the school track, only I've been standing here for six minutes instead. Maybe it's the energy I've expelled in _thinking_. Yeah, that's probably it.

He gestures for me to come inside. For once, it's not freezing like an ice box inside, it's temperate. I like it this way. It's like he knew…

I have very little body heat. His office was always so cold before.

I remove my jacket and he puts it on the coat rack.

"How was work?"

"Oh, just some number crunching. I can't wait until next week. I'm going on a trip."

"You deserve it."

I blush and bow like an insane person. I think it was eleven times. This is probably the first time I've had a real conversation with him, more than a grunt of acknowledgement or a pleasantry. It's nice. But it's making me tense.

"Ready?" He asks.

I nod. I shift the candy to the side of my mouth and close my eyes. He presses the lightest kiss on my upper lip. Expecting him to move back immediately, I open my eyes and say thanks, but he's still there. My voice is muffled into the hollow of his mouth. The soft tip of his tongue is at the seam of my mouth, prodding gently. Without hesitation, I part my lips, giving way to my eager, but unskilled mouth. His tongue meets mine, and I greet it with hesitation. He massages the underside, before seeking something. He finds it. The small marble-sized candy and siphons it away. I'm about to protest, but this is all too intriguing. He's a doctor, he's not afraid that I may be contaminated? He returns it to me moments later, and I can feel a smile settle over his lips. It's one of those weird Mona Lisa smiles that give nothing away. It's like he's solved a big mystery. A deep chuckle rumbles through his chest, and eventually up to me. The sound is so foreign. This is so surreal. Hatori-kiss-tongue-candy-laugh? OMG. I've all but dissolved in a screaming fan girl or something. That was so… stimulating. I need to stand in front of a blazing A/C.

/

Her mouth is so sweet. He couldn't resist seeking the source. And when he finds it, he wants a taste for himself. He's never liked sweets, except for the occasional dark chocolate bar, but here, _now_, he does. It tastes like her. He feels like he's surrounded by her when he tastes the little spot of heaven.

He's afraid to admit it, but a little part of him is falling for this sweet girl.

/

"Thank you for stopping by Tohru."

"No, thank you." For being patient with me. For not pushing my creepy advances away. I may have thought it was terrible to have you as the "intended", but it's not so bad.

"Before you go, do you feel ready to take some blood samples? I'd like you send them to a lab just to make sure there's nothing wrong."

"Sure, of course."

/

It's four days later when I spot him at the grocery store. It's early in the morning, for the freshest pickings. He's wearing all black, despite the heat wave. I'm not better. I'm bundled up in a long-sleeve shirt, vest, and a floor-skimming skirt. I've topped it off with a floppy hat, because I'm very sensitive toward the sun. I tell myself that I'm not following him, but I am. Unintentionally! We both start anti-clockwise, visiting the frozen food department before checking the fresh produce. He picks up a frozen package of gyoza. I pick up some vanilla ice cream.

As he makes his way to the produce, I spot Mayuko, my former school teacher, who spots Hatori.

I duck into an aisle and listen in on their conversation.

"Hi Hatori-san."

"Hello Mayuko-san. How is your summer so far?"

"Very pleasant. I'm not teaching summer school this year, so I have time off to focus on myself. I've taken up some crocheting, water-coloring, and cooking. I'm also going on a tour of China with my mom at the end of the month."

"That sounds like fun."

"How about yourself?"

"I'm still a boring doctor."

She swats his arm playfully. I can't see his expression from this angle, but Mayuko is beaming, so it's probably a pleasant one. I feel a little hurt. It's not my place. But I get easily attached. And after that candy kiss, I can't help but want him to think of me a little.

But he probably doesn't even remember.

"Do you want to meet me for some light dessert this afternoon? I know a new place which has the best sweet soups for summer."

"Alright. Where's it located?" Hatori hates sweets! I can't believe he'd just accept that invitation. He's never accepted any of our ice cream nights at Shigure's house! He never eats my sweet soups after dinner! Then again, why did he take your strawberry candy out of your mouth? Maybe he's different from what he seems.

Maybe he has a secret sweet tooth!

"Give me your cell."

Hatori hands his iPhone over to her and she punches in something. "My phone number too. Just in case." And she winks. Everything she does is so effortless. So elegant. I, on the other hand, am an unscrupulous, aggressively-brazen, emotionally-overcharged nymphomaniac.

"See you then." Hatori calls out after her. He's still looking at his cell phone.

I turn before he can see me and rush to the checkout line. Forget the fresh produce. I need my ice cream right now. I'll buy vegetables at the Farmer's Market instead.

/

A/N: 1.24.2013 – Review please!

Phenylephrine: Yeah, Kyo is disappointed, but he's not gonna let it show! He's be a pretty big presence in the story. :)

Tsukiakage: Thanks!

Devilwoman18: Don't worry, there's a lot more where that came from!


	6. Chapter 6: Summer Retreat

/ Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Fruits Basket.

**Chapter 6: Summer Retreat**

**/**

I'm twisting in my bed. I can't seem to find a comfortable position. I can't stop thinking about Hatori and Mayuko's meeting at the grocery store. I'm feeling the tell-tale tingling running throughout my body, but I can't lift myself up to go to his house. I won't.

I've interfered enough.

I don't want to be the third wheel. And I don't want to be his obligation. I don't want to be troublesome.

He's a thirty-something year old man. He should be able to pick who he wants to be with. Mayuko is a fine choice. She's smart, graduated Columbia University in the States. She speaks fluent English. She's traveled everywhere (courtesy of being a tour guide for 4 years). There is nothing about her that isn't perfect. They look _perfect_ together. He's tall enough to match her. Me, on the other hand, I'm like a small sea urchin attached to the great seahorse.

/

I cave in. I can't suffer anymore. My whole body is trembling when I arrive on his porch. When he sees my state, he doesn't even bother with pleasantries. He pulls me in and kisses me thoroughly. "Why didn't you come in earlier?" He's looking me up and down, and when he sees that his grip is leaving a striking white mark around my biceps, he lets go and apologizes.

"I don't want to be your burden." I tell him.

"You're not. Stop worrying about that."

"Come on, it's late. Let me take you home."

Too tired to protest, I follow him soundlessly.

In Shigure's driveway, he comes around the side of the car, but I always open the door before he can do it for me. I _really_don't want to be a burden. He stops me in my tracks and kisses me again. Probably for reassurance. It sends a pleasant buzz down to my core.

I squeeze my legs tightly.

/

It's Saturday, the first day of the summer camp. I can't wait. I've been waiting all year for this. Saki is beside me. We're loading all the campers' luggage into the back of the bus.

"So what's been going on?" Saki asks, after she pops a large bubble she's just blown.

"Not much. Just work. I have a question for you. Do you know anyone, magical, who knows how to fix love potions gone wrong?"

"I'm psychic, not 'magical.' What's going on? This isn't about Yuki, is it? Have you done something stupid?"

She knows me too well. And she never minces words.

On our ride there, I tell her everything. Including my "intended."

That night, after all the girls have settled into their bunks and it is lights out, Saki and I sit on the cabin porch. The crickets are humming all around us and the fireflies are glittering, it's comforting. "Have you thought about why Hatori is your intended?"

"Not really."

"Maybe there's a reason. This isn't just some accident."

I shrug. "I just passed his office that day. And felt this unearthly draw to his porch. Now it's only him. I can't be with anyone else. I tried it with Kyo, when I was really desperate. He was really sweet about it, but it didn't work. I felt the worst, like pins were piercing my skin. My head was squeezing tighter and tighter, and I was gonna explode."

"Just something to think about."

Saki always has a good perspective, but I just don't think there's any correlation between the love potion, Hatori, and me. I think it was just a mistake. I mean, we're so different.

/

It's eight am, and Saki and I are taking our group of 8 girls to the ropes course. This is my favorite.

We start off with an easy one.

"This is a giant seesaw. Let's see how fast your girls can balance it out." I say.

They look at it like it's no challenge, but once the 5th girl gets on it without any strategy, it tips, forcing them all off. They start talking it through. There enthusiastic clamor makes me happy. It sets my heavy thoughts about Hatori aside. Sending a person of equal wait to both sides, to try to stabilize it out. Eventually after several attempts, they get it right. They jump for joy, and all fall down. It's a cute tumble.

Mission Accomplished.

The next activity they do is based on trust.

There are two ropes stretched taut across an open space. They start off close to each other, but grow further and further apart, forming an acute angle. Two partners will start at the small end, starting on their own rope, helping each other stay up by holding onto each other. But as they go down the ropes, it becomes more and more difficult to rely on the other person. Eventually, only palms are touching.

I wonder if Hatori would be a good partner for this?

Could I trust him?

/

"Today went really well. The girls were so well-behaved and smart." Saki says.

"Yeah. I don't think I could have figured out the Spider Web, if you gave me a week alone. I'm exhausted."

"Night, Tohru."

"Night, Saki."

/

It's the fourth of five days in the camp. Despite the fun I've had, that pulsing throb is back. In vengeance. I'm three hours away from him. The only reason I've been able to fall asleep is because I'm so tired everyday. That's a good thing. Otherwise, I'd be scratching my eyes out.

4:30 PM. I've held out this long. I'm bent at the waist, clutching my sides, behind a pine tree. The pain inside me is pounding. Saki is showing the girls how to row a canoe. I can't concentrate. I've crossed my legs to staunch that persistent throb. But it isn't working. I can feel sticky moisture welling up. I feel sick.

"Head counselor Daichi-san?"

"Yes, Tohru?"

"I'm not telling well, is there any way I can get back to town?"

"I'm sorry, but the buses are coming at eight tomorrow night."

I'm doomed.

5:00 PM. I'm freezing and nonfunctional. Saki's taken over. I owe her. But she understands.

I'm in the showers, sitting on the tiled floor. The water is turned to the hottest setting, and I'm letting it pour over me. I still feel so cold, and my skin is all splotchy. Blues and reds. My feet are read.

6:00 PM.

My heart plummets when the phone goes to answering machine. It's a miracle my cramping legs carried me to the bed. I'm aching for him. Voice shaking, I say, "Hatori, I need you now. I'm at Amaterasu Ranch."

6:19 PM.

Hatori returns from his first date with Mayuko. It went pretty well. They spent a day at the Natural History museum.

He listens to his messages while changing into more comfortable clothing. His body turns completely still when he hears her near-broken voice on the phone. Oh, no. He forgot. She was supposed to go on a trip. And of course, leave it to her to forget to come to him! Without hesitation, he heads out the front door.

His heart throbbing against its icy confinements.

/

A/N: Hatori to the rescue!

Tsukiakage: Haha, yes, Tohru is jealous.

Phenylephrine: Yes, good observation! Real jealousy, or a side effect? Haha, we don't know at this point…

Miaboo011: Glad you've joined! Things will be moving along… lemony goodness next chapter!

Kouga's older woman: You got it!


	7. Chapter 7: Overdue Relief

/ Enjoy this short update! Warning: LEMON!

**Chapter 7: Overdue Relief**

/

"Hi, I'm here to see Tohru Honda."

The man wearing a badge that says "Head Counselor Daichi" is cleaning up the camp after hours.

It's 10:20. It took longer than expected because it was dark and Hatori took a wrong turn.

"Who are you?"

"Tohru is very sick, and she called me to bring her medication." He lies smoothly about the latter part, though he does have pills in the back of his car as proof if necessary.

Daichi remembers Tohru asking him today. He's surprised that it was that urgent.

"Yes. I recall. Please follow me."

He takes Hatori down the dirt path to a series of neat cabins. He checks the small chalkboard beside each door until he locates Tohru's cabin. "She's here." Then he knocks.

The door opens immediately to a girl with straight black hair. Hatori remembers this face from somewhere so assumes it is Tohru's friend. "Oh good, you're here. Tohru really needs your help."

Her all-knowing gaze unnerves him, and Hatori comes into the cabin. Tohru and Saki live just past the front door. The campers are separated by a second door.

Tohru's on the bottom bunk.

/

"Tohru?"

I'm drifting in and out of consciousness. I can hear his soothing voice. I'm sure he's not here. He didn't call back.

Saki's voice punches through my hazy fog. "Tohru, Hatori Sohma is here. You should go with him."

I can feel his strong arms lift me from the bed. I'm like a lump of lead.

"Head counselor, is there a private room where I can administer the medicine to Tohru?"

"Yes, the nurse's office is empty tonight. Why don't you go there?"

"Hai, that would be perfect."

The smaller man leads them back up the dirt path to a well-lit bungalow. He unlocks the door and tells them good-bye and if they need anything to find him in cabin 197. Hatori flips the switch and sets her down on the cot. It looks hard and uncomfortable, but it'll do until she is settled down. He tries not to wince when he sees her body. It's anemic, and frail, and looks bruised. Her weakness has triggered her body to shut down to reserve its resources. She's like a package marked 'Fragile.' He has to tread carefully.

"What do you need, Tohru?"

"You," I croak.

/

He kisses her deeply, putting himself all in. He doesn't want to see the consequences of this love potion if its requirements are not met. He doesn't want to see her hurt.

Her expression doesn't change. He tries again. Deeper, harder. And again. But nothing is alleviating the pain.

She's like a dying light bulb, with only a few flickers left. He's got to get this right.

"I'm going to try something. If it hurts, even a bit, tell me, and I'll stop."

She nods frantically.

His hand moves down to the waistband of her pajama shorts and pulls them down along with her undergarments. She doesn't even try to cover her modesty. She's about to _die_here. That's the least of her concerns.

His finger slips inside her, slowly, with ease. She is so wet and soft and aroused, pulsing for him, her walls spasming around his finger like little volcanic aftershocks. He's been unfamiliar with the female anatomy for some time now, and inside this slick heat, it's near impossible to find what he's looking for. But an arch of her back and the accompanied moan tell him he's found the aching nub. It's unbelievable how responsive she is too him. She's squirming beneath his hand, wanting, _no_, needing more. His fluid-coated thumb is stroking soothing circles over her highly sensitized concentration of nerves. It feels good. So good. She feels alive. She feels heat return to her body.

She desperately wants more. Becoming more attune to her body's reactions, he catches the hem of her shirt and lifts it over her breasts. It's the first time he's seen them and they are lovely. His other hand even stops its ministrations because he can't multitask when he sees this wondrous sight. She protests with a small mewl and he continues again.

They are small, but pert milky white mounds. He rubs her pebbled nipple between his thumb and middle finger. She bucks against him. She's like his puppet.

As he continues, she can feel the sweet pressure building up inside her. It's sending heavy waves of desperate pleasure coursing through her body, causing her to move to his rhythm. He is gripping her hip against the bed because she is moving way to crazily that he's loosing contact of her bud. He increases his speed when he sees she is about to come.

Afterwards, he washes his hand in the adjacent sink.

/

I'm so transparent. I might as well have a tattoo on my forehead that says "Fuck me". But he's still a carving in marble.

/

A/N: Gosh, Hatori is like a robot!

Tsukiakage: Not a chance, missy! Mayuko is gonna cause DRAMA. Hehe.

Phenylephrine: Yes, our savior!

Kouga's older woman: Hatori doesn't believe in love. ::sniffles:: Yet.


	8. Chapter 8: Movie Night

/ Enjoy!

**Chapter 8: Movie Night**

/

It's early morning, from the faint blue glow slipping in through the open curtains. I feel so relieved. Thanks to the man sleeping uncomfortably in the sofa beside me. I get out of bed and slip out of the nurse's office. I need a fresh shower. I feel all sticky.

/

She looks well. Too thin, but the desperate, haunted look in her eyes is gone now. Her body isn't exactly a glowing depiction of health, but at least it doesn't look bruised or broken.

/

A squirming nervousness is coiling in my stomach. The deed's been done, but I'm not really sure what to say to my savior. It was out of necessity, not love.

He's looking at me strangely, like he's trying to access my state. I feel great, so there is nothing for him to worry about. His _duties_ will probably put me off for a week or so. I haven't felt this relieved since all this started. It's like stones had been weighing me down, and now I've been set free again. I don't want to think about what's gonna happen when _this_won't do it for me anymore. When I need something more? Will he oblige?

"Are you feeling alright?"

"Yes."

"Are you ready to go?" He's fumbling with the trim of his sweater, like there's a piece of dust on the spotless fabric.

"Hai. I've already spoken to Daichi."

I tug my luggage to his car, and prepare to lift it into the truck, but my arms won't do it, there are like useless sticks. I haven't gained back all my energy. Hatori notices and easily stuffs my luggage into the truck. I go the right back door of the car, where I usually sit. He eyes me, but doesn't say anything more.

Barely half an hour into the ride back, I fall asleep, curled up in the seat like a cat.

/

"Thank you very much Hatori. I'm sorry again."

"Don't be sorry. Just tell me as soon as possible if you start feeling _weird_."

I nod before waving him good-bye.

/

Yuki's coming back next week. I've started preparing already. I've tidied up his room, put in fresh linens, vacuumed, and let the sun in for fresh air.

Right now, I'm at my desk writing up a menu of his favorite foods. I'm going to make everything so he'll remember the good times.

/

I bump into Kyo on my way to the bathroom. He looks pretty disheveled. He's taking three college courses, so I can understand his stress, but I haven't seen him this put-out before.

"Hey Kyo?"

He whips around.

"I'm sorry about last time. How I planned to use you. I'm a horrible friend."

"Don't worry about it. It was out of your control. I'm glad it didn't happen. I don't want it to mess up our friendship. Are-are you feeling alright now?"

I nod. I'm feeling fantastic. I'm glad he's so pleasant about it.

"Still up for our movie night?"

"Hell yeah! You're the one who was MIA last week." He teases.

My cheeks turn red. It's true. I was... out. I was like a werewolf out on the full moon. Trying to control my desires.

"Since I'm the villain here, you get to choose the movie." I say.

"Okay, just don't come moaning to me when you don't like what I've picked."

"I promise I won't." I nod with acceptance. I'll just cover my eyes when I see something I don't like.

"Tohru, why don't we invite the others? Haru, Kisa, Kagura, Momiji, Ayame, Hatori, even though I'm sure he won't come. And Kureno. Nah, I don't want to invite him because he's Akito's sycophant. Shigure's always complaining that they never come to visit and that it's turning him into a curmudgeon. Akito won't be back until Sunday, so there's no reason for anyone not to come. While the cat is gone, the mice will play. I mean, I don't mean myself, I mean Akito."

I giggle. "Yeah, I got it. I agree, we should invite the others."

"Great, I'll send out invitations. Can you prepare dinner and snacks?"

"Of course." It's good practice for when Yuki returns. He loves the snacks I make.

/

_**Friday afternoon**_

Tonight's going to be a full house. Everyone is coming. Even Hatori! Some called less than an hour ago to confirm. And my stomach is twisting into a knot just thinking about it. I didn't buy enough ingredients!

There is no way I can get to the grocery by bus and bring back all the stuff I need. I'd need two more pairs of hands, plus the power of an ox.

I need Hatori's help. I hope he's available.

_Ring. Ring_.

No one picks up. Oh great. I call again, and leave a message.

"Sorry to bother you. I was just wondering if you could take me to the grocery. I need to pick up lots of ingredients since everyone is coming for the movie night. It's okay if you can't."

I grab my recyclable grocery bags and my purse.

Luckily I manage to get to the bus stop in time. Otherwise, another 20 minutes wasted.

Oo, I remind myself to stop by Yuki and my garden. I can make a vegetable platter. I can also use the spicy peppers to make a tasty mini omelettes.

/

The yellow sweet potatoes are on sale. I can't resist a sale. New item to tonight's menu. I'm gonna bake 'em and top it with my favorite cinnamon topping.

I need to pick up green beans, daikon, cabbage, Aburaage, kobacha, adzuki paste (there's no time to make it from scratch), eggs, nori, fresh salmon, brown sugar, rice flour, cuttlefish, corn, persimmons, miso paste, furikake, green onion, pork loin, fish paste, tofu, mushroom, noodles. And anything on sale. I'm a hoarder if you ever saw one.

I don't really think about how I'm gonna actually get all this back. I'm also scavenging for a cardboard box that'll I'll drag on the ground if worst comes to worst.

After finding the last jar of Yuki's furikake in the back of the shelf, I smile to myself with triumph. And when I return to my shopping cart, someone is waiting for me.

He has his hands tucked into his jeans, and he looks scrumptious.

"Hi. I got your message."

I beam. I'm glad he did. I'm about to convey my cardboard box worst-case scenario, but I don't think he wants to hear about me blabbering.

"What this?" He says, lifting a plastic bag of light brown substance. He's squeezing it like it's some gross scientific experiment.

I can't help but laugh at his expression. "That's fish paste. We're gonna stuff it into the tofu."

"Hmm-mmm." He feigns worry.

When I'm about to pay with cash, Hatori hands his credit card to the cashier before I can protest. It's a lot of money. I don't want him paying for this. I'll talk to him outside.

"You don't have to pay for that."

"I want to. I've been an honorary guest for too long. It's the least I can do. I don't chop, cook, or clean. I'm getting off easy."

"I'll slip you several containers of leftovers to last the week." I whisper conspiratorially.

He observes me with an amused chuckle. "Alright." He probably realizes that I won't go down without a fight.

It's three o'clock when we arrive home.

I get Kyo out of his shed to help. Since he isn't the most proficient in the art of chopping, I give him the task of stuffing the tofu with the fish paste I've primed with some special ingredients.

I've shown Hatori how to marinade the protein. And I'm cutting up the vegetables into pretty shapes.

Oh, I forgot! The garden. I excuse myself quickly and rush to the garden.

/

Movie night turns out to be a success despite the rather squicky movie choice, Oldboy, courtesy of Kyo. Everyone is on the edge of their seat. The protagonist is a madman who you can't take your eyes off of.

But I can. Because I'm preoccupied with someone. Hatori sits in a chair away from the rest of us. He's like an island. And I'm a lonely boat that wants to reach it. But the currents around the island are just too strong. I just want him to let me in. We're in this mess together, right? I've broken down in front of him, shown him everything about me, and I still don't know anything about him.

I observe the way he eats. It's quite captivating.

A/N: 1.28.2013 – Thanks for reading! Leave a review! (Only 2 for last chapter. T-T)

Tsukiakage: Yes, her chosen one is a cold-hearted robot. As we shall uncover, he has many problems of his own that he's been hiding.

Phenylephrine: Soon, my dear, soon. More lemon coming up soon… wink, wink!


	9. Chapter 9: Homecoming

/ Rating is now M after a reader's reminder. :)

**Chapter 9: Homecoming**

/

It's two days later. I know Yuki's plane landed this afternoon. I wonder when he'll come to visit us. _Me_. I set up some food, just in case.

When I'm cleaning the kitchen, the doorbell rings. I shout, "I'll get it." I don't want Shigure to interfere with Yuki's homecoming. Not that he would get out of bed anyways.

Yuki looks well. He takes my breath away, as always. The only difference I see is that he's put on some healthy weight and his hair is longer. His arms look more defined. And his hair is curling at his nape. I only wish I could run my fingers through his hair to feel if it's as soft as it looks.

"I'm sorry, please come in. It's just that I haven't seen you in forever. I'm still stunned."

He laughs and pulls me into his arms, lifting me like I'm weightless. Wow, he is definitely strong. What's he been doing in Tokyo? Weight training? Maybe it's some city thing. He's wearing black jeans that make he legs look endless. Why am I describing him like a girl?

Why isn't my heart pounding when I see him?

It's not because of the potion… I can't believe the potion would alter my mind like this! I should still love who I loved before, but now with the added feature that I'm lustful for another guy!

All of a sudden, the upturn of my lips feel heavy, but I maintain my smile, even if under false pretenses. I don't want to ruin this homecoming.

I led Yuki into the kitchen where I've laid out all of his favorite food. I take a quick scan to make sure Shigure's sticky fingers haven't touched anything. Luckily for him, they didn't.

Yuki's eyeing everything like a boy in a candy shop. "This is too good to be true, Tohru." He leans down to kiss me on the head. It means nothing though. I don't feel anything.

I can't believe it.

I'm destined to not feel love again.

To be stuck in this loveless, sexual relationship with a man who probably only thinks of me as a burden to his manhood. I mean, I am making him betray Mayuko's trust. Are they in a relationship? I mean, am I really playing the mistress role?

Yuki's gobbling down on a mini shrimp onigiri. I had actually placed my bets on him eating the grilled cuttlefish first, but... I guess he's changed. Or my knowledge of him isn't up to date.

"Yuki, I'll be up in my room."

Behind closed doors, the tears start to fall. A mere trickle turns into a hot, salty waterfall dripping down my cheeks.

There's a soft knock at the door. "Can I come in?"

I wipe away the tears as best I can. "Come in."

"Are you alright?"

I nod, unable to form words.

He pulls me back to my bed. Both of us sit down at the edge.

"Tell me what's going on. I've missed you." He says in his endearing tone.

Only that my life has gone down the drain. I tried to get a love potion so that I could just confess to you. I love you. I _loved_you. And now I'm not sure what I'm feeling.

I feel a pang of hurt. For him. But mostly for me.

I hide my head in his shoulder because I don't think I can look into his eyes when I say all this stuff. I'm afraid to see some form of disappointment or worse, disgust.

"I don't want you to go to Tokyo." I blurt out. I want you to stay here. With me. Forever. I know deep down I still love you. I've always loved you. Your sensitivity, your thoughtfulness, your patience. "I-I..." I want to say 'I love you' but my voice has disappeared. I don't know if it's my fault or the potion's. I can't say it. I can't believe it. I really am ruined. I'm blubbering now, like a fool. "I like you."

"I like you too."

"I missed you so much, I don't want you to go back to Tokyo forever."

/

Hatori is standing outside her bedroom door. He drove Yuki here tonight. Yuki said it was the first thing on his list. To see Tohru.

Hatori thought they were still in the kitchen, eating, chatting. He was going to put her results on her desk, with a strawberry cupcake, which he saw at a storefront. It reminded him of her intoxicating strawberry-milk candy that he had tasted and _loved_.

He feels like an intruder.

He can tell it in her voice that she meant to say 'I love you.' She means it in the romantic sense. But he can also tell from Yuki's voice, he only means it as friendship. It isn't his place, but he feels slighted. Like he's the one who's invested his time and effort, but Yuki reaps the benefits.

He doesn't love her. She's too young, too fragile, too naïve.

Then why does he feel like she's tormenting him? And to think that she was starting to feel something for him! Pffffst! It's only an aphrodisiac, but her mind remains the same. She still loves Yuki. It's still Yuki. The potion hasn't changed anything! Their 'relationship' hasn't changed anything! Four weeks hasn't changed anything.

He's known all along, the potion was meant for Yuki.

She doesn't care about him.

/

He canceled his date with Mayuko today to bring Yuki over.

/

It's been four days since my breakdown in front of Yuki. He simply appeased me. Told me that it was his dream. He was working for the largest law firm in Japan, with a great team. They didn't look to him as an intern, but as a member. He's already signed the employment contract.

It's too late.

I'm hugging the stuffed Totoro he got me. His nickname for me. I'm feeling the jitters return.

I put on a wool sweater and ride my bicycle to Hatori's office. It's a really nice day. The sky is bright blue with great puffy clouds. Only, I don't have time to enjoy the natural wonders. I am tied to my body's needs. Its desire for the physical touch of _one_ person.

He opens the door, and immediately I can tell he's angry. His jaw is firm and uncompromising. My body is restless, and I'm afraid I'm gonna knock something over, so I just remain in the center of the room. I don't want to sit down on the couch either, because I'll probably get it dirty or something. Hatori's very particular about things. I don't want to interfere.

/

Seeing her in that state makes him frustrated. How could she do this to herself? Not care about her well-being for some guy? Basically, she's traded in her livelihood for a chance at this 'true love' concept. How could she be so dense?

He slides an envelope toward her, which she opens with surprise.

"What is this?"

"Your blood results."

"What does it mean?"

He doesn't respond. So she repeats her questions.

He utters back, "You'll live." His tone is completely devoid of emotion. In fact, when he first saw the results, he was so happy. There were no signs of long-term damage to her. That's why'd he'd offered to drive Yuki to Shigure's house. He had planned to tell her ASAP. She'd be so happy. But that moment did not arise. She was hysterical in her confession of profound love. And he didn't really want to be at the receiving end of her misplaced feelings for Yuki Sohma, someone who did not love her back romantically.

He still can't get over that.

And this is coupled with the fact that Akito is back. And if she finds out about this arrangement...

/

A/N: 1.30.2013 - (This chapter is kinda all over the place... grrrr) Thanks for reading, leave a comment! (if you do, you will receive the yummy strawberry cupcake from Hatori in your dream...) Hatori finds an 'excuse' to come over to see her. Tohru is more important Mayuko. Hehe.

Then he turns into a green-eyed monster called JEALOUSY.

Tsukiakage: Thanks girl! You've been great!

Phenylephrine: Hatori is dreamy, but as we shall see he has a really unhappy past. Love to read your comments. :)

Furuba-suzume: Thanks for the reminder.

Kouga's older woman: Thanks for your eternal support! I hope I never disappoint u!


	10. Chapter 10: Need You Like Water

**/ Enjoy!**

**I don't own Fruits Basket.**

**Chapter 10: Need You Like Water**

/

I'm not going back again. It's been twelve days since he gave me my blood results. _You'll live_. My head's been spinning since. I don't know what that _fucking_ means. I don't just want to _barely_ survive, tethered to some ticking machine in a hospital. I want to _live_ a good life with no regrets.

I feel like he wants me to suffer. He's so vague it's infuriating. His words burn me like acid.

He's made it clear that he dislikes me. And I will not resort to begging. So I've found some painkillers to assuage that splintering pain I feel in my head and the burning need between my legs. Kyo knows someone who knows someone. The yellow pill tastes bitter when the hot water I swallow it with melts it slightly on my tongue. It's probably not good for me, but it works. It lessens the need.

I'm in my room, pacing. I don't feel sleepy. I think it's a side effect of the pill. It doesn't alleviate my anxiety. My thoughts are still all over the place. I'm frantic and as jumpy as a rabbit. The dark circles under my eyes prove this.

Yuki's gone.

I didn't have the courage to say good-bye. I don't want it to be good-bye between us. I'll pretend that he's still at the estates. I don't really have much to live for. I'll never be in a loving relationship. No one will ever love me. I may love again, but I won't ever be able to tell that special someone. Instead, I'm stuck in this loveless, dysfunctional thing with a stony, insufferable doctor.

I jump when there's a knock at my door. I open it, and I'm totally shocked by who it is. Why is _he_ here?

"What are you doing here?" I ask with suspicion, looking up and down the hallway to see if there's a fire or something.

"Kyo told me."

Of course, someone had to tell him to come. He doesn't _care_. And he's here to scold me. Damn you Kyo for not being able to keep a secret!

"I'm fine." I don't need you.

He's studying me again. I hate it. The way he assesses me like I'm some medical experiment. Why can't he just accept the fact that I'm cursed! There's no easy cure!

"I'm sorry you had the misfortune of being on the receiving end of my curse!" I blurt out. I want him to leave. His presence is making the pain return. The _need_.

I back away.

/

He covers the distance between us in two long strides and grips my shoulders. "Listen to me Tohru. Stop using the pills."

"There's no other way." I'm shaking my head back and forth, like a crazy mental patient.

"I'm here."

I want to scream. No you're not! You were angry at me for some unknown reason. How can I trust that you're going to be there for me? I can't take this passiveness and the mood swings. It's so confusing to me!

"I think the pills will do." I whisper, not looking him directly in the eyes.

/

Hatori doesn't apologize. They are both as stubborn as mules. Hatori doesn't acknowledge that he was jealous. Tohru doesn't acknowledge that she needs him... bad.

Hence they are stuck.

Ten minutes pass before Hatori finally speaks up. "Just tell me what you need."

/

Everything that comes out of his mouth is detached and frosty. It makes me feel like a monster. I'm a repulsive idiot.

"I don't need you." I repeat, as if telling myself this over and over will make it true.

"Enough of this. I know you need me. And if you won't acknowledge it, I will not help you."

"Fine. I need you." Like I need water. Like I need to breathe.

/

That's enough for him. For now. What he said was a lie. Of course he'd help her. He can see that she's fading; she's losing the battle to herself. It pains him to see her hurt because sometimes she reminds him of Kana. It's been torture these past twelve days. He's been calling Kyo everyday to check on her status. He was too wounded to _see_ her. But he's here now. With a desperate call from Kyo who confesses that she's been using drugs. She'd told him to keep a secret. But afraid of her dying, he tells Hatori. Hatori was shocked to hear that she had started using painkillers. It just seems so out of character.

Her eyes reflect her desperation. The scratches along her arms reflect her self-torture.

The pills are only a bandage to a very deep wound.

The only real remedy is him. His touch. He knows this. That's why he's here. But this relationship, if you can call it that, is bringing his inner turmoil to the surface. He can't get close to her. Because that will involve _feelings_. That term has been foreign to him for years. He isn't about to open that locked box. It's weakness. It's hate. It's unbearable, gut-wrenching pain.

No amount of affection between them can cure him of the past. That is ingrained in him like a deep splinter.

He tugs her toward the bed so that she collapses over him. Her soft, yielding body is like a warm blanket over him. She's looking down at him with her big brown eyes. It's torturing him – this innocence, this misplaced fondness for him. She doesn't care about him. It's just her need. It's like Stockholm Syndrome.

He winces. He's comparing himself to being her captor. He can feel bile rising in his throat.

"I can't do this." He pushes her aside.

Her pride is wounded. She doesn't spare him another look. She gets up and moves to the adjacent bathroom. He can see her reflection in the mirror. She has the pills in her hands and she's debating with herself whether or not to take them.

He immediately gets out of bed. This isn't about him, dammit! She is dredging up all these memories for him, but he needs to get over it. He needs to help her, _save_ her. Maybe it's the only way he can truly accept himself again.

By saving her, he's saving himself.

He grabs the bottle away from her and stuffs it in his pocket. "No more."

She stomps her feet like an impetuous child. But doesn't verbally protest. He places his hands along her waist and brings her back to the bed again. He sits her down at the edge of the bed and takes his place beside her, close enough so that their thighs are touching. He places his warm hand on her thigh, and a flood of sensation pulses through her. _Don't start something you can't finish_. She wants to scream, but her mouth is too dry and her body is all too willing to find out.

He cups her cheeks in his warm, comforting hands that are slightly rough to the touch, and tilts her head up. He places a kiss on her lips which she accepts without hesitation. Her hands have a life of their own, and they settle on his back to hold him close. She doesn't want to lose his intoxicating closeness again. She doesn't want him to turn her away again. Maybe she can anchor him to her. His tongue strokes hers, and she feels whole again. At last, he pulls back, breathing heavily, watching her. Her eyes are still closed, as if she's trying to imprint this in her mind.

When she finally opens them, they are hooded with lust. When she sees the pure disbelief in his eyes, she looks down, ashamed. She's a beast. But he lifts her chin up, expressing that he doesn't want her to feel ashamed. A shy smile steals across her face for a second. She's content.

He searches her eyes, but this time it's not examining her, it's seeking permission for him to continue. As if he needs permission! She's about ready to pounce!

She says his name. The sound comes out low and needy and passionate, like a purr, and it arouses him. No woman has felt that way about him for years. It invigorates him. He's going to please her tonight. She needs it badly because it's been days. He's been keeping a log.

/

A/N: 1.31.2013 - I'm so mean to cut off right there!

Tsukiakage: Thanks girl!

Phenylephrine: Haha, more jealousy to come!

Devilwoman18: Thanks for your support! Older guys definitely have an appeal.


	11. Chapter 11: Union

/ Warning: Lemon.

**Chapter 11: Union**

/

He's tainted. But somehow, even after all this time, the little moans catching in her throat are affecting him, making him feel _alive_again. He's grateful. But he still feels old and dirty and selfish. He doesn't want to hurt her, this forbidden fruit. He's not sure he can be gentle, and caring, and sweet for her first time. And it's making him hesitant. Someone like Kyo, or Yuki would be more suited for this. Someone young, optimistic, with the ability to love.

She can feel his unease and she thinks it's because of her. Because she is inexperienced.

Being on the drugs has only made it worse. She's desperate for his touch, squirming beneath him. She doesn't want to _need_him, but it's too late for that now. He's her only way.

She can't stand it anymore. Her hands grasp his and place it over the cradle between her legs, the place that pulses with need for him. He immediately pulls away. He doesn't want this to be short-lived. He wants it to be a good memory for her.

Not a mistake.

He doesn't want to be a mistake. He tries to think of all the ways to satisfy a woman. Not that he has some large collection of techniques. It's uncharted territory for him too.

Shame floods her face and she looks away.

First, he unbuttons her lace camisole. His hands are shaking as he tries to undo the impossibly tiny flat discs. This is going to be the death of him, his usually deft, surgically-precise hands are like useless stumps. Her delicate fingers wrap about his to help him, teach him. Under her calm guidance, he quickly gets a hang of it. He is, after all, a fast learner.

When the row of buttons are all undone, he parts the fabric with agonizing slowness to reveal her pale-as-moon skin. But unlike the moon, it is unblemished - a blank slate, rising and falling quickly under his heated stare. He places his palms over the small heaving mounds, covering her modesty. The flesh is so soft as he caresses it. Seeing how sensitive she is, he brings his lips to her dark nipple, hovering over it. His breath whispers across the peaks. He places one hand on her breastbone to feel her pulse. It's racing, in anticipation of what he's about to do. He dusts small kisses on her skin before tracing the circumference of her areola with the tip of his tongue. She writhes underneath him, her small hands grasping the bed sheets. She still can't comprehend that this is actually happening. She's wanted it for weeks. She's felt nearly every emotion because of her _need -_desire, anguish, excitement, worry. It's finally happening. She's excited, but also afraid. _He's doing it out of duty_. A niggling little piece of her keeps saying. But she pushes that thought aside.

After giving both of her breasts equal loving attention, he kisses his way down to her hip. The skin there is very thin, and he can see a sprawling purple bruise. Her hip is protruding like a jagged edge. She must have hit it against a table or something. He's never paid much attention to her before, but seeing her this close - she is too thin. Almost sickly. More so since the last time he assessed her. She really needs to eat. Always preparing the most delicious food... but starving herself like this...

He kisses the near transparent skin of her hips, as if kissing it will heal the bruise. Then he hooks his fingers into her pajama bottoms and pulls them down. In tune with his action, Tohru lifts herself to ease the cloth down, down, past her legs, onto the floor with a soft sound.

He brings himself back up to her, holding himself above her, on his straining forearms. He doesn't want to ruin the moment by transforming into a seahorse.

His breath ghosts over the shell of her ear, sending shivers down her body. He's still clothed. And she brings her fingers to his waistline to lift the hem of his shirt. They struggle together, like two amateurs before finally removing the garment and tossing it into the growing pile at the foot of the bed.

Hatori breathes in deep before asking, "Are you sure about this?" His voice is low and hoarse in her ear. He can't look into her eyes, the windows to her soul. It's too much. He's giving her one more chance to back out of this arrangement. His heart is pounding wildly in his chest.

"Hai." Hearing her confirmation doesn't more for him that just tell him to proceed with their physical coupling. He's a confirmation that he's worthy. That he isn't just some spineless fool who gave up love for blood relations, that he was too weak. He isn't his past. He can be someone else. At least in this moment.

His eyes flicker to hers. Indeed, she's a lovely sight. She wants him. Her lips are red and moist, parted, waiting. He kisses them fervently, nipping her bottom lip to seek entrance into her hot mouth. She accepts him wholly. His hand moves between their warm bodies to the apex between her thighs. He slips his fingers between her slick folds. She's eagerly waiting for him, and he instantly grows hard.

"Tohru, this may hurt."

"It's okay." The pain she's suffered so far - the migraines, the numbness, the sharp pain, the long, throbbing agony between her legs - has been so bad. This can't be worse, can it?

"Wait." He gets off the bed, leaving her suddenly chill. He returns with a foil package. He tears it open quickly and fumbles with the condom. He's been carrying one around in his wallet since six days ago. It's him being prepared for some impromptu coupling with this little flower. He's known it was going to happen. But he's denied it.

Tohru lets out a content little sigh when she realizes he's not leaving. He parts her folds with his fingers and dips his middle finger inside. She's so tight. It's going to hurt her. He settles himself between her legs before aligning himself at her entrance and pressing his tip into her soft folds. Her body is resistant at first, but he persists. Slowly he moves inside. His cock is completely coated with her natural lubrication. When he hears her small whimpers of pain, he slants his mouth over hers to catch them all, swallowing her sounds. When he's completely within her, he pauses there, waiting for her to adjust. The sensation of her walls squeezing him is sheer pleasure; he could just stay buried here forever...

She is sated with the feeling of him inside her, the fullness, the _completeness_. There's a small tug inside her belly, as she reaches around his neck to hold him close to her. Her fingers are dancing through his hair, a small gesture with a great impact. He places his hand around both of her impossibly thin wrists above her head. He doesn't want her to interfere with his actions. He's going to lose it if she continues to touch him.

He holds her hips down firmly as he slowly removes himself from her. In protest, her short nails dig into his nape. He moves inside her, slowly at first to allow her to adjust to his bulk. His other hand trails down her body to touch her sensitive clit. He drags his thumb over the hard point, causing her to buck against him. The flushed expression on her face is one of pure lust, pure abandon. It contrasts her look moments, worry marking her face like a stamp.

She raises her hips aggressively to meet his when she feels her own pleasure building, savoring every thrust because she feels so full and complete. His finger is circling her clit. It feels so good. Her legs are spread, and now they are quaking. Soon, she feels her body go rigid, her head reaches forward to stifle a loud cry into his shoulder. As her body drifts back to Earth from her shattering orgasm, Hatori's is just starting.

His pace quickens and his breath grows ragged. His thrusts are no longer gentle, but rough. He needs this. And with a few more thrusts, he comes.

As he's shuddering from his release, he cries out huskily, "Kana!"

/

Her hands fall away from him after this brutal declaration. It's like a splash of ice water. He pulls himself away from her spent body. She turns her body away from his, feeling the chill of the night hair against her naked back. She doesn't want him to see the wetness forming in her eyes, blurring her vision. She knows he doesn't love her, but to scream another woman's name?

It breaks her.

/

A/N: 2.1.13 - Hatori needed it just as much as Tohru. Before he was just _surviving_, as Tohru had thought she was after her diagnosis. But now he's _living_again. Only problem: he called out the wrong girl's name! As we will see, Hatori has problems of his own - buried very deep.

Tsukiakage: Hehe, hopefully this chapter was worth the wait.

Haruhi-Fujioka1: Thanks for the encouragement! Yuki as a girl… haha!

Kouga's older woman: Thanks!

Please review!


	12. Chapter 12: Healing

FB spoiler alert: Akito's true identity if you don't already know.

I don't own Fruits Basket.

/

**Chapter 12: Healing**

**/**

Hatori's hand hovers over her shoulder. He wants to apologize, roll her back into his arms, but it isn't going to be enough. He doesn't even try to say anything. Instead, he turns on his side to kiss her shoulder lightly.

He gets out of the bed, dresses, and slips out of her room.

His pale face is ridden with indescribable emotion. He doesn't know what's happening to him, his heart his pounding heavily.

/

I feel odd. My body is completely sated, yet my mind is disappointed. I can't be mad at him, since I forced it upon him. He's not mine, but I still feel like he's been unfaithful. It hurts me deep down. But I try to think of the bright side. Maybe I can fill that void inside him. He misses Kana, who I've only heard about in passing. But I can see the shell of a man she's left behind. I never really thought about Hatori as a person since this all started. He was just someone I needed. But now I understand. He's not over her. In some twisted way, maybe I can fulfill that role, at least in the bed.

/

It's a week later. I'm still content. I've passed by Hatori a couple of times. He always avoids looking at me, but I don't mind. I just keep a cheerful expression. I understand the pain that he feels. He was, _is_ in love with her, but it's too late to do anything about it. I'm in the same situation. I love Yuki, but he doesn't love me back. And it's too late.

Maybe this is something I can get Hatori to open about. Maybe I can heal him the way he is healing me.

It's Friday. I've just finished work and I'm riding my bicycle to his house. When I arrive on his doorstep, I can see the glow of his lamp. I knock.

He opens the door. The expression he wears on his face is one of defeat. The dark circles under his eyes are like bruises. "Good evening, Tohru."

He moves aside to allow me to enter. He strides to his adjacent bedroom and turns on the lamp. I can't help but let out a soft chuckle. He thinks that's the only thing between us. Sex.

"I'm not here for that."

"Then what?"

"I want to talk and Shigure's having a boisterous party back at the house."

He walks back to his desk and takes a seat. His folds his hands in his lap stiffly and looks back at me expectantly, his solemn green eyes showing no sign of emotion.

I sit down on the opposite couch. "Please tell me about Kana." What made you this way? Tortured, broken, somber, misanthropic, wintry?

"What's there to tell? She was my girlfriend turned fiancée. When I sought Akito for permission, she told me to cut it off. Kana blamed herself to the point of making her self sick. I erased her memory so she wouldn't have to suffer. That's all."

He's so cold and devoid of emotion. I can't believe this man in front of me has ever _loved_.

He stares into my eyes wearily. It's as if he's aged in these passing moments. "Tohru, this is not something I would like to discuss right now."

I can tell dredging up this subject has brought him great pain. Despite his clinical, unfeeling words when he describes his past relationship, he's hurt, alone. It's festering inside him like a vicious parasite, wracking his soul, ripping it to shreds. No one knows what he's going through. No parents. No Shigure or Ayame. He was closed off to begin with, and after dealing with that tragedy, it only made him more emotionally barren.

I comfort him the only way I know how. I get up out of my seat and walk toward him. I wrap my arms around his body. I want him to know that someone cares. Someone needs him.

He's motionless. It's like I'm hugging a beautiful marble statue. When I finally release him, he looks up to me curiously. "What was that for?" His voice is soft and ragged, just a contrast to his physical presence - hard, sinewy.

"Everything you've done for me." It hits me like a ton of bricks. He's been great, and I've been ungrateful. He's been patient, kind, and gentle with me. _Saved me_. That's really all I can ask for. At least my "intended" isn't some abusive, selfish sex fiend. He's put everything on the table - he can't provide me any emotional connection. I know this upon entering this unspoken contract with him. He's been honest from the beginning.

My mom always told me to see the silver lining. I finally do. I'm thankful. I'm calm. I've accepted my fate.

As I turn to go back to my spot on the couch, his hand clasps my wrist to prevent me. "Don't go." His voice is barely above a whisper, and when I turn to look at him, his green eyes are glistening with the thinnest sheen of moisture. I blink. I'm not seeing things, right? Indeed, it's real. I've never seen him this way. His barriers are finally down.

I nod and he lets me go. I lean against his desk and watch him expectantly. I'm not sure what to expect now. A heartfelt confession of his undying love for Kana? I've always been a sucker for love stories.

"I've been very unkind and selfish toward you."

"What do you mean?" I respond with a slight frown. He's done everything for me.

"I can not excuse my poor behavior, but I'd like to at least offer you an explanation." He sighs deeply before continuing, "You remind me of her. Every since the first time you answered 'Spring' when I asked you "When snow melts, what does it become?" You gave the same response as her. No one's given me that answer before. It's like Cinderella's shoe. No one else 'fits.' I've always felt drawn to you."

On one hand, I feel elated that I can break past his ice cold exterior, but on the other hand, it feel weird to be compared to someone in his past, someone he once loved. I'm at an impasse. The devil inside me puts dark thoughts into my head. It's the same source that tells me I'm worthless and alone. Many times at night, I succumb to it. I wake up from a nightmare, sweaty and breathing heavily, salty tears trailing into my mouth. _He is continuing this with you because you are his rebound_. He doesn't care about you. You've been on your own since your mother died. Relying on someone has only made you hurt because they can never live up to your expectations. _ Trust no one_.

I shut my eyes to stop that evil voice. "Where is she now?"

"Married."

"If she wasn't, or you found out she had doubts about her marriage, would you pursue her?"

He doesn't respond immediately, so I know his answer. _Yes_. He loves her. He'd do anything for her, even giving up his own happiness for her safety. But now he lives with regrets and a whole closet full of 'what-ifs.'

Inside, I cringe. I really shouldn't involve myself in his past. I should just take our physical relationship at face value. It's what he has to offer. Not a shoulder to cry on. Not an ear to lend. Not a mouth to comfort my fears with gentle, soothing words.

But why do I wish I could have more from him?

Am I starting to feel something for my green-eyed savior that isn't based on just purely physical need?

/

A/N: 2.03.13 - Random question: How would you feel if you found out that you looked -_exactly_- like the girl your boyfriend dated before?

Is it pity Tohru feels for Hatori, or something more? Her physical needs are still in check at this point, so what she feels...hmm-mmm... is it sincere?

Tsukiakage: Hatori hasn't been with a woman for years. Please excuse his awful behavior. Haha. Thanks!

Miaboo011: I can't believe him either!

Phenylephrine: Who is your internet provider? I will avoid them! Tohru was shocked and very sad, but she's trying to be bright and cheerful because she can't expect anything more than his physical touch. -sniffles- Hatori, you cold meanie! When will the ice around your heart melt?

Kouga's older woman: Thanks my dear!

MissyMadness: Haha, your review made me laugh. More lemons to come, I promise.

Haruhi-Fujioka: LOVE U!

REVIEW!


	13. Chapter 13: Spilled Truths

**/ **Enjoy!

**Chapter 13: Spilled Truths **

/

We sit in companionable silence for some time, with only the sound of his wall clock ticking. I hate that ticking sound. It makes me feel anxious. He senses my jitters and tells me to go to the bedroom. "I have a TV that I haven't used in two years. I can set it up if you'd like."

I can't believe he hasn't pushed me away yet. He's really making an effort, and it makes me feel all warm inside. I follow him into the bedroom. He fiddles behind the TV, and within two minutes the TV is working.

He searches inside a box and finds the remote which he hands over to me. So organized and efficient.

I sit down at the foot of the bed. I don't want to sit on his perfectly made bed. I don't deserve that spot.

He eyes me with a quirk of his eyebrow. "Why are you sitting on the ground?"

"Uh." That's all I can muster. I don't really want to explain to him my reasoning. It doesn't sound good in words. "Is it all right if I pull in a chair?"

"Just sit on the bed."

"But-"

"No buts. You've been there before. Remember?" His voice has a light edge to it. I'm still learning how to tell if it's joking or serious. But I pretty sure he's joking right now. I blush.

He reaches a hand out to hoist me up. I accept it. I crawl on top of his bed and flop on my stomach. I place my head at the crux of my folded arms. "Thank you Hatori."

He nods before returning to the other room.

After one episode of an angsty drama, I feel tired. Like I'm as drained as the female protagonist after she sees her supposed boyfriend kissing another girl. I'm just going to take a quick nap. Hatori will wake me up when he's ready for me to leave.

/

I wake up, startled by the call of a rooster. I've never heard an alarm like that before. Did I set that up in my sleep? I look around. This isn't my room! And that was a real rooster cry. OMG. I jump out, realizing that I've spent the night in Hatori's bed. Where is he?

I go outside and find him at his desk, alert, and scribbling something. The wall clock reads 7:04. "Where did you sleep?" I ask.

He points to the couch, where there is a neatly folded blanket. I've overstayed my welcome and hijacked his bed! Ai-yah!

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take your bed, I thought I was just taking a quick nap, I didn't know it was going to turn into 8 hours!"

"No problem."

"I'll get going now." I reply hastily. I grab my sweater and rush out the door.

"Tohru, do you need a ride?"

"It's alright. The bike ride is only 15 minutes."

He shrugs and waves me off. When I arrive home, I immediately rush to my room. When I see my reflection in the mirror, I'm shocked my how frightening I look. My hair looks like it's been through a wind tunnel. And the dark circles under my eyes...! I take a quick shower before going downstairs to prepare breakfast.

The living room and kitchen are a mess. Shigure and his unruly guests have snacks scattered all over the furniture and ground. There is a pink bra squished between the sofa cushions and another black bra lying on the TV. What happened while I was gone? I don't even want to know. This makes me think. Shigure and Hatori are both cursed, but they've handled it in very different ways. Against all odds, Shigure continues his life like an ordinary person (as ordinary as _he_ can get, mind you) - girlfriends, friends, parties. He's your average wealthy playboy. Hatori, on the other hand, has let it handicap him. He's a victim of the curse. He's let it dictate his life.

If it had been Shigure in love with Kana, would he have let her go?

I guess it also reflects their vastly different pasts and personalities.

I lift the bras with a pair of disposable chopsticks. As I'm walking down the hall, past Shigure's room, to the garage to get some plastic bags, I spot several other unmentionables. I pick these up and put them into the bags. Next time his girl friends come over, they can pick up their under-things. As I pass Shigure's room, I notice that the door is halfway open. It's rude to spy, but if he has guests, they are probably eager to have a good, hearty breakfast after their rowdy night.

I see that he is alone, half-naked on the ground, a sheet wrapped around his lower half.

I shake my head in dismay and open the door wider. I move closer to him and kneel down to assess the damage. He's fine, except for some scratches on his back. And there are some Sharpie doodles along his torso.

I shake him slightly. He has an expo event to attend this afternoon. At this rate, he's going to need a lot of prepping before he looks like his good-looking self.

He moans. I poke him again, and he takes a sleepy zombie swipe of his hands, smacking my thighs hard.

"Shigure." I say firmly. This rouses him from his sleep. He looks up at me. "Huh?"

"It's time to get up. You are a mess and you have an expo to go to this afternoon."

"I don't feel so good." And then he vomits nearby. Now he _has_ to get up.

I help him up into a chair. "Wait here. I'll call Hatori."

I dial the number I've memorized by heart. "Hatori Sohma speaking."

"Hatori, it's me, Tohru. Shigure has a hangover and not feeling well. Can you please come over to take a look?"

"I'm on my way."

Less than ten minutes later, he's helping Shigure into the bed and doing the basic checkups. "If I had checked your blood alcohol content today, I'm sure it would have been past the limit. Probably triple of the limit. Shigure, you are not in college anymore. You have to take better care of yourself. You only have one life."

"Tohru can you get a glass of water for him?"

I hurry out to get water. When I return, I hand the glass to Shigure. As I'm retreating, he grabs a hold of my wrist and pulls me atop him. I'm sprawled across his chest like a bird, my legs flailing. His grasp loosens so that it's not cutting off circulation, but doesn't break. I can smell the pungent alcohol assault my senses.

He says, slurred, "If I had a wifey like Tohru, I wouldn't be drinking my woes away."

Hatori hauls me off Shigure immediately. He gives Shigure a chastising glare. His voice is low and precise, with an undercurrent of antagonism. "If you cleaned up your act and actually tried to find someone appropriate, I'm sure you could. But hanging out with random women you find in clubs and at your book signings is not going to help you."

In this state, he's more talkative that usual. "Why don't you find someone Tori-san? We're both getting old and we're still bachelors. All my friends are either married or in long term committed relationships. Maybe we should go out to a bar together and find a pair of girls. Or maybe I should try out online dating, that way, I can put all my requirements there. I don't really have that many. She just has to have gorgeous legs." Shigure's eyes wander to my legs. I'm still wearing my rather short pajama bottoms, and I feel self-conscious. I cross my legs because they are shaking so bad.

Hatori shakes his head as if to say Shigure is a lost cause. He moves in front of me, his black slacks pervading Shigure's line of vision. Shigure pouts and flips his head away.

Hatori is so serious, even when talking to a drunken Shigure. I find it... funny. Since when has he become a source of entertainment? At movie night... the way he ate...

"Give him some time to sleep it off. That's the only thing we can do right now. He had a lot to drink last night, the immature frat boy wannabe. I'll help you prep him for the expo. I've been doing it since we were young."

"Hey, I'm still here!" Shigure calls out from the bed, waving his hands in the air like a composer.

Hatori ushers me out. "I advise you to avoid him until he's back to _normal_. He may do something he regrets."

I don't really know what he means by that. Shigure's never been violent. He can't even kill a spider. I always have to do it.

We move to the kitchen. Hatori takes a seat at the counter while I start taking ingredients out of the fridge and cabinets. "Any special request for breakfast?"

"Anything by you."

His compliment warms me. "Yam porridge. And I'll start up making some chicken broth for Shigure."

"Sounds good."

/

She's too kind. I wonder if Shigure appreciates her?

/

I notice from the calendar on the refrigerator that tomorrow is Momiji's birthday! Maybe Hatori can help me bake a cake for him.

"Hatori, are you up for a baking adventure?"

/

A/N: 2.08.13 – Up next, homage to Hatori's Remedy: Strawberries and Skinny-Dipping!

Thanks Kouga's Older Woman, miaboo011 (totally agree!), Tsukiakage (agree too!), Haruhi-Fujioka1, Phenylephrine, and mcangel1976!


	14. Chapter 14: Secrets

/ Enjoy!

**Chapter 14: Secrets**

/

"Like this?" Hatori asks. He has the hand mixer on the lowest setting, and it's barely skimming the surface of the eggs.

"Not quite. Beat them until they form stiff white peaks. Tilt the bowl to one side if you need to." My voice is loud to travel over the sound of the mixer. It's so funny to see his ineptitude in the kitchen. It's clear to me he has never used, or even _seen_ some of the equipment. He was previously holding the hand mixer like a gun. It brings him down from the mighty pedestal I've put him on. Just a millimeter.

"Ooo, sounds like some kinky S&M." Shigure's voice drifts from his bedroom.

"Quiet, Shigure!" Hatori shouts, shaking his head in disgrace. He walks to Shigure's room and closes the door. "Excuse that eavesdropping, drunken fiend." He says to me with a quirk of his lips. There is a loud emphasis on the word 'eavesdropping'. I assume that's his form of a smile. I quite like it. I notice a little snaggletooth. I want to squeal. It's cute. And I've stored that smile in a folder in my brain labeled 'My Unpredictable Savior.'

"Good work, there are the stiff peaks." I point out.

Hatori nods his head in agreement. "Interesting. I did not know eggs had the capability of transformation."

"There's a lot that eggs can do. Their taste can change – from a breakfast fried egg to dessert custard to meringue, you name it!"

"So where did you learn all your cooking skills, Tohru?"

"My mom. She didn't know how when she was my age. But when she married my dad, she wanted to be the best wife, and she learned. She followed a new recipe everyday for a year before she started inventing her own stuff. She and I always had weekend cooking experiments. They weren't always successful, but always fun."

/

Hatori could see the joy in Tohru's eyes when she spoke of her mom. It made him feel melancholy. Here was a bright, loving, good girl who did nothing wrong, yet lost both of her parents. How was the world _fair_?

/

"It's starting to smell delicious. Strawberry." Hatori said, as they sat side by side at the kitchen counter.

"Yes." Tohru said, glowingly. "Momiji's allergic to milk, so we are going to pour on a strawberry glaze tomorrow."

"As his doctor, I had to witness his reaction when he was a poor baby." Hatori said with a small shudder.

"Did you see most of the younger generation grow up?"

"Not really. Most were sheltered before the age of twelve, just playing amongst each other. Their parents thought we were too jaded. But eventually kids get out. Now we see each other quite frequently. And thanks to you."

Tohru reddened at the compliment.

_Beep, beep_.

/

"It's done!" I shout eager to get out of his dark gaze. It was starting to make me feel all fuzzy, like I couldn't think straight. He has that way of getting underneath my skin so that I can't think about anything but him. He doesn't even need to try. It's his whole aura.

I put on the oven mitts and bring out the spongy pink-hued cake.

"It's so perfect. But we've got to hide it from Shigure. It would be just like him to take a chunk out." Hatori whispers with an air of secrecy, as if plotting some great exploit.

I start to panic. There's the fridge in the garage. I know he doesn't go there. He thinks it's where I hide the mystery meat I cook up."

"Great."

I feel like we've somehow bounded, over this small secret, even though we are harboring a much greater secret.

"So, the party is being organized by Kisa and a very eager Momo. They're going to have it by the lake on the estates in the afternoon. Akito found out about it several days ago and wants to go, so I won't be able to attend, but at least I'm involved. I'm going to drop off the cake and glaze at 10. She will unknowingly be eating a cake I prepared."

/

Hatori's fists clench. The first interference by Akito since their 'involvement.' _This doesn't bode well, he thought to himself. Akito always had a way of finding out about things, it's like she has hidden cameras and voice recorders everywhere. Tohru and I really have to be careful._

"Listen, Tohru. You have to be careful. No more coming to my office when you need me. We'll find somewhere else. Give me some time to think about it. We can't have Akito finding out. Call or text my cell phone."

Tohru nods. Her face is drawn of color as she realizes the impact that Akito is back.

Hatori thinks deeply about all the options. Shigure's house? It'll be risky, but discovery is the least damaging. The estate is out of the question. The vacation house…?

/

It's late afternoon and I'm sitting at Shigure's home alone. I hope everyone is enjoying themselves at the party. I miss them, even though we had a get-together not too long ago. Hatori was assigned to supervise them. I can imagine the bored look on his face. This brings a little laugh out of me. He has limited facial expressions. I think I know them all.

Stoic.

Worried/ticked off/impatient (usually with Shigure's antics but also when he arrived at the camp to save me).

Passionate. I've seen this once so far. It was dark, but I could make out the tightening of his brow, and the clenching of his jaw. It made my heart race.

Funny how he only has two extremes. There's no in-between for him. Same with our relationship. He's either satisfying my primal needs or barely acknowledging me. I have to be the insistent one. It's okay with me though. He's like the stray puppy my mom rescued when I was six. At first we thought it was an indifferent creature. But then we found out that it was afraid of us, he would jump if we pet him with him seeing us first. We realized that he had been terribly abused and that he feared us, believed that we would harm him. But with enough love and nurture, he became a happy puppy. He'd always greet me when I returned from school and snuggle near my feet when I fell asleep.

I hope Hatori will eventually reconcile with his past and become a happier person.

I'm sure he wasn't always like this. He wasn't born dour and self-sacrificing. At some point in his life, he must have had dreams, aspirations, selfish needs? How did Kana make him _care_? I find myself feeling somewhat jealous and angry when I think of her. She was his first love, and maybe his last. Even if it was against her own wishes, she gets to move on with her life. He doesn't.

I've always been the type to take on heavy emotional burdens. I can't help it. I feel like I'm a part of it all. From watching an angst-ridden, tear-inducing drama and feeling I'm the female character who has her heart ripped apart to bearing the emotional burden of Arisa and her ill-fated romance with Kureno. I'm a sponge for this kind of stuff.

I hear the doorbell ring downstairs. Shigure's not supposed to be back yet...?

I go downstairs to see who the unexpected guest is. It's Hatori. I take a deep breath and open the door.

"Hi Hatori."

"Hello."

He's fidgeting on the spot, holding a plastic wrapped glass bowl. He looks like a high school student with a crush. This thought makes me smile.

"I brought you some leftover cake. Kisa wanted me to bring it over."

Why can't he ever just say it was of his own will? He always tries to distance himself from me when he feels like we've gotten too close.

"Tell her thanks. Do you want to come in for something to drink? It's really hot out. You could get dehydrated."

"Hai, thank you."

He steps in and removes his shoes. His feet are clad in thick black socks. Go figure. This is really a case of _cold feet_...

I hear the soft pad of his feet against the wood as he follows me into the kitchen.

"How was the party?"

"It went smoothly. But they kept hinting that someone was missing. But I don't think Akito caught on that it was you."

I smile genuinely back at him. "How would you like some fresh watermelon juice."

"That would be great, thank you."

I take out the blender from the lower cabinet and take out a hefty watermelon from the refrigerator. I slice the thick-skinned melon, but now the knife is stuck in the rind like Excalibur. Seeing my frustration, he comes around the counter to help me. With an easy flick of his wrist, he's splices the fruit in half. "I'll do the rest."

I go to his seat and watch him. I recant my previous words that he was unskilled in the kitchen. He perfectly adept at using a knife. I imagine it's from his medical school training at a much more meticulous level. He partitions the melon into equal sized pieces. It makes my mouth water just watching him. I should always call him over when we have watermelon because Shigure is horrid at cutting, and I'm no better. He chops them up into the non-bite size chunks, many of which look like they've had a bite taken out of them.

After he cuts up the whole watermelon and we place them into the bowls, he picks up the rinds and eats the parts that are too close to the white layer. It reminds me of something my mom used to do. She'd always eat the "bad" or "neglected" parts of the fruit, and give me the best part. Like an apple. She'd eat the core and I'd eat everything around it. The fine details of love. After breaking out of my wistful memory, I join him. He looks back at me curiously.

/

A/N: 2.08.13 - Evil Akito! Tohru is really paying attention to Hatori!

You guys are adorable! It makes my heart aflutter when I hear that some of you were checking your inboxes!


	15. Chapter 15: Fissure

Chapter is dedicated to Devilwoman18! Congratulations dear!

Enjoy! Warning: lemon!

**/**

**Chapter 15: Fissure**

/

It is a week later when Tohru feels the swelling need again. She remembers his words and texts him a short message.

_Need you_.

Luckily, Shigure would not be here tonight. In fact, he'd be gone the whole weekend. Tohru blushs. _It_ will probably happen here. In her room. She looks over to her unmade bed. _Preparations_.

Hatori hears the familiar beep of his cell phone. He looks down to see her short text. He picks up his car keys and dashes to his car. He doesn't recognize the little skip of his heartbeat.

She's sitting on the porch staring off into the night sky when he pulls up to the house. Her hair is blowing all around her, like a wispy halo.

"Come on." He whispers in the dark, bringing her out of her haze.

He ushers her into the house with his hand on the small of her back. Even such an innocent touch like that has her melting to the contact. Meanwhile, Hatori is the epitome of composure, remoteness, like the distant stars.

/

With my back facing him, I begin to undress. I'm not modest when I'm like this. I can't wait to get rid of my clothes so I can feel the tantalizing warmth of his skin on me. When I'm done, I turn around to him. He's unbuttoning his shirt, too slowly. I reach for him to help him, starting from the bottom of the endless row. When we meet in the middle, his hand grasps mine and caresses my palm soothingly with his thumb. I close my eyes and tilt back my head, biting my lip so that I don't make a sound. I'm losing it. Something as chaste as touching my hand arouses me. I can feel my core flood with moisture. I only hope it doesn't seep through my underwear onto my bed sheets. It won't be the first time.

He catches me before I lose my balance and fall, and carries me over to the bed. He places me lightly on the cool covers and positions himself over me. While staring intently at my face, he unbuttons his pants with one hand and unzips himself. With a kick of his legs, his pants are gone and I can feel the hairs on his legs tickle the length of mine. I wrap my leg around his waist urgently. I need him now. The intimate contact of his skin against mine isn't enough. I need him closer, _inside_ -

I am blinded by my all-consuming lust.

/

Feeling the addition of her heels digging into his ass, encourages him. His heart is speeding as her fingers run up his back, across his sharp shoulder blades, to his neck when she laces her fingers in his impossibly soft hair. _No one's touched him in years_. She drags his head down to her meet her soft lips where he plummets his tongue into her heated fissure of lust, passion, and impatience. Her kiss is demanding, feverish, and intense, and he responds in kind. It awakens the feral feeling inside him, and he feels himself harden to the point of pain, in anticipation.

"_Now_." The softest, anguished moan bubbles up from within her.

Hatori settles himself between her quivering legs. There is an indescribable feeling of _belonging_, even though it is only their second time together.

He lines himself, hard and prime, at her entrance, and before she can protest again, he thrusts into her, hard. Her tight, wet core is completely yielding, and he buries himself to the hilt. She feels no pain. As he moves inside her, she finds herself on the edge of pleasure again. Every stroke touches her deeply, rubs against her sensitive nerves, extracting the deepest, buried yearning for _him_. She's a slave to sensation. It's always so close when he's near; she wishes she could hold out longer. She keeps her hips glued to the bed instead of meeting his, knowing she will lose it if she twists or writhes.

Despite the hardness of his penetration, he cups her flushed cheek with a lingering gentleness. This contrast drives her wild. His thumb caresses the bottom of her full, bitten-red lip, easing her, insisting that she not to bite it. She angles her face into his touch, but he pulls away. She doesn't deliberate over the reasons why he refuses to react when she wants him to, as she normally would. She's moments away from sweet bliss that will bring her to the heights of shattering pleasure.

He can feel her tense underneath him, and see her scrunching her face – eyes closed, wrinkles lining her smooth alabaster forehead in concentration. He's not sure why she's holding back. But he tells himself she must come first, before him. _Soon_, because he can't hold back.

His lips are against her forehead, placing the faintest kiss in the center. It's like he's breaking her from a spell when he utters the soft, lone word, "Come."

"I ca-can't." She whimpers back raggedly. What she means is: _I don't want to. I don't want to lose this sensation. You. I want to last a little longer_.

He stares at her, incredulous. Why is she holding back her pleasure, isn't that what this is all about, prompt physical need? Frustrated with her stubbornness, he reaches down to her clit. Instant gratification. He rubs the small, hard nub, and she can't help it. She grinds herself on his finger, moving in fast, sloppy movements that bring the most friction. Her pleasure is torn out of her, a quick succession of helpless cries gush out of her. As she rides the wave of searing pleasure that renders her speechless, she clings to him like he's the last pillar in a desert storm. His pleasure is right behind hers, that tightening in his lower half, centralized in one place; his face looses its veil of impassivity. It's vulnerable. He's surges into her until –

He pulls out. A warm rush of fluid surges out, onto her stomach. _Fuck_!

In all his haste, he's forgotten.

/

I was about to reach up to kiss his clean shaven cheek, but I remember. I have a role. I'm not his loved one and these sweet affections I yearn for… it's not my place to force them. He pulled away when I wanted more of his touch. He doesn't like it when I initiate. He's helping _me_. And the least I can do is honor his basic requirement: solitude. I shouldn't touch him more than is required. And I don't want to feel an emotional attachment. I have to stop those feelings, cauterize them.

As I move off the bed, his hand suddenly strikes out, claiming my wrist possessively. I stop and look back. I can't see his eyes in the dark, but my mind is swirling with confusion. I'm sure my face has colored with shame. And he is a mask of formality laced with disgust.

"We can't forget. Outside the bedroom, we are near strangers. Enough people know about us, and we don't want it to spread." His tone is gravelly. Do I detect a trace of anger? Why is he so angry?

I try to keep the icy bitterness out of my tone. He is just fulfilling a dangerous duty, I know. But why does he have to remind me that my body is governed anarchy? Why can't he just let me dwell in the ecstasy for a bit? I blink back tears I know he can't see. I swallow hard. "Yes, I understand." I just wish he felt something for me, even a flicker, because I can't help myself... It's been nearly two months since this all started and I think, _I think_, I'm…. falling in love. Maybe it's misplaced. Maybe it's the potion. But when I'm in his arms, I want to be no where else. I feel like I'm _his_. _Safe_. Life is uncomplicated for a while. But it's a precipice. Once it's over, I fall, _plummet_ back to reality.

Now, it's silent. I manage to get out of his tight grasp, grab my linen shirt, and go to the bathroom. I close the door soundlessly and crumple to the ground. The coldness of the tiles permeates my damp underwear, but I don't care. I can't stand or think straight. He does this to me. Make my heart beat erratically too. And it's not just when I'm _needy_.

Because I'm alone now, I let the burning tears fall. His words echo in my mind.

_Strangers_.

/

Hatori's lips are drawn into a thin, tense line. It's difficult for him. There are these strange feelings spinning inside him like a cyclone. He has to push her away before he gets caught up in the emotion. When he's with her, he feels his control unravel like a loose thread. He's already gotten so used to living in darkness; he can't fathom seeing the light. It's too blinding. It's too complicated.

Maybe because he's afraid.

/

He always does this. Disappear.

And I can't sleep.

/

I hear a knock against my window. It must be the wind, I tell myself. But it continues. With a growl, I get up and stalk over to the window. I make out the shadowy figure of Hatori Sohma. He points at the front door.

"What?" I ask, trying to curb my annoyance.

Once again, he ushers me into the house. He looks around stealthily, as if someone is hiding in the shadows. As if anyone would be up in the dead of night, just to play a prank on him! He leads me to the kitchen where he puts out his hand that has a singular yellow pill. It looks like the painkillers I was taking several weeks ago. Wait, he's not mad at me, is he? He's not pushing me back to the painkillers, not after he told me that I wouldn't have to resort to that anymore. My face turns ghost white.

"Take this." He says, woodenly.

I do as he says. It's useless for me to argue.

/

A/N: 2.12.2013 – Things are not as they seem. Any guesses?

Tsukiakage: Thankies!

Devilwoman18: OMG, AWWW! You are so busy. Are you turning into a bridezilla or keeping it calm? I have this crazy obsession with weddings. :) Do you have a theme? Have you picked out a dress? How did he propose? Omg,omg,omg!

Haruhi-Fujioka1: Hehe, thanks!


	16. Chapter 16: Distance

**Chapter 16: Distance**

**/**

It's painful. _My second time_. The bliss literally dies after I see his stoic face and his open palm with the yellow pill. The fireworks in my head fizzle out. His face is a black canvas. I literally want to find a red Sharpie and scribble all over his face, give him emotion. Make him show something. It meant so much to me. How could it be _nothing_ to you? I'm afraid to say anything, show anything, for fear of unleashing his repress wrath. I'm frustrated too! You don't understand how much I hate myself for being unable to control my desire.

I thought that things were good between us. But now I realize that the potion must have blurred my thinking too because it's clear you feel nothing. Maybe I should hide my emotions like you. I shouldn't make a sound, act like a lifeless doll. Only I can't. I'm young and under the control of a lust potion. I can't help voicing my desires and acting upon them. I'm sure I'm in a worse position than him. I lost my virginity to a goddamn potion and not my own volition! I've lost my treasure that I promised I'd keep until -

I've lost everything. _My mind, if I ever thought he could even like me. _

I wish he'd understand.

I'm not some depraved woman. It's the potion.

On one hand he doesn't want me to use the pills; he tells me to _come_ in the most dulcet tone. On the other hand he acts like a rock. And he feeds me the pill! He is a walking contradiction! What am I supposed to do?

I huff and quickly grab the covers to cover my naked body. _Too late_. He's gone. There is not shame to hide from. It's warm outside, but I feel cold. Alone.

Before the tears can dry on my pillow, I fall into a tired, fitful sleep, deliberating on what I did wrong.

/

It's Saturday. It's super humid today, despite it being quite early in the morning. Every time I wipe away the sweat over my upper lip, it returns like an inexhaustible mist. I'm waiting at the bus stop closest to Shigure's house, which is still a 30 minute walk away.

I have dark circles under my eyes, but I don't really care. I mean, who will see me? I'm like a ghost. No one notices me.

On the bus ride to the cemetery, I hold the basket of vegetables close to my chest.

It's at the end of the bus route. The bus driver reminds me that the next bus is at 1 PM. That's alright by me. I have nothing else to occupy my time with. The cemetery is at the edge of town. It's on a hill overlooking the city. I'm sure if the land hadn't been allocated for a cemetery a century ago, some wealthy businessman would build his mansion here. It's beautiful despite the sorrow associated with it. There are several marble mausoleums and the rest are lined like sentinels in neat rows. Each a precise distance from the other. Any direction I look, I can only see the closest one. The rest are hidden from my view. My feet drag my heavy as lead body in the direction of my mom's tomb. Being here doesn't bring me tears anymore. I feel stasis, numbness, acceptance that a little part of me has died.

I don't know why I'm here the day after the chaos with Hatori.

I come here to numb my pain.

To realize that my pain is nothing compared to those who are dead. Those who have had there lives torn away from them.

When I was nine, I went with my mom to visit the columbarium to pay respect to my mother's dead sister. I recall seeing her urn that had lots of colorful trinkets scattered around it. Being at that curious age, I went to get a closer look at the little ornaments. I was confused when I saw a dusty photo of a young girl and various beaded bracelets and a child's drawing of two girls in a meadow. I looked up at my mom with questioning eyes. What was the meaning of this?

"She died when she was seven." My mom completed the holes in my thoughts.

I didn't understand. I thought people only died when they were "old." Did that mean I was old? Would I die soon?

That was when I first learned about death.

But soon, it would hit closer to me.

/

I kneel at the base of the tomb and place remove the items from the basket. My actions are slow and deliberate. I put her favorite, lotus root, in the center, closest to her. Lotus flowers were her favorite, but I couldn't find any without trespassing. Every part of lotus could be used in some way from the seeds, to the stamen, to the roots. She said it was its beauty – sprouting from muddy waters – that caught her interest, and ultimate, love. It was a small pond that my father brought her to, where he proposed. I still have the photo of them with the purple and pink lotus flowers in the background. Its edges are frayed, and the picture covered with swirled fingerprints because of how many times I've looked at it. Pure, innocent love.

The flower is just like her, I've come to realize.

No matter how bad life got, she always showed me her best side. Despite my father's death, she rose from the muddled darkness. She did everything for me. The loved me without holding back.

"I'm sorry." The words spill out of my mouth. _I've ruined myself. And I can't erase it._

It's the first time a tear trails down my face in the past two years I've been here.

As if on cue, the sun shifts to hide behind a cloud. _Just my luck_.

I check my watch, it says 10 am. Time zooms by when I'm here. Today I've gotten a lot off my chest. And now I've let the numbness settle in.

I wander to the edge of the hill, away from the city. I've never come over here before. It's quite steep and covered with dark soil, freshly turned. I make my care down carefully, but my sandal catches on a gnarled root, and before I can untangle myself, I lose my balance and tumble to the dirt. It's not as a soft as it looks, and I don't exactly brace myself for the fall. It's painful, and I think I hear a crack. Everything's happening too fast. As if that's not enough, I can't catch a break and I roll down the hill like some stunt in a movie. Luckily there isn't anything at the base of the hill, and I simply come to a halt.

I pick myself up and wipe the grass and the dirt off my body as best as I can without a mirror. I can see several cuts on my body. There is a bloody cut on my knee. Ouch! I search in my purse for something to staunch the blood. I have my handy tissues and hold tightly against the wound.

I hobble over to the shade offered by a large tree. I look around and see an abundant garden. There is a low fence made of bamboo and rope. The garden is beautiful- there are bursts of orange zucchini blossoms, pea shoot vines snaking up wooden stakes, and the tell-tale sign of root vegetables with there little green heads peaking out of the dirt. It's a gardener's paradise. I look around for signs of an owner. There's a small cabin tucked behind columns of sprightly young trees. Maybe it's the cemetery caretaker's home. I hope the owner doesn't mind if I explore this little piece of heaven for a bit.

As I crouch down to examine the smaller plants, I hear a slight squeaking sound. I carefully comb the moist soil for the source until my eyes land of the wiggling grey form of mouse caught in a trap. I've never handled a mouse trap before, but I'm sure I can free it. I carefully pinch the edges of the wooden base, so as to not touch the metal contraption or hurt the mouse even more, and lift the trap away. Now there's a dilemma. I don't want the owner's hard work to go to waste because of a little nuisance, but I also don't want to hurt the little creature. He/she just needs to find sustenance elsewhere. I carry my small acquaintance as far away as possible, until I meet a road. I look in both directions before crossing.

It's hot, but I'm much cooler in the shade of this lush forest. I sit on a rock and take a rest.

The sound of a babbling creek draws me to the right. The sound grows louder until I finally meet a stream. I find a part of it that the water is at the lowest point, with a series of stones that I can step across. Careful not slip and land on my butt in the water, I make my way across and kneel down to free the mouse. It tramples away quickly before I can even say good-bye.

I head back to the garden. There is a bald older man with a grumpy look on his face and his arms akimbo.

"What are you doing here? This is private property."

Oh great, just what I need. I had told myself I wouldn't get into any trespassing trouble to get a lotus flower for my mom, and look at me now. Caught! Red-handed. Looking like a common thief with dirt all over my knees and grass stains.

"What are you doing with my mouse trap?"

"I just went to free it over there, beyond the creek." I say with a quiver in my voice, pointing in the direction where I came.

He gives me a puzzling look, as if he's contemplating my motives. After a while, he shakes his head and mutters. "Anyone who's willing to walk two miles to free a mouse can't be any harm." He walks away and disappears into his cabin. I sigh in relief before settling the closed trap where I found it.

His gruff voice startles me. He has a paper bag in his hand. "Please, take all the vegetables you want as thanks for your deed."

What a turn of events! I can't stop bowing to him to the point where he starts to blush. "Please."

He returns back to the house, leaving me to thoroughly explore his massive garden without any fear this time. There is an hour left before I have to go to the bus stop.

I start to pick a little of each. There are these mini crimson strawberries that are super sweet. There are some root vegetables I don't recognize, and I'm not sure if they are ripe yet, so I leave them in the ground. I've heard of gourmet recipes that used zucchini blossoms, so I pick two for my future foody experiment. Lastly, I can't forget the ubiquitous green onion.

I knock on his door to give my final gratitude and he nods politely.

I hurry to the bus stop with fifteen minutes to spare and look through my earthly treasures. I come to a place of depressing death and mourning, yet leave with tokens of life and growth. That must really mean something.

When I finally plant myself into a hard, but welcome seat in the back of the bus, sleep catches me. I've been running a futile race from it. My eyelids are heavy, falling, falling until darkness envelops me.

/

"Miss? Miss?" The unfamiliar voice echoes in my mind.

I wake up and look around. The bus is empty and I can see the bus driver looking into his rear view mirror at me. "This is the final stop of route 14. It's going to switch over the route 21 to downtown."

Aiyah! I'm two bus stops away from where I'm suppose to be! It's going to take an hour to walk back!

"Ah, sorry. Thank you for letting me know."

With my vegetables I trudge along the road back to Shigure's house. Clumps of dirt fall from my sandals.

Finally, I arrive at the bus stop I was supposed to get off at. I sit down for a rest under the overhang, my face feeling like it's on fire. My shirt is sticking to my back. My skin is flushed with red. After a much needed respite, I begrudgingly get up from my seat to start walking home. As I'm walking along the narrow road, fanning myself with my hand, a black car with tinted windows pulls up in front of me.

"Get in." His voice is harsh. And his face is angry and worn.

"No thank you. I prefer to walk." In this heat instead of ride in the coolness of your car. You pushed me away. Please understand.

As I continue to walk, he pulls alongside slowly.

His car is silent, like him. After walking for a while with my head down, I look up to see that he isn't beside me. I feel a wash of relief. Good, I don't have to deal with his wrath.

I pause in my brisk walk to catch my breath.

I feel a cold hand clench my arm and spin me around. "Where have you been? What happened to you?" There is something adjacent to worry in his eyes, but it's probably out of obligation since he is a doctor.

I twist myself out of his hold. In a desperate voice, I shout, "Why are you here? A pill is worth a thousand words!"

When I finally gain the confidence to look up at him, his usual mask of aloofness is replaced with startled confusion.

"What do you mean? I did it to protect you."

/

A/N: 2.13.2013 – Cliffy! Muwhahaha.

Fast reviews, fast updates!

Miaboo011: Thanks!

Tsukiakage: Ha'ri has lots of self-doubt, but to call them strangers outside of the bedroom. Pure meanness! He'd better own up to his mistake!

Kouga's older woman: Tohru took the pill. Thanks hon! The next chapter will clear things up!

Phenylephrine: Yes. More on the way!

Mcangel1976: Seriously agree! Get over your past, Hatori! Tohru will make it all better!


	17. Chapter 17: Apology

**/ Enjoy!**

**Chapter 17: Apology**

Now it is my turn to stare back at him in disbelief. I say slowly, "You gave me the painkiller last night."

He nods in understanding, as if a light bulb has turned on in his head. I take shallow breaths because of the knot inside my chest. The hurt aches, far more than the anger. "I didn't give you the painkiller."

"What?" My voice is small and baffled. I'm sure he gave it to me and I took it last night.

"I gave you the morning after pill."

Oh. _Oh_. The static in my brain finally clears. The fog parts as I remember what happened. I'm so shallow! Everything is about _me_. My sin. I don't even think about the consequences… Thinking back to last night's haste… ah, yes, he wasn't wearing a con-condom. "But the pill, it looked like the –"

"That was a coincidence."

I don't let him off the hook that easily. He said those piercing words. _We can't forget. Outside the bedroom, we are near strangers. Enough people know about us, and we don't want it to spread_.

I back up. "Ok, thanks for clarifying." I feel a little relief.

"Wait. Let me take you home and heal you up. You look like you've had an interesting day."

"It's alright. I can't handle myself. We are strangers, remember?" I can't help throwing that jarring comment at him. I want to let him know how much it hurt me.

/

He grimaces, hearing her repeat the harsh words he had said to her last night. He didn't mean it in _that_ way. He really doesn't want to be strangers. He's become so intimate with her body – how to tease her, draw gasping breathes from her full lips, that he can't let go now. He wants her. Mind and body. But there's always that pulsing siren that reminds him that it's too dangerous.

Last night was panic. The fresh image of Akito glaring at him at Momiji's party branded into his brain. He just didn't Tohru to be caught in the crossfire. But he had acted in such a hurtful, juvenile way.

"I'm sorry." For hurting you. I'm so weak.

He _never_ apologizes.

This is a first step.

She looks up to him as if that is enough. He's grateful that she doesn't need further explanation. Because it's too unbearable for him to dredge up old memories.

"Thank you." She says breathlessly.

In a kind gesture, he reaches for her bag and carries it over to his car. She follows him. He opens the passenger side door for her and she bows before getting in.

The ride is silent except for the whirl of the air conditioner.

/

He's holding out his hand to help me out of the car. I stare back at his hand, the long pale fingers that have touched my... who am I kidding? Tohru, get over him! Between him and me there is nothing but a prolonged contract of physical intimacy. Or another thought, he's the host, and I'm the... parasite. Not exactly how I want to imagine myself, but it's true. I ignore his outstretched hand because it pains me that despite everything he doesn't care an ounce for me, in the way I want him to. I can't keep lying to myself.

Keep your distance, Tohru.

Succinct reminders. Maybe I need to write it down in a notebook and look at it every time I feel a pang of tenderness toward him.

The warm breeze catches my hair and the dirt embedded in it. From my peripheral vision I can see some bits of dirt fly away. Hatori takes his usual few strides to the house while I stumble along the dirt path to the house. The inner length of my thighs is aching from the long day I've had, and when my hand touches my hip, I can feel pain. I am such a clumsy girl. Arisa would laugh if she saw me in this sluggish state.

Hatori drops the brown bag on the counter and proceeds to remove the contents. He examines the dirty clumped root vegetables with suspicion. I'm starting to wonder if he trusts anything.

"Where have you been?" He asks.

/

He'd come over to the house early this morning, mumbling his prepared apology to the young woman under his breath as he walked up to the house. He didn't get a response when he knocked, and feeling panicked, he went to the back door and found the spare key hidden in the rose bush. It had been Shigure's twisted idea of fun. _ If you forget your key, little ones, you will suffer the consequences_. He'd just seen the movie Saw, and felt compelled to pay homage to it.

Kyo and Tohru never forgot their key.

He entered the house and went straight to her room. He hadn't thought she'd have a reaction to the pill. She wasn't there, her bed was made and everything looked like it was in place. He called out for her to an empty house.

He hoped, no, _prayed_, that nothing bad had befell his ward.

/

I take the vegetables that he's laid out in ascending order by size, and put them in the fridge. I glance at him, only to see a frown.

"You don't have to be here." I say timidly. Why is he showing concern? Is it out of pity? Duty?

He ignores me, continuing to unpack the bottomless bag. After the groceries are unpacked, there's nothing to preoccupy either of us. Someone has to come clean.

I bite my lip.

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up." He says, with an air of finality.

We walk awkwardly to the couch where we bump hips before I sit down. He gestures for me to prop my leg on the table. He goes to the bathroom to wring out a clean wash towel to wash away the dirt and dried blood. My hand is clenched around the armrest. I'm grimacing. His face is stark and meticulous. He's in his element. I guess that's a good thing. He's so focused on cleaning me up that he won't be able to find any reason to be angry with me. A particular dab, though gentle, causes my knee to jerk and almost kick the roll of gauze off the table.

"Sorry," I reply bashfully.

His hand loosens on my zombie leg, but still holds me down with firm pressure. He returns to the bathroom to clean off the towel. When he returns he starts to clean my thigh. That's right. I'm nearly waist deep in… soil. Just replace that word with a four-letter profanity. No pun intended. As the towel moves higher, my breath hitches in my throat, but I keep my lips glued. I don't want him to see me dissolve into a puddle of lust. I shut my eyes and hide my face in the crook of my arm.

He pauses and asks me softly, "Am I hurting you?"

"No." At least not physically.

He finishes up before he leaves again to rinse out the grime. I look down the length of my body with all the red scraps that are absolutely stark against my pale legs. Why is he making me feel something akin to fondness when he so easily discarded me the previous night? I don't want to be one of "those girls", but I may have no choice. My heart has decided with its relentless, powerful thrashing in my chest when he's close.

/

"Tohru, I'd like to take you up to the vacation home tonight, if that's alright with you."

He doesn't look at her, afraid that she'll say no. But he really wants to make it up to her. Prove to her that she means something to him, she's _affecting_ him.

Away from all these distractions, there may be a change for reconciliation. He hates seeing her terrified of him. It isn't easy for him to show emotion, but he needs her. And to keep her, he'll have to change. Leave his comfort zone.

He hasn't been the best lover to her. Each time has been frantic and distant. But away from it all, can he let his guard down?

He has to try.

/

A/N: 2.19.13 - Ooo, secret getaway! This is the last of my backup stash of chapters. New post in a few days! Most reviews for the last chapter. You know I write for your guys, right? Thank you!

Mcangel1976: Thanks girlie!

Haruhi-Fujioka1: Tee-hee. I shall not keep you dangling for long.

Tsukiakage: Correct! Love ya too! Thank you, my dear!

Kouga's older woman: Hehe!

Phenylephrine: Thanks for the Valentine's Day greeting! Sadly, none for me. :(

Vampirelover2: Hey newbie! You're right! Thanks!

Traceless-Potion: ooo, I like your username, so –evil- Yeah, sniffles, Hatori is so mean. Will things change on their one-day (night) getaway?

-sparrow: Thanks for your support! I will, don't worry!

Let me know your thoughts!


	18. Chapter 18: Follow Me

/ Thank for the reviews, guys! I had an epiphany! The story has direction now! I've started writing the (angsty) climax of the story. It's gonna be dark. But don't worry we won't get there for some time. :) (There will be other dark stuff along the way though to quench your angsty needs!) You guys are the fuel to my slow dump truck – and I need you! Since I had no reserve of chapters, I've been hauling ass! (No pun intended, haha)

**Chapter 18: Follow Me**

/

This is definitely a turn of events. The feelings associated with being scorned and rejected have dissipated, giving way to curiosity, and if you don't mind my saying, some tingle of excitement. This is as close to a date as I'm getting! I'll take it graciously. Hopefully it's another place I can get him to open up, relax a little. He had mentioned 'others finding out', which I assume is specifically Akito. Since when Kyo expressed his concern about us, Hatori didn't really mind. I don't understand why he is so cautious. She's acknowledged that I live with Shigure and Kyo. She's voiced her disdain for me but she hasn't kicked me to the curb.

But enough about Akito.

I want this trip to be perfect. So I'm debating whether or not to change into the sexy black lace boyshorts that Arisa got me on my birthday two years ago, much to my chagrin. They've been sitting at the bottom of my drawer, forgotten, until recently. Would it seem too eager? Desperate?

Since every time I push, he pulls back in aversion, I think it's best to keep my current floral underwear with the stretchy elastic band on.

It's not like anything's gonna happen, right? Keep cool, Tohru.

I pack for an overnight stay, and ten minutes later (I'm a speedy packer), I meet him in the living room. He's picked up a book I've left on the table. _Oops_. I was reading that during my grieving period a while back. It's one of those Fifty Shades of Grey-esque books that make my cheeks flush with unquenched desire. When he notices me standing awkwardly in front of him, with my elbows in my hands, he looks at me with curiosity. I can feel my cheeks burning. I feel like I've been caught in the act. In flagrante delicto. Despite my partner being just an book.

/

Hatori leaves the city and drives into the mountains. I can't see any residences, but I can see mailboxes sporadically along the winding road. I've never been so deep in the country, away from "civilization" as they call it. While Shigure's house is in the forest away from the bustling city, it is still within city limits. I can still hear the roar of the bus in the morning and the loud dump truck on Friday mornings.

In my life, I still haven't seen a sky glimmering with stars. Instead I see the pinpoints of light from the lofty high rises in the distance. It's one of my wishes to see stars.

My body is aching from my morning trip, but my mind is alert. I'm excited to see where he's taking me. Will it be a small cabin overrun with creeping ivy? Will I hear crickets and see firebugs? I admit it; I am a city girl who loves nature. How contradictory.

It's late evening by the time Hatori turns onto a beaten path. The car bumps along on a graveled road, making the car vibrate like a massage chair. We finally pull to a stop. It's still bright outside. Good. I'm thankful it's summer and the sun doesn't set until past nine. The entrance is gated, like the estates. Hatori punches in a code and the wrought iron gate slides away. I swear I saw a coiled dragon in the gate's design, but it could have been my overactive imagination.

We drive a short distance to a main house. There are no lights and the landscape looks unkempt. The shrubs are high, almost covering the height of the windows. I can't really see the outside.

Hatori parks along the roundabout and helps me out of the car. Closer, I can see it is a wooden house with blue tiled roof. It looks storybook ancient with moss growing along the stone walkway. He carries my luggage and his backpack to the porch and waits for my sore body to drag itself there. It's strange to see him carry a backpack slung over one shoulder and the winds ruffle his usually tame hair. He looks like a handsome college student. But he doesn't have the boyish charm to match. Shigure can play the role, but Hatori can't. Hatori is beautiful, but untouchable. Shigure is at least attainable. He's playful and self-indulgent. If you catch his eye, you have a chance with him. But Hatori. He's controlled and detached. He doesn't live by passing emotions, but a strict guide that prescribes what is right and wrong. He is far away, like a castle in the clouds. A mirage. It disappears just as fast as it comes into view. The closer you get, the further it moves. But you continue to trail after it because it draws you in. You hope that maybe you can be _the one _to find it, enter it.

He looks as if he carries the burden of the world. His eyes are haunted by years of torment, pain, and loneliness. I want to wash it all away. As if it could be that simple. I want to bring him back to a time where he was carefree. Less suspicious of the world.

But that will probably go too far back. I think the last time he felt truly free was when he was a boy. When playing in mud was fun and without consequences. When you could smile with your missing baby teeth and get away with anything.

But everything's changed now.

/

The interior smells musty, like it hasn't been occupied for a long time.

When he begins to describe the house, before he's even found the lights, I can tell it's a huge space by the echo of his baritone voice. "There are six bedrooms and two bathrooms. Don't ask me how that's supposed to work out when everyone's here." There's a touch of humor in his voice. When the lights finally come on, I see the expansive genkan (entryway) with rooms that are partitioned off by a combination of wood and rice paper sliding panes. The ceiling is lined with golden bamboo panels. It is laid out similar to Shigure's house, but doesn't have the modern comforts, like a sofa, television, and dining table with chairs. Instead the ground is lined with tatami mats and several short tables. Despite being pretty sparse, it's beautiful. The sliding doors are covered in delicate floral motifs, there are beautiful scrolls with brushed landscapes, and there is a glass display case with two beautiful kimonos inside that catches my immediate attention. I move towards it to take a closer look. One is bright red with white cranes. The other is completely black brocade, but has a complex pattern across it. I'm not sure what it is though. I know that black kimonos like this one (mofuku) are for mourning. It sends a shiver down my back and I move away. It makes me dizzy with remembrance of my parents' death.

"Here, put on these slippers."

I thank him and replace my sandals with them.

"Let's get your bedroom set up."

I follow him into a girly bedroom lit with a spherical paper lantern. It has a traditional lacquer writing desk in the corner and a matching bookcase. I notice something familiar, a long chain of paper cranes hanging in the corner. Kisa gave me one of those a year ago. Having a smaller version of this in my bedroom at Shigure's house tells me that this is probably where she stayed before, or _is_ her room.

"Does everyone have a room?"

"The rooms don't really belong to anyone in particular. All the bedding is in the other room, and whoever claims the room gets it for the time being. It just so happens that Kisa was the one last here and she choose to decorate it."

He takes me to the adjacent room where there are a series of portable sliding closets filled with soft down comforters, sheets, blankets, pillows, and more mats. "Take what you need."

He picks up a set of bedding supplies and takes them to a room across from mine. "I'll be here tonight."

I feel slightly crestfallen. But no problem. It gives me time to think about him in the non-sexual context. The goal of this trip will be to learn more about him.

After I configure my sleeping arrangements, I wait outside his door and watch him carefully set up his bed. His movements are slow and feline. His body is graceful. I feel like I'm spying on an intimate action, but I don't care. It helps me understand him more.

He's much more relaxed when he's alone.

When he finishes, he looks toward the door with a look of surprise at seeing me there. He stiffens. He gives me a pleasant nod and gets up off his haunches. "Dinner?"

We go the kitchen together where he opens the fridge. It's empty save for a package of miso paste. A wry smile curls on my lips. "To think what we'd be eating if I didn't bring the freshly picked vegetables and I hadn't insisted we stop at the market."

He gives me a brief smile before opening a cabinet below. "I'm pretty sure there's at least rice."

We both hear a slight squeak and back away from the offending sound. "What is that?" I ask shakily.

"Probably a mouse."

My eyes grow wide in fear. "Uhhh."

"Don't worry about it. They won't harm you."

"But _they_ could crawl over our bodies during the night."

"I'll make sure your room is clear of mice."

"And I'll make dinner. Deal." I reach out my hand to seal the agreement, which he shakes his head in amusement, but concedes.

With the mishmash of ingredients I brought, I think it would be nicely pared with an okayu (rice porridge). I start up the porridge after washing the rice three times for safety.

/

While I'm washing dishes after our lovely dinner, Hatori asks if he can help. "It'd be great if you could wipe down the table."

I wring out a warm rag and hand it to him. "So, how often to you guys come here?"

"Twice a year. We all try to get out here once in summer and once in spring. If the weather allows us, some of us come up for winter."

I've never heard about this place. But I'm not bitter about it. I know it was Akito's decision. I'm already very grateful I have a place to stay.

"What do you do here? It's so… quiet."

He smiles at me. "I will show you."

As I finish up, he disappears into the hallway. He comes back with a large towel folded neatly under his arms and a pair of binoculars.

I look at him with a confused expression. "It's dark out."

"Perfect."

"This is the best I can do on such short notice. Usually Yuki will bring his telescope."

He motions for us to go out the back door. It's now pitch black.

"Uh Hatori, I have a tendency to trip in dark places."

"Here." I feel his warm hands grasp my forearms and pull them around his waist so that I'm holding onto him from behind. "Follow me." His voice is low and unintentionally sensual. I can feel the firmness of his abdomen through his thin shirt. I can feel the rise and fall of his muscles; its pace is fast. Too busy focusing on not tripping on some root (like this morning), I knock my head into his shoulder when he suddenly stops. "Sorry."

"It's alright. We're here." I abruptly let go of him and look around my surrounding. We are in an overgrown garden with a stone bench to the side. Hatori lifts the towel from under his arm and spreads it across the tall grass. "Lie down."

My heart is pounding like crazy and he senses my hesitation. "Star-gazing."

I start bouncing my head up and down. Bad Tohru! My mind was in the gutter, again!

I lie down on the towel and gaze up into the midnight-black sky. "Stars!" I cry out in childlike elation. How did he know that I've wanted to see them for all this time? My heart melts a little.

The stars are everywhere. I've studied constellations before, but I can't make any sense of it now. It's just… beautiful.

He lies down beside me. "Do you see those three bright stars in a row?" He points toward the left and I follow his index finger. It takes a while before I see what he's referring to.

"Yes, they go vertical." I move my finger up and down.

"Yes. That is Orion's Belt."

"Wow, do you know a lot about constellations?" Maybe we have more in common than I thought...

"No, it's the easiest to locate. Momiji told me about it last night we came."

"I've wanted to see the real night sky since _forever_."

Despite being unable to see him in the dark, I can hear him turn his head to face me. He moves his face closer to mine, so that I can feel his breath on me when he asks, "What other dreams do you have?"

It's kind of unexpected. This rational, logical, pokerfaced doctor is asking _me_ about dreams. He wants to know more about _me_.

"Trivial things."

"Like what?"

"I saw a blue piano in the city landfill."

He lets out a soft laugh. It's like a melody to my ears.

I feel gentle fingers unlock my clasped fist and lace them with mine. He moves them up to his lips and presses the softest kiss to my knuckle. This is the simplest, yet most meaningful gesture I've ever felt.

/

A/N: 2.21.2013 - Sweet, loving Hatori returns. He's so broken. –sniffles- Love you all! Review?

Tsukiakage: Love you! The night is young…

Kouga's older woman: Haha, we shall see in the next chappy!

Mcangel1976: Yes, great that you are feeling the tension between them!

Devilwoman18: OMG, I'm so excited for you! Love you soon-to-be-husband's proposal. Cute! Love the creative, beautiful name for your baby! Wedding will be GORGEOUS. Outdoor garden theme! Woot! Best of luck!

Traceless-Poison: Loved you review! It made me smile! You don't have an account yet?

Phenylephrine: Hehe, I like what your coworkers did, at least it makes you feel good, right? Haha, lovetrain. Love that term. :)

Mitsukiu: Thank you, newbie! What's your ship?


	19. Chapter 19: Morning Surprise

/ Love you guys! Warning: Explicit! Don't read if your offended by scenes of the sexual nature.

**Chapter 19: Morning Surprise**

**/**

A warmth shots down my spine as his lips continue to trace the curve my fingers. After he reaches the end, he untangles his fingers from mine and kisses the inside of my wrist. I feel dizzy to his touch, intoxicated by him. He pulls my sleeve up the length of my forearm and traces his index finger lazily across the tingling skin.

I feel his weight shift over mine. I can't see, but I can _feel_. The darkness and the coolness of his metal belt buckle against my stomach only heighten my other senses. I can feel his lips hovering over the shell of my ear, his breath like a titillating aphrodisiac. I swear if he says my name, I will melt right here. I'm already lightheaded as it is. Desire has clouded my mind. But sure enough, my _other_ sense kicks in. It manages to find a sneaky way past the fog.

"Hatori?" I murmur uncertainly. I don't want the reason this is happening to be out of pity, because he feels bad for our previous misunderstanding. I'm a romantic in my heart, and I want sex to be associated with love. I know I can't have his love, but maybe somehow I can have him open up to me so that there's at least a little affection between us. I don't need passionate chemistry. I just need a thimble of something more than just being acquaintances at best.

I'm not sure if I heard him groan as he moves off me, the cocoon of warmth gone with him. I feel a sense of loss. I squeeze my legs together to stop the throbbing between my legs.

It's not my 'lust time" yet, so I can think semi-logically, and it seems like the best idea. I want us to build something from a solid foundation. I want to start laying down the cement. And it's not going to work out if we always end up haphazardly in bed before I can get any talking done.

"Hatori, you know how much I want _this_. But I don't want it to be the only thing between us."

"I understand." His voice is stiff, but he isn't mad. A gasp of surprise escapes my mouth when his fingertips trace the line of my jaw.

"I have a lot of… issues. But this is a start." He says.

I feel like a dam has just broken through. The flood relieves me.

We lie in peaceful silence beside each other.

/

"Tohru?"

There is no response from the girl lying prostrate beside him. It's getting chilly, and she's asleep, so he rises from the ground. He lifts her up effortlessly into his arms, carrying her bridal style back to the house. He can't hold her closer, chest to chest. He never will. Her eyes flutter open when he sets her down on her bed. "Hatori?" It's endearing to find his name on the tip of her tongue despite her sleepy state.

"Yes?"

"Sleep well."

How badly he wants to stay with her, hold her like lovers do.

But how will this end? This relationship that they have? How long will it continue? Will her curse be lifted? Or is it for a lifetime?

/

I can feel his presence in the bedroom. He's kneeling beside my bed, unmoving. He finally pulls the coverlet up to my chin and wishes me good night. I let out a deep sigh when I'm sure he's gone. It's been a pleasant evening.

I stretch out my legs. And then a scuttling sound of clicking nails fills the room. I jump out of the sheets and run out of the bedroom into Hatori's, making sure to slide my door shut.

I can see him turn to face me. "What's wrong?"

"Mouse."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot to check." He rises out of his bed. "Why don't I set up a new bed for you in another room. We can deal with the mouse tomorrow."

"NO." I say, a little to loudly, my hand clenching the door jamb for support. I'm afraid. And either way, I'll be sleeping on the ground, where it can easily get to me.

"Would you like to sleep with me? I mean beside me." He asks after a long pregnant silence between us.

I nod.

/

Hatori lifts the edge of his cover to beckon her in. She pads across the tatami mat with the familiar click-clack sound before reaching him. In one fell swoop she is beside him. The cover isn't really large enough for two people who aren't plastered next to each other, but Tohru makes sure she doesn't steal too much. It's okay, it's summer anyways. And lying besides Hatori makes her feel warm.

"I don't want you to get sick. I'll get you another cover." He says. Before she can protest about getting it herself, he leaves the room. It's not really only for her. He needs something to separate them, because otherwise he won't be able to sleep tonight with all the perverted thoughts filling his head. He stops at the bathroom to splash some cool water on his face. Get yourself together, he tells himself.

Here he is, more than a decade older than her. With an unforgivable past and prickly personality. How can he ever make her _his_? This pure, fragile creature?

He brings the coverlet back to his room and pulls it over himself. "Thank you, Hatori. Good night."

/

I wake up to the bright morning sun permeating the rice paper blinds. My body tenses when I feel something hard against my bottom. Actually something foreign along the length of my body. I turn my head a little and see Hatori's lean body flattered against my backside. This is as close as he's ever been, since our chests can never touch. It's innocent, but doesn't fail to draw a heated stirring deep within my body. I surprised that he's shifted in his sleep. His cover is long gone, tossed carelessly to the side. He seems like the type to stay unmoving like a rock in his sleep. Another thing to add my collection of musings. His hand is wrapped around my waist protectively, his hand pressed lightly against my heaving abdomen. My heart is now racing with joy and I have this silly grin plastered on my face.

I revel in this comfort for a little while longer until I hear him stirring behind me. After a minute, he breaks the contact and mutters a string of apologies to no on in particular. He doesn't know that I'm awake.

I decide to make myself known. To tease him and see his reaction. I flip to my other side and stare back at him with a genuine smile. His face is solemn. "I'm sorry about that." His voice is a rough growl. Like it pains him.

"Don't be." I slide closer to him and fasten my lips over his for a chaste surprise kiss. I am starving for the sensation of feeling him. The first man I've been with. The one I want. _Need_. He's shocked at first and doesn't respond, but then he opens his mouth for me. I nearly melt because I triggered his reaction! My bold tongue brushes against his in a short-lived duel before I surrender to his searing mouth. He licks the bottom of my dry lips, moistening it considerably before dipping his tongue into the cavern of my mouth. One of his hands slips into my hair to hold me firmly to him.

My senses are once against clouded, and my body is moving suggestively. When I accidentally press my hard nipples against his bicep, he lets out a throaty sound.

/

His hand comes around her waist and pulls her up to straddle his abdomen. She follows obediently. He pulls her head back down to his and engages in more mouth to mouth combat. She can feel his thick arousal evident through the fabric of his robes. Should she...? But before she can move off him to pleasure him, do something she's never done before because she _loves_ him, his fingertips are digging to her hips, lifting her onto her knees. She's not sure what he's going, but when his graceful fingers reach for her floral underwear (which she now wishes she had replaced with the lacy black ones) to tug them down, she wordlessly complies, moving her legs so that he can slide it off. Unsure of where to set her now nude bottom, she remains on her knees, awkwardly. He simply pulls her back down on his abdomen. She winces. It's broad daylight, and he can see her. All her flaws. Will it turn him off seeing her rather shapeless body? Will he push her away?

Her fears are dissipated when his hand slips between her legs to run along the seam of her womanhood. He is satisfied to find it wet and willing. Tohru on the other hand feels the slightest bit of shame for always being so willing for him, even when she'd not under the power of the curse. She shies away, her head tilting to the side, a red flush spreading from her neck up to her face. She feels so vulnerable, sitting atop of this perfect male specimen.

Sensing her reluctance, he says quietly, "You're wet for_ me_." He stresses the last word. With her, in this moment, a flash of possessiveness fills him. _She's mine_.

She returns her gaze to him. His words cause an unbearable flood of heat to spread through her. His eyes are penetrating hers, like he's judging her reaction and responding accordingly. He slides his middle finger between the lips. He simply waits there and her walls pulse against him eagerly. After a few tempting strokes, he frees his finger from her and slides up the slit to the small hard button. His slick finger rubs circles over the sensitive bud until she begins to rock her body against his finger. She rides the length of his middle finger, which is shallowly plunging into her depths as well as creating pleasurable friction with her clit. Soon, her body is trembling with blissful sensation radiating from her core, it's reaching higher, higher - She's now grinding her body against his finger, desperate for release. He drives his fingers into her, pumping hurriedly. She is so wet that her juices coat his finger, making the sensation all the more pleasurable.

Then suddenly, he stops. He moves his fingers out of her.

Her shut eyes flicker open and they are filled with scorching need. She's confused. He's not teasing her, not when she's let go so easily...

"I promise this is worth it." His words ease her, but she's afraid that if he's not fast enough, she's going to lose the wave of pleasure that she was riding.

"I won't forget this time." He rips a foil packet carefully with his teeth and slips the small barrier onto his straining cock.

With her still on her knees, he thrusts up into her. She falls into place and he builds up a pleasurable friction between them. With every thrust, her vulnerability ebbs, until they fall into a fast rhythm. His finger finds her sweet spot and soon, she's riding the wave again, bucking against him without restraint, moaning, quivering. She braces herself by resting her palms against his chest. And then her universe shatters. She cries out as her womanhood clamps down on his cock. His own orgasm, like a tightening coil, is just starting as he plunges into her ceaselessly. A ragged gasp spills from his lips.

He always has the shortest length of time to orgasm when he's with her. He has to learn how to hold out longer. He can't think levelly when her beautiful body is writhing above his out of pure lust and need. It's a delicious sight, one he never wants to let go of.

/

A/N: 2.22.2013 – Satisfying chapter, eh? Yay for the reviews in one day! Hence the fast update! Have a lovely weekend!

Silverpuppies: Love your username! Thanks for coming out of the shadows, means a lot! Thanks for the kind praise. Which is your favorite story that I've written? Mine is PMLT. Instead of BLT. Hehe.

-sparrow: YW! (every time I save, it removes part of your username...argh)

Tsukiakage: He did, didn't he? Our little Hatori can't 'hold off' when he's with Tohru. Hehe, needs to build up endurance.

Miaboo011: Evil, dark angst is always lingering on the edge... but this is a genuine happy moment for them. A big turning point in their relationship!

micangel1976: You are a Hatori, thinking about all the consequences and future. Let's just say the climax of the story is gonna shatter everything.

Devilwoman18: Your fiance sounds like a great guy! Yes, it's so cute that you are thinking about everything in advance. :)

Phenylephrine: Yes, Hatori – keep up the good work! OMG, nice catch with the transportation... teehee... so funny!


	20. Chapter 20: Slice of Heaven

**/ Enjoy! A little bittersweet chapter with smut. Be warned!**

**Chapter 20: Slice of Heaven**

**/**

In a post coital haze, Tohru and Hatori lie in a languid heap of tired limps and sore aches in the darken bedroom. "Ready to face the day?" Hatori asks the beautifully spent woman beside him.

"No," Tohru groans.

Hatori is the first to get up and pull her to her feet. "C'mon. I have a lot to show you today."

After a simple breakfast of a red bean bun each and some fruit, Hatori pulls her outside into the brightness of the sun. Tohru's eyes take some time to adjust. "Let me show you the garden."

They first pass by a traditional rock garden. There are tall, jagged stones in the middle of a pebbled ground. "Who hauled those here?" Tohru asks, pointing to the giant rocks that look like islands in a sea of gravel.

"Beats me. This house has been in the Sohma name for generations."

The next garden is the spot where they stargazed. The grassy clearing is surrounded by short uneven flower shrubs.

"Everything is all very… natural. It's beautiful but unkempt. Does anyone take care of the property when you guys are away?"

"No. Before, we had a distant Sohma relation, but when he died, no one replaced him."

"I see. I can take care of the place if there is equipment in a shed or something."

"That's too kind of you. I don't think the boys would take too kindly to you doing hard labor like that."

"Really, it's no problem."

"I don't want you working here either."

A cunning plan forms in his mind. "It could be a guise for us though."

Tohru looks up to him with a confused look. "Huh?"

"Akito knows that I haven't been in a relationship for years. I will get Shigure to tell her that you're willing to do the landscape on the property, free of charge. Her cruel nature will be satisfied that you are going doing that labor. I'm the only one with a car. We can come here. I'll help you. It'll be our secret."

/

I'm shocked by the glimmer in his green eyes. He looks boyish when he's talking about his devious plan for us. I'm lost in the sweet hum of his enthused voice. I feel excited. Like this will began a new chapter of our relationship. He's acknowledged that he wants us to continue. He wants to build. He'll even help me with the landscape. I can just imagine the two of us working alongside. I'm going to buy some "granny" floral gardening gear and force him to wear it, I tell myself with an evil smirk.

"Sounds perfect."

/

He drapes his arm over my shoulder as we walk toward the base of a mountain. It looks close, but takes some time to get there. "I-I'm not prepared for a hike."

"Don't worry. We're just going to follow the creek down to the lake."

"A private lake?"

"Yeah, about forty minutes from here. We share it with two other families, but we've never seen them before."

After twenty minutes, Tohru says out of the blue. "Race you to the lake."

"You don't even know where it is." Hatori replies hastily as she is about to bolt. He never does anything so spontaneous.

"Follow the creek, right?" Her voice is already drifting away as she walks backwards away from him, giving him a wink.

"Alright."

He chases after her but veers to the right to take a shortcut. He arrives at the edge of the shimmering, cerulean pool of water. It glimmers in the sun, reflecting the trees in a slightly rippling mirror image. He walks on the small rocky shore to the dock and waits for her. Feeling hot from his physical exertion, he removes his shoes and dips his feet into the cool water.

He hears a sound of crunching leaves behind him and he turns to see a huffing, red-faced Tohru. "How – did you get here before me? I didn't see you."

"Secret."

She gives him a feigned glower. "Harrumph."

"Join me. The water's perfect."

Tohru slips off her sandals and follows suit. She moves her feet in circles, creating pretty radial designs in the smooth surface.

"Do you know how to swim?"

"No." Tohru responds, distantly. She feels a lump form in her throat. That is a tough subject for her. Her father Katsuya was a top swimmer in college. He even held the record for fastest breaststroke in Japan during his time. But he died so young.

Hatori is good at deciphering expressions. And he can tell he's just touched on a sore subject. What does Tohru have in her past that is painful? She's always so cheerful among them.

"I can teach you when we are here."

"Really?"

"Yes. I swam in college."

"Alright. I'll buy a bathing suit for next time."

/

The morning turns into late afternoon as they chat and enjoy the quietude of the lake. "What time is it?" Tohru interrupts when the sun disappears behind a cloud.

"Good question."

Suddenly there is a flash of lightening in the sky. "What?" This is unexpected.

"Come, I know an abandoned cabin up this way." The crack of lightning follows along with sheets of rain as they make there way to the cabin. Hatori chastises himself for not checking the weather before coming here. He never does, because it's grown out of habit. But he should have done it for _them_.

He doesn't check the weather because it's a form of unpredictability, surprise. His life is too conforming, too predictable. It's stupid and no one would understand.

It shouldn't be called a cabin. Since it doesn't have four walls anymore. Instead it just four wood beams and a thatched roof. "It's changed." Hatori says with a frown.

At least the cement floor is flat and dry. They sit down.

"Are you okay?" He asks tenderly.

"Yes. You?"

"Yeah, just a little rain. But I hate getting my hair messed up." He says, making a face that looks like Shigure's. It makes Tohru burst out laughing.

Hatori admires how easily she can laugh so wholeheartedly. He's never been that way. He always needs to watch how he's behaving in front of others. He can't show his emotions so easily. He gulps as his eyes drift to the wet front of her T-shirt. He can see the outline of her chaste white bra and the swell of her breasts. It makes him feel old, sullied. He turns his face away with disgust.

"Hey, _hey_." Tohru says softly, her finger against the bristle of his chin, drawing his face back to hers. "Don't push me out."

It's not you. It's me. That clichéd line would fit in perfectly here. It's difficult for him to get used to feeling something for her. He hasn't felt intimacy for so long - celibate, and suddenly all his senses are activated and going haywire. His eyes bore into her, and he's trapped. Her eyes are clear and understanding. He bends his head down to kiss her lips, his tongue slipping into her mouth. For him, actions are easier than words. He caresses the side of her face as they kiss before his hands start the roam her body. He traces the slope of her shoulder and down the curve of her body. Tohru groans when his fingers sweep over the side of her breasts. Her body has become so attune to his touch, the rough pads of his fingers. She wants more. There is too much cloth between them. Her mouth breaks away from his.

She lifts the hem of her plastered shirt, but struggles to remove it. She lifts it above the slope of her breasts, where it gets stuck, giving Hatori an unabashed display. His eyes turn dark as his hands mechanically help her remove her top. He's wearing sweatpants that don't restrict the throbbing of his cock. And Tohru notices. She moves her small hand to cover the area, feeling power seep into her fingertips at the warmth. She feels proud. Her fingers tug at his waistband that's riding low on his hips, and he looks back at her with question in his eyes. _Are you sure_?

"Please."

Hatori's newly freed heart is pounding hard in his chest. This gentle, loving woman wants to please _him_. The cold, memory reaper doctor who has done nothing but harm those around him. He stands up, loosens the drawstrings, and removes his pants shyly. Tohru is on her knees before him, looking at his elegant body. There is a small trail of hair that trails into a hidden place. She feels aroused in this position. He belongs to her in this moment. Her shaking fingers draw his cock out of his boxer briefs. Her soft hand clutches his hot cock, her fingers trailing over the ridges. She strokes the tip of his member with her thumb, spreading the beads of colorless fluid over his smooth head. She presses her tongue to his slit before enveloping his cock as far as she can in her mouth. He can see that she's trying to take him deeper, but he doesn't want her to hurt her, so he drops his hand onto shoulder and pulls her away a little. "That's perfect," he grunts. She sucks him, while stroking his base, and he's trembling.

He can't help it, but his body is swaying a little. He's rolling on the balls of his feet in the same rhythm as her perfect little mouth. His head drops back when he feels the pleasant rush. He has enough sense to push her mouth away as he comes in a intense jerk, the thick white spurts of semen coat her hand and the ground. The accompanied growl of her name sends a blast of warmth straight to her core.

"Do you know how precious you are to me?" He says hoarsely as he kneels down to meet her eyes. He kisses her temple before settling his lips over hers. The terrified look that she didn't do a good enough job disappears. She is dewy-eyed. I'm something to him! In this moment, he doesn't mind the salty taste of his essence on her mouth.

/

They don't notice a figure crouched in the green foliage, watching them with dark, unfathomable eyes.

/

As I'm packing up my stuff, I feel totally at ease. I'm with the man I love.

Every encounter between us is like a bubble. Perfect, beautiful, moving freely, until, 'pop' it's gone.

No evidence of its existence.

But it will exist here.

This is our slice of heaven.

/

"You're asking my little wifey to do outdoor manual labor?! That is not going to happen. She is to stay here to and play house, not go into the godforsaken mountains and take care of the trees and whatnot! I don't want her handling heavy machinery and blades! We all know how clumsy she is. I don't want her to get hurt there. And alone. She's been alone all her life! Do you have a heart? Do you want her to spend the rest of her youth taking care of the mountains like some ojiisan? _What_ do you think she is? You have so little respect for her."

Hatori is shocked by Shigure's reaction. He would have expected the "outdoor manual labor" spiel, but not the respect part. Shigure has never cared about anyone. And to question if Hatori has a heart? Pffst! He should be asking himself. In fact, all the Sohmas! Hatori scoffs. Shigure was the one that gave her all the tasks of "playing house" – washing his and Kyo's clothes, making food, cleaning. Why does he care if she is out doing other labor? It doesn't affect him.

Hatori wants to dig deeper.

"She will still be here to make you food and clean after you."

"It's not that. She deserves better than that!"

The words hit Hatori like a sack of coal. Does she deserve better than _him_?

/

A/N: 2/25/13 - Uh, since when did Shigure grow a heart?

You guys may wonder why our shy Tohru seems pretty bold at times; it's because of the remnants of the potion even though it's not "lust time."

And whose eyes did those belong to? Fuck that was scary!

Tsukiakage: You previous review used the word "heaven" just like the name of this chapter. Cool!

Phenylephrine: Thank you dear! -high-fives Hatori-

Devilwoman18: Thanks for asking my opinion! For you baby girl's middle name, how about something from your ancestry, like your grandma's name or something? BABY NURSERY – I love DIY home décor. Do something that can easily change when she grows older. I totally love a "secret garden" theme. You and your husband could sketch out little flowers, a little fence, birds, butterflies, or buy customizable decals. You could have like a "growing tree" on the wall. For special events throughout her life, you can add a new "leaf" as well as keep track of her growth on the trunk! Multipurpose. :)

Mcangel1976: Yay for alone time!

Traceless-Potion: OMG, you have a profile now! YAY!

Haruhi-Fujioka1: Yes Hatori's taking a few steps forward, but he's gonna take a step back in the next chapter when he meets someone…

Mackenziejen: I love your profile pic! I want Hatori!

Kouga's older woman: Good supplier, hehe.

Silverpuppies: yay, happy you haven't returned to the shadows. :) Sorry about the last part, I'm surprised that you still remember. :) It was on my old laptop (I go through laptops so fast), which died. :( That was my evil alternate ending. I just went to go read it. I have some recollection of what I wrote. Should I write it up? Hmm-mmm. I'm getting ideas…


	21. Chapter 21: Stranger

/ Lots happen in this chapter.

**Chapter 21: Stranger**

/

_Two weeks later_.

"It took ages to persuade Shigure to tell Akito about our gardening plans. The good news is that she agreed without hesitation. Apparently she's happy that you are so 'gullible' and finally making yourself useful." He says the last sentence with a look of distain. Akito is so cruel.

"Yay!" I cry, grabbing onto his arm and doing a silly little dance beside him. "When do we start? And would it be suspicious if we went there _every_ weekend?"

He smiles down at his wanton Tohru and her sense of urgency. "We can probably start whenever, as long as we tell her ahead of time. The goal is that eventually she won't even care. And _yes_, Tohru, that will be suspicious. We'll probably go there once a month until she forgets about it. Then we'll go there more frequently."

"Does that mean we won't be able to… you know."

"Yeah, unfortunately. Her house is right next to mine and she can see the comings and goings. She's also up at all hours, like an insomniac. And Shigure is at the house most of the time, on the first floor too, and from his drunken stupor last time, we know that he is very good at eavesdropping."

"Ah, I remember. But what about if I – " Her words trail off softly.

"What, Tohru?" He invites, tenderly. Her shyness is emanating from her small body and he wants her to feel at ease around him.

"Miss you?"

Oh yes. He has the same question. He ruminates for some time before coming up with a solution.

"How about I pick you up from work on the days that you aren't burnt-out and we can do something fun?"

"Really? It won't be a burden?"

"Of course not." I care for you. I want you to be happy.

/

Hatori's walking past storefronts in the city. Since he's been with Tohru, he's noticing the things outside of his dreary existence. There is a vibrant life outside of the Sohma Estates. It's like she's unlocked the barbed-wire cage of his senses and emotions.

Right now, he can smell the warm griddled red bean cakes from the street carts. And out of impulse, he buys a few to snack on.

He passes by a bookstore and sees a familiar book poster in the window display. It isn't a medical book. It's something that brings a smirk to his placid face.

It's the sequel to Tohru's "smutty" novel that he'd found on the coffee table weeks ago. He recognizes the "arty" fusing of two bodies, and the spidery font of the title. He goes into the bookstore to find the book. He's thinking about buying it for Tohru as a little joke gift. He can't wait to see her blushing reaction.

Hatori expects to see it on one of the front tables, but he can't find it, and he isn't about to ask the clerk where to find it, lest he be on the receiving end of the strange remarks and shocked looks. He roams up and down the aisles until the spots the "romance" section. At the end of the aisle there is a small table of the latest bestsellers and it's there. As he's walking toward the checkout counter, he has a déjà vu moment. In the coffee shop across the street he spots someone.

Her hair is longer, but her profile is unforgettable.

It makes his heart patter like heavy rain on a roof. He pays for the book and steps out onto the sidewalk. She's sipping on a drink – iced green tea, her favorite. A flood of memories assail him. He doesn't want this. It feels like the scab that's formed over his wound is ripped off. There were all those times right after their breakup that he mistaken some girl for her.

And he'd been by the coffee shop countless times. If only to see her beautiful, bright face.

Why is it for _real_ now?

His feet drag him over to the other side of the street, his eyes never straying from her. She's bundled in an oversized beige pullover despite the summer heat, and she's crying.

Why?

Isn't her life supposed to be joyous? Shouldn't she be raising a beautiful baby by now? Last time he heard she was getting along beautifully with her handsome, successful husband and had finally succeeded in her goal: becoming a OB/GYN doctor. They had bought a home in the country.

Old habits die hard.

He has to know.

The truth.

What he lost.

/

He steps into the coffee shop and buys a small iced green tea before finding a seat next to her. Luckily the shop is packed so he has an excuse to get close to her.

"Is this seat taken?" He asks.

"No," she says, giving him a cheery smile after she tries to wipe at her tear-stained cheeks. But anyone can tell that she's been crying for some time now, if they look close enough. And especially if they know her _this_ well.

She's as breathtakingly beautiful as the day he met her. Her inquisitive, warm coffee-hued eyes that look as if they are piercing his soul. Her flushed cheeks when she's nervous.

Not sure how to broach the subject, he mentions that the shop has the best iced green tea. She agrees. She recommends pomegranate green tea if he wants to "spice" things up. He's not so good with small talk. And the faster he can satisfy his curiosity, the faster he can leave and disassociate himself from this.

"What's wrong?" He asks softly.

She chuckles lightly. "The open-up-to-a-stranger-to-make-you-feel-better tactic, hmm-mmm?"

It's still her. She's could always laugh off the pain, never wanting to burden the people around her.

"Yes. I'm a sucker for grief."

The twinkle in her eyes returns as she smiles at his comment.

"Alright, you asked for it. All the gory details of my broken heart. Don't say I didn't warn you." She takes a deep, anxious breath.

"Two weeks ago, my husband had a one-night-stand with his co-worker on a business trip. He called me the next day, telling me what he'd done and promising that it would never happen. I want to believe him. It sounded like he was in near tears. I've always given people the benefit of the doubt, but I just feel so insecure. I saw a picture of her in a company photo and she's gorgeous, and I know he's not that shallow. But she's probably really smart and witty too. There's no way that after what happened between them, it can just be platonic. It's gonna be there – that spark. He wants my forgiveness, but I'm not sure I can give it so easily."

"Have you doubted him before?"

"No. He's been great, faithful for four years. We were going to – nevermind, it'd be cruel to tell you all the details."

"No, do tell."

"Try for a baby."

Hatori's fists are clenched tightly under the table. He can't believe it. He loses her to some unfaithful bastard? If he was Shigure, hell was going to break loose.

There's no doubt: she's always going to be part of him.

His first love.

It's nearly two hours later that she finally tells him that she has to go.

"It's been nice talking with you. I haven't openly told anyone yet, so… thanks a lot. Maybe I'll see you around, my stranger therapist?"

He nods.

She adds, "This is going to sound weird, but do I know you from somewhere? I feel like I—"

"Probably confusing me with someone else. I have a pretty ordinary face," he cuts her off with a lighthearted grin. But inside he is nothing from lighthearted. He feels like he's being dragged in a thousand different directions. And his last sentence... he's far from ordinary. Except he's never acknowledged it.

Is this what he's wanted all along?

_Another chance_.

/

It's past eleven and Hatori still hasn't called or texted me back. When he misses his calls, he always gets back to me at his nightly check. I feel a bit antsy. But it's too late to go over and check up on him. And I can't exactly ask anyone because it will rouse suspicion.

/

_Sorry, T. I was busy tonight. Pick u up at 7 tomorrow_?

/

A/N: 2.26.2013 - What are your thoughts?

Mcangel1976: Creeper eyes… hmmm…Thanks for the review! U no like Shigure?

Devilwoman18: I like the name Beatrice – it's old, but there's something about it that I like. And nickname Bee, how cute! I like you name too!

Tsukiakage: Thanks for the review, girl! Always love your support. We shall wait and see to find out who was being a voyeur…

Phenylephrine: Hehe, those will come into play later. His overly protective love turns into something more… hmmm… jealousy abound!

Mackenziejen: Oooo, go away Akito! Haha.

Momma Faraday: Thanks for your review for WIWU. I'm so happy to be in your favs list! Keep reading and reviewing dear!


	22. Chapter 22: Pit Stop

/ SMUT WARNING!

As always, I don't own Fruits Basket.

**Chapter 22: Pit Stop**

/

Tohru sat on the bench outside her office waiting for Hatori. Summer was coming to an end and she didn't want to waste a second of it. He arrived at the curb promptly at 7.

"Where to, Miss Honda?"

"Let's pick up dinner and go to Lake Kuri."

The evening was spent in a casual manner. Tohru spread a cloth on the ground for them to have a picnic of cold soba noodles topped with unagi, seaweed salad, and a pitcher of cold, fragrant jasmine tea.

They chattered happily.

/

"I don't want to go back." Tohru protested in the car as they were driving back to the estates.

They had just finished a delicious dinner and walked around the lake holding hands. This intimacy was all very new to him. They had both rushed into this all too fast. And now they were taking a step back to enjoy the "honeymoon" phase. It wasn't so bad to be "dating" again.

"I'm feeling kind of… you know." Tohru said quietly.

He had to admit the juxtaposition of her innocence and shamelessness was a big turn on. One moment she could be bashful – afraid to use sexual language, afraid to tell him her deepest needs. On the other hand, she wasn't afraid to touch intimate parts of him, throw her head back in ecstasy as he pounded into her, and moan his name with sheer abandon when she came.

"Okay. We'll find somewhere quickly."

Without a second thought, he picked up speed and turned onto the road that led into the mountains where the vacation house was. As soon as he saw a paved road, he turned into it. From what he observed in the dimming night light, there wasn't any illumination in the forest. They were unlikely to be found out by anyone.

The car wasn't exactly the most romantic place. She deserved much more than this. This was where horny teenagers had sex – a tumble of amateur hands and unfulfilled needs. But it was the only choice at this point. They had already left downtown long ago. And he could gauge by her quickening breath that she was close. She needed _it_.

He moved his seat back to accommodate the both of them. The only way he could see this happening was if she was on top of him, riding him. And he was fine with that. He liked to see her in control. His prim, little Tohru lose herself in pleasure.

"Come on top of me." He requested gruffly.

He stripped off his bottoms, struggling slightly in the confined space. He reached into his wallet for a condom which he fitted over his burgeoning cock with no trouble. He always has one easily accessible nowadays.

She was wearing a skirt today, which made things easier. She simply pushed her panties down her legs and slid her skirt up to her ribcage as she moved herself atop of him. It was rather uncomfortable as she had no room to place her knees. Her adjustments - moving her hips in a tantalizing circular motion made Hatori feel an urgency building up inside. He wrapped his hand around her thigh to stop her movements. Finally, her legs settled in a semi-comfortable position. She didn't mind the discomfort once Hatori devoured her mouth in a passionate kiss. His hands wrapped around her waist, steadying her. His lips nibbled at hers before probing inside to find her tongue. He made her lose all inhibition. Her vulnerability dissipated quickly, but she was still trembling in his hold.

She could feel his shaft impossibly hard against the softness of her thigh before he thrust into her, _hard_, stretching her. "Easy, Tohru. I won't hurt you." He crooned in her ear as she scrunched her face at the pain of the intrusion. She bit her lip to keep from crying out, drawing a thin trail of blood from her parched lips. She was soft yet oh-so-tight, moist and willing, letting out a small moan. A sharp pain shot through her. She gripped the armrest and the door handle firmly, but he takes her hand and puts it on him. He wants to feel her. _Everywhere_. Wants to be imbued with her sensation. At first she didn't move, adjusting to the full sensation of him inside her, full and throbbing. She can never get used to him. Each time is unique, fills her with yearning for him. Only him.

His kisses moved away from her mouth - the last vestige of metallic taste of her blood lingering on his tongue, trailing down her neck to her collarbone and then down to her breasts, where he quickly parted her bra and cupped her milky-white globes. He latched his hot mouth over her puckered nipple and sucked the tender bud which instantly hardened to his touch. He provided the same treatment to her other breast as well. Her helpless body responded by arching back, careful not to trigger to car horn. Her pert breasts are thrust forward. Too many logistics to having sex in a car, she told herself. But she doesn't care. I need to start keeping up a calendar or diary of some sort for _my needs_, she thinks in the back of her mind. His tongue stroked out to lave the tender underside of her breast, teasing. His actions are all careful and experimental – he tries to remember what draws out a moan, so that he can be the best, caring lover. _Her first, and maybe last_, a little part of him says. He doesn't know why he cares so much. He had given up on any type of long lasting relationship, until _this_.

The devil inside him (that he manages to cast aside) asks _this woman_ or _this act_? What is it that you crave?

She rests her forehead on his as she begins to move up and down his thick cock, despite the quaking ache in her thighs from the uncomfortable position. He can feel her strain and helps her by holding her up with his arms, feeling very useless because she can't rest on his chest. In the darkness, his hand – long and skillful - snakes between their bodies seeking out her moist entrance. He places his thumb as gentle as a feather over her sensitive clit which causes her to gasp loudly in surprise. It never ceases to amaze him at how responsive she is to him. He catches the trail of her moan in his mouth as he stops moving inside her, enough to gather her wetness on his thumb which he rubs over her hard clit. He starts up his movements inside her, and this dual stimulation causes her to groan and sink her teeth into his shoulder, enough to make him wince. But it doesn't really hurt – this pain mixed with pleasure.

Her thighs are taut with tension. Her movements become faster. The slippery sound of his cock slipping in and out of her and the feel of his large hands at the base of her back – holding her so delicately, makes her feel feverish.

"I can't hold back anymore, Ha'ri!" It's the first time she's said that name. And it gives a whole new meaning to it. He doesn't want to hear it any other way but from her lips when she is overcome with this passion and need for release.

"Let go," he moaned thickly into her hair, as his own strokes meet hers impatiently, striking the exact spot inside her that makes her scream as her swelling pleasure crests, breaking over like a wave of anguish and ecstasy. She can't see, feel, or hear anything but him in this moment. She is completely absorbed in him. She finally comes down from her great heights of satisfaction, helping him fulfill his rampant need as well. He drives into her with a deep and frantic rhythm. He's close. He soon follows, letting out a low growl that rings in Tohru's ear like a melody, sweet spasms erupting inside him like small volcanoes. He's shuddering as continues to fill her.

"Thank you," she whispers into his ear, making him shiver with the slightest bit of guilt.

He reminds himself that he hasn't done anything wrong. He's only spoken to Kana. He has _done_ anything. _Wait_, why is he thinking about _doing_ something? Stop it! He tells himself. He only approached her out of curiosity. Nothing came out of it.

But nevertheless, he can't get his mind off the bright-eyed beauty of his past.

/

The rest of the ride back, he doesn't speak. When he drops her off, he says a curt goodbye. She doesn't know why he suddenly became so distant.

_Please don't let this be another one of his sorrowful moods_. She tells herself.

/

A/N: 3.1.2013 – Happy Friday! What would you guys like to see more of: angst or fluff? Or is the current pace alright? (I sometimes feel like I have to 'actively' write fluff to string together all my angsty ideas.)

Mcangel1976: Thanks for your lovely review, girl! More on the secret…

Miaboo011: U got it, the 'hidden feelings' are gonna wreak havoc…

Tsukiakage: Haha, love your enthusiasm, dear!

Kouga's older woman: Hehe, I love you my dear junkie!

Morning-monsoon: Hello newbie! 3 your username! Thanks for the praise – makes me so happy. :)

Traceless-Poison: Thankies! U shall find out who the creeper is in due time… :) Haha, I love jealousy too. Your profile pic is scary. Are those 2 finger coming out of the yellow monster's mouth?


	23. Chapter 23: Learning

**Chapter 23: Learning**

/

"Ahh, I forgot to buy a swimsuit!" I cry out in distress. I'm so forgetful. I knew he was going to teach me how to swim this weekend. Argh!

"Don't worry, your undergarments will do."

I swear I can see a little Shigure twinkle in his eye, even though the rest of his face is free of any emotion.

My face burns hotly. "Are you sure? I mean-"

"I didn't bring my swim trunks either. I will just wear my boxers."

As if that's any consolation! He's a man! Things are different!

Finally after a grueling internal debate, I decide on wearing my bra, a tank top, my underwear, and some gym shorts into the water. So overdressed, but for modesty's sake! (Even though he's seen me before.)

When the lust potion's effects are dormant, I'm still that shy, modest girl who pulls her school uniform skirt down past my knees instead of up like the other girls.

We trek to the lake. Sunday of the last week of August. It's as humid as hell. I can feel the sweat clinging to my upper lip threaten to drip into my mouth, and the heavy sun lotion I'm wearing doesn't help. I rubbed too much on my face and my skin didn't really absorb it well. So I look like a splotchy ghost. We had planned to spend the whole weekend together in our secret refuge, but Akito had some allergic reaction to oysters yesterday and required Hatori's immediate attention. But at least we can ensure that she won't be snooping. I told Hatori I could to some landscaping, but he was having none of it. He told me we were going to spend the last week of summer doing something fun. No thinking about Akito. Work. Hatori sets down his black backpack and proceeds to remove his shirt. It's the first time I see his lean chest in all its masculine glory. It takes my breath away. My eyes are as wide as coffee coasters. It's smooth and pale and unblemished, like a living statue. But his torso is almost concave. He's really too thin. I can count each bone of his ribcage. My eyes are drawn to a faint scar beneath his ribcage. It's a thin horizontal line. Where did that come from? I remind myself to ask him later. I don't want to disrupt the cheery mood. Under my intense gaze, the muscles in his abdomen ripple with effect. I gulp. My eyes fall to a thin sprinkle of dark hair that snakes into a forbidden place that makes my face redden to the color of beetroot.

When I peek up at his face again, he has a trace of humor on his lips. "I'm sorry, Hatori! I didn't mean to stare."

"No problem. I'd like to return the favor." His hand moves to the hem of my shirt and begins to lift it when I stop him. "I-I was going to wear everything in."

He quirks his brow. "Are you sure about that? Your clothing is going to stick to you in the water. It's going to drag you down."

I start panicking. For someone who is deathly afraid of drowning, that changes things… He's already seen me right? I tell myself.

"Okay, I'll remove it." I take off my tank top slowly. His eyes stay focused on mine. I know he's being a gentleman by not looking down and I'm grateful. "My shorts stay on because my underwear is white and I don't want -"

"Alright, alright," he says with a little defeated wave of his hands. "Okay, so when was the last time you went into the water?" He asks, shielding his face against the sun.

"Mmm, I think middle school. I went into the children's wading pool."

"Uh, okay then. We'll start off slow."

"Uh wait. Sunscreen."

"Oh right."

"I'll do you first," I say.

I squirt a blob on my hand and rub it into his back. It gives me a chance to admire the sinewy muscle in his back. When I apply the lotion to his arms, my eyes trace every mark upon his perfect lean arms. He has a series of moles around his elbow on his right arm… I'm having trouble breathing when I'm so close to him, touching him… "Uh Hatori, can you do your chest." I've I touch you further I'm going to lose it.

He helps me spread the sun lotion over my back. He lifts parts of by bra up so that he doesn't miss a single spot. Was I that thorough with him? No, I was completely engrossed by his taut body.

After he finishes, he takes my hand and we walk over to the pebbled shore. My feet are a little unsteady since I never walk around barefoot, so the feeling is new to me. We wade into the water slowly, and when it hits me at waist level, I take a sharp breath of air. "It's cold."

We continue walking hand-in-hand until I'm almost completely submerged in cool water. "Uh Hatori?" I look over, a third of his torso is still above water. No fair.

"Yes."

"I'm about to go under."

"Step back until you aren't. We'll began your swim instruction."

He swims around me like a shark, kicking his feet deftly. "When you kick, try to keep your legs as straight as possible. You are kicking from your hips, not your knees. Got it?"

I nod. "I think so."

He pulls me through the water behind him. "Hold onto me. Let's go for a ride, kick if you can."

I wrap my arms around his neck and hold onto him tightly. My breasts are pressed firmly against the broad expanse of his back. _I never want to let go._ He takes a deep breath before he starts to swim. Both of our faces go under from the weight, and I get water in my mouth, causing me to sputter like an old train. He manages to regain himself and we're sailing through the water. I feel like Hatori is my pair of legs in water, and my face is alight with joy. He's swift and steady.

"Uh where are we going?" I call out after I notice that we seem to be swimming into a curtain of vines. "Secret place." I shut my eyes, afraid of where he's taking us until he says, "You can put your feet down."

We've reached a small cove at the other side of the lake. We are sheltered by a rock enclosure. It's dark except for the light filtering in from the hanging vine curtain.

"Wow, what is this?"

"A discovery Shigure and I made when we were teens."

"It's so cool."

"That reminds me."

He crawls up the mountain of rocks until he reaches the top. He lifts a flat stone and grunts, "Ah." He lifts a plastic bag out that is covered in sand and wiggles it. He opens the bag and takes out a small square of paper.

"Read this," he says to me, sitting closely beside me so that our legs touch. My skin seems to burn with his touch, but I quickly avert my eyes so that Hatori doesn't notice my lingering, lustful gaze.

"_Greetings person of the future:_

_This cove was founded by Shigure and Hatori Sohma on April 7, 1997. Below are our dreams. If you can find us in your present day, please give us a holler!_

_Shigure Sohma wants to be a famous author who writes mysteries and part-time archeologist. An eccentric playboy billionaire. (Ignore that last statement. Hatori wrote that while I wasn't looking)_

_Hatori Sohma (didn't want to say it, but I forced it out of him) wants to be world famous surgeon who cures and saves people. (AKA Boring)_"

Shigure's achieved his dream.

/

I'm pained because this dream of his was shattered.

"I'm sorry," I murmur. My fingers itch to touch him. But I know he doesn't like pity.

"Don't. It's not you fault. It's the past." He runs his hand through his hair. It's an act that happens when he feels guarded and closed off. Better move off that topic.

"We are here now. Together. You make me look at things differently. …and you give me hope." His voice is low and quiet, like the rumble of a distant storm.

/

Hatori has expunged from his mind all thoughts of Kana and her tears. It was wrong. It was a rash decision made by an emotionally scarred man. But he has Tohru now – a sweet, lovable girl with a heart of gold. _I've never been this happy before_. She lives by her emotions. The pain in her eyes when she sees the letter breaks him. Her unexpected vulnerability. He hasn't achieved his dream, and he's okay with it now. Her compassion is overwhelming and breaths life into him. Gives him hope, as he's told her.

_Still_, he's not sure what will happen if he sees Kana again.

He can't promise he won't feel a flutter in his heart.

He's torn.

/

But he's going to live in the moment today.

/

A/N: 3.5.2013 - Thanks guys!

Mcangel1976 – Thanks! You are precisely correct. So good at prediction. :)

Bri – thanks newbie!

Phenylephrine: Yes, it's good that you feel pity for Hatori. We shall see if you still feel this way in a few chapters. Heehee.

Tsukiakage: Fluff! Thanks!

Mackenziejen: Thank you berry much.

Traceless-Poison: The bush freak… hehe we'll have to wait a while to find that one out.

Kouga's older woman: Thanks girl!

Mitsukia: NEW READER! I love kinda-long reviews. :) This story is gonna have lots more angst coming up. Hatori was my first FB love as well. Unfortunately, Kana isn't going away. Hope you are doing well with university. I know it can be so stressful sometimes.


	24. Chapter 24: Escape

/ Enjoy!

I don't own Fruits Basket.

**Chapter 24: Escape**

/

_One month later_.

"Ah, alone at last," Tohru said in a feigned dreamy voice. Hatori smiled at his little flower before settling their luggage on the ground. "Work or play first?" He asked in a humorous tone.

Tohru contemplated for a moment before replying, "Work."

It was a little past eight in the morning. They'd risen early to avoid traffic and start their weekend together as soon as possible_. It's good to get away from university. I've been so busy this week. The first round of midterms. Done. _

_This weekend, my eye bags better fade! _

She's also noticed that Hatori's looks fatigued. She hopes it's just her imagination and hopes Akito is not keeping him up. Ever since the "oyster ordeal", she's been having a lot of physical problems. And she's been really cranky. Or so Tohru's heard from Hatsuharu, Momiji, and Hiro.

Hatori showed her to the shed where all the tools were stored. It was dusty and everything was covered in cobwebs. Tohru reminded herself to add cleaning the shed to her to-do list as well.

"We'll start with the overgrown hedge near where we stargazed."

"Hai," Her dutiful Hatori said with a firm nod. Tohru pushed a wheelbarrow with all the smaller tools, and Hatori carried the heavy machinery.

"I've always wanted to sculpt my own topiary."

"Uh, are you sure about that? This electric hedge trimmer isn't very light."

"Let me see." Tohru took the trimmer in her hand, and immediately became unsteady until Hatori lent a hand. "So much for that." She mumbles.

"So this hedge is way too tall. It's gonna take a long time to trim it down."

"I'll handle it." Hatori says.

"Okay! I'll start de-weeding the flowerbed."

/

"Are you thirsty?"

"Yes." Hatori replies, licking his lips. I've never seen him in such a state. His face is shining with sweat, but it only makes me more attracted to him, if that's possible. He's so… virile. And I want him.

I return from the kitchen with a tall glass of iced green tea for him.

"Did you just make this now?" He asks, confused. There isn't any food here…

"I brewed it last night, chilled it, and brought it with us this morning."

"Oh, great. Thank you."

/

After he finishes the drink, he excuses himself to use the bathroom. At the sink, he breathes deeply, looking at himself in the streaked mirror. His face is haggard. The green tea drink reminds him. He can't sleep every night because he feels guilt-ridden. He's playing with the hearts of two girls. He's positive he cares for Tohru, _hell_, is even fond towards her (which is a lot, coming from him, Mr. Loveless), but is it _enough_? Is it enough to sustain a solid relationship?

And this fling with Kana?

Was it worth it?

Is he giving himself up to a small delight and losing the greater pleasure?

/

Having cleared the weeds, I take a break and decide to climb a rather unique tree. The trunk splits off into two thick branches – one vertical and one near horizontal. They are like twisted arms. Even someone as _un_-agile as me can climb it. The crook where the branches separate looks like a really comfortable place to sit. I'll wait here to play a trick on Hatori. I see a soft spot on the ground below where I can land on and scare him.

I manage to haul my body up and perch at the junction comfortable. This is a lovely place to read a book under the canopy. As I run my finger absentmindedly along the textured trunk, I feel a smooth part. I look at what I've just touched and my breath gets caught in my throat. My world turns grey.

KS + HS.

The simple carving shatters my enchanted glass illusion. Reality sets in like a stain. She's gone, but reminders of her still linger like a heavy smoke, clouding everything. _What did you expect? She was his first love_. I don't even know Kana, yet her influence has reached me. I can see how broken Hatori is after she left. How can Hatori ever get over her, if remnants of her exist everywhere, like loose change on the ground? He can't help but pick it up.

And what can I do but be a bystander? He'll never recognize my unrequited love. I'm just this stupid girl with stupid expectations for someone who can't _change_. He's buried in his past. And I'm not in his future. I need to stop fantasizing.

I climb off the tree, all of a sudden feeling unwell, like I'm going to throw up, even though my stomach is empty. My stomach twists unpleasantly. I'm a joke. A desperate, romantic fool. How can I ever live up to his expectations?

/

"Tohru, would you like to take a break?" He calls out to her, wiping his sweaty brow.

"No, let's keep going." She responds monotonously. Hatori doesn't know why she has a sudden change in mood, but shrugs it off. After all, a girl is allowed a moment to herself. Probably tired.

It's nightfall by the time they are done with their work. Time for dinner. He can't believe she worked for all that time, not complaining or taking another break. He tries to bring it up several times, but she always has this 'don't disturb-me' look on her face and shakes him off. Instead, he settles for bringing her drinks and snacks. His own body aches everywhere, so he's sure hers is the same. Why is she pushing herself so hard? Who is she trying to prove to? Surely not him, he's already in complete awe of her work ethic and selflessness.

"Tohru, it's getting late, I think we're done." _For the whole weekend_, he thinks. Together, they've cleaned up the dead leaves, trimmed the overgrown hedges, and removed the entangled weeds.

She mumbles, "You can go inside first and start cooking the rice. I'll just be out here a little longer." She continues to sweep the cement with a small brush to remove all the dirt.

He's frustrated by her how careless she is of her own body. He walks up behind her crouched form and leans down. He puts his arms under the crook of her arms and lifts her up easily. She's stunned for a moment before she kicks out her legs. "Let me down!" Her voice is filled with panic and Hatori instantly lets her go.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just... I'm tired."

She storms off into the house and locks herself in the bathroom. Despite the mask of indifference she's kept the whole afternoon, she's exhausted. Her face is red like a ripe watermelon and she can feel the abrasive calluses on her palm, where she gripped the trowel too tightly. She's angry at Kana. She'a angry at Hatori. But most of all, she's angry with her self for getting caught up in this dream in this idyllic setting. She's shaking with humiliation.

_This isn't reality_.

/

I was never his choice.

I strip out of my sticky clothes and step into the cold spray of the shower. I don't care that the water feels like shards of ice piercing my raw skin. I don't care that my teeth are chattering. I just want to drown out all my thoughts.

As the water temperature rises, I sink to the ground and pull my knees close to my body. I bury my head in the small valley between my knees and cry. No one can see me. No one can hear me.

Just like it was before.

/

Outside, Hatori is pacing frantically. Has he done something wrong? No one's opinion of him has ever really matter lately – he totally ignores any of Shigure's suggestions. But there is something different with Tohru. He cares about her opinion.

After an hour, he stops outside the bathroom door and listens. There's no sound of running water. It's silent. His heart beat races in panic.

"Tohru?" he calls out, knocking on the glass.

There's no response. He reaches for the small pin above the door to unlock the door. She hasn't taken out her frustration to the extreme, has she? Morbid thoughts fill his head.

After a few failed attempts, he finally feels the familiar jingle and he slides the door open. She's lying in the bathtub, with the water making a gurgling sound as it drains, her head facing in another direction. He rushes to her side, and kneels beside the tub. Her closed eyes flicker open for a moment and settle on him before quickly closing. He clutches his chest in relief when he finds that she's alive. Her lips are purple and she's shivering. He grabs a towel and covers her modesty, drying her body firmly. He can't help but chide, "What are you doing? You're going to get sick."

She murmurs weakly, "Why do you care?"

"What do you mean?" He replies assertively. This charade is confusing.

"I'm using you! I'm being unfair to you! How can you _fucking_ care about me? How can you treat me like a woman when all I am is an insatiable, cursed, pitiful shell of a _girl_?" Her voice cracks.

He grabs her upper arms to secure her as he looks into her red-rimmed eyes. "Do you know how much you mean to me?" He growls with finality.

"Nothing." She says defiantly.

"Then why would I be here?"

Her eyes glisten with unshed tears. Her mouth is dry but she manages to croak out, "Duty."

He sits down on the cold tiled floor. He's not leaving until this is resolved. He doesn't even know the root cause. "It's not a duty anymore! I can't stand to leave you alone. I want to spend time with you. I don't want to be a coward anymore. But you know what? I'm weak."

"Let's end this." She says, trying to show resolution, but utterly failing with her shaky voice.

"Yes, I agree. Stop being angry with me! Whatever I did to hurt you, I apologize. I want to make things right with you."

"No, I mean let's stop perpetuating this semblance of a relationship. We're only fooling ourselves."

He can't believe she's giving up so easily. She doesn't want _him_? After he's put in so much effort? He's plotted behind Akito's back. He's started expressing his emotions. He's making progress, albeit slow. He feels his resolve breaking. He's dizzy and hurt.

His voice lashes out unthinkingly. "_Fine_. What are you doing to do without me? You _need_ me despite your not wanting to admit it!" The words that spill out of his mouth sound juvenile, but he can't take it back. Instead, he stares into her heated eyes with equal ferocity.

/

A/N: 3.8.2013 – Happy Friday! Supposed to rain today. Boo-hoo.

Hatori doesn't really know how to deal with anger, so he's lashing out random stuff, which is fueling the problem.

Phenylephrine: Hehe, thanks for the nickname. Do I live up to my nickname? Hehe.

Mcangel1976: Totally agree with your words, as we shall see… Darkness falls upon them again. Grrrr tree!

Mackenziejen: Yes! You are good at guessing, girl! But the big twist is yet to come. It's been brewing in my brain. It's scary.

Kouga's older woman: Thanks!

Traceless-Potion: I love you your 'YUSH'.


	25. Chapter 25: Watercolor

**/ Quick update because I love my readers. Warning: Lemon scene (ahem, I mean **_**treat**_**).**

**I don't own Fruits Basket.**

**Chapter 25: Watercolor**

/

"I know I need you," she says quietly. Hushed defeat resonating in the low timbre of her voice.

"Then don't do this." He breathed restively, the sizzling fire in his eyes turning into pleading embers. She's being so goddamn stubborn. But he doesn't want anything but to kiss the stubborn out of her. Claim her, make her his, make her respond to him. Forget about her apprehension. What triggered her withdrawal from him? He doesn't understand and he feels like he's crushed under this heavy air. A shiver wracks her crumpled form and without another thought, he catches below her knees and behind her shoulder, lifting her out of the porcelain tub. She doesn't fight back because she is too sore from today's work. He lies her down gently on the already-made bed in his temporary bedroom. She rolls off and gathers herself into sitting position on the bamboo mat. He grumbles, infuriated by her refusal to accept anything he's done for her.

"I'm wet," she says. _Ahhh_, his brain takes the two words out of context. It triggers deep, primal need inside him. He can feel his lower anatomy twitch in response. _Only her_. He registers that she is indeed stark naked. He's been so preoccupied with trying to fix whatever wrong he's committed that he doesn't pay any heed to the glistening womanly body in front of him. She gathers her legs up to her chest, effectively covering herself up. But to him, it's all the more appealing, her shy modesty. _I want to peel away the layers of her insecurity. Because she is mine_. He gets up and returns with a plush bath towel to dry her off. He dabs her backside, and when she doesn't object, he dries her legs and her arms. And finally she lets her guard down and he wraps the towel over her chest, but not before catching sight of her gorgeous milky-white breasts. Her nipples are puckered against the draft in the air. He can feel his stiff erection push against the front of his trousers tenderly. It doesn't matter what emotive state he's in, she can always evoke his passion.

He straddles her legs and coaxes her to lie down. He tucks a stray strand behind her ear. His emerald eyes exploring her pretty face. Her effortless, makeup-free loveliness never ceases to amaze him.

He takes a deep breath. This may be the only way for him to express himself. Not through any words. In fact, he's already said enough. He's afraid he's going to wound her with more of his harsh words that seem to have no filter when he's frustrated. He doesn't want that. All he wants is her loving gaze, gentle heart, and soft mewls right now. After a torturous day of manual labor, he wants to lose himself inside her tight, warm sheath.

Forget everything.

He chuckles at the irony of it all. _Him_, Hatori-fucking-Sohma, using sex to resolve problems. Ha. He knows from the log he's been keeping she needs this. _Now_. (So does he.) Forgot reality for a little while. He chooses to believe _her potion-driven lust_ was what caused her earlier temper. When did he become such an insensitive, deplorable, amorous cad?

He starts to remove his trousers, but she grabs his wrists to stop him. "Wait." He blinks back a few times in confusion and unsteadiness, since all his blood has rushed south.

She knows that now is not the best time to ask him any questions. Because in his aroused state, he's sure to oblige to anything she says. But she needs to know before anything else happens. "Do you want me more than just _this_?" She gestures to the closeness of their hot, heaving bodies. She gazes up at him imploringly, shyly, looking like an entirely fuck-able sight, flushed cheeks, hair fanned out like a proud peacock's tail. Sorry for his language. She awakens his crude teenage vocabulary learned from his best friend, Shigure Sohma.

"I do." He assures.

_Let me show you_. He slides his body lower, nudging her legs apart and settling between them. His hands wrap around her upper thighs, kneading it none to gently. He can smell the light scent of her bath soap. It's delicate and pleasant and not overpowering. And beyond that scent, he can smell her arousal. The musky, earthly scent overpowers him, drives him to the precipice of his control. He presses his face closer to her mound, inhaling. When she realizes what he's about to do, she clamps her thighs together, forcing him away. "What are you doing?" She asks him shakily. He can hear the unadulterated desire in her soft voice. Why won't she just give in? "This-this isn't the solution," she says quietly.

She backs away and rests her back against the wall, curled in a ball, staring at the ground.

"Tell me the truth. Do you still love _her_?"

"Right now, there is only you."

She can understand why he chooses to indirectly not answer her question. Oh Kami, she's lost it because she'll let another woman's memory continue to linger inside the brain of the man she wants. She won't chase her out. _She can't_. Kana is impossibly ingrained, like a tattoo on his brain. At least he's being honest. She continues, not letting the hurt penetrate her.

"What about tomorrow, or the day after? You've probably figured out that I have feelings for you. When will they be too much for you? When will you run away from me? Leave me like you've left her?" She knows she's not making any sense. But she really needs to get this on the table. Lay it all out, let it sit outside, _ferment_. Because Kami knows, she can't figure it out in her brain. It circled around so many times in there that it has formed a tangled knot.

Her words slice into him like a dagger.

Running away from his problems.

A question throbs in his head: if Akito found out, would he let _her_ go?

Would he do her bidding and erase Tohru's mind, effectively _killing_ her, because she won't know who to satisfy her needs anymore?

Indirect murder.

Oh Kami, no. _NO_.

"That's not going to happen." He's covered his tracks well. Right?

He admits, he hasn't thoroughly thought about the consequences. This happened all too fast, a whirlwind fling. The logic and emotion-drive parts of his brain have somehow bled together, like watercolor on canvas. She's right, what _will_ he do?

He's not sure. Nor does he want to think about it.

Because it will only end badly.

But he can sense she needs some answer, some closure.

"I will do whatever I need to protect you."

/

Why should I feel so suspicious of him? Kana isn't here anymore. It doesn't matter that he still loves her, because she's gone. I sound malicious, but it's the truth.

I can only hope that he can forget her in due time. I can fume, but the conclusion is that he needs time to heal.

An apology rolls off my tongue. "Sorry."

"It's not your fault.

What triggered your anger toward me?"

"Oh, nothing. It's really... just silly. You wouldn't understand."

He grips her arm. "Tell me."

I come to realize he's not the only one who keeps emotions bottled up. I feel silly and childish about my ill-founded worry.

"There was a carving of your and Kana's name in the tree."

"Oh. Sorry about that. Yeah, she liked to do that type of stuff. Secret declarations of love and what-not. I'm sure there's more around the property."

"How many times has she been here?"

"Half a dozen or so."

"I see."

/

Guilt crawls into his head. Should he tell Tohru that he spoke to Kana not too long ago?

No, it was a one-time deal.

End.

Done.

Gone.

No reason to hurt Tohru even more.

I don't want to give her any reason to worry.

I care about Tohru.

/

He drops a kiss on her head. "Come back to bed. I won't have your death by freezing on my hands." His finger trails down the goose-bump flesh of her arm.

The heated discussion had staunched some of her desire. But it comes flooding back. He moves down the length of her body before establishing residence between her quaking legs again. He hikes a leg over his shoulder. She mewls in protest. "Are you sure, Hatori? I feel weird that you seeing me..."

"I want to do this." I want to pleasure you like you've pleasured me. "But a warning, I've never done this before."

"Good." She whispers satisfactorily.

"Uh?" He asks, resting on his forearms to look up at her speculatively.

"Because I'm your first." She replies.

He teases her, "Have _you_ done this before?"

"Of course not!"

"Good. Because I'm your first." He whispers against her moist flesh. The movements of his lips tickle the sensitized area. His tongue experimentally delves between her soft folds, lodges itself in her molten, velvet heat. He tastes her sweet nectar before tracing up to her clitoris, her wetness lubricating the tip of his tongue. As she stifles her cries in the crook of her arm, he inserts his finger into her. It's so ridiculously tight, _pulsing_, he can't even move it. "Relax. You're too tight." After a moment, he begins to move in and out of her, while continuing to lap, suck, tease her nub. He can feel her breathy shutters wrack her body, in sync with his unrelenting movements, and asks gutturally, "Am I hurting you?"

"No-no. It feels good." She says hastily, wanting him to return to his post. And he gladly does so, but not after taking her arm away from her mouth. He doesn't want her to stifle her sounds. He wants to hear her. Know that he is causing her pleasure. _Only him_. Besides, there's no one else but him anyways.

This confirmation makes him happy. Possessive.

Soon, she's squirming beneath his ministrations. Her hands grip his hair roughly, tugging him closer against her. Her vision is blurring, her breathing is coming out in shallow pants. As she began to buck against his mouth, creating more friction, he continues his gentle assault on her. Able to sense that her orgasm is near, from the feelings of her inner wall muscles contracting and the quiver of her thighs, he moans, "Come for me."

"Not yet," she cries. "C-come inside me."

Oh, his Tohru learns so fast. The words shoot straight to his cock. "I don't have the condoms right now. They're still in the car. Just come this way."

She cries out his name in abandon as her fingernails dig into his neck, and her thighs tighten around his head. He doesn't care if she's branded him with small crescent fingernail markings. Those will only be pleasant reminders… maybe he should leave one of his own later… Even after she's achieved her orgasm, he continues languid licks across her seam until her shudders completely subside.

"Come up to me," she says huskily. His mouth finds her and kisses her slowly, deliberately. She tastes herself on his tongue and it makes her core tighten again. He feels immensely satisfied. It isn't just about receiving pleasure, but giving it too. To have her completely under his control makes him feel heady and alive, causing his heart rate to spike. He needs her now.

"I'll be right back."

/

A/N: 3.9.13 - Ooo, a resolution. I like this chapter.

Please review my lovely readers! Love to hear your comments/questions/anything. :)

Tsukiakage: Didn't see ur last post. :( No worries tho. It's good that you see both sides of their relationship. I'm sooo sorry about your home, so many irreplaceable treasures...! -sniffles- Best regards to you and your family!

Kouga's older woman: Luv ya!

Brit: You're very welcome.

Mackenziejen: My dear, not yet. Hehe. Good guess tho, I can see why you'd think so with her emotions all over the place.

Phenylephrine: Yes! To answer your question: he only saw Kana that one time at the coffee-shop. So far… muwhahaha.

Mcangel1976: Just the one-time coffee/shop-green tea/confession incident. Seriously, Hatori is terrible at -verbal- communication. He needs to learn. Go get some lessons from Shigure!


	26. Chapter 26: Losing Control

**/**

**Chapter 26: Losing Control**

**/**

Hatori sighs. Akito had just called an impromptu meeting in her living room. She pulled out a small plastic bag with some "evidence" that someone on the property was using illegal drugs. To him, it looked like an ordinary cigarette butt. But Akito said it was the unbearable smell of burning rubber that caused her to find it. She was hell-bent of breaking one of them, but no one admitted to being the disgraceful owner. Hatsuharu suggested that maybe it had gotten stuck under someone's shoe or blew over from the city, but Akito shook her head in agitation. She did not like people suggesting that she was paranoid. The coldness of her green-blue eyes shut everyone up.

The result – that everyone held their breath waiting for – was that Akito was keeping an eye out on the estate _until further notice_. No one was leaving or coming in without her permission. Lock-down. She said she'd been too lenient with rules and they'd been abused. She said she'd granted unworthy guests access to the estate and that she was taking away this privilege.

Prison was something Hatori was used to.

Hatori crawled into bed with his cell phone which he had become quite reliant on in recent times. He rolled to his side and texted a quick message to Tohru.

Sorry, A put us on lock down after she found 'evidence of drugs.' Dunno when we'll be able to see each other this week.

[np. You'd only distract me if we met. Hehe. 'sides I have an 8 am class tomorrow and two quizzes at the end of the wk.]

Haha.

[question game?]

I don't want to distract u...

[I promise you're not.]

Go. U answer 2.

[Favorite childhood mem?]

Hang out w S. He was such an entertaining troublemaker. Good times.

[Finding the cove one of them?]

Of course. u?

[Hehe. Me... baking adventures with my mum.]

I'm sorry I never got to meet her.

[Same from my end. I'm sorry for your loss.]

Except my parents weren't like yours.

[...]

neglectful. Ashamed.

[Of u? How could they? u = perfect]

Haha, thanks for the flattery. They didn't think so.

[:(]

don't be. UR here now

[my pleasure]

Literally

[-blush- Food u crave?]

u

[No, really. :)]

Tohru's strawberry candy, cake, grilled cuttlefish, fried rice, everything

[-blush- Dream house?]

Doesn't matter, as long as you're in it.

[really, even a metal shack?]

yes. U?

[mee too anywhere w u is heaven]

what's one thing u want to do before u die?

[fall in love. check. u?]

do something out of my comfort zone. semi-check

[first kiss?]

K in my office.

[uhhhh, not really romantic, eh?]

ha, yeah. u?

[u]

really, i took that from u too?!

[u didn't. i gave it to u.]

what about yuki?

[doesn't even enter my mind anymore]

good

[jealous much? :)]

nah

[k are u good w kids?]

no

[do u want kids?]

the truth is…

[what?]

it's too scary

[why?]

i might do something wrong

[but that's what life's all about. learning from your mistakes]

but my mistake may have a lasting impact

[u'll have someone to guide you through it all]

Hmm

[what's your sin?]

Huh

[seven deadly sins]

Guess

[Wrath]

No what made you think that?

[I've been at the receiving end…]

Only because u made me worried

[-rolls eyes-]

What about u?

[what do u think?]

Oh of course lust

[but if I wasn't cursed. Probably gluttony. I like to eat]

Doesn't look like it

[haha.]

[earliest mem?]

get yelled at for getting crumbs all over myself at zoo

u?

[awww poor h. me... lemme think]

[running about under water sprinklers in a polka dot bathing suit]

haha fun i'm jealous

[u had fun too. s and ayame]

Yeah Deepest regret?

[not saving my mum. I don't need to ask u tho. I already know.]

Favorite food?

[purple yam, tonkotsu, oden]

yum

[I can't imagine u ever using that word]

huh

[doctors don't say yum]

your influence

[haha o.O omg, S is complaining about wanting night ramen. i have to prepare it. luv u. good night h]

night t

/

"Hatori? Can you get these dry cleaned? And pick up a weeks worth of groceries for the cooks. Jiro is ill." Akito had requested him in her room early the next morning.

"Yes."

Yes, an opportunity to get off the estate! Fresh air! The hustle and bustle of the city! But alas, Tohru would be in classes all day. No chance of meeting her in this given time.

He drove to the dry cleaners and dropped off her basket filled to the brim with clothing. Despite rarely going out, Akito had a massive wardrobe in shades of black, grey, and red. And it was going to take a long time. He might as well make the most of his time outdoors. He would go to the grocery store after picking up her clothes, because otherwise the food would be sitting in his car for way to long.

He decides to walk over to the bookstore.

"Hey stranger."

He twists his body to the voice over his shoulder. Before him stands Kana. Her hair is up in a low ponytail today, and the sun is shining down on her hair, making it seem slightly auburn. She's wearing a gauzy white blouse paired with black trousers. Around her neck is autumn ochre yellow scarf. She's beautiful. Ageless.

"Hi," he replies breathlessly, stunned that this character in many of his sleepless imaginings is here before him. Real. Tangible. As clear as the blue sky. And it makes his heart pound an erratic beat. If she was close enough, she would probably hear it. More reason to back away.

But his feet are rooted to the ground.

_Kami help me_.

"What are-are you doing out of work?"

"It's my lunch break. May I ask you the same?" She says with a cheerful twinkle in her eyes.

"Errands."

"Oh, I see. Husbandly duties."

"I'm not married," he replied swiftly. Fuck. Why had he felt that burning need to tell her? Immediately, he wanted to slap himself in the forehead. What am I doing?

Unbeknownst to him, her face brightened a little. "Last time I was so busy talking about myself, I didn't get to ask you what you do for a living." Kana asked eagerly.

"I'm a - - family doctor."

"Great. We need more people like you."

"How are things?" The question is simple, but the meaning is much deeper, after the pain she shared with him last time. He needs to know that she is alright.

"Okay. He's staying with his brother for the time being. Until I sort things out."

"And are you doing that alright?"

"I suppose so. I'm done some things for myself in my free time. I've taken up watercolor again."

He remembered. That was one of her passions. And she was great at it. He still had one of her beautiful works stashed somewhere in his cabinets. He couldn't stand to look at that reminder of her. It was a painting of stormy waves crashing against a solitary rock. That rock was what he was. _Is_.

"That reminds me -" Her body quivers with the slightest tremble. She chews on her bottom lip, unsure of whether or not to tell him. It seems so silly. So surreal. Maybe he'll think she's improbable, but it caught her breath when she saw it. She discovered it in the bottom of her bedside trunk, under a flurry of dust. Hell with it. Let him know. Let her get it off her chest. He's been on her mind constantly since she found that picture. It's sitting on nightstand. "I- I found an unfinished sketch that looked an awful lot like you."

Is this what he's been waiting for all this time? For Kana to remember some trace? He could help her slowly reclaim the memories of their life together…

Stop.

One-time deal. He's literally _felt_ Tohru's hurt after she saw that tree carving.

I can't do this to her.

I've promised myself I wouldn't.

But this is what could have been. A little voice tells him. It's that same niggling little voice that's telling him he can't cut this line with Kana.

He's digging himself deeper. There is almost no more light. He's trapped hook, line and sinker.

He can't believe that after all this time it would blow up in his face. Why now? Why _fucking_ now?

He lowered his head so that she would not see his severe bobble of his Adam's apple.

Because he hated photos, they had very few of them together, much to her chagrin at the time. All candid. All were in his possession.

But how was he supposed to confiscate a sketch of himself? How was he supposed to know? He hadn't thought it all the way through. And now he was going to pay.

With someone's heart.

/

He gave Kana a casual, crooked smile. "That's weird."

"It was just a pencil outline, but I swear it resembles you."

_Fuck_.

/

**A/N:** 3.18.2013 - The questions are really fun. Same thing in WIWU. It's a good way to explore background/ past. Hope you enjoyed!

Hatori never mentioned his sin… will become important later on. If anyone can point it out when it comes up… WOOT! I bow down to you. :)

Will Hatori be able to let her go now that there's a chance of a future with her...?

I live for your reviews! Feed me please!

.

Mcangel11976: Agree with you completely. Why come back now Kana?!

Tsukiakage: Thanks, hope u enjoyed this one too. Much planned ahead! Just have to get the ideas in text, haha.

Kouga's older woman: I'm sorry but wish for Kana to be gone is unfortunately not my command. It's the evil plot bunny, I swear! Love you!

Mackenziejen: Ooo, didn't think about that… hehe maybe he shall now that you've mentioned it. :p

Phenylephrine: Hehe, I totally agree. It's good that they are bickering now. If it was like this storybook romance, who knows what would bite them in the future… eh? You are the best, dear!

Traceless-Poison: Hehe, great enthusiasm hon! Warning: more torture coming your way. Bahahaha. :)


	27. Chapter 27: Guidance

**/ Fast post! Is it just me, or has the style of fanfiction changed? It's more… spacious?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.**

**/**

**Chapter 27: Guidance**

/

"I have seen you in weeks since that lockdown Akito initiated. She won't even let me in because she says I have such bad influence. I'm older than most of the people there and I've had much more experience and knowledge! Over her! I only impart my worldly wisdom anyways. Harrumph! Unreasonable! What have I done to deserve her wrath?"

_Uh, she still believes herself to be in love with you_. Hatori wanted to say. It was clear as day. She pulled out all the stops to get him to notice her. Even in some sick day, this was for Shigure to notice her. If she couldn't get his love, she could at least claim his fury. "Akito hates everyone."

"That's the truth. I can't believe it's lasting this long. When's it gonna blow over? I mean, there are no 'leads.' She can't keep you all fenced in like sheep, with a timetable of goings and comings. Haha." Shigure replied drolly, as he blew warmth into the cavity formed by his clasped hands. It was chilly in the restaurant.

"Torture us until one of us snaps and takes the blame."

"I hope not. That's pitiful. She's gotten awfully sadistic in the past year. Like she called me up when she 'found' out, saying that she had prepared this torture chamber and whatnot. Not sure if she was joking, but it sounded damn scary to me. She was also complaining a whole lot of nonsense about future generations. Lack of fertility. No more descendants. How we were all gonna go to hell. Basically, in laymen's terms, mutterings of a maniac."

Hatori's brow furrowed in concentration. Sadistic was not a word he wanted to hear. She was getting worse. And who/ what were influencing her? She didn't have much outside communication. No friends. She was cooped up in her room all day. Maybe the loneliness was getting to her – making her dream up extreme ideas. Did loneliness do that to you? _Yes, you would know_, that frequent voice in his head said sinisterly. He pushed it back.

She needed to go outside. Somewhere else. Focus her attention elsewhere and leave the rest of them alone.

As if.

She would be too suspicious.

"So what are you ordering?"

"I'm going to get the oden." Hatori replied coolly. It was only mid-autumn, but winter was fast approaching. Most of the leaves had fallen off of the trees at the estates. This had only fueled Akito's irritation. She had yelled at one of the gardeners, of whom Hatori apologized to profusely. No one deserved that. They were too busy as it was. From the precise topiary to trimming to creeping ivy "just enough" to satisfy The God.

"I'm not that ravenous. Tohru's been cooking up mini-storms every night for me and Kyo. Small audience for a masterful chef. But I'm glad. So delicious, my mouth waters just thinking about it. We actually had a really tasty oden early this week. She put some of my favorite lotus root in. She's so cheerful these days. I'm not sure what's gotten into her. I'm not complaining. I love it."

Hatori winced at the word 'love.' He didn't want the dog to talk about _his_ woman that way. But all the same, he couldn't do anything about it except clench his fists under the table. _Furtive. In the shadows_. He, on the other hand, ate flavorsome dishes prepared by the professional chefs at the estates. _Alone_.

Nothing tasted better than food prepared with love. _Tohru's love_. It could be a slice of toast with a thin spread of peanut butter and still taste like heaven on his tongue. More so if it was in her presence. Eating with your loved one was a privilege he yearned for these days.

He never wanted to go back to his solitude. It was a bleak, torturous place that had left its impression on him forever.

He reminded himself that in tonight's text (texting had become their lifeline in past weeks) to ask her the types of dishes Shigure was speaking so graciously about. At least he could pretend that he was there with them. Specifically, with her. Soaking up her love, her kindness, her gentle humor.

After they placed their respective orders, Hatori leaned back on his chair contemplatively.

"Shigure, can I ask you something?"

The man wearing the brown yukata eyed the doctor suspiciously as if Hatori had ill intent. "You never ask. You just do it. What's different?"

"Nothing serious."

"What a great honor it is that my help is requested by the great doctor," Shigure said with a grin and a roll of his arm as if he bowing down to a higher authority. "Always at your service, my lord."

"Have you ever been… stuck between two… prospects?"

"Sure, but what prospects? Are we talking job offers, sex offers, mortgage loans, cars, fruits, medical equipment purchases..."

"Let's say for this hypothetical question it is between to potential girlfriends."

"Ooo, our resident prude doesn't have his briefs in a twist over two mates, does he?" Shigure touched his chin in a cheeky, yet thoughtful manner.

"Fuck off, Shigure. I'm being serious."

"For a 'hypothetical' question you seem rather invested." Shigure's inquisitive eyes lingered over the dark circles under Hatori's eyes. A shade darker that usual. Hmm. Someone wasn't getting enough sleep… he, author extraordinaire, had an eagle perceptive eyes when it came to noticing subtle human characteristics. That was what made him great. Writing about the truths that other people never noticed. The slight trace of someone's finger over the polished banister, the momentary pause of a lover's movements as he noticed the object of his affections move into his view…

"Yes, I have a lot of experience in this department, both in real life and in my fantasy story realm. Who do you have instant spark with? Who makes you let go of all your barriers? Who makes you laugh? Who can make you forget all your drama and just live in the moment? Who loves you more than she loves herself? Who tries to do everything to please you, even at the expense of her own wellbeing? Who have you changed for? Who do you see in your dreams at night? Who can you imagine growing old with? Who makes you see red when you see her with another man? These are just a few things to think about first."

"When have you been at this crossroad in life?" Hatori asked with interest. Everything Shigure had said was surprising honest and valid. As if he'd experienced it some time in his past. But it had been so sordid at times… how did a man of his nature…

Hatori couldn't wrap his head about it. He equated it to Shigure being a hugely successful wordsmith.

"If you must know, it was just a summer fling during college, but I still consider it my most serious relationship. I never told you because it was so different for me. I didn't even understand myself. I wanted to be monogamous for her. That means something coming from me.

And now, in my present life, there is someone who's piqued my curiosity."

Hatori rolled his eye. Typical Shigure. Completely off his rockers, living in a separate world from all the mortal men. He 'fell in love' at the drop of a dime.

"What were some things you felt towards her that made you decide?" Hatori posed.

"When we were out with a group of friends, many females, I didn't look at any of them. When they touched me, flirted with me, I didn't do it back. My eyes never wavered. At first, I thought I had lost some of my mojo, but then I realized that I was changing. _Because of her_.

So Hatori, in your 'hypothetical situation', have you started doing anything different?"

_Yes. I was completely entranced. At ease. Free. Even giddy. When I was with her. _

_But then there's also Kana. My heart pounds in __anticipation when I see her. Like I'm waiting for a breakthrough, for the fragments of her memories to somehow put the pieces together. _

_Come back to me._

/

**A/N:** 3.20.2013 - For all those interested, the oden that Hatori ordered is a traditional winter dish in Japan. This stew typically includes boiled eggs, fish cakes, daikon, in a slightly sweet soy sauce broth. Very customizable though.

All the food I write about in the story is researched and real food in Japan! From the street snacks to the Tohru's meal preparations. Hope I've made your taste buds curious… mehehehe. I'm hungry.

Dropped some evil hints here. They think they are pretty hard to find. (I've dropping a few things in the past chapters. I better write them down so I tie everything together… starting with the creeper at the vacation house… I remember one reader from PMLT asked me why I never mentioned the necklace that Shigure fetched from the pond… meticulous reader… love that)

Stats thus far (just me keeping track),

**141** review, **17** Favs, **26** Followers, **7537** Hits. Thanks!

Please review, dearies!

Kouga's older woman: Thanks so much girl!

Mrs-Sora-sparrow: No problem!

Phenylephrine: Hehe, love you!

Mackenziejen: Haha, yeah, I agree.

Mcangel1976: Hatori is at a crossroad. Bad boy! You are totally right with the 'testing waters'. It's not fair! Maybe Tohru oughta do the same to teach him a lesson! Harrumph!

Next chapter will be up by this weekend!


	28. Chapter 28: As Your Friend

**Chapter 28: As Your Friend**

/

Unable to concentrate on the monthly medical journal in his hands, he flipped off the lights, and fell back into his bed. He was wide awake despite how sore his body was from sitting rigidly in his chair. He could not relax. He was overwrought. His mind was occupied with other things. A storm of thoughts. His chance encounter with Kana (again), the heartfelt advice from Shigure, his upcoming 'date' with Tohru at the vacation house. The secrets he was holding. He felt like his carefully formed mechanical way of life had been turned on its robotic head. Nothing was well-defined anymore. No more black and white. Everything was grey. And admittedly, he was having a very hard time coming to terms with all this. Mostly, his feelings. They were like a newborn baby – weak and in constant need. He needed someone to guide him, love him. Help him interpret what was going on in his mind. _His heart_. But he felt too guilty to go to the woman who could nurture his feelings.

Those feelings locked in a tightly screwed bottle were now exposed. Glaring at him out in the open. Accessible for anyone to mess with. Did he trust anyone?

He'd told Tohru that there was only her. Those words had been truthful. He'd tried to forget about Kana. It had worked until she entered his life again. Was it fate? He had never been one to believe in fate. It was an easy answer to all the unexplainable things in the world. But how else could he explain the recent events? That is what is causing these sleepless nights.

After Kana had insisted that the sketch looked like him, he had tried to switch topics, but to no avail. She was driven to get a response from him.

_Does she know?_

"_I don't believe that we aren't connected in some way! The sketch is perfect down to the details, from the quirk of your eyebrows to the fall of your hair. I'm not making this up!" She was almost seething with vehemence. And his downcast eyes were a sure giveaway._

He knew it was cruel, but he taunted her. "Why don't your remember?"

"_I don't know! It's like…" She replied hopelessly._

"_Continue." He demanded._

"_It-it's like a part of my memories have been removed. Before I started my internship at the Naha Hospital, I-I'm not sure… it was like I was in college. There are about six years of which I'm not sure of."_

Hatori winced as if someone had stabbed a needle into him. He's erased more than needed, but only as a caution. He'd also erased all her memories during the time. He did not have the training to selectively erase memories. He knew it was possible. But also very risky. He did not have the strength to resist her if somehow he'd overlooked a thread of memory and she'd return to him. _Just like right now._ He'd have open arms and a litany of apologies. Long ago, he'd even thought about running away with her. But it had happened all too sudden. No time to plan. She'd blamed herself when he'd been hurt, literally withering before him like a dying rose.

But, is he happy now?

Can he be happy knowing that he is breaking someone else's heart in the process?

/

"Tohru, you have been tirelessly studious in the last two weeks. Are you going to take any breaks before winter break?"

I looked up blearily at Kyo. Yes, I've been completely devoted to school since I haven't been able to see Hatori. I'm trying to get ahead in my classes so I'll be able to spend my winter break with Hatori at ease. I've done well on all my exams, and it's only motivated me more. But Hatori is always at the back of my mind. And every night, I give myself one to two hours to text with him. It's my reason to work hard.

I've learned a lot about him over texting. He seems more laid-back behind the screen. I see his wry humor come out.

_I'm happy_.

/

I snap back to reality.

Kyo's eyes are vivid and pleading. He's turned his "Puss-in-Boots" charm on. He really knows how to get my attention and approval.

"Sure Kyo. How about this weekend?"

"Perfect."

/

"So what are we going to do today, Mr. Early Bird?"

The two early risers looked at each other with bright eyes.

"We're going to the city. There's supposed to be this festival."

"Sounds fun."

As they settled on the bus, Kyo spoke. "Are you alright? With Hatori and everything. I've been really busy lately and kind of ignored you."

"Yeah, things are great."

"Good. 'Cause if he did anything wrong, I'd kick him in the ass. I've been practicing."

Tohru giggled softly. She was thankful for having such a great, understanding friend.

/

They bought some takoyaki from a street vendor before navigating through the crowded sidewalk. "The whole lockdown thing is so messed up. She just needs an excuse to keep everyone caged like animals. The sadistic woman. But someone's managed to find an alternate means of communication." Kyo said loudly to counter the street noise, receiving some strange looks along the way.

"Huh?" Tohru stopped short of the street, causing the pedestrian behind her to shake his head crossly. This sounded foreboding. "What do you mean?"

"I haven't seen anyone since Momiji's birthday, but someone's been contacting me." The tone in which he used to speak made Tohru think of a sinister horror movie. Like there was some otherworldly being making contact with a human. Her eyes grew big.

"Kagura has been sending me all these home-cooked meals and snacks. I'm not sure how they get to Shigure's house, but they always do. It's scary."

"Are you sure it's her?" Relief flooded her. She thought Hatori was involved or hurt or something. Thank Kami it wasn't true. She cared for him so much…

"Oh I'm sure. She sends these cryptic messages with the food. I'd know that handwriting anywhere. We grew up together. I mean even my handwriting is a notch above hers, and that's saying something."

"Kyo Sohma! That' not a nice thing to say!" Tohru said with a huff. "You'd break her heart if she heard that."

"She's made of steel. And it's the honest truth. She knows it."

"It's sweet of her and you should appreciate it. Cooking out of love is really something special. You are witnessing it first hand. Besides, it probably tastes delicious."

"I wish. Her freshly made sesame crackers crumbled to dust in my hands. And her eel was smothered in the saltiest sauce ever! I'm not sure whether or not she intended to kill me or not. It will never live up to your cooking."

/

After hearing his final words, her eyes tear themselves apart from his dazzling eyes. It makes her feel guilty. And he continues, inadvertently making her feel even worse.

"I don't like her in the way she wants me to. She can't force me to love her, just like I can't make you fall in love with me…" His words trail off, like the end of a cliff, when he realizes that he forgot the filter on his mouth. He didn't mean to say that out loud. It was meant to live inside him, thrive like a disease.

He's been so cheery up until now. But it's not real. He's putting on a front for her. He's in a dark place. The woman he loves is a slave to sensation from another man. A man who is cold and unfeeling. It isn't fair.

And this raging realization comes to the surface.

He needs to know some facts, even if it's going to push him further into his dark hole.

"How often to you _need_ to sleep with him?" He places emphasis on the word _need_, because he can't fathom her being with him out of something other than necessity. His fragile heart won't accept that.

Tohru continues to stare at her scruffy sneakers. It's weird to share intimate details with her friend. Well, she's never been in this place before, but she thinks so. Especially since he's posed the question in such a crude manner.

But something in her brain tells her that will also ease her to finally tell someone. He's one of two other people besides Hatori that know about her secret condition. Saki is the other, but she's studying abroad this year. It isn't exactly comforting to talk about such private details through email or video chat.

So she hasn't really spoken to Saki about _that_.

But he's an opportunity to tell someone. To share her bliss. _I'm in a good place. I'm happy. I believe we really have something beyond the physical nature_. But she doesn't tell him her feelings from deep down. Because she can tell it hurts him to ask her these questions. She knows how he feels about her. And she's so very sorry that she can't reciprocate.

"These days I've kind of weaned off him. I c-can last almost a month without him."

"But do you?" He retorts back callously. A bit of spittle launched from his lips, landing right in front of my toes. Mocking.

What's he asking me?

"You're making me blush with your probing questions, Kyo." I reply shyly, trying to redirect the conversation elsewhere.

He lifts my chin so that I'm staring straight into his wild eyes. "Sorry, but I care for you. I don't want you to fall under the illusion that you're in love with him."

But what if I am? Why not? Is there something wrong about having feelings for him? My heart is caught in my throat in anticipation.

"Why?"

"Just don't. You don't know what you're getting yourself into. He's a broken man."

"But I've seen him change." I counter, defensively.

"It'll only regress."

"Why?" It was a question to Kyo. And a question to her predicament. Why did life throw this terrible fate at them all?

"He lost someone dear to him. He went to a very dark place after that."

"But he's good now, right?"

Kyo shrugs, acting all casual, and it's making me really angry. Don't throw this big conundrum at me! Answer me.

"For a cursed Sohma."

/

A/N: 3.24.13 - Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Love you all. Reviews are very berry welcome. Every time I see a notification in my inbox, I squee!

Tsukiakage: great that you saw the reference! Love you girl!

Kouga's older woman: you are not lowly. :3

Phenylephrine: Seriously, Hatori! Get your priorities straight! Oh, he's gonna get a taste of his medicine. Hehe.

Mcangel1976: Thanks! Haha, Shigure will come into the picture later. Bahaha.

Mackenziejen: Hehe, Hatori has never had such a flurry of so many different emotions. He doesn't know how to resolve anything. He'd better learn fast before he loses Tohru.

Onebluefairy: cute username! Thanks for reading my story, newbie! Please continue to review, love to hear your thoughts!

Guest: Thanks for your review! Glad u are enjoying. Hope I answered your question about what happened between K and H at the end of Chapter 26 here. Basically, their convo ended abruptly because she kept pursuing _that_ topic. Nothing physical has happened between them. _Yet_.

Traceless-Poison: Your comment made me laugh. Haha. Thanks for reviewing!


	29. Chapter 29: Terms of Endearment

**/ Woot, 7 reviews in a day! You guys deserve a quick update! (P.S. If more readers came out of the dark…)**

**Chapter 29: Terms of Endearment**

/

"_But I've seen him change." I counter, defensively._

"_It'll only regress."_

"_Why?"_

"_He lost someone dear to him. He went to a very dark place after that."_

"_But he's good now, right?"_

_Kyo shrugs, acting all casual, and it's making me really angry. Don't throw this big conundrum at me! Answer me!_

"For a cursed Sohma."

/

"What do you mean?"

"I think it would be best if you found out from him."

Pandora's box had been open. She _had_ to know. What "dark place" was Kyo referring to? Why had Hatori never mentioned it if it was as significant as Kyo made it out to be?

She still had not made much progress in learning about Hatori's past. Despite their frequent texts, when she brought that up, he was always very terse about it. And it made her feel uncomfortable to push for more.

But you are in a relationship with him! You deserve to know!

_I have to continue my efforts. Even if he turns me away, I will be patient. I will wait._

_Because I love him._

/

"Hey, they're are giving away 2 iPad minis!" Kyo called out as he ushered her over to a flashy booth.

The festival was in full bloom. Lots of people. Lots of entertainment. Lots of food. Since they were stuffed from the takoyaki, they headed straight for the fun stuff. But also being full, they didn't want to go on any of the rides. So they browsed booths. Lots of booths were giving away freebies, and Tohru had already smarted amassing a small collection of goodies – magnets, reusable grocery bags, keychains.

Reading the banner on the booth titled "Love 'Em or Leave 'Em", Tohru looked at Kyo quizzically. "The winner of the couple's game will win the iPads."

"Huh? What's a cupulsgame?" Of course, Kyo hadn't looked further than "winning" the prize.

"_Couples_, like boyfriend and girlfriend."

"Oh, couples." He looked down at his feet, sheepishly, deep in thought. "D-do you want to do it? The stakes are high…"

"Sure. It could be my last day of fun before I turn into a schoolwork zombie." Tohru replied cheerfully. "But what are our chances. I mean do we know enough about each other? Do you know anything about me?"

"You'd be surprised," he mumbled under his breath.

After Kyo paid for their entry fee, Tohru bowed profusely, promising to pay him back when they got home. "Don't sweat it." Was his only response. She took out a small pad of paper from her purse and wrote down a signed reimbursement receipt for him. He rolled his eyes at her, but was quite amused. An events coordinator gave them each a number sticker to adhere to their backs. As they waited, Tohru looked around at their competition. Surprisingly, there were some older couples in their thirties. _That's cute_, she thought. _I hope my significant other and I will be like that_.

"You're lucky I choose to wear sneakers today." She tells him, punching him softly in the shoulder.

"Welcome to Love 'Em or Leave 'Em Couples Event, folks. We have a bunch of interactive games planned for our contestants testing all aspects of a relationship – from knowledge to trust. Right now, there are 30 couples enrolled. There are seven rounds. The first round will eliminate eight couples immediately. Subsequent rounds will eliminate 4 couples until there are only two couples left. The winner will receive two iPad minis. Runner-up will receive a pair of tickets to Nagashima Spa Land Amusement Park. Also he winner of each round will receive a swag bag with various goodies given by our sponsors. All contestants will receive couples outfits. Thanks for your participation. Please cheer on our fellow contestants!" There was a coliseum style seating around them. It felt kind of strange – to be watched by all these strangers. She felt like a gladiator. Not a good thing.

"Let's do introductions first. One person from each couple please state your names, where you are from, and how long you've been together."

For them, Kyo did the introductions. He was surprisingly natural, well-rehearsed. _Four years_. Kyo was as smooth with his words as their landlord Mr. Shigure Sohma. Tohru simply gave a shy wave to the audience. While introductions were being done, chairs were being set up in a circle behind them.

"Let's get started. Round one is called 'Strum my Heartstrings Musical Chairs. We will play 8 rounds. If you or your significant other gets out, that pair is eliminated. Anything goes. No bodily harm. Guys, protect your woman!"

"Let the Hunger Games begin! Just kidding about the Hunger part." The host teased.

With some popular tunes playing the couples were slowly eliminated. Some played dirty. Lifting that chair from under them just as they were about to sit. Luckily they managed to stay in. Mostly due to Kyo's furtive tricks. He always managed to secure a seat for Tohru once the music stopped. Then he'd worry about "finding" a seat for himself. Which usually resorted in some man-tackle or a "Look, your girlfriend is out!" point in some arbitrary direction thereby distracting his opponent. Tohru felt bad, but she also felt her very small competitive streak come out to join his _big_ competitive streak. It was fun to watch.

"Onto the next round. There are 22 couples left. It is called Two to Tango Race. Half of the couples are up first. Then girls first. You will be blindfolded at the starting line. There are some obstacles on the playing field, but nothing that will hurt you. As you can see, they are made of foam. The objective is to get to the other side of the field without hitting any of the foam obstacles or the other contestants. If you do, please go back to the starting line and start over. Our referees will be watching for offenders. Your significant other will be at the sidelines guiding you. Follow his voice. This is a game of trust. Your time will be recorded. At the end of this round, the time of boyfriend and girlfriend will be totaled. The four couples with the slowest times will be eliminated."

Kyo whispered in her ear, "Just follow my voice. It's gonna be an octave higher so you can distinguish me from the rest of the guys."

Tohru nodded, a small smile slipping over her lips.

"Stop right there. Yes, there you go, baby. Now step to your right about ten centimeters." Tohru tried to ignore the high-pitched endearment. He was probably just playing a role.

They managed to secure the fifth fastest time. Tohru high-fived Kyo. Her face felt flushed in excitement and the beaming sun, despite the cooling weather.

"Congratulations to our 16 couples. Sorry to those two girls that hit each other accidently. Who do you guys think are better at giving instructions girls or boys?" He placed the mic out to gesture for the audience to respond. Based on the volume of the incoherent screaming responses, it seemed to be 50/50.

"The next round is called 'Baby, give me some sugar."

We have four tables set up. The guys will stand on one side and the girls on the other side, facing their SO. Between them, on the table will be two sweets. You will be blindfolded. Your task is to feed your SO the sweet. But you are not allowed to use your hands. Good luck. Coordinators, please blindfold our contestants."

Tohru started to panic once the host said 'Go.' "Uh Kyo, how do we do this?"

"I'll feed you first." He bent his head down to the table to find the treat. His nose knocked against a plastic wrapped object. "Oh great, how are we gonna open this." He muttered. Using his lips, he figured out that there was a zipper. Good. Otherwise, it was going to be near impossible unless he had scissors for teeth.

"Tohru, use your cheek to hold down this bag while I unzip it."

"Okay." Following his voice, she leaned down to secure the bag against the table.

"Can you try to push the dessert out?"

He could smell that it was chocolate. Her favorite. And to feed it to her without his hands, he was going to have to use his mouth. _Gulp_. That was the furthest thing from his mind right now. He did not need that. He wanted it, sure, but if couldn't have her completely, he didn't want those carrot dangling in front of him, taunting him.

He sunk his teeth gently into the chocolate bar and spoke though muffled words for Tohru to bring her mouth to his and take it from him. In some perverse way, it was her 'kissing' him. At least he could live with a memory that something had transpired between them. Use this memory during his nights alone.

Tohru took it from him, with the barest of meeting of lips. She tried to tell herself that it was innocent. But from her heightened sense of hearing, she could tell he was breathing heavily. He was affected. And she admitted she was a little turned on. The blindfolds. The heightened senses. The creamy filling inside the chocolate. This was downright sinful!

After a repeat of the actions, they were done.

"Kyo and Tohru are tenth to finish. Still in the game! Midoka and Shouji are…"

The announcer's voice trailed off in Tohru's head. She'd just kissed Kyo. Was this betrayal? She would tell Hatori as soon as possible to avoid any misunderstandings.

The next round called 'Building a Solid Foundation' involved using only newspapers and masking tape to build a table that could hold up a textbook for at least 5 seconds. There were specific specifications. They managed to finish second to last. There table kept collapsing at 4 seconds, to which Kyo had shouted a litany of unrepeatable words. The audience seemed to like him and his aggressive stage persona.

It was down to 10 couples for "And Baby Makes Three" which involved using anything but their hands to get a balloon to the finish line without popping. They did it astoundingly fast.

In Round 6 of "Cheeky Charades" with Tohru as the instructor, Kyo managed to guess seven words in five minutes. These words included "Honey" "Hug" "Star-crossed" "French Kiss" (which made her very embarrassed and Kyo burst out in a uncontrollable fit of laughter at her attempts) "White Day" "shoujo" "Love at First Sight"

Unfortunately they got the fewest words. Dejectedly, they started to walk toward the sidelines before the host spoke up.

"My superiors are telling me that this has been the most entertaining bunch in the latest eight years that this has been happening. We'd like to keep the final 6 couples for the final "Know Thy Mate" round.

Each couple will sit facing the question board. There will be a divider between them they can't cheat. Guys will answer first. Girls will put their own answers on the board. When the time is up, girlfriend and boyfriend will lift the boards to the audience. Those two couples that get the most questions right will win our big prizes."

_Name two of my closest friends_. The board in front of them read, writing down two names on the white board.

_Saki and Arisa_. He wrote on the whiteboard in nearly illegible handwriting.

_What do I do during my time off_?

"Cook." He wrote.

"Learn new recipes." She wrote. Close enough. Good.

_If your significant other where an animal, what would he/she be_.

Cat. Tohru prayed that he'd write this down.

_Favorite foreign movie_.

Leon.

_Favorite dessert_.

Red bean mochi.

_Where'd you meet_?

Shigure's house.

In the second part, it was Tohru's turn to answer the same questions about Kyo.

Yuki and Manabe.

Martial arts.

Cat

Oldboy

Jelly roll

Forest.

Finally they were done with the questions. Eagerness thumping in their hearts because they were so close to winning. They could almost taste it.

"The scores are in. The runner-up answered 11 out of 12 questions. Congratulations Kyo Sohma and Tohru Honda! Please come on up!"

Slightly saddened, Tohru had to be dragged up to claim their prize. What went wrong?

_It's my fault_.

The expression on his face was one of pure happiness, _like the cat that got the cream_. He was proud of them. It seemed like role reversal. He should be the one angry that they didn't win the big prize. But he wasn't. It was most likely Tohru's doing. He was so calm and happy with her. Like time stopped. It was only them.

_It's my fault. I'll have to ask him later_.

"Winner and runner up, please come have you individual couple photos taken for our winner board. Silly poses welcome."

In his glee, Kyo lifted Tohru up (careful not to trigger the curse) for their photo op. Normally, like the rest of the Juunishi (except Shigure), he hated having his photo taken. But this occasion seemed right.

"Here's some tape. Put it on the board and sign it." Said a petite woman after their Polaroid picture came out.

"Go ahead, I have to tie my shoelaces." Kyo said.

"Okay."

Tohru approached the board. And looked at all the beaming couples. _I wonder how many of them are real_. I mean I should be glad our non-couple made it this far.

And then her eyes caught a familiar face.

Runner up: 2006 Kana and Hatori Sohma. It was in a neat scrawl. Hatori was standing facing the camera, and Kana was on her side, leaning up to peck him on the cheek sweetly. Tohru couldn't really see her face. But she didn't care about her face. She was staring at Hatori's face. It made her heart clench. He didn't wince like he sometimes did with her. He looked completely at ease. His face was unlined. Free.

Despite not being related, they have the same last name. Making them seem like they are married.

Hatori did this with her. So willingly.

They were in love.

/

**A/N:** 3.24.2013 – Hatori lets his guard down before?! Ugh! Sorry these chapters lately have not been focused on them. But I believe in the next chapter they are going back to the vacation house. (Unless I decide to shove something else in mehehe)

Couples games sound so fun, eh?

"Strum my Heartstrings Musical Chairs"

"Two to Tango Race"

"Baby, give me some sugar"

"Building a Solid Foundation"

"And Baby Makes Three"

"Cheeky Charades"

"Know Thy Mate"

Which one is your favorite?

This 'outing' seems insignificant, but it's making Tohru assess her relationship with Hatori. Will he ever be able to let his guard down to do something silly like a couples game (he did it with Kana, darn it!)? Will they ever be able to go out in public like a normal couple?

Tohru is so innocent. She's gonna tell Hatori about that not-really-a-kiss thing. Poor Tohru. Doesn't know Hatori harbors a big secret.

The game 'Building a Solid foundation' is from the TV show New Girl.

/

Mcangel1976: Haha u are such a Kyo hater. Sadly, he's in no position to start anything. So you're in luck.

Guest: Thanks girl! Hope your writing is coming along. What do you write? Fruits Basket?

Kouga's older woman: I agree, but he can't let go…

Phenylephrine: Poor Kyo. Receives no love from Tohru. But at least we know he'll always be there for her. :) Don't worry, Hatori is gonna get his just deserts. As for the peeper, it will take a while to come up. Hehe. Glad you are curious.

Kris11993: Hey newbie! All Sohma men = yummy. Hehe potions having loopholes. Don't we all wish :) Thanks so much for your encouragement.

Miaboo011: Missed u for a bit, glad you're back! :) Haha about the watching ur back while at the computer. That brought a smile to my face. Thanks for reading girl! Unfortunately, I won't be able to satisfy your request in the last line… for a while. He's a hot mess.

Traceless-Poison: Awww, puppy eyes. I'm tempted, but I shall continue to torture. :) Muwhaha. Love ya!


	30. Chapter 30: Confession

/

**Chapter 30: Confession **

/

"What's up? You look like you've seen a ghost."

In a sense, I have. A ghost of the past. A reminder that I'm not his first love. I will never hold that place in his heart. But I've fallen too far. This isn't just a fleeting crush. This is desperation. Because I'm desperately in love with him. Infatuated, even.

And I will probably never have his full love.

Kyo's hand waving in front of my stricken face snaps me back to reality. "I'm fine." I reply monotonously.

"You are not as cheerful as I am! We almost won! And second place ain't so bad."

"Yeah," I reply wistfully, feeling bad for wishing that it had been Hatori.

"Hey Kyo, what did you answer for the last question, about where we met?"

"We met at Shigure's house. Why? Isn't that what you wrote?"

"Uh, no. That's probably where we lost. I wrote the forest."

"Remember you were living in the forest, but you got sick, and Yuki and Shigure took you in. We met there."

"Oh, right." I'm so scatterbrained.

"C'mon, let's get something to eat. I'm starving."

/

As they stood in a very long line for katsu-don, a couple backed into them, specifically Tohru.

Tohru was shoved forward into a garbage can, a clang sounding through the air. Several people in the line turned back to look at the girl they assumed was a klutz.

"Hey watch it, asshole!" Kyo shouted irately. He was glaring at the careless couple sucking face. Upon hearing his voice, they removed themselves from each other's grasps. The guy was tall and muscular. He had spiked bleach blond hair, like a character straight out of an anime.

"What'd you say?" He said in a gruff, baritone voice, moving close to Kyo. His hard body loomed over Kyo's. The girlfriend stood back, watching, as if the kissing had temporarily removed her brain cells. Her lips were red and swollen.

"You bumped into my - - Tohru." He hesitated, almost saying girlfriend. But he knew Tohru wouldn't be happy to hear that.

"So – the – fuck – _what_?"

/

I grab hold of Kyo's tense bicep and try to pull him away. I whisper, "It's okay."

He twists his arm out of my hold. "I want you to apologize to her."

"Fuck off."

"No, you bastard. When you push a girl into a garbage can, you apologize to her." He demanded. His hands are clenched into tight fists. Knowing his personality, I know he is about to blow.

And the other guy isn't too far off either. His girlfriend has her arms crossed over her shoulder and a smug look on her face, as if to say_, My boyfriend's gonna pummel your boyfriend. Bring it on_.

So much for a girl alliance.

"Really Kyo. It's no big deal," I say through gritted teeth. I happen to step in front of them at just the wrong moment. A punch from the other guy lands on my shoulder, knocking me to the ground. I land on my butt, the ache making me draw in a sharp intake of air. _Ouch_.

Immediately, Kyo crouches beside me and brushes the side of my face with the rough pad of his thumb. "Oh Kami, are you alright?"

"Yeah." _More like, as fine as I'm ever be, given that a very muscular man just punched me_. He gets to his feet and faces the perpetrator and does an impressive roundhouse kick to the guy's chest, which manages to push him back, his arms flailing. The blond maintains his balance, but I can see that he is visibly shocked. Kyo doesn't have the same muscle mass, but he's no lightweight either, training with Kazuma almost everyday. "Apologize." He says through clenched teeth.

"Fuck. I'm sorry." He says. More to himself for underestimating Kyo's ability than to me.

"Now get the fuck away from us." Kyo says with an air of finality.

The guy grabs his girlfriend and stalks off without another look. He moves awfully fast.

Kyo returns to my side, running his hand through his hair in exasperation. "I'm sorry Tohru."

I momentarily forget my pain. _Wow_. He's never been one to apologize. Just like the rest of the Sohmas. Always strong-willed. He's changed though.

Why hasn't someone else?

Why is _my_ someone still lost into a perpetual dark hole?

/

After we finish our katsu-don, we walk into an alleyway. "I think we can get to Kiyohime Avenue from here."

And of course, I am under a dark cloud. Kiyohime. Mythical story of a woman who transformed into a serpent demon after the priest she fell in love with rejected her.

Unrequited love.

Will this be my fate?

/

A sound of a very close motorcycle makes me jolt. The roar of the engine is amplified between the tall structures all around us, seeming to bounce off the walls into my ears. I'm afraid of being mowed down. And then I see it. Luckily Kyo's cat reflexes push us against the brick wall as the motorcycle rushes past.

"Thank you," I say breathlessly, expecting him to move away. But he doesn't. I'm still pressed against the wall, his palm flat on the wall, his arm stretched beside my face. He's looking at me again with an intensity that forces me to look away.

"I have something that I've been meaning to tell you for a long time. I haven't been able to come up with the right words. I'm not a literary scholar, but here goes. I can't hold it in anymore. I know you can't accept me at this time, but… still. You have to know.

When you came into my life, you opened up my empty book. I had been an angry, resentful shell of a boy before you. You filled my life with joy. You opened me up. Even when I was a monster, you endured me." He motioned to his Juzu beads bracelet. "You didn't run away from me in disgust like everyone else did. You believed that I wasn't just hopeless tragedy. You showed me a life worth living, and for that I am forever indebted to you." _I love you_. He wanted to say. Three small words he had practiced saying over and over again. But when it meant the most, he couldn't. Because it would break him to hear her formal rejection.

He just couldn't face that.

Not when everyone else had done it. Rejected him.

A red stain blossomed on her cheeks. "Ah, no don't be. I haven't done anything special." She started to bow her head in an awkward way to expel her anxiety.

"But you have. You've built me back up to a semi-decent person. If you gave me a chance…" He trailed off, chewing on his lower lip in his typical worried fashion.

"I would take care of you _always_."

_Always_. Even after all the things I've done, you still want me?

I send him a wan smile. All his kindness is misplaced. I'm nothing. I'm worthless. I tried to stop a fight and only ended up hurt. I was the reason we didn't win the iPads.

I'm so useless.

"Thank you."

_But I can't love you, Kyo. I'm so sorry._

_At least, not now when I pine for someone else_.

/

_**The following weekend at the vacation house.**_

"Dammit, I forgot the remote!"

No, it can't be. I need this so badly. It's been too long. It's Saturday afternoon.

Seeing the distress on my face he touches my cheek gently. "It's not a problem. Come with me."

We park the car in the trees and I follow him along the stone wall that lines the property. There is a spiked iron border. I don't think anyone could get in. He stops in the middle of some overgrown shrubs and crouches down to the ground and feels around the dirt beside the wall. This small part of the wall doesn't have the spiked bars. He finds a J shaped tool in the dirt. With heavy force, he swings it over the wall and maneuvers it around until it clangs against metal. Then, like magic, he pulls over a ladder. His hand gestures for me to go first. "Be careful of the metal barbs. There's a wooden ladder on the other side."

He buries the crow bar-like tool before climbing the ladder. When it reaches the top, he pulls the metal ladder over to its original place.

"We used to take a bus here and climb in that way."

I nod in acknowledgement. Despite his sheltered youth, he had a lot of advantages that others didn't. The wealth of the Sohma family afforded them to experience a different kind of life. They traveled, owned homes in several prefectures, and had the best of everything. I don't envy them, but I've always wondered what it was like.

Hatori finds a key under a terra cotta flower pot near the back door. And they he walks past the garden.

"Where are you going?"

"This key is for the guest house."

"Guest house?"

"It's overgrown with vines, so you probably didn't notice it. It's just a one-bedroom where the old Kouta lived when he took care of the property."

"There's a spare key to the main house in there. Pretty tricky to leave the spare key near the main house, but it actually opens this door."

We enter the small house. Hatori fumbles for a light switch which flickers before it turns on. It's literally one room. The walls are yellowing, peeling. Along one wall is a tiny stove, large basin sink, an old fridge, and a cart that acts as a portable counter. There is a small sitting area and table. On the opposite wall there is a bed with a tiny nightstand. The room is very neat. But I get shivers. Because the last person to reside here is dead.

"I feel kind of scared."

"Don't worry about it. Ayame's stayed here on a "spiritual retreat last year. Nothing lurking."

"Where's the bathroom?"

"There is a small deck outside. There's an outdoor shower and toilet."

"Okay."

Despite it's small size. It's quaint. Kouta took good care of it.

"Here's the key," Hatori says out from the kitchen area. I'm not sure where he found the key, but I don't bother to ask.

/

After dinner, Tohru and Hatori sit cross-legged on the ground playing Jinsei Game (Japanese version of The Game of Life).

"What?! I have a baby girl right out of college? I'm not even married!"

"Hey at least you aren't an Office Lady."

"I got into a car accident!" Hatori replied several moves later."

"Woot, salary raise!" Tohru said.

"Why'd I have to get this decrepit house? It's like torn in half." Hatori said dolefully.

"You're a fixer-upper. I'm sure you can fix it up. My baby daughter and I are homeless." Tohru said.

"I can't believe it! I inherit money?" Tohru says happily. "Life is looking up."

"Hey Mister, no counting ahead!"

"I have to weigh my options."

"No fair! It's supposed to be fate!"

Her words echo in his mind.

/

"Tohru, I'd like to get you started on birth control pills." Hatori said clinically after the three hour long game.

Tohru's eyes widen in surprise.

He hands her over a thin container. "This is a pack of 28 pills. At the same time everyday, take a pill. Do not miss a day."

"How l-long does it take to become eff-effective?"

"To be safe, one month. Understood?"

"Hai."

"I'm going to take a shower. Settle in." He says coolly. He's exhausted from the entertaining game he dug up from the closet, and his ribs ache from all the laughter. With so much on his mind, he needs a good cleanse.

/

"Hatori, I have something to tell you."

As usual, he doesn't say anything. He only gives me a nod as if to say, Continue.

"Kyo and I went to a festival in downtown last weekend. There was a couples' event and we participated. There was this part where we had to open a bag with chocolate using only our faces. And we accidently kissed, I mean our lips barely touched, but I felt the need to tell you. I want to be honest with you." _No more misunderstandings_.

/

A/N: 3.27.2013 - Smut in next chapter! Will be up by the weekend!

Any fun spring break plans?

Love to hear your thoughts!

Miaboo011: "Be still my beating heart" – awwww! So cute. Thanks for the review dear!

Onebluefairy: yay, you're back! Really poor Kyo. Even when his little hurt is crushed, he can't help but hold a torch for Tohru.

Guest: Thanks as always! Ooo, Song Lyrics? Romantic, angsty, slice of life? Hmm-mmm… very cool.

Savethesalmon: haven't heard u from in a long while… YAY! The contest isn't based off one particular thing, but collected/inspired by the Asian talk show games I've seen/games I like. They play the coolest games. (I loved this one: teams of boy/girl. Girl has to peel apple and see who can peel the longest piece. Meanwhile the guy has to whisper sweet nothings in her ear. It's so funny.) Long chapters, eh? This one is 2k. Was gonna be longer with beginnings of smut, but I added some important stuff in here. :)

Kouga's older woman: One of my earliest supporters, I thank u for being there!

Mcangel1976: Thanks for ur review! Glad you liked the baby give me some sugar game. Seriously, Hatori's past is coming to haunt Tohru! The tree carving… to now!


	31. Chapter 31: Cat and Mouse

/ Thank you for all the support… so happy… quick update… love you all! Warning: Explicit Lemons!

**Chapter 31: Cat and Mouse**

/

"Kyo and I went to a festival in downtown last weekend. There was a couples' event and we participated. There was this part where we had to open a Ziploc bag with chocolate inside using only our faces. And we acc-accidently kissed, I mean our lips barely touched, but I felt the need to tell you. I want to be honest with you." _No more misunderstandings_.

/

"I don't care," he replies gruffly, collapsing on the bed beside her, his hair still wet from his shower. She can't help but notice the water droplets that hang in his black hair like small diamonds, twinkling at her.

Tohru is relieved by his reaction, but saddened all the same. He completely doesn't care that she'd come into close contact with another guy? Did he trust her than much, or did he just not care at all?

_I need to stop looking into things so deeply. I don't need to worry. I love him_.

His hand strokes down the side of her body, melting all her doubts. The look in his molten eyes is inscrutable.

_It's been too long_.

Schoolwork has been almost impossible to focus on these past few days. She'd been so eager. Needy.

All her self-conscious worries and doubts flee her in this moment. All she desires is his touch.

She takes his hand and runs it languorously over her heated body, shivering under the coolness of his fingertips. When she places his palm flat against her breast, his fingers curl around the swell of her mound possessively. There is a certainty in her eyes that relaxes him. She's beautiful and self-assured in her current state. With tender care, he caresses the underside of her enticing breasts with his fingers. Then, his thumb teases her nipple until it hardens and darkens under his steady ministrations. He watches in awe, it's like a flower bud blossoming. _Mine_. When her sensitive buds become painfully tight points of need, he leans in to blow across her skin sinfully, causing her to arch her back into him. His actions draw a hum of ecstasy from her lips. In her rapture, she pulls his hand to her chest, holding it like her life depends on it. Letting him feel how fast her heart beats for him. _Only him_. In turn, he is lost in a trance. _Her_ trance.

"Need you," he says huskily.

It's all she needs to dissolve her qualms for now.

/

Guided by Tohru, his hands move past her bellybutton, past her angular hips to a privileged place, a place only he knows, has touched, has tasted. When he realizes where his fingers have traveled, he involuntarily closes his fist. Modesty hitting him like a sack of coal. Unfettered by his sudden reticence, Tohru boldly opens his hand again. She brings his index finger up to her lips, kisses it with the slightest touch at the tip. This sight unnerves him. She so utterly delectable and sweet and fully his. He can feel himself twitch in response. _Mine_. Her mouth curls into a pretty smirk, like she's got him eating out of the palm of her hand. When she puts his finger into the cavern of her hot mouth and sucks from the base to the tip slowly, he watches, mesmerized. This action mimics another one. His breath is hitched. This is better than any fantasy.

Without further teasing, she guides his hand back to that sacred place and dips his index finger into the damp place between her legs. Once again, modesty is no match for her curse. Using his long finger, she traces the length of her sex, so deprived of his touch. She continues to watch him with her lust-filled eyes. She wants to memorize this. _Him_.

He itches to dominate his beauty, to coax pleasure from her finely attuned body, to have her screaming his name. But he holds back, torturing himself by playing this dangerous game of foreplay. But it only makes him crave her more.

She relaxes her grasp on his hand, and his roughened fingers are about to find her clit and tease. But before she loses her resolve and lets him pleasure her, she pulls back the reins.

Hatori's soft groan of disapproval emboldened Tohru. She's not the only one who needs this. But she needs to _know_. She lets his hand fall away. His emerald eyes reflect his confusion. But with his infinite patience, he stares back at her, waiting for her next instruction.

"Show me that you _feel_."

Her words pierce him like a dagger straight through his heart. Is he still a tin man to her Dorothy?

His eyes take her in, drinking in her form – the rise and fall of her breasts, her slightly parted lips, her taut body kneeling beside him on the bed. Her patience contradicts the flurry of desire inside her. But she can wait if it means getting him to demonstrate that he needs this too. Realizing her intention only drives him to the edge. Hatori groans in aggravation and anticipation.

Two can play this game.

He moves, leaning in to kiss her lips, taking advantage of her shock by slipping his tongue between her lips. Soon, their mouths are moving against each other in desperation, discovery, and desire. With a final kiss at the corner of her mouth, he pulls away.

Tohru cannot bear it. The sudden lack of his warmth, his moist lips, his hands.

Despite the delirium that has settled in her head, she retains her control. She pushes him down to the mat, lifts her leg swiftly over his thigh, and straddles him, her nudity against the strictness of his slacks. His mouth falls open in disbelief.

She nudges herself against his need, oblivious to the effect she has on him. She smiles smugly that she has him trapped underneath her, without struggle. But it isn't enough. She's going to tease him until he admits it.

She sits securely over his thighs and slowly loosens his belt before pulling it through, loop by loop. His heart is racing as he watches her, her hot, red tongue peeking out of the corner of her mouth. This visual will be seared into his brain for future lonely nights. It's too erotic, his woman straddling him, removing his pants with a look of pure determination - indulgent, glorious. A groan of arousal erupts from his throat. She looks up from her slow, deliberate removal of his pants. The zipper is half down. There is a suggestive smile plastered across her pretty face.

Holding his gaze, she removes herself from him, kneeling once again, watching for him to make the next move.

"Please… do you know what you are doing to me?" He swallows thickly. He can't take it anymore. He's straining for release.

She shakes her head mischievously, knowing exactly what he's feeling from the way his boxer-briefs are tented. But she will stay put.

She wants him to come to her.

He can't hold back anymore.

No more teasing. No more games. No more thinking.

Only feeling. Let it wash away his guilt.

He captures her shoulders in his arms, stilling her. His eyes drink in her charming face. He stares into her chocolate eyes as if to say, _I'm sorry_.

He's met Kana again for coffee. This time planned. She has his number. She called him. She said she needed someone to talk to. Her voice sounded frantic. He was there in a heartbeat. Ignoring any of Akito's rules.

In this long month, he had not seen Tohru. Yet he had seen Kana twice.

_I'm sorry._

_Forgive me._

He pushes her down into the mat and quickly takes his rigid shaft out of his boxer briefs. It's angry looking and engorged. _He_ needs her.

He slips on a condom quickly.

His hand moves between her legs and parts her. His fingers push inside to feel that she is slick and ready. He wants to feel her around him, pulsing, writhing, screaming. He wants her to push out all negative thoughts from his mind. Even if only for a short time.

Without another word, he grabs her thighs and wraps them around his hips and pushes fully into her. He belongs here. Inside her. When he reaches as far as he can, he stills. So deep. So tight. Reveling in that sensation of her walls gripping him so firmly.

But the need becomes unbearable, she squirms below him, frantically. Her head falls back in ecstasy. Her eyes shut so tightly, it's almost as if she can squeeze tears out. Sweet mercy, how can she ever leave this?

She feels full.

Complete.

"Open your eyes." He commands as he starts to thrust into her.

She obliges, fixing her eyes on his, seeing the stormy need that rivals her own. _Does he want me as much as I want him_?

He plows into her so deeply, and soon, she can feel the onset of an orgasm. It's within reach. His cock is rubbing along her hard clit just right. With a sudden sharp intake of air, she comes around his shaft, writhing beneath him. She's seeing stars.

She immediately feels the effects of the curse lift.

She feels free. Carefree. Happy. Clear minded.

She immediately clenches her thighs to offset that usual painful tenderness that follows an orgasm, squeezing him to the point of no return. That dangerous precipice. The lower half of his body is pressed against hers firmly. He's situated firmly inside her.

When her body movements have completely ceased after riding the aftershocks of her orgasm, he begins again. To exploit his own desire, giving himself over to his senses. She can feel the come and go of his warm breath on her neck as he pistons in and out of her. His pace builds, gathering momentum. When she closes her eyes again, he doesn't tell her to open them.

"Tohru!" He cries, his neck tilted back in agony and ecstasy as he explodes. His orgasm ripples through him like a violent tide, drowning out all his thoughts except for the one of her. His movements slow down, until he slackens, but doesn't remove himself from her. This is too perfect.

He wants time to stop.

Here.

Now.

He presses his lips against her shoulder. "Thank you." My precious Tohru. You make me forget everything.

When he finally pulls out of her, he feels sated. Completely drained, he falls beside her, his heart rate returning back to normal. His eyes are closed, cherishing this moment.

/

A/N: 3.29.2013 (New day! Haha, a little past midnight for me, barely the 29th) - Pent-up feelings. Time to deal with reality soon…

Love all my readers.

Happy Easter if I don't get another chapter out by then!

ArabellaWhitlock: Very cool username. Too bad Hatori didn't get jealous here. But he will be jealous soon. Glad that you expressed your feelings about Hatori, I agree. I feel so bad for Tohru. She's so sweet and honest. Thanks for the review! Hope to hear more from ya!

Phenylephrine: Oh, he shall. Wait and see. Tee-hee.

Kouga's Older Woman: Love you!

Onebluefairy: YAY! Thanks for your support. Haha, 'Hatori needs to get with it'. He's so smart, but baka (!) at the same time.

Guest: Hey! Ugh Hatori, still keeping secrets! And another secret meeting with Kana… lies, lies, lies! Lyrics – they have to be simple, but convey a lot… agree, not easy.

Miaboo011: Hehe, hope u were not in church for this chapter. Loved ur last line. –sends Kyo over to you to be comforted-

Traceless-Potion: I know, Tohru is such a sweetheart. She's so kind and thoughtful. She deserves better than he is giving her right now.

Kris11993: Hey newbie! Haha, bi-polar. Yes. The men are changing without noticing… Nice conclusion about the birth control. Didn't think about it that way, but I like your realization. Hehe, you are Hatori's conscience. Thank you!

Current stats: 172 Reviews, 19 Favs, 32 Followers, 8754 Hits! Thanks!


	32. Chapter 32: Almost

/ Warning: SMUT! I got 10 reviews for the previous chapter. I am so happy. Thanks! Nearly 3K words.

Disclaimer: Don't own Fruits Basket.

**Chapter 32: Almost**

/

Muted sunlight trickles into the bedroom as Tohru stretches her sore body with feline grace, oblivious to the man lying awake beside her. She can feel the tenderness of her sex, as well as the stickiness that has pooled there after last night's activities. It rendered her completely sated and tired. She feels like a lazy cat basking in the warmth of the morning sun.

The comforter falls off her legs, to Hatori's delight. He can never get enough of her lithe body. And the fact that he's had another deep, untroubled sleep. When she sleeps by his side, his night is peaceful. No more nightmares of the past. No more cries in the night, thrashing in his bed so hard the headboard hits against the wall. He never wants to be alone again.

As his eyes drift over her thighs, he notices something and bolts upright. Hatori's finger pads press forcefully against her thighs, pulling it toward him to get a closer look. "What is this?" He asks, with a dark undertone of anger.

Tohru looks down to where he is looking at and sees him pointing to the sprawling greenish-yellow large bruise from her garbage can incident at the festival the previous weekend. It's in the later stages of healing. But his hands pressing against the outskirts of the bruise send pin-pricks of painful sensation coursing through her. She tries not to react.

"I-I fell into, I mean onto a garbage can."

"Why didn't you tell me?"_ I wouldn't have been so rough with you last night_.

I didn't think you'd care. I mean you didn't care what happened between Kyo and I... this is insignificant to that... but she doesn't say it in those words. She doesn't want him to think that she'd become so hung-up on some trivial matter. No one wants to hear about a 20 year old girl's insecurities. Especially not a smart, handsome doctor.

"It-it's nothing."

He doesn't ask for further details. Instead, his face is plastered with his unreadable mask. "No labor from you today." He says in a direct manner, tilting his head up in snobbish way as if to suggest there will be no negotiation.

"But there's a lot to do! I was too lazy to scrub the ovens last time. I also saw some dust bunnies under the desk in the other room... and-and there were cobwebs and mildew in the cellar, we'll probably have to go to the store to pick up some-"

Hatori puts his index finger on her lips and whispers, "Shhh. No more work. A girl like you should not be too overworked." _You do too much for us already._

"I'm not some helpless maiden in a fantasy that needs to be saved by a dragon!" She cries out defiantly. It isn't until she utters the words brashly that she realizes the truth in those words. _Dragon_.

It was just one of the facets of himself that he hates. Hatori is far from a noble dragon. He is a weak, spineless seahorse.

Far from his ideal form.

If she knew about his meetings with Kana, albeit innocent, she would be heartbroken. He couldn't break it off with Kana, nor could he tell her. He is stuck at an impossible crossroad.

But he'll just let the web of deceit continue to grow. He is in a constant maelstrom.

But in his passion-fueled state, the word _dragon_ only incites him again. His groin grows warm with expectancy of the most primal need.

"Dragon, you say?" He breathes sultrily across her ear, sending fiery shivers down her body. His voice is like honey, deliciously rich, the words melting her.

She nods bashfully.

_I am your dragon. But it's not you who needs to be saved, it's me. I've fallen so far off the beaten tracks. You've found me, brought me back to life_.

"I want to ravish you." He grunts. This is a line taken straight out of Shigure's novels. He doesn't even know where it came from. It just rolls off his tongue. Unsure of how to respond to his straightforward intent, Tohru blushes a beet red, looking away from his darkened gaze.

The curse was temporarily appeased as of last night. But now it is purely her feminine needs that are full fledged, throbbing for him.

He moves toward the lower half of her body, until he is kneeling beside her before carefully peeling away her panties. She lifts her legs so he can remove them from her legs. His fingers purposefully trace her silken skin languorously, making her quiver all over._ Kami, I need him all over again. I can't get enough of him_.

Feeling the chill of the air, she clenches her legs together. Her mind tries to force her body to resist his charm. She doesn't want to give him the satisfaction of thinking she is putty in his hands.

But as always, her resolve gives way to her needs. He pries her legs open again, screaming '_Mine_' in his head. This possessive attitude stems from the fact that he is her first. Always will be.

She was pure and innocent before him.

His to possess.

His to teach and care for.

His to...

_Don't do this to me! Her mind screams. Don't break me down and abandon me. Don't tease me into submission, only to tell me that you don't love me. That your heart will never belong to me. Because I can't possibly build myself up again. Without you. You are the only one who can make me feel complete_.

He moves swiftly behind her and draws her back against his thumping chest, hard. His strong hands grip her arms, trapping her tightly against him. She can feel the rise and fall of his chest, hear his shallow breathing near her ear. This is the closest he can get to her. Feel her. It's almost as if they are one entity like this. From behind her, he begins to unbutton her shirt. At first, he fumbles slightly, unable to get the flat disc out of the slit, but soon he learns and before she knows it, the fabric has been parted. He is in the power position - fully dressed and composed. And she is looking like a wanton mess. Naked, flushed, and needy.

The cold air wafts over her exposed breasts and across the planes of her sensitive body. It's freezing in the room right now. The heater must have turned off itself overnight. He pulls the material off her shoulders and kisses her shoulder. Unable to see him she is caught unaware and bucks in his grasp like a wild horse. "It's okay, it's okay." He says between whispers as he kisses the ridge of her shoulder to the curve of her neck. His arousal prods against her. He is just as primed as she is._ It's okay for me to let go, because he wants this too_.

His strong hands cup her breasts, his long fingers graze her nipples. It's only a feather-light touch, but it's acute to her senses and causes her to cry out softly, in which he then tugs on her puckered flesh. A tight, concentrated pinpoint of sensation is sent straight to her core which swells with desperate need. When she steadies herself, she watches his hands move stealthily across her skin. She is thankful he is behind her. Holding her in his grasp. Because there is no doubt she would have topped over without him, too weak, almost boneless under his careful strokes. He's like a sculptor, molding her. She's also grateful that he can't see her. It's broad daylight. She doesn't want him to see her like this - pure, unadulterated lust.

Her throat burns with the need to scream, but instead, she bites down on her lower lip to stop herself, almost drawing blood.

The heated place between her legs grows wet with need. And it's like he can read her mind. His hands curl around her thighs, careful to not touch the sore, bruised flesh and gently tugs her legs apart. She responds instantly, spread before him, splayed, ready. Her head is thrown back against his chest when he reaches down to touch her clit. It stings with need, but she is dry there. Knowing her body oh-so-well, he slips his finger into her channel to gather some pooling lust. It was wet, throbbing, and so tight. He could stay there forever, feeling the sensation her her vaginal walls milking him. But alas, he removes his fingers from her, returning to her hot needy clit and rubs it in slow, languid circles.

His other hand encircles her waist, bracing her against him. This is the only way he can truly feel. It's not just about getting his own pleasure, but feeling hers as well. It gives him satisfaction to know that he's causing her to mewl, squirm, twist.

She's never felt such abandonment and lust and desire in her clear-minded state. Her inability to see him has heightened her other senses. There is a sense of mystery. The unknown. She can hear his soft breathes come out in heady puffs behind her. She can feel every part of him against her, yearning. For her? Yes.

For her.

His tongue strikes out to lick her the top of her spine, the vertebra protruding out. _I need to care for her. She works too hard. She doesn't eat enough_. He feels responsibility for this beautiful woman who has done so much for him, brought him out of his personal hell hole. It's not just the need to possess her, but the need to care for her. Responsibility is a word he's known all his life. The responsibility of taking care of the younger Sohma generation. The responsibility as a doctor. The responsibility as a memory reaper.

And now the responsibility as a man.

A man tells the truth to the woman he...

...

cares for.

He pushes this thought to the dim recesses of his mind. _Not now_. Not all those swirling headache-inducing thoughts of _that_, right now. Having to chose between two prospects... that talk with Shigure... his secret meetings...

Kana...

Tohru...

The focused attention on her tight bud draws out soft moans from her as her body undulates responsively in small waves, grinding back against him causing his own need to intensify. His lips are once again dropping reverent kisses across the slope of her shoulders. Her body strains against his, desperate for rapturous release. He plunges his finger inside her - hot, slick bliss - before drawing it back up to finger her wondrously responsive nub.

"Hold me." He says in a low growl. Her unsure hands first grasp his thighs which are on either side of hers, barricading her in his all-consuming hold. But that's not what he wants. He wants her fingers clawing at him, leaving small indents in his skin. _To feel_.

His hard length nestles between their bodies, straining for the tight clutch of her sex.

But not until she achieves her satisfaction will he enter her.

Her body begins to move quicker to create more friction against his finger. She is on the verge of sobbing, so desperate for release. And then, her orgasm rips through her, sending her over the edge. Her shattered cries are torn from her parched lips, her eyes shut as the ecstasy pulses through her. When her body sinks into his as her orgasm finishes, she says in a small voice, "I think I love you." Those five words render him speechless. She's baring her heart for him.

And all he can do is take it like the greedy bastard he is. Soak it in like a sponge, with nothing else to give in return.

His body immediately turns rigid._ You're keeping secrets from her. Tell her the truth now. She'll be angry, but at least you're being honest. Do it now to soften the blow._

_She will forgive you_.

"Tohru, I have to tell you something."

His voice is devoid of emotion, the sensual lilt gone. She can feel the hot length of his cock slacken.

She can feel the tension in his body behind her, it suddenly isn't that perfect fit, but a hard wall. _Is he going to tell me that he can't love me_...?

_Being the insolent girl I am, I don't want to hear it._

_Let me believe in my trampled heart that there is someone who loves me_.

"Please. Don't tell me." She's lucky he can't see her, because her eyes are welling with tears. No good news is better than bad news, she tells herself, wishing to be away from his warm grasp - a reminder of what she can't have.

Hatori's brows furrow. Does she know about his secret meetings with Kana?

Maybe she knows and has chosen to remain oblivious.

Either way, it is fine for now. She's in his arms. _Now_.

He doesn't want to deal with problems, especially when they have the whole weekend together.

Tohru changes the subject. "It's so cold right now."

"Yeah, it's freezing. I'll go turn the furnace on." He needs something to distract him right now. To bring him out of the worry generated by his almost confession.

"I'll get breakfast started." She says, turning her face away to wipe at her tears. She pretends to occupy herself with finding her strewn clothes, but is actually hiding her face from him. Her face is a mirror of her feelings. _He can't see me like this. I'm made a fool of myself once again. Confessing to him when I know fully well that he doesn't feel the same way_.

He's too distracted to noticed the girl with tears cascading down her face in thin rivulets.

/

As Tohru lays out breakfast on the table, Hatori returns from the garage. "So the heater will not turn on. I've called in a technician, but he won't be out here until Monday."

"Does that mean we can stay until Monday?" She says with a cheerful smile. There are no more remainders of her tears.

"My exact thought," he says with a grin. "I'll give Akito a call and let her know. I'll tell her that I've sent you back and stayed for the technician."

"Hai, sounds good."

"Hatori, how did you get Akito to approve of us coming here for the winter? There's no landscape to work on."

"I told her that you offered to clean the attic."

"That's all? I didn't even know there was an attic."

"You haven't seen the attic. It's only above three of the bedroom. It's accessed from the drop-down staircase in the locked room." Hatori says with a wink. "It's a big undertaking."

"Oh, I see."

/

They spend the rest of Saturday exploring the attic and cleaning it up and finding all kind of interesting trinkets and learning about the Sohma history. It was indeed a big undertaking. Dozens of cardboard boxes. A large, dusty mirror in the corner, with an intricately carved frame, which might have been ivory. Several small tables. Trunks filled with old documents. White clothes draped over large pieces of furniture gave a very ominous feeling inside.

"What the hell is this?" Hatori says, dangling a bouncy toy in his hand.

Tohru is at the other side of the attic and turns her head to look at what he's holding. She screams, "Throw it away, it's a snake!"

When he doesn't, she comes over to him and shakes the green serpentine thing out of his hands, flinging it against the window with a loud thunk. "Do you want to get bit? It could be poisonous!" She says with a flushed face. her hands her hips.

Hatori chuckles to see her all red-faced over a silly toy snake. He hadn't known it would affect her like that, maybe he ought to play more tricks on her... just to see her face light up with emotion.

"It's not poisonous."

"How do you know for sure?"

"Because it's just a toy snake."

It's her turn to laugh. And here she was getting all protective. "You played a trick on me!" She gives him a little slap on the shoulder.

"An unintentional trick, maybe I should plan more..." Hatori replied, cocking his eyebrow.

"Harrumph! I will play a trick on you first!"

/

A/N: 4.5.2013 - Random tidbit: I checked the stages of bruises (since it was a week after Tohru got hurt). The spectrum of colors - red/blue (first 2 to 3 days) to green to yellow to brown - is morbidly fascinating.

THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT. LOVE U ALL.

/

kouga's older woman: Thanks!

Phenylephrine: Hehe totally agree. But hey, he tried to confess in this chapter... bum bum. Guy at vacation house... muwhahaha.

Tsukiakage: Great to hear from ya again! Thought I had lost ya. Together, we gotta shake Hatori!

Guest: Hatori is really unsure about everything. He hadn't _felt_ for years and now there are two wonderful girls to choose from. He can't decide with his brain. Yeah, sure PM me with your email! What do I like to do besides write ff... I like to READ. I don't really read Fruits Basket fan fiction because I like l-o-n-g angsty stories with my favorite pairs (TxH,TxS) and there isn't much in that category. So I tend to Harry Potter stories. Hehee. I also like to hike, try new recipes (most of which fail), watch TV. Yes, I'm quite a homebody. u?

kris11993: Hey girl! Hmmm, I agree that the curse is affecting more than just 2 people. Kyo is so hurt. :( Loved ur reflective review!

miaboo011: hey, sorry for confusion. curse is not lifted yet... just the temporary fulfillment. :) Thanks, girl!

ChristmasEveBrat: Thanks, newbie!

onebluefairy: Postcoital bliss... hahha, yep! Hatori... do the right thing!

mcangel1976: To answer your question... yep. Quite soon. I hope my "handled" you mean dead. Muwhahaha. If only it could be as easy as that, but I believe all the cursed bound to their God aren't able to physically do it. Thanks!

Traceless-Potion: I know, how could u, Hatori?! Love is right in front of you, you oaf!

9755 views, 183 reviews, 21 favs, 32 followers.


	33. Chapter 33: Neighborly Visit

**/ WOOT, 11 reviews!**

**Chapter 33: Neighborly Visit **

**/**

"Hatori, breakfast is ready!"

Hatori opens one eye lazily to stare up at Tohru. She's wearing a frilly green apron, looking adorable. Her hands are covered with oven mitts holding a loaf pan with some perfectly risen bread. "I've baked some banana bread!"

The heavenly aroma fills his senses, drawing a deep moan from him.

"This isn't a dream, is it?" _It's too perfect. You are too perfect_.

"No Hatori. I am not playing a trick on you. _Just yet_." She replied wryly, with a wink.

"What time is it?"

"It's a little past 10."

"What?!" Hatori says, lifting himself to sitting position on the mat, covering his naked chest protectively. Tohru grins at his unnecessary modesty.

"I know you never wake up this late, but I couldn't help but let you sleep in. You looked so… peaceful."

"It's not your fault. I'm happy. It's just rare for me." He's an insomniac. How did he sleep through the night without any interruptions? Every time he comes here, he feels so good. The aches in his body vanish. Every morning he feels so well-rested.

Tohru has laid out a beautiful table setting. There is a glass vase with two knotty branches. It's the dead of winter, but she still finds some figment of beauty. There are two plates set out, each with a poached egg, two slices of honey ham, and some sliced apples.

"Wow, it snowed last night."

"Yep, for first snowfall, it's a lot."

_First snowfall. _

_Spent together_. Tohru thinks cheerfully.

/

After breakfast and some pleasant chat, Hatori says he's going to take a shower.

"Want to take one with me?" He asks with a sly grin.

"Oh darn. I took one before you got up."

"I can get you dirty again…"

She bows her head bashfully before turning to collect their empty plates. "Ahhhhh, I must clean up!"

As Hatori walks down the halfway, he mutters to himself. _What the hell am I doing_?! He's acting like that foul-mouthed Mr. Shigure Sohma! It's the sleep. It must be the sleep. Ah, so wonderful and no longer elusive. It's cured him of his worries. At least for now.

He turns on the cold tap in the bathroom after he strips out of his clothes.

/

_Ding-dong_.

Tohru furrows her eyebrows. Who's knocking at the door? It's Sunday… Hatori said the repairman wasn't coming until tomorrow, unless… could it be one of the Sohmas? Hatori is their usual mode of transportation, but they could have found another means…

She looks through the peek-hole to see an unrecognizeable young man clad in a black cashmere v-neck sweater. He looks harmless enough so she unlocks the door. Tohru's mouth drops. He's really good-looking, if you like that male model type. Surprisingly, his sparkly white teeth are what caught Tohru's attention first. They aren't perfectly aligned. In fact, he has a small snaggletooth on the top row, in the corner. It makes him more… human. His onyx black hair is short and sticking in every direction. Clearly he hasn't cleaned up yet. But it doesn't detract the least bit from his beauty.

He looks young. However, the bulk of his upper arms prove that he is older. Probably her own age.

Tohru immediately takes her gaze away from his face and looks down at the ground where their feet are pointing at each other.

"Hey! I live next door. I was just wondering if your power is out."

"No, we have power."

"Alrighty then. I'll probably have to call someone out to take a look. I'm terrible with that kind of stuff."

Tohru looks up at him when he says the last sentence. A man admitting his faults upfront? This is a guy she admired.

"Actually, Hatori may be able to take a look today. He's pretty handy. Maybe in an hour?"

"Sounds good."

"Okay, we'll see you then. Where is your house?"

"On the other side of the stone wall." He points in the direction of his house.

"Okay."

"By the way, it smells delicious in here."

"Oh thank you." Tohru bows gracefully before adding, "Would you like some banana bread?"

"Yes please. If it's no hassle."

"Of course not. Can you wait here for a second?"

Tohru's not sure if she can invite a stranger into the house, so she opts to stay on the safe side by having him wait outside.

"Sure."

Tohru moves to the kitchen to prepare a generous slice for him, wrapping it neatly in foil before returning back.

"Here you go."

"Thank you very much. Since I drove most of the way here, I didn't have a chance to eat breakfast. This is a lifesaver. My name is Shuji. I didn't catch yours."

"Tohru. Nice to meet you Shuji."

"Likewise."

He gives a gentlemanly bow before trekking back through the thin sheet of snow on the ground.

Tohru closes the door and trudges to her suitcase to get another layer of clothing for herself. It's freezing. And she is not about to waste the day in bed snuggling with Hatori as an excuse to stay warm. It would be nice (in fact, _very_ nice), but she has work to do about the house!

"Hey Hatori, the neighbor just stopped by to ask if our power was out. I told him you could take a look before he calls out a repairman."

"Alright. Where does he live?"

Tohru chastises Hatori for wanting to wear just a wool sweater out in the cold. Obligingly, he puts on a down jacket from the closet and follows her out.

"He said he lives over there."

"How do we get past the gates?"

"Good one, I'll go grab the remote. But also, remember that ladder method?"

"Hai."

The house next door does not have a gate so they walk up to the porch. Tohru hears high-pitched laughs coming from inside and looks up at Hatori with a surprised quirk of her eyebrow.

Hatori rings the doorbell.

"Coming!" Says a booming voice from inside followed by a quieter 'Shhhhhhhh.'

Shuji comes to the door. "Oh hey guys. Come on in."

His house is toasty warm. Tohru can't see a fireplace, but can smell the smoky smell of burning wood. The decoration inside is the complete opposite of the Sohma villa. It is modern and Western-influenced. There is a leather L-shaped couch with an array of bodies strewn across it. There are about a dozen people in the room, most of which are girls. Tohru counts four guys, including Shuji. Everyone is staring at her so she bows politely with a pleasant smile. However, this gesture only garners her distasteful looks from the girls. She looks away from them and focuses on the fading forms of the two men heading for the hallway.

She catches up to them.

Hatori is already turning the knobs and widgets, explaining it to a nodding Shuji. _Professor and student_, Tohru thinks.

After Hatori finishes, he looks at Tohru with a slight twitch of his lips. Tohru recognizes this as his version of a smile. She returns it.

"Thank you sir." He gives Hatori a strong handshake which is reflected in Hatori's strained expression.

"No problem."

"We're having a party here tonight, starting at 8. Would you like to come by?"

"Um," Hatori replies. Fumbling with his words is rare for him. Tohru interjects, "Sure."

"Great. See you then."

/

"I haven't been to a stranger's party before."

"Me either."

"Do you think we should go?" Hatori looks reluctant to go. His face is etched with worry. He doesn't do well in big crowds.

"Hai. I told him we would. No backing out now." Tohru says slyly.

"I suppose. Are we supposed to wear something special? Bring anything? I'm not sure what the protocol is these days."

"Don't worry Tori-san. We're doing it together."

/

At eight-thirty, Tohru and Hatori walk up the steps again. Hatori rings the doorbell because Tohru is carrying a large white box containing a Clementine chiffon cake. A variation of Momiji's birthday cake.

A doe-eyed girl with heavy bangs opens the door. When she gives Tohru an once-over, she barely registers the other young woman. But when her eyes glaze over at her companion, they immediately light up. "Are you a friend of Shuji's?" She directs toward Hatori, her body language has completely shut out Tohru.

Hatori closes the distance between himself and Tohru. "No, we just met."

"I can show you around his grandfather's house, if you'd like."

"No, it's alright."

Realizing Hatori's lack of interest in her, she shrugs her shoulder and bounces away to her group of gaggling girl friends.

"Let's get you a drink shall we?" Shuji says to Hatori, guiding him into a well-lit wine cellar.

Tohru looks at the neat displays on the shelves. There is a table with more than a dozen frosty-glassed sake bottles that catch her attention. Each has a large bow-shaped tag and curls of pastel ribbon tied around it. There is a pretty font on all of them, but they all seemed to have different text. She reads in particularly long one.

"_I wasn't in love with her. And she didn't love me. For me the question of love was irrelevant. What I sought was the sense of being tossed about by some raging, savage force, in the midst of which lay something absolutely crucial. I had no idea what that was. But I wanted to thrust my hand right inside her body and touch it, whatever it was_."

~Haruhi Murakami, _South of the Border, West of the Sun_.

_Join the sinner's club._

Hatori comes up behind her and whispers, "I'm not really a drinker, but I don't want to act out of place."

"What drink did you get?"

"Just a Happoshu."

"Can I have a taste?" Tohru says, looking up at him with imploring eyes. She wants to test his reaction to her bold statement.

"Absolutely not."

"Why not?"

"You will not drink alcohol."

"Everyone goes through an experimental stage."

"Not you. Not when I am here. I'm supposed to protect you." _I haven't been doing a very good job. You got hurt last weekend. No more_.

Tohru beams. Her sweet Hatori.

/

**A/N:** 4.8.2013 - Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Cough, creeper in the forest anyone? Hmmm.

I know it's kinda dragging on here, but I promise it is important buildup. Pay attention to details (they will come up, muwhahaha!).

I just don't want to jump into all the passion, angst all at once. Too _un_natural. I want to at least try to mimic a real relationship with these 2 lovebirds (despite all the random shit I throw at them). Bahahaha!

/

Traceless-Poison: OMG, thanks! Glad you enjoyed the previous chapter so much! Makes me very happy. :) bruises, muwhahaha!

May96: Hey newbie! This is the calm before the storm, my dear. Floodgate are at their breaking out. Thanks for the review! Keep 'em comin'!

Kris11993: Long review… I love it! I totally agree with you… his 'romantic' feelings are kind of split/shared. Haha, Hatori ruining a good moment is definitely not following Shigure's books. I like your attention to detail.

Guest: Hello dear. Hatori is struggling big time. It's only gonna get worse until it… explodes. Yep, he tried but failed. Yay for homebodies! Harry Potter… what is your favorite pair?

Phenylephrine: I love you dearie. Thanks for that PM. Glad it was your favorite chapter, makes my day (ahem, week!). Your hunch… :)

Tsukiakage: Love ya too my loyal reader. :)

Onebluefairy: Hehe, loved your review!

Kouga's older woman: THANKS!

Mcangel1976: Hehe agree, gonna take a while for him to come to terms… meanwhile the lies brew…

ChristmasEveBrat: I love bittersweet plots. Thank you for your review!

_**Preview**_: _A smirk curves over Shuji's expression. "This is my house. No one hits me in my house." Each of his words slices through the air crisply. Tohru is shaking like a reed, but maintains her steady poker-face. She won't let a bully win_!

10405 hits, 194 reviews, 22 favorites, 33 followers!


	34. Chapter 34: Playing Games

/ Enjoy! Whopping 3300k words (not including author's notes)!

**Chapter 34: Playing Games**

**/**

"Let's play some kiku no hana!"

Tohru eases out of the circle of Shuji-hungry girls with their perfectly coifed hair and fake smiles. There is a shy looking boy wearing rimless glasses sitting on a chair in the corner. He's hutched, clutching his elbows in opposite hands and looking wistfully at the group. Knowing it's wrong to pass judgment, Tohru thinks he doesn't look like he quite belongs here. The rest of the guests are loud and lively, wearing designer brands and the latest trends. He's quiet and wearing a blue shirt with a frayed collar and comfy sweatpants.

"Hello there. Are you not playing?" Tohru asks, cheerfully.

The boy shakes his head. "I normally _try_ to stay out of his drinking games."

"Is he always this boisterous?"

"Yep."

Hatori returns from the bathroom and sits down beside Tohru and the chubby baby-faced boy named Otsuka. Surprisingly, Otsuka goes to the same college as her. Along with Shuji. He says Shuji is getting his masters in Business Administration and minor in Studio Art.

Tohru can see the admiration in his eyes. "What about you?"

"I'm in Computer Science."

"Cool. You're going to be successful." Tohru says with a wink.

The quiet conversation is engulfed by the loud chanting of, "Kiku no hana, kiku no hana, akete tanoshii, kiku no hana!"

"I can't do it!" Tohru hears a girl whine, but she nevertheless raises the shot glass to her lips.

"What are they playing?"

Tohru doesn't understand why the group is chanting about Chrysanthemum flowers.

"It's called Kiku no hana. Basically there are as many opaque cups as there are people playing. The cups are flipped over. Under one of them is supposed to be a Chrysanthemum flower or any small, soundless object. Each player will turn over one cup. If there is no flower under it, the cup is left up and moves to the next player. If there is a flower, the player must drink as many cups as have been turned over."

"That could be a lot of drinks!"

"Yeah, it could. It's quite dangerous. Luckily for them, they are playing with beer tonight."

Tohru has never drunk anything alcoholic. And now with her protective angel by her side, she may not ever. And she's fine with that. He's shown that he cares for her, body, soul, and mind.

_Ring-ring_.

Hatori looks at his cell phone. _Shigure_.

Hatori excuses himself to answer the phone.

"Hello Shigure. Is something wrong?"

"I just wanted to check on my little flower. You aren't telling her to do all the labor, are you?"

"No, I'm not. She's fine."

"Okay, just want to make sure our misanthropic Hatori isn't torturing my precious Tohru." Hatori rolls his eyes at Shigure's comment.

"Is that all you called about?"

"Not really. Momo is burning up. Momiji is really worried; he says she's never sick. Could you come back for a few hours to check up on her?"

"Um, yeah, alright." _Duty calls_.

"Pocchari-kei!" Shuji calls out in a sing-songy voice.

Tohru is shocked that he would blatantly yell that across the room. Since everyone else is reed-thin, he's only referring to one person.

...

She expects Otsuka to turn red faced and get angry at that statement, but he doesn't. He merely stands up from his corner post and walks toward Shuji, who is swaying by the sofa. He's clearly intoxicated.

There are girls celebrating his victory by chanting the number eight. It's a lucky number in the culture as well as the number of drinks Shuji has just had. A lethal combination.

"Hey everybody. This is my friend Otsuka. We've known each other since grade school. He's always been this fat. Every time we went to McDonalds, he would get a box of 50 chicken nuggets."

Shuji nudges Otsuka into the center of the crowd. Everyone is looking at the bigger boy with distain, as if he's carrying some contagious disease, or worse, a leper.

As if those hurtful words aren't enough, Shuji continues, "Big boy, why don't you get us some snacks. Don't get tempted in the kitchen and leave us with nothing." He waggles a condescending finger at the sullen boy.

Tohru's fists ball up into fists. _This isn't happening. She can't stand for this_.

When Otsuka trudges back with several bags of chips and crackers, Shuji doesn't even say thank you. Instead he grabs a small plastic container from under the couch. There are ping pong balls inside. He throws one at Otsuka's retreating form. "Hey, get back here."

Otsuka turns back and pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. Tohru can see that his face is shiny with sweat. His eyes are wet and downcast. But he's holding in his emotions. _Just like she would_.

Shuji tosses a ball at Otsuka which bounces back. Shuji catches it effortlessly.

"Whoever can get his big-ass belly to jiggle by throwing a ball at it will get a prize."

The guests are all looking at each other confused. But after a 'C'mon' from Shuji, they start to form a line to shoot a ball at the new 'circus freak.' Tohru raises herself from her chair. She can feel her whole face burn in shame, for Otsuka, for humanity.

Without thinking, she steps out in front of Otsuka and slaps the smug, inebriated expression off Shuji's pretty face. Her hand trembles as she brings it down to her side. Her eyes are ablaze with fuming anger. She's realized how foolish it was of her to slap him. She's supposed to be peaceful and reserved. But his words incited her so much! How can he treat someone else, especially his _friend _who admires him so much,with such derision?

He brings his hand to his cheek, which is now blossoming a ripe red color.

All eyes are on her. Jaws dropped. All the giggly, drunk guests are silent now, watching this scene unfold. It's a train wreck.

No one defies this guy.

His dark eyes flash wickedly, sending her heart to palpitate with fear. There is no one to protect her.

"No one has ever hit me." He comments in his silky tone. He seems much more alert than before when he was teasing Otsuka. His voice is clear. The slap has brought him out of his drunken stupor. Otsuka is standing behind her in shock. No one has ever spoken back to Shuji, let alone slapped him. He's not sure about how Shuji is going to react to a stranger hitting him.

She wants to yell 'You deserved it!', but keeps her mouth shut for fear of further repercussions. She may have just ruined all future neighborly relationships because of her damn morals. She shouldn't have taken it so far...

Tohru holds still, keeping her eyes focused on the black stripe on his socks. She wants to be brave and look him in the eye. After all, it is him who has done wrong. But she doesn't.

"Look up at me," he orders. She's only just met him, but already, she is weak to his commanding presence. She raises her head, haltingly, to look at him, expecting rage. Maybe even a slap too. But instead he arches his elegant brow with a twinkle of amusement in his eyes. Tohru's blood boils. Is this a joke to him?

Otsuka steps out in front of her. "Leave her alone, Shuji."

"Move Otsuka. I want to see this feisty girl."

Otsuka remains a pillar of permanence, blocking Tohru from the intense glare of Shuji. "She d-didn't know that you were just j-joking." Tohru can tell it's taken him a lot of courage to stand up for her.

"Do as I say, Otsuka." The tall, dark-haired boy replies in a controlled tone. As if this is the command of a God, Otsuka steps aside, giving Tohru a small sad nod as if to say, 'I'm sorry, I tried.'

A smirk curves over Shuji's expression. "This is my house. No one hits me in my house." Each of his words slices through the air crisply. Tohru is shaking like a reed, but maintains her steady poker-face. She won't let a bully win!

"I'm sorry, but it was not okay for you to make fun of your friend!"

Expecting him to break lose of his restraint and scream at her, she closes her eyes, willing this to all go away.

"Congratulations. You've just passed my test."

When she finds her voice again, all she can say is "Huh?"

"I wanted to see how far I needed to push to get someone to react. You're the only one who isn't a sycophant here." No one else in the room is offended. They are either to drunk, _said_ sycophant, or dim.

"Um, good-night then." She's not sure what this crazy boy is talking about, but it seems like a good time for a quick escape. As she twirls for the door, he stops her with a hand on her shoulder. "We're not done yet. Stay, you deserve it."

"You are clearly drunk or something, and I don't want to drink."

"That's not all I am." He says in a sadly wistful tone. "Come on. I promise I don't bite."

"Are you going to do _that_ again?"

"I promise I won't. Otsuka knows I was just joking. Right?"

He looks over to Otsuka for affirmation. He nods.

Still stunned by the sudden turn of events, Tohru obediently moves toward the stunned group. When she is about to sit on the floor because there is no seating on the couch, Shuji nudges a guy off the couch to make room for her. Right beside him. The devil.

Tohru hesitantly perches on the edge of the couch.

"We're gonna play a kinky version of Kiku no Hana that I just thought up."

The girls clamor for more details, excited by the prospect of showing their beloved Shuji their _assets_ in hopes of landing in his bed tonight. Tohru bumbles a little about having to head home to clean up, but no one listens. Otsuka is sitting outside the ring of girls, watching over everyone like a protective chaperone. Why does he still hang out with Shuji if he treats him so badly?

"Let's lay down the rules. Let me get some paper."

When Shuji leaves the room, all the other girls glare at Tohru. Tohru thinks it's because she's offended their dear host, but the truth is that the other girls are jealous. Jealous that somehow this outsider has garnered the attention of cold Mr. Playboy.

Shuji returns with an easel and large drawing pad. "This is the ordered list of stripping articles of clothing. If you aren't wearing that, look at the equivalents before moving down the list. If you want to protect your modesty and you don't want to remove that article of clothing, you'll have to answer a kinky "truth" question. This is Kiku no Hana mixed with Strip Poker mixed with Truth or Dare."

By the end of the heated discussion, they finish the list, along with drawings by Shuji. Turns out, he's a good artist too. And his concept of a bra is not modest by any means. Despite it being just a drawing, it had Tohru blushing like a new bride. It's a demi bra with some bondage straps cascading down. And his Sharpie sketch of a pair of panties is a thong. Go figure. His taste in girls clothing (and hence, probably his taste in girls) was quite precise.

He knows what he likes.

Under the effects of peer pressure and repentance for her prior act, Tohru stays.

"Kita, you're up first." This is the girl to the right of the boy beside him.

When it is finally Tohru's turn there are only 3 cups left. Tohru prays there isn't a little origami boat under her cup.

To her relief their isn't. But Shuji gets the paper. 8 pieces of clothing and questions. _Oh my Kami_.

"I'm definitely not wearing 8 pieces." He says with a childish waggle of his tongue to his fan club. The girls all seemed to melt when he does it. Tohru has seen the attention girls pay Yuki, but never to this extent. He is criminal in the way he is milking attention!

Shuji starts with his red beanie. When he removes it, the static draws his hair up in vertical spikes. It even makes Tohru laugh. Next, he removes his black cashmere sweater and his white undershirt is a silly striptease. His body is pale and smooth like Hatori's. However, Shuji has much more definition in his chest. It ripples in the warm light that baths the room. A trail of black hair disappears into the waistband of his jeans, a place that she should not look at! Tohru averts her eyes in embarrassment. It isn't right to look at another male in his glorious nude form when she has Hatori.

Soon, the girls are screaming, "Boxers, boxers, boxers!"

Tohru's eyes grow wide. He won't strip down to his birthday suit, would he? Who are these people? Why has she never known people who are so uninhibited?

"Sorry ladies, but I'm saving this for a special lady." He gestures toward his precious package.

"Since when?" Shouts an attractive blonde girl.

There is a collective boo (Tohru thinks she even hears a male moaning in despair). Tohru looks across the setting at Otsuka who seems to have a matching mortified expression as her own. They share a meaningful look at each other: _What are we doing here_?

"I have to answer 3 questions. Choose wisely gals and guys."

The girls huddle in a group to decide the three questions to ask him. After about 15 minutes of deliberation, they finally settle.

"What is your favorite position?"

"I like 'em all. But if I had to choose one right now, hmmm-mmm... it would have to be doggystyle." His face is calm despite that very personal question.

"At what age did you lose your virginity?"

"I'm 22 now, but I lost it when I was 17. I know, I know, it's not as early as you all thought it was. That goes to show that experience is not always correlated with age." He has a lascivious twinkle in his dark eyes.

"How many girls have you been with?"

"I'm not going to answer that. I don't kiss and tell. But I'll grant you guys another question."

Many of the girls pout their ruby, glossy lips at him. But he doesn't pay any attention to them. His eyes are glued intently on the timid girl beside him. She is so different. She doesn't try to get his attention. She didn't even want to be here. There is something vulnerable brewing underneath that fierceness. He wants to peel her open and find out.

"Shuji, describe your ideal girl."

"Well, she has big brown eyes and a sweet, yet passionate demeanor."

The girls all looked at each other and then start to laugh again. They are all pointing finger at each other in mock kindliness. But to Tohru's ears, it sounds like witches' cackling. She has never been surrounded by so many spiteful females vying for the attention of one hot-blooded male. He is beautiful and charming, but is it worth all the broken friendships and churning jealousy to have one memorable night with him? She does not understand some girls.

The groupie girls begin to chant 'Catwalk.' Shuji appeases the masses by strutting down the Persian rug between the couches and doing silly poses, all in his boxers decorated with little pink starfish.

Amid all the screaming and shouting, Tohru walks over to sit beside Otsuka.

"Thanks for standing up for me back there. But you didn't need to." He says, looking up at her with a small smile.

"No problem. I can't stand bullying. Because I used to be bullied."

"Really?"

Tohru doesn't understand why he's so shocked, but goes on to explain her earliest scenario concerning the infamous title of 'riceball'.

"So how did you and Shuji become friends?" _He doesn't treat you very well_.

"We've known each other since the last year of middle school."

"He was the new kid who got kicked out of private school. He started in May, and in his first week, he was already popular, among nerds and jocks. He has charisma. All the girls want him. All the boys want to be him. I had been in that school district for my whole life, and I still only had a handful of people I call friends. When some kids were teasing me about my lunch one day, he chewed them out. He came to my rescue when I needed it the most, and he's been my friend ever since."

"Even if he says mean things about you now?" _He's no better than the bullies he saved you from_.

"Yes. 'Cuz I always remember the good things he's done for me. Despite his harsh words, he is loyal to a fault. The fights he's gotten into is enough proof for me."

Tohru can't believe Otsuka is painting that 'devil' in such a nice light. Maybe she had misjudged him. Maybe underneath all that cool demeanor is a kind, loyal guy. Maybe that guy only comes out in the times that needed him the most. Isn't that all that mattered?

"Otsuka, it's your turn."

Tohru notices out of the corner of her eye that Shuji has put on his shirt again. Now, she can look at him again.

It is about seven rounds later before Tohru has to strip. Luckily she only was wearing a lot today. She has 7 garments to remove.

Tohru slowly removes her scarf, her Hello Kitty gloves, her coat (which has a built in place to hold a hot water bottle which she dropped and got a lot of laughs), her heart-patterned gloves, her socks, her pants (she was wearing a pair of long johns inside).

"Aw man, that's it?" Said one of the other guys. "What a prude."

Tohru turned a deep red at his comment. This was already way out of comfort zone. A bunch of strangers...

"Oh, but she's gonna answer a question of our choice." Shuji says quickly, coming to her defense.

But without gathering the others to consult, he asks her, "Is that other guy your boyfriend?"

The other guys in the room (except for Otsuka) start to make wolf whistles and crude noises. Afraid that saying yes will somehow get back to Akito, Tohru replies, 'No.' _Why does he care_? It's not like she's ever going to come back to this house by her own free will. It's not like even know each other.

With a smug smile, he says, "I knew it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tohru retorts defensively.

"He's barely spoke to you, kissed you, touched you. That's not how couples behave. And now he's not even here! Taking care of you at a party so that you don't get drunk or taken advantage of by some crass, drunken guy."

The mood after that revelation turns melancholy for Tohru. When they decide to start up a game of Spin the Bottle, Tohru opts out quickly.

/

It is past midnight when Hatori comes to pick up Tohru. She is sitting outside on the porch where there is a heat lamp beside her new friend, Otsuka, and herself. They leave each other their phone numbers to keep in touch and maybe grab lunch one day on campus. "See you later, Tohru."

"Good night, Otsuka."

They walk back in silence, the snow flurries hitting her bare cheeks like little needles. The stinging cold is a distraction from the cold wind blowing through the hole in her heart.

"I'm sorry I didn't come back earlier to play."

"It's okay. You're busy." _Too busy for me. You never give me an explanation either. Like I'm a burden you don't want to deal with_.

After a quick hot shower, Tohru changes into her pajamas. They are covered with dragonflies. It is something she had saw at a storefront, and found it cute because it reminded her of Hatori. But now, she feels far from cute. She feels tired and sad. Sad that someone from the outside has pointed out that her relationship with Hatori is falling apart at the seams.

How can she not notice something someone else found so blatantly obvious?

/

A/N: 4.10.2013 - Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review!

May96: Thanks for reviewing! Glad you are continuing to read, don't wanna alienate you! Yeah, Tohru in this story is a bit more hardcore and emotional. She has a deeply ingrained sense of morals! We're heading for the storm _very_ soon.

Tsukiakage: Hey girl! Glad you remembered him. He'll be back!

Mcangel1976: Haha, the way you said it was as if that had stumbled upon a drug-filled rave. Haha, Tohru is drawing bad conclusions again! Ha'ri, save her!

ChristmasBratEve: Muwhaha. Can't tell ya yet. :)

Phenylephrine: How was the final reveal of the creeper? (Technically there are still 2 choices, but I'm pretty sure everyone knows who it is…) Yes, prepare for the storm. I actually had the turbulence written a month ago, but I couldn't just jump into it. Haha.

Miaboo011: Haha, never thought about it like that! Thanks hon!

Kouga's older woman: Yes, thank you for your nice way of asking. Thanks for your support!

Kris11993: Thanks! I really liked this chapter, hope you did too! (I love random games!) Glad you liked cute Hatori. Sinner's club… keep that in mind.

10699 hits, 33 Followers, 22 Favs, 202 review (200 at last!) – thanks!


	35. Chapter 35: Evening Reverie

**/ Thanks lovelies!**

**Chapter 35: Evening Reverie**

/

On Monday, the repairman had come to the house and spent the morning fixing the heater. Instead of relaxing like any other female on vacation – reading a book or lounging in the marble tub, Tohru had insisted on cleaning the entire kitchen and all the bathrooms (on her knees) before Hatori vehemently dragged her away (kicking and screaming) to go sledding. The whole time outside, she seemed tired, her expression unreadable. It was very unlike her. Like she had returned to her hermit shell. But if anyone understood what it was like to just need space, it was him.

He wouldn't pressure her.

Just like she hadn't pressured him to admit his feelings toward her. He knew there was something he felt for her, but he couldn't quite put it into precise words. It was experimental, unknown territory. And until it was tangible, until he could point to it and say, 'Yes, that's it!' he wasn't going to go off blathering about fragile feelings. She understood that about him, _right_?

The weekend ended with a quiet car ride back on Monday evening.

Maybe her behavior was a result of post-_weekend_ traumatic disorder.

He didn't know and he didn't press.

/

"Hatori?"

The female voice at the end of the line sounds apprehensive.

"Hi."

"I'm really sorry to call you this late at night, but my husband is at the house right now. I can't bear to see him right now. I-I "

"What is it, has he hurt you?" Hatori growls into the phone.

"No-no nothing like that. I just need someone tonight."

If she was saying what he thought she was… it wasn't possible.

"I can't. I live with other people. We don't have room."

"But it can't be any of my girlfriends. I-I don't want them to k-know. They think I'm living a dream." She's rambling, afraid to be rejected.

He understands the feeling of needing someone for comfort. But usually he just wallows alone.

"Alright. Where are you? I'll come pick you up."

"I can be at the Chouko Bus Station in 20 minutes."

/

She is waiting by the curb, shrouded by a heavy looking grey wool sweater and a forest green scarf. On her shoulder are a nylon weekender bag and her small leather purse. She looks so small and frail against the grimy backdrop of the bus station with its grim-faced night riders and dim yellow lights.

She gives him a small wave when she recognizes the driver of the sleek black BMW. "Thank you, Hatori." Despite the darkness of the night, he can see the tired circles around her eyes. It looks like she's been crying.

He drives up the windy roads to the villa. It's been two weeks since his visit with Tohru. It's her winter break, but she's been surprisingly busy. Not that he has time to see her anyways, confined to the estates. But every night, her text messages are curt. And he doesn't press. _Still_.

But why does he come up with creative excuses to leave the estate when it comes to Kana?

Kana is asleep by the time they arrive at the gates. While he waits for the iron gates to open, he looks at the sleeping form beside him. Even in fidgety sleep, she looks elegant, her head resting gently in the crook of the seat and the door, breathing soundlessly. _This is the first woman I feel in love with. The woman who impaired my better judgment to the point where we were both hurt. I should have known it wasn't going to end well. Can I right my wrong_?

He hasn't pondered his past this deeply since Tohru's come into his life. But Kana. She's here. In the flesh.

Needing him.

After he parks, she slowly wakes from her light slumber. She looks around her surroundings with the curiosity of a child. It's dark and she can barely make out the main house.

"You live here?"

"Sometimes." He thinks it best to keep things simple. Don't tell her about his whole 'extended' family.

"Wow, what a lovely place." She says as he helps out of the car. They walk carefully up the snowy walkway to the porch.

Beside the door mat on the porch lies a partially opened cardboard box. Hatori lifts up the feather light package and clutches it under his arm.

Unlocking the door and flipping on the light, he's assaulted with… cleanliness. It reminds him of Tohru. She doesn't leave a single thing out of place. He's sure if he were to swipe his finger across the shelf, he wouldn't come up with any dust.

Inside the box is plastic bag that contains a green scarf he recognizes as Tohru's. There is a small card tucked into the soft fabric. It reads: _Hope you are bundled nice and cozy for the rest of winter because you left this behind! Happy Holidays, S_.

It's that casual guy Shuji. Who does he think he is, writing cutesy notes to Tohru, whom he barely knows!

Hatori scrunches up the plastic bag and shoves it in his luggage.

/

She's standing behind him, waiting for his instruction.

"I'll take you to your room." He says brusquely, like some courteous butler of the house, not some former lover.

Quietly padding across the living room in the brocade slippers Tohru placed neatly by the door, he reaches the first door. His hand hesitates at the doorknob. _Not this room. Not the room where they've made… had sex._

Kana notices his hesitation, but doesn't say anything. Everyone has their ghosts of the past. Kami only knows there are big, shadowy ghosts in her past because she can't remember anything. There are fragments, but not enough to piece together a full map. It's one of her life's quests, of which start with this handsome, melancholy man who holds the world on his shoulders.

He takes her to the end of the hallway. The bedroom looks like it hasn't been occupied in a while. It smells like mothballs. A mouse skitters across the floor, making Kana jump back to the squeaky noise in a surprise. "Eep!" She cries out. When she notices the small intruder disappearing into a small hole in the wall, she clutches her chest and takes several calming breaths.

She looks expectantly at her quiet host. He looks like he's looking off into space.

He's recalling Tohru's frightened reaction to the elusive mouse. They way she had run to his room, pausing at the door jamb after hearing the familiar clicking of furry little feet across the hard floor. _Epitome of innocence. Purity. _

_Mine_.

Kana takes out her small cosmetic bag and some pajamas before asking Hatori where the bathroom is, snapping him out of his ill-timed reverie.

"Down the hall," he says, pointing his finger to the right.

After turning on the heater, he's sitting at the kitchen counter, feeling numb.

He's with Kana. But why is he only thinking about Tohru? Everything about the house floods his mind with memories of her. They've sat side-by-side on these stools. They've made the Clementine cake for the party right across from where he's sitting right now. She had said he'd whipped the egg whites perfectly. Even this small compliment had made him beam with happiness. They had brushed their teeth beside each other in the double basin bathroom. Somehow that lust-driven girl has found a place deep in his warded heart. He can't admit this yet though. _Why_?

"Hatori?"

He whips around to face Kana. She's tied her loose hair up into a top bun and put on some black silk pajamas. They aren't intended to seduce or anything, but he feels terribly guilty. Her pretty fresh face has more color. She's probably washed it with icy cold water. He tears his eyes away from her nimble form.

"Can you sit with me?" Sensing his hesitation, she adds, "Until I fall asleep. I'm sure it will be soon, I'm extremely tired tonight."

He follows her back to her bedroom where she's set up her bed.

He sits in the corner of the room on a tatami mat and pulls his legs up to his chest, resting his chin in the valley formed by his adjacent knees.

"What are you thinking about? You've looked deep in thought all night." Kana queries inquisitively.

"Nothing, just work," he lies. Can he keep this up? Each lie that slips from his mouth makes him hate himself more. It's in his control, yet it isn't.

"Will you stay with me tonight?"

Her voice is a soft melody, but it doesn't make him ache with need. It's just not the _same_. Tohru could talk about the most tedious things, but her enthusiasm, her sweet voice alone can make him _feel_.

But instead tonight, he's accompanied by Kana. She needs him tonight, and he's going to be here. But his mind screams for him to leave. _This isn't right. It doesn't matter how innocent you wish it could be. No one in there right mind would forgive you for this. You're a virile man. With a vulnerable woman who's just had an argument with her husband. Alone. At night. In the same bedroom_.

"I-I've got to go."

"What do you mean?" She asks, baffled. She needs him here tonight.

"I don't live here. I will pick you up at 9 am tomorrow. Don't open the door for anyone."

Despite his promise of comforting her, he can't do it.

She wrinkles her eyebrow, confused by his statement.

He rushes out of the bedroom, grabs the car keys off the small table by the entrance and opens the door, letting the wintry air stream in, full-blast.

"Wait," calls out a soft voice.

On her tiptoes, Kana places a chaste kiss on his unshaven jaw. "Thank you."

Her face is marked with forgiveness and understanding.

He doesn't want it!

/

_**Two weeks later.**_

It's been weeks since our last encounter. I've just been letting my aching heart do its damage. But finally, I decided to do something about it. I invited Hatori out for a evening movie. We're walking back to the train station.

His arm that is draped casually around my shoulder falls away suddenly. I look up to see why, dazed. Unlike the romantic male leads in dramas, he doesn't grip me possessively like he's staking a claim. Who am I kidding? I don't mean much to him. Instead, I kind of fall away without his firm hold, like a fawn on fragile legs.

I gaze at this beautiful woman standing before me. Prettier than she is in that picture from the couple's contest. I have to consciously close my mouth because she is truly a sight. Immediately, my doubts set in. This is who I'm up against? I have no chance. I'm nothing compared to her. No wonder I am in her shadow. _Will always be_. I'm the pedestal that holds her magnificent marble goddess. And of course, she has a genial smile to match. It makes her eyes crinkle in the corners. I can't help assessing this epitome of understated beauty and class. She cuts a willowy figure. About 170 centimeters. _My dream height_. The length of her pin-straight auburn hair is soft around her pale face, barely grazing her shoulders. Her eyes are wide and bright, and her nose is just right. She has the slightest blush in her cheeks. I'm sure she's around Hatori's age, but she looks like a bright-eyed college student. She's wearing a cropped oatmeal-colored sweater and a swingy floor-length black skirt.

Why is this so uncomfortable? I shuffle my feet a little.

Hatori is the first to break the awkward silence.

/

A/N: 4.14.2013 - Evil cliffy, but worry not, update tomorrow. :)

Mcangel1976: Ah, yes. Shall be downhill from here. Muwhaha.

Onebluefairy: Heeeeeello! Afraid no healing for Tohru yet. Thanks for your support!

Phenylephrine: Thank you thank you!

Kouga's older woman: Hehehe, yes don't worry. More chapters coming soon!

Traceless-Potion: Ooo, glad you enjoyed the games, I enjoyed researching Japanese drinking games! That was a very dangerous one…

May96: Hello again, love your profile pic, flower matches your username: May! Yay!

Kris11993: DO U KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE LONG REVIEWS? LOTS, LOTS, LOTS… so thanks! It makes me all giddy just reading it. Glad you drew that conclusion about Shuji being the the 'Akito' of his group, _interesting parallels_… On the other hand, Hatori has got to change if he wants to keep Tohru by his side. Soon he will realize just how jealous he is. *creepy snigger* _The heart knows, the heart knows…_ And you have guessed correctly…

Shuji and Otsuka will be back! And they shall meet at school… you and I think alike! Hahaha about the comment about college students not studying for class… very perceptive. Sorry about my grammar, it's one of my **big** weaknesses. Terrible sentence structure too. Boo-hoo. Glad u are addicted tho!

Guest: Heeeeeey! Glad you are enjoying! HPxHG… hmm never read it because it doesn't fit into my typical ship of FORBIDDEN LOVE, but if you have any good recommendations, send them my way! Sorry u are unable to PM me, make an account missy! You won't regret it… u can keep track of all your favs 'n stuff!

211 reviews, 36 followers, 24 favs, 11282 hits! Yay!


	36. Chapter 36: Forgive Me

**/ **Hiya! Remember to stay tuned every night for a chapter! (Hopefully it will last for a week…rations, rations, wink wink)

/

**Chapter 36: Forgive Me**

/

"Good to see you, Kana."

Why isn't he more surprised? Isn't this like the first time he's seen her in years? Shouldn't he be shocked, as if he's seeing a ghost?

I'm more shocked than him for goodness' sake!

"It's good to see you again, Hatori." Even her voice is beautiful! It's not one of those affected voices you hear in anime with a clingy heroine. It's slightly deep for a woman, but rich with kindness and understanding. Everything is perfect. Ideal. Standard. _ Complementary_.

The word:_ Again_. What does that mean?

And how does she know his name? Didn't he erase her mind?

Did she have a lapse?

Is this a nightmare? The deafening sound of a garbage truck backing up tells me it's not. _Shit_, the Kyo in me says.

And where is her ring? My idle thoughts run rampant, tripping all other each other in their haste to jump to ill conclusion. But all I can do is smooth out the hem of my shirt like a reprimanded child. Gah, I am so pathetic! I simply want to melt into the sidewalk or disappear like bubbles. Something that will take me away from this torture. It's collided right into me, but I can't confront it. Not when my body is still weak to his touch.

There is this dreadful thought that bleeds into me, staining my brain. Have they met each other lately? Did he neglect to tell me? Did she break up with her husband for him?

"Who's this?" She says, giving me a beaming look. It's not spiteful or unkind, just… radiant.

"This is… Tohru Honda." Hatori says reluctantly. Of course there's a pause. Because he's not sure how to address me. I'm not his 'significant other.' Hell, I'm not even a smidgen of anything to him. The annoying girl "in heat"? Because that's all that I really am. He probably wants to distance himself from me. But it was too late when she spotted us.

I can see that her enthusiasm is dampened when she realizes I'm actually with him, or at least less than an arm's length away from him. _A female companion_. It's the barest little twitch of her lips, but I notice. The gears in her mind are working. But I'm not proud or anything. Because I know Hatori still holds a torch for the woman in front of me.

"Nice to meet you, Tohru." She reaches her hand out to greet mine which I respond to keenly. I can't help smile back at her, despite the sadness I feel inside. She's the type of person who draws other people in, the life of the party, so they say. _Despite how jealous you are of her, you admire you because she is ideal_.

Words fail me as I look back at her.

"Would you guys like to get a drink together?" She says.

"Hmm-mmm, we were just heading out. We have some… place to be."

"Alright. Maybe some other time. See you around." She gives a pretty little finger wave before turning to leave. Hatori tightens his grip around my upper arm and nearly pulls me off the main sidewalk like some disobedient child. And like the petulant child he thinks I am, I twist my arm out of his grasp when we are alone, surrounded by the inky black night.

Since there is nothing so say between us, except, 'Farewell', I stalk off like some angry predatory animal. I don't hear his footstep behind me. Maybe I'm grateful. Maybe I'm crestfallen. I turn into a brightly lit alley. I can hear the loud bass of some dance music streaming out of a metal-barred door. There is neon sign outside that says 'SEVEN SINS.' Surprisingly, there is an empty wooden bench outside. I take a seat to catch my breath and replay everything that's just happened. I cover my eyes with my damp palms and press into the hollows of my face. I want to will this all away. "Hey." I ignore that deep voice that calls me. Until I feel a prod in my shoulder. "You coming in?"

"No." I respond coolly.

"The bench is for clubbers only."

When he sees my embarrassing tear-streaked face peer back at him, his harsh face softens. "I'm sorry. You can sit there as long as you'd like." The stiffness in his solid globe-like body sags a little.

"Thanks," I reply, returning to the hollow formed by my cupped palms. I am despondent. I've fallen from that precipice of optimism and love.

"Tonight's been slow. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"I'm a great listener."

"It's okay." I don't want to be anyone's burden. It'll just reside in my chest until I explode one day. That day is not too far. I can feel it along with that slightest prickle of desire between my legs.

The more emotional I am, the more _needy_ I am. I know, twisted right? _Lust knows what it can't have_. Just shoot me with Cupid's arrow.

"Broken heart, eh?

I've had my share of those."

"Yeah," I squeak out weakly. I can't believe I replied so easily. This is a stranger. A stranger who doesn't know anything about my turmoil. Why am I burdening him?

Because I need someone.

Someone who can hear me. _Listen_.

"Who's the bastard?"

"This perfect guy."

"He isn't _perfect_ if you are crying alone in an alley."

I don't respond, but inside, I thank this stranger for making me feel a bit better. He knows just the right words. If only Hatori knew. He doesn't know how a small action can tear someone apart.

I know he must have met Kana before our surprise meeting today.

It doesn't take a genius to figure that out.

But the worst part is that he didn't tell me. Honesty. Isn't that the foundation of a relationship? We started off on the wrong noun (lust), but I thought we backtracked. I was honest with him about my kiss with Kyo…

Maybe that was an early sign that he didn't care.

And never will.

My feelings are mine to wallow in. Mine to suck in and bear. Alone.

"Ooo, I think your perfect guy is here. Best of luck." I hear from my right. I can see Mr. Bouncer get off the bench from my peripheral vision. When I look up, _he_'s there. It's too late to run.

He's surrounded me like I'm some wild animal.

I am, with the feral beating of my heart.

I stare back at him frigidly. His eyes are dark and intense. One could lose herself in that abyss.

I have.

And I've been trying to claw my way out ever since, to no avail.

"Look Tohru," He runs his hand through his disheveled hair, exasperated. He continues, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"Don't worry about it. You two are meant to be. It is fate right? You finally found her, and she seems to like you too." I don't say anything about not wanting him. Because that would be a lie. I want him. _Bad_. It's more that just my lustful desires. I want him on an emotional level. I want to share my happiness with him. I want to bask in his smile.

I seem to be emboldened by his lack of response. "Just leave me be." The more you try, the more I feel like I'm anchored to you. I don't ever want to leave you. Your words are my drug. If I let you talk, I will surely fall under your spell.

But I need to see the truth.

This will never work.

We weren't meant to be.

/

And then rage settles in my chest. I only see red. "Go back to her! You should be with her." I stand up, despite feeling lightheaded.

"Stop it Tohru," he says, grabbing hold of my wrists as I pummel his chest in a chain of small attacks. He pulls me into his chest, my arms fold easily like butterfly wings. Our chests are separated by my arms so that it doesn't trigger his curse. It's an awkward hold, but he murmurs in my ears, "Shhh." It breaks down my defenses. Maybe because I had none. Because I hadn't expected him to hurt me like this. The strength of his arms is crushing me. _ And I never want to forget it_. I'm in too deep, aren't I?

I feel a kiss on my forehead that alleviates the scowl on my face.

"Stop teasing me," I mutter without conviction. I've fallen… first into this wretched curse, and now, under his spell. He doesn't even have to explain himself, yet I yield to him like a blade of grass to his almighty zephyr.

"I will explain everything." He says sternly.

"You don't have to. Honestly. I understand." I reply in a small voice. I doubt he hears me.

"I do."

He sits down beside me and begins the painful story. If only I could keep a poker face. Instead, my eyes are burning with unshed tears.

/

He starts off. "I tried to tell you several weeks ago. But you said you didn't want to hear it."

I rack my brain for when he mentioned Kana in the past month.

"I don't remember you mentioning her."

"Not precisely her name, but I wanted to tell you."

"I thought you knew, but didn't want me to remind you of it. I haven't spoken to her in weeks."

"Are you _together_?" That sentence holds so much at stake. I need to know.

There is a pregnant pause. My body is shaking with uneasy anticipation.

"I will only tell you the truth from here on out." _Only since you've been caught_! I want to shout back poisonously.

"I still care for her."

"You mean you still _love_ her." The word _love_ taunts me. It's like a moth fluttering in front of my face, but I can never catch it. Only bits of dust come off to me. It's a sham. We have moments of joy and romance. We have sex. Everything between us is mockery of love. It's not real love.

His silence incites me further. "You _still_ love her."

"I don't know."

"So, I'm just the token you use to test gauge her feelings toward you. I can tell you that she loves you. That she will willingly return to your side. You don't need poor little ol' me to make her jealous!"

"I wasn't trying to make her jealous."

"How long have you been seeing each other?"

"It's not what you think."

"Oh yeah? Can you explain why she isn't wearing her ring?" Yeah, I'm ever so perceptive. It's nothing to be proud of at this moment though.

"He cheated on her."

_Just like you're cheating on me_.

Forgive me for the burden I've caused you.

It was fun while it lasted.

And let me forget you.

Let me return to my pain.

I will find a way to go on living without you. I think I know a way to get rid of my need for you.

"Can you do something for me?"

/

A/N: 4.15.2013 – My lovelies, question for you all: How insecure do you feel about yourself on a scale from 1 to 10 (10 being extremely insecure)? Our poor Tohru is feeling awfully insecure.

Phenylephrine: Hatori _is_ evil! Two-timing seahorse… I like that! Shigure says, "Yeah, 'cuz I'd gladly come over to sweep my little flower into my yukata and cuddle her, you two-timing seahorse!" All this happening not long after Tohru's bold confession. Sniffles. Someone please save her.

-gladly gives you a paper airplane so that you can launch Kana back to where she came from-

Don't worry, Shuji and Otsuka will be back! I really like them. (With a popular Japanese holiday among females coming up…)

Mcangel1976: Bad things happen all at once. Terrible, I know. :) Confess Hatori!

May96: Yes, T and H have run into Kana on the streets.

Kouga's older woman: -big smiles right back at you-

Guest: Thank you! You remembered Hatori's convo with Shigure (yayayayaya!) and yes, Hatori why don't you remember all the things Shigure told you! You're awfully dense for a smart doctor!

Kris11993: Your reviews are so fun! Kana, get someone else to solve your problems, leave our poor lovers alone! Love your attention to details – green scarves, I'm sure you right really good essays… :) _'__Yeah we just own like half of the city to house all of our family that possibly interbreeds and a select few poof into animals!_' – muwhahaha laughter overboard! I love our charming Shuji. Tohru's left a deep impression on him. He'll be back.

-throws you Kyo and Shuji (cough cough, Shigure implored me to let him come to… trio of handsome men heading your way)-

217 reviews, 37 followers, 25 favs, 11529 hits! Thanks!

(Psst, it's never too late to leave a review. I need them like vampires need blood. Please feed me.)


	37. Chapter 37: Forget You

**/ Thanks for the support!**

**Chapter 37: Forget You **

/

"I absolutely will not do that!" He shouts back vehemently.

_Erase my mind_. I asked him. I know it may not work. That you may end up erasing life as I know it. _Kill me_. But at least it will be a clean slate, right? I could just disappear and no one would know. Or I could imprint on Kyo, or someone who I at least have a chance with. Or is the curse already ingrained inside me like a virus? And I'll forever desire him even though I don't know who he is? I know it's a rash decision, but isn't my new life already a muddle of impulsive decisions? I'm not thinking clearly.

"Why not?" I ask with hurt in my expression. "Why can you relieve me of my pain? Do you _want_ me to suffer?"

"No."

"Then why?"

"I'm unsure about where my feelings lie." _I can't do that to you. Not again_. Why is he finally being honest with his feelings? Of course, when Kana is included in the picture, everything is clear for him.

"Clearly they _lie_ with Kana." I snap back. There's the slightest smirk on my face from my pun. For all I know, they've slept together! I've turned into such a spiteful girl. I've never been so jealous. I had a harmless crush on Yuki that caused me to stutter and blush in his presence. But nothing compared to this.

I've changed. My emotions are everywhere.

"I will not erase your memories." He says stiffly. Something unknown wells up inside him.

I know it's futile to keep pushing him. He's resolute. Am I just testing him? I don't really want that, right?

"Fine. Then at least leave me be." I say sulkily. So much for 'new beginnings.'

I can't stay here any longer. I feel like a fish out of water. When he places his hand over my back to steady my noticeable tremors, I shrug him off with a dismissive, "I'm fine." But when I try to get up, I feel my stomach lurch forward, and the darken alleyway start to spin around me. I lose my equilibrium. The last thing I see is that I'm falling toward the sooty black pavement... oh, it's gonna be painful.

But I never hit the ground. Strong arms catch me, engulfing my teetering form. He pulls me back against his chest. He whispers, "I'm here." Those two words bounce in my head, elevating my headache to greater proportions. Why is he torturing me? His voice is like melted butter… I wasn't supposed to be so weak. I was supposed to get away from him, to clear my head.

After what seems like eternity on the bench, he gets up, bringing me with him, his arm wrapped securely around my waist, holding me up. "Let's get you home."

/

There's a lucid moment when I recall his arm catching behind my knees and his arm around my shoulder to lift me onto the bed. He's so gentle…

/

I wake up in a bed with someone shaking me awake. "C'mon." The voice says.

I open an eye to see Hatori perched on the bed, lifting me to sitting position. In my haste, I knock my head on the headboard. "Ouch," I mutter. He presses a cold glass to my dry lips and I compliantly take a long drink. I don't even bother with the rivulets of water sliding down my chin into my shirt.

"Did you eat today?" The look on his face emanates anger.

I frown. What kind of question is that? And then I remember. I haven't eaten all day. I've been so busy with school. I pulled an all nighter and worked all morning to finish off a 12-page research paper that I turned in this afternoon before I came out with Hatori on what was supposed to be a relaxing tour of the city by night... Instead, there was the unexpected encounter with Kana.

After finishing the glass of water and wiping my face clean, I look around. This place is unfamiliar. When I look out the drawn curtains, I see city lights. "I'm sorry to have put you in an uncomfortable situation. I will pay for this hotel room." My voice is surprising stoic and distant. Just like his.

I've learned from the best.

"Don't ignore my question. You fainted from lack of energy." And as if on cue, my stomach rumbles. I try to raise a protest, but it dies on my lips when his cool lips press a kiss on my forehead.

"I'll be right back." He says.

I lie back down in the fluffy white linens. I'm a burden, aren't I? Every time I try to distance myself, I end up making it worse for the both of us. And now this. I owe him so much.

Why can't he just let me go?

He'd be better off.

He returns quickly juggling several food items in his hand. The smell is fried and delicious. "This was the closest, fastest food I could get. If you want more, I can order-"

"It's perfect." You're perfect.

But you don't belong to me.

"Thank you, Hatori."

He sits on the edge of the bed, and raises a toothpick spearing a takoyaki ball to my salivating mouth. It's an intimate act. I've never seen him do this before. What triggered it?

Whereas his presence drove me to anxiety before, it's calming now. "I'm sorry Hatori." But I can't get over you. I understand if you want to be with Kana, but can you be with me too? Just until the two of you began a physical relationship. I can't be a home-wrecker. But I want my time with you to last as long as possible. I know I'm pitiful.

"There's nothing to be sorry about. The truth is, I'm being selfish. I don't know what I am supposed to do. Yes, Kana has returned into my life, and I've been meeting up with her without your knowledge. That side of me will not relinquish the chance with her. It was a traumatic experience to lose the one you love because of your own weaknesses. But the other side of me, the new side that's been exposed, only to you, wants you. You've uncovered my deepest, darkest feelings. You've changed me and I don't want to lose you. But I know I can't hold onto your feelings for me if I'm unwilling to give her up."

My heart is beating in my chest like a wild horse stampede. He's going to make a decision. I can see the conflicted, warring expression on his face. This is probably the first time he's stuck on a problem he wasn't able to solve instantly.

In my head, I've come to a conclusion. I will be your scarlet woman while you explore the possibilities with Kana.

Because I'm addicted to you.

When we have intercourse (I won't go so far as to call it 'making love'), I see shards of your hard exterior fall away. I think I'm addicted to that power I have over you. In that moment, you belong to me. I lower your barricade. I make you lose control as you pound into me. I make you come.

"I promise to fulfill your needs, but will you give me time to come to a final conclusion?"

He makes it sound like he's writing the final chapter of a book. His life story.

"Yes." Because I love you.

I'll live out this dream for as long as I can. Until one day, it will just burst into a thousand little pieces. But hopefully I'll be left with enough happy memories to last me a lifetime. I don't think I can get over you. _Ever_. You'll never know.

I don't want to lose you.

But how can I lose you when I've never had you in the first place?

/

In the next two weeks, we see each other once. It's quite rough, like he's trying to let out his frustration or something. But I've fine with it. It's like the curse has made me immune to pain.

Just like I've become immune to emotional pain as well.

I'm sure he meeting with Kana quite frequently. To gauge whether or not he has a chance with her. I'm curious myself. Is she divorced? She is somehow regaining her memory? These thoughts are always on my mind. In school. On the bus. In the shower.

I try to focus my attention on the textbook in front of me.

/

Kana tries to act nonchalant about it when she asks, "Who was that girl you were with? We barely got a chance to say hello last time."

"She's a close friend of mine."

"Close as in potential girlfriend?" Kana nudges with a wry smile.

"Possible."

"Then it seems I at least have a chance."

He stares back at her with wide eyes. Those words he's wanted to hear for years. Another chance. But things are different now. He has Tohru. Selfless, loving, patient, modest Tohru. He's being a two-timing dick. He's fallen so hard. This is something Shigure might do, but surely not stoic doctor Hatori Sohma.

"How are things with your husband?"

He hasn't brought up that sore subject in a long time, enjoying her company instead. But if he's going to make a decision, he needs to know. "He's living with his brother right now. Said he'll give me as much time as I need."

After they both take a long sip of their pomegranate green tea, Kana looks up expectantly. "I've told you this before, but when I'm with you, I feel like I've known you forever. I feel safe. I feel... " Hatori presses his lips to hers urgently. It's his final test.

She responds, her languorous lips meshing with his before he pulls away abruptly.

A tingle of sensation shoots straight to his cock. So much for that test.

"I'm not much of a nightlife type of girl but a bunch of us are heading out for some drinks tonight. Would you like to come with me?"

"Yes."

/

I can't believe I've allowed Shigure to drag me out. I'm wearing a modest navy slinky floor-length dress that has a large cutout on my lower back. He picked it out. He said that the girl he was supposed to bring out bailed on him.

He implored me, and I'm a sucker for puppy eyes. He purposely hugged me to transform so that he could waggle is cute little tail at me and persuade me to go out! The devil! I couldn't resist, and when he started slobbering me in sloppy wet licks on my face, I couldn't help but help but say yes.

I pair it with thick wool sweater because it's cold.

"So what exactly are we here for? This isn't like your book convention of something." I recognize this place from a few weeks back. It's the place where I cried my heart out.

It's my sin for loving him. It's only brought me hurt and confusion, and now, numbness.

"There's an informal get together with some big names at the popular publishing houses in the Europe. If I'm able to leave a good impression, they may consider translating my latest books. I'm trying to branch out and since I'm such a charmer, it'll be no problem."

I grin at his gusto. He may be arrogant, but he's also has a magical way with words. He can make any girl in the room feel like a goddess. I'm no exception.

His large hand is resting on the bare skin of my back as we move forward in the long line to get into the club called Seven Sins. My heart is thumping. The mascara is heavy on my eyelashes. I'm not used to this. I'm pretty sure I've removed all my lip gloss from chewing my lips so habitually. I really want to be a good companion for Shigure. I don't want him to look bad because of me.

When we finally reach the entrance, a voice calls me out. "Hey, good to see you again. I see you've moved on." The burly bouncer gives me a wink.

"Name?"

"Shigure Sohma."

He lets us through with a wave of his hand.

"What was that about?" Shigure questions me.

"Oh, nothing."

"Didn't seem like nothing. _Moved on,_ what's that supposed to mean?"

"Probably mistaken me with some other girl." I reply quickly.

/

A/N: 4.16.2013 - Hatori, you're breaking our hearts.

In some Asian countries, they have 4 hour stay hotels (ahem ahem). That's Hatori took them after Tohru fainted. :)

Warrichan: Woot, you're a fast reader… thanks!

Mcangel1976: Lovely review, thanks!

Savethesalmon: Shyness is no reason not the review (ahem, I'm shy too)! Still wuv u! Shuji is coming back.

Guest: u guessed it! Nice!

Alwayskougacola: Hello newbie, good that you have self-esteem!

Phenylephrine: Moah dear! You are so cute! Yes, a serving of jealousy comin' right up! So many men, so little time… hahaha!

Kouga's older woman: Hmmm, we shall see it bite him in the butt in due time.

Onebluefairy: Haha, Kana the Homewrecker. Agreed that Hatori needs to sort out his feelings, at least he was honest in this chapter. He's 'freeing' her up…

Miaboo011: Hehe, love ya!

May96: Roadtrip…! Very cool girl!

Kris11993: Tohru's so shy. She feels so inferior. And OMG, you caught it, girl. You are finding all my evil little clues. Hehe. –high fives u- Emotions bring out the curse, so…

Glad I made u laugh too! :)

Tap, tap. _What now Shigure? You want to go to again? -throws him back to u- _but unsure whether u will accept him or not. P.S. You can always use him as a manservant. :)

KierasFantasy: Thanks new reader! Glad you are hooked!

229 reviews, 39 followers, 27 favs, 11733 hits! YAY! Please continue to feed the beast!


	38. Chapter 38: Chasm

**/ THANK YOU READERS!**

As always, I do not own Fruits Basket. I just like to take them out of the _basket_ for a little juggling. :)

**Chapter 38: Chasm**

**/**

The club is mostly empty in the main lounge, except for a few stragglers standing around the bar. I see that the stage is set up for an event. The dance floor is completely empty. Everything is white, modern, and sleek, with upbeat music to match. It isn't ear-splitting as I was expecting, but probably because the club isn't full yet. _In full swing_. Wonder what it'll be like? This is my first time. A little voice in the back of my head says, '_Yes, and you are here with a man who is not the one you sleep with. He's left you. He doesn't care about you. Never did. You were just an experiment._' There are little booths that are swathed in sheer white cloth to obscure outsiders' view, like beach cabanas. Around the circular room there are entrances to seven other lounges, what the club calls "chambers." That sounds pretty foreboding. It sends an enticing shiver down my spine.

"We're here early. Let's explore."

Shigure immediately drags me off to the Lust Chamber. It's totally dark inside except for a series of dimly lit panels of artistic blank-and-white depictions of the streamlined female body – voluptuous curves, flat planes, tantalizing dips. The pictures manage to straddle the balance between overt sexualization and artistic beauty. It's provocative and sensual and makes me blush despite how cool it is in here. Shigure's perfectly groomed eyebrow forms a perfect arc as he looks at me intently. He tilts his head, causing his dark locks to fall across his face playfully. It's almost as if he can see through me. See my wanton needs. _Ah_. I look away immediately. I know perceptive he is of the female mind. Can't-let-me-see-through-me.

One wall of the room is glass with a waterfall running over it to blur the view of the other side, probably another "chamber."

"Ooo, I should commission whoever took these pictures to do my book cover." Shigure says with a lascivious wink towards me. Suddenly a spotlight is cast on a girl dancing in a glass box hanging from the ceiling. I see more glass boxes but the rest are all empty. Shigure's eyes are instantly drawn to the pretty scantily-clad girl with her hair in sexy pigtails. She's wearing silky pink ruffled pajama shorts and a matching dainty balconette bra. And then Shigure leans close to me and whispers in my ear, "The theme in this lust room is wet dream." Oh. _Oh_. The hairs on my neck stand up. I need a fan. Or better yet, a bucket of ice cold water splashed on my face.

"I'll be in the gluttony room then." I respond, mortified. My voice comes out like a low, husky growl. Sex hungry. I feel my core grow damp. Too bad there is no _fix_ anywhere. My eyes dart to the door.

He grabs a hold of my shoulder and drapes his arms around it. "Not so fast." He orders liltingly. The smirk of his face shows that he is quite delighted that he reduced me to such great embarrassment. The relentless, smug bastard. _Only him_.

"I don't belong here. Besides, do you want the publishing people to see you in here?"

"This is what they'd expect, since I'm a smut author. This is the unspoken meeting destination of course." An amused glint twinkles in his intense eyes. _Enthralling_. "And you belong here. Right with me."

There's no way out of this unless I make a miraculous escape out of here. Just then, there's a horde of very slim, very beautiful people who've just entered the room. It is early February, but the girls are all wearing short, sparkly miniskirts. I'm envious of their confidence.

"Let's check out the other rooms." I say quietly. He obliges with a quirk of his sinuous lips. My first time in a club… this one's definitely exceeded my expectations. I always thought they were just dank rooms where people gyrated against each other to loud music.

The "pride" chamber's ceiling is covered with mirrors. The walls are midnight black, accented with soft lights that cast petal-like shapes against the wall. There are the cages hanging from the ceiling, similar to the other room. I see peacock accents everywhere. There is a large picture of a peacock on the wall opposite the entrance. Its tail is fanned out to showcase its beautiful, iridescent feathers. In the center of the room there is a large-scale marble replica of Michaelangelo's David. There are two fierce lion statues beside him. Guarding him. Wow, this club is like an amusement park. There is so much… eye candy. There are two patrons who are taking pictures with _David_. One girl has her arm wrapped around David's thigh and her mouth close to his… it makes me blush ferociously. I only hope Shigure does see it. His attention is focused on the back wall. Beneath the peacock painting, there is a small rectangular pool of water of shimmering blue water.

"What do you think the water's for?" I ask Shigure. I've understood the symbolism of all the other decorations, but the water is confusing me.

"My guess is that is represents the Greek myth of Narcissus who fell in love with himself, when he saw his own reflection in the water."

/

"Shigure, come with me, the publishers are here!"

I see a frantic Mit-chan drag Shigure away with flicker of a smile toward me. "Come on, Tohru!" She exclaims headily.

Surprised, I follow them. But my feet start to stutter. And before I know it, they are lost in the crowd. In less than an hour, the club has become packed.

I'm not sure where to find them… so I start scanning the masses from the edge of the dance floors, row by row, or more like bunch by bunch since everyone is so scattered. It's almost impossible. The music has become dizzyingly loud. I can _feel_ the beat. And my feet are starting to ache. _Big time_. It's only my second time wearing heels. The first time was to my high school graduation.

After a while, I decide to take a break near the entrance. Maybe that's where they'll be, waiting for the rest of the publishers. Yeah, hopefully.

I crouch down to massage the ache in my feet, and someone stumbles over my form. Luckily she doesn't stab me with her stiletto heels. She's wearing something more sensible, from my point-of-view, but I do see gold spikes coming off the sides of her shoes. _Trends these days_, I say in my head.

After thirty minutes of mindless wandering, Shigure finds me. "Where've you been? I've been looking all over for you."

"Me too."

"Well, come along, no more dilly-dallying!" He pulls me through the throngs of people freeing their inhibitions. A circle of well-dressed professionals greet us.

"This is my houseguest, Tohru Honda." He says, beaming.

"Have you read any of his books?" A pretty girl with cat-eye glasses asks me.

I blush before shaking my head.

"She's not allowed. To preserve her innocence." He places a reverent touch on my back.

OMG, he's teasing me in front of all these important people!

But the people look at me with interest. I've never been under the spotlight. It's weird.

"Is she your muse?" A thin guy wearing a tight suit and a flamboyant yellow tie asks Shigure.

"Yes."

I look back at him with a stunned expression. Uhhh. I can't form words. This is all too shocking. Like a brick came out of nowhere and smacked me right between the eyes. He must be joking. We've never been close. The most we've talked is during meals.

Yeah, he must be joking.

My brain dregs up the memory of drunken Shigure on the ground, mumbling incoherent words about settling down and committed relationships. Yikes! It couldn't be… could it?

No, Shigure Sohma does _not_ harbor feelings for me.

I have too much on my plate.

I can't deal another emotionally damaged person.

/

After some more small chat and flattery, we step away to get drinks at the bar. "What would you like Tohru?"

I wave my hands. "No thanks."

"Fine. I'll pick for you. One Momoshu and one beer."

When a pretty orange drink appears in front of me, Shigure says, "It's made of peach juice, sugar, and sake. It barely has any alcohol. Try it. I promise you'll like it." My mouth closes before words even slip. He can read my every intention. The reason he is good with females. And is a successful author. While someone else… not so much.

I try not to dwell.

There is a small tag in the shape of a bow-tie fastened around the neck of the bottle. It looks familiar, but I can't quite place my finger on it. I'm not exactly toe most familiar with alcohol and labels, but I know this from somewhere…

There is a quote on it that reads: _It is better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride_. – John Ruskin

I take a hesitate taste, and to my surprise he's right. I can barely taste the bitterness of the alcohol. It even smells good. I want to bottle this scent. Hmm-mmm. Maybe I'll take this bottle away as a souvenir. No, the bodyguards will probably catch me with 'glass' and accuse me of trying to harm the patrons. On second thought, maybe not.

We take our respective drinks over to an open spot on the white couch. The guest DJ has just started, and people have moved to the dance floor. Soon, it's just us.

This is my first time 'out' with just Shigure. He's not as bad as Yuki and Kyo made him out to be. He's quite respectful and very funny. He likes to make jokes about himself which I find endearing.

/

I notice a familiar striking figure at the bar and my heart nearly leaps out of my throat. Shigure catches my line of vision and sees him too.

"Out resident hermit comes out for the evening. Hmm, very odd." He grumbles under his breath with a hint of amusement.

_Oh Kami_. My fun comes to a screeching halt. I look down at my damp palms. I can't believe he's here. I came here to get away from it all. I don't want to see him.

I want the illusion to continue. He's on a love sabbatical. He'll get over it. He'll come back to me.

But I know the chances are slim. The way he is looking at her with the deference. He's smiling. _At her_.

I don't think my weak heart can bear the sight of the handsome couple.

"Le-let's go dance."

_Let me forget_.

Shigure gives me a quizzical look, but gets up and offers me his extended hand. "M'lady."

Unable to get close to the stage, or even into the densely packed swarm, we linger on the edge, lost in our own world.

I can't dance, but whatever to focus my attention away from him. I try to lose myself in the tickling sensation of his long fingers curled around my waist. But all I can think is _I can't do this_. I can't pretend.

/

Over Kana's shoulder, he spots Tohru.

His blood runs cold. His fingers clench around the stem of his wine glass. He's seeing yellow spots in his suddenly blurred vision. Is it really her?

What is she doing here? There is the back of a man's shaggy head that seems to occasionally block his view. Argh!

No, it must be a look alike.

_Must be_.

"Hatori, careful, you look like you are about to snap the glass."

He barely hears her.

He decides to move closer for a better view.

/

"Hatori, why are we moving all over the dance floor? I've had about a dozen creepers rub against me." Her voice has a jovial inflection despite the pain in her feet from moving around so much. Darn, she shouldn't have worn these 5-inch heels! He barely registers Kana's words as he's too busy speculating what his little flower is doing in a debauched place like this! He grunts unthinkingly.

_Fuck_, she did _not_ get over him this fast?!

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER!" Someone shrieks behind him. He hears the sound of shattered glass, which seems to start a fight. He can hear the sounds of fists pummeling flesh. No, he has to get _them_ out of here before something happens.

Without a moment's hesitation, his feet are in motion away from Kana. He rushes toward Tohru purposefully. So far across the grounds. _His woman_. His only thought is to protect her, get her away from this chaos. She's isn't too far from the full-fledged brawl.

He seems the shaggy headed man is none other than Shigure. Why was that dog everywhere? What the hell is Shigure doing with her? Did he lure her out?

It wouldn't be unlike him to play the pity card. Tohru was always the obliging type.

/

He sees a lone man _not_ keeping his hands to himself. They are awfully close to Tohru's waist, and he gyrating his lower half too close for comfort. That pushes him to the limit.

"Come!" He barks at her.

/

Shigure gapes after them with a wide-eyed expression of astonishment. What just happened?

_And who was that_?

/

A/N: Cliffy! Ooo, jealousy. Any ideas what's gonna happen next? I had a lot of fun coming up the club themes. What would you guys do for the seven deadly sins theme… hmmm? I'd love to hear your ideas!

ArabellaWhitlock: -gladly gives u a selection of weapons to 'harm' Hatori with-

Tsukiakage: Hey girl, thanks, as always!

Kouga's older woman: Luv u! Thanks!

Guest: Like your torture for Hatori. He'd better own up or get out! Otherwise he's gonna being singing Player's Baby Come Back!

Phenylephrine: -mends you're broken heart- yeah, kana's pushin' it a little, but she feels some deep connection with Hatori that she can't understand

Alwayskougacola: OMG, I loved Easy A. Hehe glad you liked that sentence. :) I'd love to see Tohru get all creative and start doing that. –shoves some red felt, scissors, and pins to Tohru- Thanks!

Mcangel1976: Phew, he has enough logic to not sleep with her, but accept her invite… just as bad, Mister! And yep, you guessed right: party time!

Kris11993: Ahhhhh, your reviews make me squee! Glad you enjoy our banter. :) Hatori hasn't really felt any competition thus far. Hmm-mmm, should I throw some him way… glad you like my little details! :) Wuv u!

Guest: Thanks! Awkward, most definitely. Did u guess right? :)

238 reviews, 39 followers, 27 favs, 11994 views!

Review, pwease?


	39. Chapter 39: Wishful Thinking

**/ THANKS!**

**Chapter 39: Wishful Thinking**

/

Tohru is dragged past the pushy, panicking crowds to a hidden door that opens with the push of a seemingly random collection of LED buttons. She is too stunned for words when she is rushed in and the door is closed behind her.

The man who's pulled her away from Shigure and the dangerous dance floor is none other than Shuji, the neighbor at the vacation home. _What_? It's not her dark prince. Of course it isn't. Why would it be? _He basically ended it with you by telling you he couldn't make up his mind_! Just let go, the realistic side of her brain screams.

"Tohru, stay here, I have to go prevent further havoc."

Alone in the small storage room lined with racks and racks of the aged alcohol and a dim fluorescent light overhead, Tohru finds a seat on a keg. She notices a transparent cabinet filled with the bow-shaped tags that were around all the bottled drinks. That's where she remembered that from! His vacation house!

I can't stay here! People could be hurt… Hatori…

And Shigure…

Tohru tries to open the door to no avail. Why has he put me here? Why does he care? Such a strange guy. Does he work here?

It feels like thirty slow minutes before the door slides open again. Tohru rushes up to Shuji. "Is everything alright?" She tries to charge out of the storage room, but he holds her back.

"The security is taking care of everything."

"But someone I know could be hurt!"

He quirks his eyebrow at her exasperated expression. "That new guy you were with?"

Tohru furrows her brow in confusion. What's he talking about? And then she remembers she came with Shigure.

She's become so pitiful. She didn't come with Hatori, yet all she can think about is coming with him. Strolling hand in hand into the club as a couple. No Shigure. No Kana.

"No-no, that's my landlord!" She exclaims.

_Oh no, he's not taking it the right way_. Shuji immediately assumes that this red-faced girl before him is some closet seductress. _That serious-looking guy from the villa, and now her landlord… who is this mysterious, feisty girl that he can't get out of his mind_?

"I just came with him because – " Her voice trails off. She's unclear herself. Oh yes, to get her mind off a certain stony doctor who had simply turned her away when she had confessed her love for him. Yeah, that's why.

"I want to talk to you."

And now is a good chance?! Tohru wants to scream. There are people possibly getting hurt outside and they are here, hiding out. This is so _not_ her. She's the hero, as he so clearly remembers.

"I-I have to go."

Sensing her exasperation at being held captive, he talks out the walkie-talkie from his back pocket.

"Are things clear out there?"

"Almost sir," responds a gruff voice. "The two parties are being apprehended on the sidewalk right now. The police are just gathering a few witness descriptions."

"Are there still any club patrons?"

"Just a few stranglers."

"Then let the rest of the team know that we can close up early tonight. It's been a long night. Tell the staff that they did a good job."

"Hai, sir."

Tohru is confused by the way the opposite end of the line refers to Shuji as 'sir.'

That's when she notices that he is not wearing the same clothing as the staff. He's dressed in a sleek suit with satin lapels paired with black skinny jeans and Converse sneakers. Yikes. He's no ordinary worker. He's the owner of the club or some vigilant VIP guest or something.

It makes Tohru self-conscious in his presence. She begins to wring her hands distractedly. No wonder he has so many female admirers. With great power comes… wait, I'm not quoting Spiderman, am I? No. I'm not, since I've observed that with great power (cough cough wealth, successful, confidence) come the affections of many women. Shigure and Shuji are living proof.

"What's on your mind?" He asks thoughtfully.

"No-nothing. I want to go."

"Until we hear the go-ahead from the security, we'll stay right here."

"Alright."

"Why aren't you looking at me anymore?"

_Damn him for noticing_! Honesty tumbles out of her mouth. "Do you own this club?"

Right away a smile of satisfaction replaces the worried look on his face. "Yes, this is my baby. I opened last spring."

"It's very creative, but how to you keep up with school? Otsuka told me that you are a masters student as well."

So she had been keeping tabs on him! His heart rejoices at this discovery. He had fully interrogated Otsuka about the details of this mysterious Miss Tohru Honda after she had left his grandfather's home. Otsuka had been resistant at first, but with his charming ways, he had pulled out all the details he needed. She was a student at their university. Good. He'd be able to find her.

And to have her appear before him tonight.

A fateful gift.

When his eyes had first settled over her familiar body from across the club, they had darkened to black. But the man with her. He noticed that her body language toward him wasn't quite right. Being the owner of this hip establishment had allowed him to understand the dynamics of females and males. All the signs. And in this case, all the signs pointed to one truth: they weren't lovers. Much to his satisfaction.

His finger itch to pull her to him, hold her in her frail, shaky state. But he doesn't. He was to restrain himself with this type of girl. Even though he's seen her in the midst of performing _some very private matters_, there is something delicate and vulnerable, yet dark and alluring about her. And he wants to find out. As long as it takes.

"I manage." He replies furtively. He can't give away all his secrets. He's going to peel her back, petal by petal, and get his fill. And he only hopes she does the same in return. "So what are you doing here, Tohru, with your landlord?"

He loves seeing her blush. And he knows this question will draw a blush from her pretty face.

"He's supposed to meet some people and brought me along as a guest."

"Uh-huh," he replies, unconvinced. But before he can question her more, his walkie-talkie bleeps with static. "Sir, we're clear."

He escorts her out regretfully.

/

"What do you mean you lost her?!" Hatori screams at Shigure.

"She just disappeared, like she was swiped away from me! You think I don't want to find her either?!" Shigure's own anger is beginning to brew. How can Hatori just assume that he doesn't care about anyone? Tohru is special. "What are you doing here anyways?" Shigure asks with a suspicious gleam in his eyes.

"That's beside the point!"

Shigure persists. "Who was that woman you were with?"

"It doesn't matter anymore!" _I didn't chase after **her**. And I may have lost her forever_.

/

"I've called a cab for you. Get home safety." Before Tohru can protest, Shuji prods her into the cab and hands the cabbie a large bill.

"You don't need to do this." She says hastily. She opens the small purse she has on herself and finds a several small denomination bills. Not enough to pay him back. But she will. She never allows good deeds to happen to her without repaying them in full.

"I _need_ to know that you get home safety."

"I-I promise to pay you back," she calls back as the driver presses the button to reset the distance/cost tracker. He exits the cab for a quick smoke.

Shuji merely smiles before turning his back to return to the club. He has a long night, or rather _morning_, ahead of him.

As the cab driver is taking his smoke break, Tohru closes her eyes.

The door to the cab is suddenly flung open. A large hand drags her sore body out to the sidewalk.

His aura is roaring with unspoken fury. He pulls her into a small enclosed entrance of some posh looking apartment complex. The bright ray of light shines directly onto them. They are like two timeless performers in a ballet. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same!"

"I was there to get over you!"

"Doesn't look like it!" She says hotly.

"I love you, I want you, forever. If you take me back I promise I will make it up to you. I'll make this work, between us. No more Kana. No more empty promises. I love you."

They have a tense standoff before Hatori's looming body moves in, sweeping her off the ground into his arms. She feels the solid warmth of his embrace. He holds her for what feels like forever… but wait… this is impossible…

/

"Miss, do you have the address?" A smoke-gruff voice interrupts.

/

A/N: 4.18.2013 - Sorry readers, just a dream. Hatori, where the hell are you?! You've got competition now mister! Two successful men have just joined the web!

Savethesalmon: Glad you've reviewed again dear! Glad you liked the club theme, it was much fun to conjure up! Yeah, sorry about the confusion. Hope it's better here. The end of this chappy… just a dream. :(

Mcangel1976: Muwhaha, this is just a small wave. Large tsunami comin in next chapter posted tomorrow!

May96: Hihi! There was a fight happening in the party that did not involve any of our Juunishi or precious Tohru. Hatori panicked and reacted quickly: to get Tohru to safety.

Phenylephrine: Haha, luv ur enthusiasm! Yeah, his first instinct. Anyone free to massage Kana's poor feet? Cricket chirp-

Guest: Virtual dessert for catching the hint honey! Shuji is a BOSS. Handsome. Check. Smart. Check. Successful. Check. Caring. Check.

Taken. Nope.

Warrichan: Cuteness overload! -squee-

Kriss11993: I look forward to your long reviews! -yes-! Weapon o' choice, eh? Mike Myers, girl version, muwhaha! Shigure, Shuji…Competition, you hear Hatori?! Thank you for your kind praise. –blush-

Miaboo011: HELLO! Hehe, loved the confusion in ur review. :)

Kouga's older woman: THANKS!

Guest: -big grin- proud of u for guessing correctly. It all breaks down next chapter, stay tuned!

Preview: "Kami, the place is called _SIN_ for fuck's sake! Do you think it's the type of place you should be at? There was a guy all over you! You're so naïve you didn't even notice not tell him off! The real world isn't all roses!" Hatori spat the words like there was something grimy on his tongue. There was such shocking vehemence in his usually calm voice.

248 reviews, 39 followers, 27 favs, 12254 hits! THANKS!


	40. Chapter 40: Basic Instinct

**A/N: Happy Friday readers! **

**Warning: Foul language.**

**/**

**Chapter 40: Basic Instinct**

**/**

His brusque voice shatters her little glass bubble of illusion. Hatori didn't drag her out of the cab. He's not here, and she's on her way back home in a cab hailed by another man.

Tangled web, indeed.

All she wants to do is curl up in her soft bed and fall into a dreamless sleep.

**/**

When she gets home, she spots Hatori on the porch, pacing like a caged animal. But it's too late to hide as his eyes gaze up. He strides over to her and pulls a fleece throw over her shoulder before ushering into the house. Shigure is fretting on the couch, but with a deathly glare from Hatori (and the satisfying knowledge that Tohru is safe), he goes back to his room with a defeated huff.

"Are you okay?" His voice is hoarse. It sounds like chalk on a blackboard.

She doesn't respond for a long time. But he continues to stare daggers into her until she breaks her prolonged silence. There are hard lumps in her throat that she finds impossible to swallow. "Yeah."

"Where did you go?"

"I was just at the club." She shrugs. She really doesn't want to be interrogated tonight, not after this whirlwind. She just wants to lie in her empty bed and let the hurt beset her until she is numb, unfeeling.

"What were you doing inside the club?"

_Getting away from you and my own thoughts_. "Just accompanying Shigure." She says quietly.

"Kami, the place is called _SIN_ for fuck's sake! Do you think it's the type of place you should be at? There was a guy all over you! You're so naïve you didn't even notice nor tell him off! The real world isn't all roses!" Hatori spat the words like there was something grimy on his tongue. There was such shocking vehemence in his usually calm voice.

_Why does he care_? Tohru doesn't want to hear his stinging vitriol. It's her night off. It's her decision how she wants to spend it. She doesn't want to hear a lecture, especially from the person who's toyed with heart, but ultimately, left her wounded and alone. He was the one who wanted space. Wanted time to determine what was the best for _him_. Anyways, what was _he_ doing here? It wasn't fair of him to expect something of her that he couldn't follow himself. She had seen the giddy couple tonight. Kana had stuck _her_ straw into _his_ mouth for a taste of _her_ drink and _he_ had eagerly accepted it. Tohru had been bubbling with jealousy at that point. There was no hiding it. But luckily Shigure was too excited to realize his companion only had eyes for another man. She had averted her eyes from the pain. And then out of nowhere (she had thought she kept well hidden from them) she was so forcefully dragged away by Shuji. He'd rushed to get her to safety. Not Hatori. Not the person she wanted.

Back to fucking square one. She'd been in this same place months ago. Hurting. Thinking about all the destructive alternative ways to survive. The painkillers again? Before she can voice her thoughts, he continues without considering his words too carefully, "I'm not going to sit around and watch you…" His voice trails off, because he realizes something crucial. He's speaking from his heart for the first time. It's knocking inside his chest, wanting to get out. This spew of angry, disjointed words is his deepest confession. His deepest desire. He's _almost_ literally just thrown up his bleeding heart for her to see.

Her head jerks up, but her brown doe eyes are glazed over. "Please go back to Kana. The longer you stay here tonight, the harder it will be to explain to her that _nothing is going on _between us." Tohru says automatically, her face drained of color. She feels like she's going to throw up for telling that lie. _Something is going on between us, at least from my end. I'm still hopelessly in love with you_.

He lifts her chin to look at him and her eyes convey a combination of hesitation, fear, and hopelessness. Not what he wants to see. _You don't really want that, do you Tohru_? But there's no taking back what comes out of his mouth. "But that's just it. Something _is going on_! I don't want her! Don't you see? When there was a fight in the club, I came to you first but I could find you, dammit! It was my first instinct to get you out of there." He says it like it's all he's ever known – the clearest truth. And it's all clear to him now.

She's all he needs.

All he wants.

_All this time_.

He's been too fucking stupid to realize what's been fucking staring at him the whole time.

Her face is frozen into a placid visage. After she's tucked all her emotions in a faraway box… it comes back and drops on top of the head with the immensity of a ton of bricks. She feels like she's going out of her mind. This is mental whiplash. His words come flooding back to her. _I promise to fulfill your needs, but will you give me time to come to a final conclusion?_

_/_

_I_ wasn't your final conclusion? That resentful part of me shouts.

This is too good to be true.

If I accept you, it will probably fall apart again. I'm apprehensive. My enthusiasm has only ended in my broken heart. I-I can't trust you.

He can read her mind from the emotions that splay across her face like a flipbook. But he can only wait for her final decision. _Please take me back_. _I can't offer you a large enough apology, but is it enough that I've essentially crushed that diamond shell around my heart and handed it to you on a silver platter?_

What if he's too late? What if she's moved on this time?

Did he ever think about what she wanted?

Wait, she did look happy with Shigure… no, it can't be. Not Shigure… he's not… good enough… but you are? Says a mocking tone. That stupid voice that has made him so apprehensive about everything, suspicion at every corner. He's always so afraid. Afraid to lose a good thing. So he doesn't allow himself the honor of having a good thing. A crushed look slips over his face like a mask. No. No. This can't be the end.

It hasn't even started yet. Everything up to now has only been practice, a prelude. He's finally able to show some ounce of true emotion, but it's too late… it can't be. _Kami_, it can't be. His pulse is racing wildly. His heart is sinking exponentially.

Even if she doesn't accept him back. He's still grateful. She's really unlocked his heart and threw the key away. There's no more hiding his feelings.

Because tonight proved that she means something to him. He chose his future. He doesn't feel embarrassed. Because at least she knows. _I won't lose her to my past or my pride_. It's not bottled up inside him like a ticking bomb.

It's up to her to decide now.

He wants her so badly. He's finally realized.

"Did you think that maybe it was because I was with Shigure and you think of him as a rival or something? Maybe you just don't want to see me with someone else?"

She dares to look up at him directly. "Hatori – is it really just me? I have to know. I don't think I can compete with Kana anymore. Even though I care about you enough to pretend that you don't love her, the illusion can't last forever. I told myself that I was okay with giving you time to think about it. But I realized the hard truth. I can't. I'm selfish too. I have to be the only one for you or not part of your life. Is that too much to ask for? I've never had anything to call _mine_. And –" She's babbling incoherent words again. He says so much in so few words, and she… she rambles. He effectively stops her with a rough kiss. He's needed this. His voice is a rasp against her lips, "You're beautiful. I've chosen _you_. And you are _mine_."

He pulls back to study his beautiful Tohru. Yes, it's her face in his dreams, the soft lines of her face, the delicate features. Her lips are parted and she's breathing raggedly. He watches her eyes flicker over his face before drifting off to the side, exposing the enticing stretch of her neck, flushed pink.

Yes, she is really all he needs.

He suppresses a groan when he sees her biting her bottom lip. Oh Kami how he's missed her. All her little actions evoke his deep, primitive needs. The pad of his thumb traces the line of her jaw to her plump bottom lip. _It's been you all this time. Despite how hard I tried to make it work with Kana. There's nothing between us. It's in the past. I've been stupid and juvenile. It's just my figments of my past anchoring me down. _

/

A/N: 4.19.2013 - Does Hatori deserve a 'yay' (or a nay… for being too late…)

Mcangel1976: Thanks girl! Yeah, it's only a matter of time before our perceptive 'Gure finds out…

ArabellaWhitlock: Good to hear from ya! Mission: make H jealous!

Guest: Hey newbie! Thanks for following! -throw you a carrot to feed your beast hehe- TxH is my fav pair too! So much opportunity for angst and romance. :) Luv ya!

Miaboo011: Hehe, Tohru's too in love (or is it lust?) with him. One love square (possibly pentagon) coming right up!

Guest: ur cute w/ your mystery dessert! Yeah, his issue with Kana… wonder if he will end that properly…

Phenylephrine: The punching in Chapter 38 was just between some random drunk patrons at the club. :) I want a Shuji!

Guest: Hehe Tohru has all these secret men after her.

Kris11993: completely, utterly LOVE UR REVIEWS! Always look forward to them. Glad you liked the note on the bottle. I love when authors leave little clues, I thought I'd try. I actually have a list of clues I'd better tie up properly before I finish. No loose ends! I fooled u with the dream… muwhahahah makes me so happy. –evil cackle- Loved your battle scenario too cute for words… yay!

Traceless-Poison: glad to hear from ya missy! Love ur anger toward H. TY TY for your support dear!

257 reviews, 39 followers, 27 favs, 12511 views.


	41. Chapter 41: The Prisoner

/ WARNING: (LONG OVERDUE) SMUT. ENJOY!

**Chapter 41: The Prisoner**

/

He drags her up the stairs to her bedroom and shuts the door behind them firmly, locking the door just in case there are any intruders. He pushes her back against the door and leans his head down, taking a moment to inhale her scent. Her eyes fly open as his mouth begins to move roughly against hers. Exploring the oasis of her mouth like a parched man in a desert. It's an act of possession that turns her knees weak. She finds a thread of will to push against his chest. He staggers back slightly, allowing her a clear opportunity to look at his face. That handsome, haunted face in all her dreams. In the moonlight, she can see the sharp angles of his pale face. His eyes are marked with clear lust. She wants to ask, "Do you want me? No reservations." But it's futile. Because no matter what he says, she'll always _want_ him. Need him. Love him. Take whatever she can get from him. _Even if it ultimately hurts her later_. Her tongue darts out to moisten her lips and he can't hold it back anymore.

His hand reaches a lock of flyaway hair and tucks it behind her ear before running his thumb over her kiss-swollen bottom lip. It's so soft. He lifts her chin up and presses a soft, lingering kiss on her lip. This is a kiss of promise.

Tohru can only give in.

He lifts her up bridal-style (it's the only way he can without triggering the curse) and in response, she wraps her fingers around the nape of his neck. Subconsciously her fingers tickle the locks of loose hair at his neck. It sends a shiver down his spine. He's never had a woman touch his neck so intimately. It is a pleasant, though unexpected feeling. Who knew the skin there could be so sensitive? He has so much to learn.

And he wants to learn with her.

She crawls off the bed and kneels on the ground beside him. He feels his jaw tense. He can guess what she's about to do, but why? This doesn't satisfy her lust.

Her eyes flicker toward him as she begins to unfasten his slacks and pull them down along with his boxers. He steps out of them automatically, still baffled. He always feels uneasy when she does things for him, like he doesn't deserve it. Like somehow if he pinches himself hard enough, all this will just disappear. _She will disappear_.

"Are you sure, Tohru?"

She answers him by lifting his aching cock in her gentle hands. When her mouth closes over the crown, he lets out a loud gasp. His arms reach backward to brace himself against the bed. _Oh Kami_.

The sweet 'o' of her mouth engulfs his rigid cock. She traces her tongue around the ridge, swirling her hot mouth over the sensitive skin. Her eyes stay open to watch his reaction. He's shocked into silence by how skillful she is since this is only her second time sucking him off. _He was her first_! His heart swells with emotion. He can't keep doing this and not taking full responsibility for her, a little voice inside him says. He threads his fingers through her silken hair, careful not to put any pressure on her, as he watches her. The visual is as stimulating as the feeling, her head bobbing up and down on him. She flicks her tongue over the vein on the underside of his shaft, causing him to give a strangled groan as she continues to lick the rest of his shaft.

She rests her plane of her tongue over the head of his cock and moves his cock against it, causing several drops of salty pre-cum to leak out onto her tongue, which she swallows keenly. When she looks up at him through hooded eyes, he gulps loudly.

Her mouth plunges forward, taking him deeply until she feels like it's reached the back of her throat. She read about this in one of those lusty books. She's inhaling through her nose deeply. Judging from his shallow breathing, she's doing this correctly. He can't believe it. It feels so good. A tight and warm sheath. She's doing this for him. _Out of love_. When she feels the strain, she comes back up for air. "You didn't need to do that." He chides, but the thickness of his voice betrays him.

The unexpected blend of actions keeps him guessing – her hands, her tongue, her soft sounds, keeps him on edge until he feels the coiling inception of an orgasm. Her teeth graze the tip of his cock. This is the last straw. He can barely register his surroundings when the warm gush of pleasure spurts forth and he forgets to remind her. But it's too late; he spills his white cum into her mouth. A guttural sound escapes his throat. Tohru feels empowered.

"Sorry," he says abashedly.

/

After a moment's rest, he pulls her onto the bed. _Her turn_.

"Will you have me?" He says. His dark, intense eyes are completely focused on her. Her heart is lodged in her throat. She can't speak. She's in, too deep. She can feel warmth pooling in her belly. This is the closest to commitment as she's getting and she's not going to let it pass. Her thighs rub together in anticipation.

"Yes." _I am your prisoner and you are my captor_. His fingers are trembling as he slips her panties off her smooth, pale legs.

"Have you been on the pill?" He'd understand if she had stopped, hell, he'd probably still take her here and deal with the consequences tomorrow. He can't resist her anymore. He needs to be inside her, filling her.

She nods shyly. She's been taking the pill dutifully.

There is no foreplay. _Now_.

His fingers maneuver down to her sex and inserts inside her. She's wet. Always. For him. His finger leaves the apex of her womanhood, but not before brushing over her sensitive clit. She jolts in unexpected sensation. Without a further hesitation, he slips his eager cock into her wet sheath, moaning because of the tightness. She holds back a cry. He feels different tonight. It's been too long. He begins to thrust long, even strokes, in, out, in out. Soon, the discomfort disappears. She can't let her guard down and relax, instead she feels helpless as she feels herself clench around his cock so tightly that she feels like she's going to burst. She begins to arch up toward him, but he holds her down. Turning into a small seahorse would not be the best thing right now. His eyes lock with hers as he drives into her harder.

"I'm coming." He says apologetically, squeezing her thigh in warning. Her insides her contracting viciously. She's about to come undone as well. He restrains himself until she reaches her climax. Soon she muffles her orgasm into his shoulder, nipping the skin there in her violent ecstasy. He moves in and out of her smoothly to keep her on the crest of her wave until he feels her come back down.

She feels him twitch before a foreign warmth floods her womb. This is the first time it's happened. The heat, the feeling of his full length contracting inside her. The sensation is indescribable. It just feels so good. Satisfying. Her inner muscles are clenching all around every centimeter of his pulsating cock. It makes her feel closer to him, if that's possible. Like they share some deep connection.

Before he collapses on top of her, spent, he rolls off. He wishes one day he could just collapse on her. Let their two frantic hearts beat closely. Feel her soft, yielding body against his.

_I want to be like this forever. Give me forever, Tohru_.

Tohru rolls on her stomach, resting her head on her arms, watching him through lidded eyes.

"Good night, Tohru." He says huskily, his eyelids feeling heavy after that completely sating session. His hand reaches for hers. He brings their joined hand to his lips and places a gentle kiss over her knuckles before dropping her hand on his beating chest. _Forever_.

"G'night, Hatori," Tohru says sleepily, basking in the pleasant feeling of his other hand stroking the curve of her backside. It's relaxing. Hypnotic.

/

The next day, she feels sore. She loosens the numbness in her limbs by doing a little shake until she realizes that he's still in her bed. _Yikes_.

"Hatori," she whispers quietly.

He mumbles a little, but slings his arms over her thighs, holding her possessively. _Even in his sleep_, she thinks happily. His fingers curl around her skin, putting her on edge. _Her heart does a somersault. Oh, he's gonna trigger it again if he doesn't stop right now! I can't have that. I need to get to school_! After she prods his shoulder a few times, he finally opens one lazy eye. "Huh?"

"Y-you're in my bed." She says with a little frown.

He grabs the cloud-patterned coverlet and looks around. Indeed, he is surrounded by… girly things. And surprisingly, it doesn't turn him off despite never being raised with any females or living with any.

"I have to get to school and you to work."

Before she can rise out of bed, he grabs her arm. He's staring at her with a knowing smile. "Afraid that we'll be caught?"

"Er, no!" She spits out, turning red at her stuttering response. "I've got to prepare breakfast and myself and sneak you out!"

"If my memory serves me right, Shigure is a late riser, so we have time." He says with a lascivious look.

No time for that! Wasn't last night enough! It seems like she's not the only lusty one anymore! Maybe he's been put under a spell too. She can feel her muscles go weak.

/

She's eating her granola bar before her next class. Luckily she didn't miss the bus this morning, with all Hatori's antics and all. And no, they did not have morning sex. Her face turns red at the thought. She clenches her thighs together to stave off the corresponding little tingle.

"Tohru!"

She looks up in the direction of the voice. She's shocked to see Otsuka running toward her.

"I need your help."

/

A/N: 4.20.2013 - How was a little makeup sex?

And how is Hatori gonna tie up the loose ends (cannon, I mean, hahahahahahaha!)?

What are your thoughts my dears?

ArabellaWhitlock: YAY, so happy you are enjoying the emotional ride alongside Tohru!

Guest: Adorable! -throw a pokeball at you in response- You guessed right you lascivious little lucky duck!

Mcangel1976: Yes, many things to be dealt with. :) Thanks!

ChristmasEveBrat: THANKS SO MUCH!

Kouga's older woman: Supply is chuggin' along! Thanks!

Warrichan: Cute cute cute! Thanks!

Miaboo011: THANKS!

Kris11993: Haha, Shigure the shunned. Warning: Hatori emotional overdrive: blazing. Who knew he had it in 'em?

Guest: Yep, everything is out in the open now. Still a few things to patch up, but seems like smooth sailing…

267 reviews, 40 followers, 27 favs, 12738 views!

Reviews make my day! It's never too late!


	42. Chapter 42: Chocolate Affair

**Chapter 41: Chocolate Affair**

/

"What's up?" Tohru chirps.

"Well, White Day is coming up and I want to do something special for a girl in my class."

Tohru's eyes light up. "Chocolates?" It was tradition for boys to give gifts to girls. It is the opposite of Valentine's Day where girls presented handmade chocolates.

He gives a small smile. "Yep."

"Just your luck, because that's one of the few things brag-worthy about me." Tohru says.

"Figures, since that cake you brought to the party was so good."

"Glad you enjoyed."

"I barely got a slice since all those hungry girls at the party were like vultures. According to Shuji, I had to sit on the sidelines until they got their fair share."

Tohru chuckles. "Cool, when are you free?"

"I should be asking you that, since you are helping me."

"Anytime."

"Same here. How about this Friday? That will give me time to get to the market."

"Sounds good."

"Let me give you my address." He rips out a piece of paper from his notebook and writes down his address and phone number. "4 o'clock? And what ingredients should I get?"

"4 o'clock sounds good. I'll text you with the ingredients. You'll also need some molds."

"Hai. See you then, Tohru!"

Her life was looking up.

/

"Who are you texting so happily to?" Hatori asks as they are together browsing through books at a new bookstore. He avoided bringing them back to that bookstore for fear of meeting Kana. He's been ignoring her texts since last night. He needs to end it tidily. But how?

"Just a friend."

"Didn't you say your friends weren't here? They are studying abroad?"

"Yes. But if you must know, I have other friends too," she replies with an eye roll.

"Do I know them?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

"Otsuka."

"The new guy we met at that party?"

"Yes."

As long as she isn't seeing that not-so-innocent Shuji and his damn-cute-little-notes-attached-to-forgotten-garme nts, he could deal. But that guy was a Shigure. He knew from the instant he saw him. That mischievous glint in his eyes. He wanted to get into every single girl's pants. Well, he won't be getting into this _taken_ girl's pants any time soon. For one thing, she doesn't _need_ him because of a curse.

_The ties that bind them together_.

"We're making chocolates tomorrow."

"Yum."

Tohru looks back at him, slack-jawed. Her body turned to jelly last time she saw him text that during their game of 21 questions. And to hear it coming out of his mouth like that? _Swoon_.

Meanwhile… he could handle Tohru spending time with other guys. _Really_, he could.

/

"Wow, this place is nice."

Tohru had been shocked when she'd come to the street corner of where Seven Sins was. But she could understand if wanted to live by his friend's club. She had rung for Otsuka at the entrance who had buzzed her in.

There was a pleasant doorman who greeted her politely. Wow, this place was nice. Like 5-star hotel nice. No ordinary student lives in place like this.

Otsuka lived on the fifth floor.

The door was open when she arrived. He had on a frilly purple apron. Seeing her lift her brow in surprise, he said, "Hey, don't judge, it was the only color they had. We normally don't cook, so I didn't have anything to cover myself in, in case of attack of the chocolates. Got you one too."

"Thanks."

Tohru looks around the apartment. It looks much different that the college dorms she's been in. This looks really modern in shades of grey. There is a large canvas of a nude female's body on the wall. Tohru looks away. _Uhhh_.

Perceptive Otsuka sees what she's looking at and immediately mumbles a quick explanation. "Not me, I swear. That's not my style. It's my evil overly sexualized roommate."

"I doubted it too." Tohru said with a relieved sigh. She doesn't want to find any more skeletons in closets and whatnot. She's had enough this week.

"Would you like a tour?"

"Sure."

"This is the lovely kitchen with stainless steel appliances and beautiful granite countertops. The whole house was professionally decorated before we moved in, so this is not a reflection of my tastes, though Shuji was a big part of the whole design."

"Shuji?" No wonder it kind of reminded her of the club.

"Yeah, he is like a Renaissance man. Brains and style. He has interests all over." Otsuka doesn't mention, _including you_. Shuji had nearly squeezed out every fact about her from him that night at the vacation house. Shigure, what a piece of work! It'd probably scare her to have the affections of such a guy. Plus it looked like she was with the other guy. No need to mention it. Plus, Shuji would probably murder him if he'd found out he spilled the beans.

"Shuji is your roommate?" Tohru says, incredulous. She can't believe they live together. Shuji is so crass and arrogant, and Otsuka is so quiet and nice! What?! Opposites really do attract.

"Yeah, his family owns this whole building. The club is on the first floor. I just pay rent."

"Wow." She did not know the extent of that guy's control. But he's still an arrogant, foul womanizer (with a sweet side she doesn't want to admit).

So this is my room."

It's an anime fan's fantasy. Manga, posters, figurines, and drawings are spread across all surfaces.

"It's pretty childish," he says sheepishly.

"No, it's really cool. Is that Luffy?" Tohru says, pointing at his computer screen.

"Yeah, I modeled him in 3D. I haven't done all the shading and stuff, but…"

"Wow. That's good. He looks just like he does in the series."

"Thanks."

Next, Otsuka takes her to the end of the hall. "I don't think he would appreciate me taking someone into his bedroom. But that's it."

On his door there is a crude sign that reads, "Stay Out!" Wow, despite the professionally decorated space, there are small signs of his juvenile behavior. It's fitting for that guy who makes up his own drinking/social games. She can guess what Shuji's room would look like. Either simple and modern like the rest of the apartment or a creepy 'Fifty Shades of Grey' red room. She shudders at the thought.

"There's only one bathroom." He flips on the light in the largest bathroom Tohru's ever been in. It is fit for a queen. There is a large marble Jacuzzi, standing shower, a vanity area with a pedestal and mirrors, and his and hers toilet/sink area.

"Very nice."

"Yep. I get the best deal in the city courtesy of my best friend."

"Thanks for the tour. Let's get back to the kitchen!" Tohru says.

"Oh yeah, back to business."

The kitchen is completely bare – counters, cabinets, and fridge. There is a small bag of fresh ingredients with several silicon molds in the dish rack.

"Oh, starfish and seahorses?" Tohru says, shocked.

"Yeah, she loves the ocean."

"Very intuitive. Girls like that."

"Ok let's start.

"We're first going to heat the cream for the ganache. Do you have any pots?"

"Uh, yeah, I just bought one."

"Oh, you didn't have to… you could have asked me, I could have brought one over…" Tohru says frantically. She doesn't like that he's spent unnecessary money.

"Don't worry about it. I'm gonna need one in the future anyways, right?"

Tohru nods.

"Do you want to flavor the filling with anything?"

"I know she likes peaches but they aren't in season."

"Do you have any Momoshu?" Tohru is proud to use her very limited knowledge of alcohol here.

"Uh, yeah, actually we do. We have lots of liquor up in here. Wait a moment." He disappears down the hallway.

_Oh course they do. Shuji owns an endless supply downstairs, as if he needs any liquid courage_!

Under Tohru's watchful eye, Otsuka adds some of the fizzy orange liquor. "I'm going to turn the heat down low for the next step."

"Now, chop the chocolate bars into small pieces so it'll be easier to melt."

Tohru turns off the heat before instructing Otsuka to put the chocolates into the heated cream. "Stir gently until it melts. It will turn into a syrupy, goopy mess which we'll pour into a plastic wrap lined container to wait."

"Mmm-mmm, smells so good," Otsuka says.

"Want to try some?"

"No. I'm saving myself for the final product." He says with a lick of his lips.

Tohru chuckles lightly. He's so sweet and innocent. It's nice to hang out with someone who isn't so melancholy and makes her heart knock in her chest agonizingly.

"Now we have to cool it in the refrigerator for at least 2 hours."

"Wanna watch some TV while we wait?"

"I'd love too."

"They are halfway through a game show when Tohru hears the jiggle of keys in the front door. When the door swings open, she hears a high-pitched giggle.

"Otsuka, we'll be in the bathroom. If you need to use it, do it now. We'll be in there for a while."

Tohru feels her cheeks flush. He hasn't seen her yet. And she wishes she could melt into the couch. She doesn't really like the intensity of his steel-colored eyes when they look at her.

"Ooo, Otsuka has a guest?"

He walks over, effectively blocking Tohru's view of the flat screen TV hanging on the wall with his broad chest. She tries to maneuver her head around as a non-verbal sign to get-out-of-the-way, but he doesn't follow.

"What are _you_ doing here?" He says. _Girl of my dreams_.

"I'm helping Otsuka make chocolates?"

"Don't you have better things to do on a Friday evening?" He says.

Tohru drawls, "No." This is fun. What exactly is 'better things'?

"Just figured that a girl you like would want to spend time with that guy." She doesn't understand why Hatori and him keep referring to the other as 'that guy.' It's like some guy code for 'I don't like him.' She doesn't understand at all. Despite living with mostly men for many years.

Shuji shrugs. "Just asking."

Tohru can see the clingy girl by his side is getting impatient. She is rubbing her cleavage against his arm. "Come on," she moans into his ear.

He stares daggers into Tohru for several more beats before taking his girl down the hallway to the bathroom.

Tohru whispers to her companion, "Is he always like that?" She doesn't really hate the guy, since there must be some logical reason why Otsuka has stayed by his side all this time. Sometimes the most prickly pears have the sweetest insides.

"Most weekends. Girls from campus. Girls from the club. Everyone wants to hook up with Shuji Kato."

"Uh-huh."

After finishing watching the show, they finish off their chocolate making process. Otsuka cuts the ganache into bite-size chunks and Tohru melts more chocolate for the outside layer.

"Dip the ganache into the melted chocolate and let it dry on the cookie sheet. The unused melted chocolate we will use for the molds. Now comes the fun part."

Tohru takes some two waxed papers and folds them into makeshift piping bags. "Decorations! We'll start practicing."

They spend the next hour making all kinds of decorations, using sprinkles, edible metallic powder, paper cutouts.

Otsuka pouts. "Each of your creations looks so professional. Mine just look like a 6-year-old child's sad artistic attempt."

"Don't sell yourself short."

Completely immersed in the task ahead of them, neither notices the girl slip out the door with a sad frown on her face. Soon, Shuji, hair wet, naked chest glistening with the last droplets of water, stands behind Tohru to watch her meticulously at work. She's outlining the shape of a seashell carefully.

"Boo," he whispers next to her ear. She jumps up in shock, squirting a long line of white chocolate across the parchment paper in front of her. When she sees him with that telltale smirk on his face, she frowns at him. She bears her teeth and growls at him in mock anger. Truthfully, tonight she is just too happy to care. He can tease all he wants, but it's not going to affect her negatively.

He takes the piping bag from her clutches and nudges her aside with a swing of his hard hips. She stumbles sideways. He takes out a clean sheet of parchment paper and sets it down on the granite countertop. With ease he begins to draw, completely focused. Tohru remembers his non-too-chaste drawings at his vacation house.

When he's finally done, Tohru is holding her breath to the point of passing out.

It's a simple manga version of her profile.

It can't be anyone else because of the precise details he puts in it_. The mole on her left cheek_.

_What is this guy up to_?

/

A/N: 4.21.2013 - Shuji doesn't even need to look at her because he's completely memorized her face! Oh, Kami someone's under her spell.

Mcangel1976: Hehe, no trap. Thanks for the review!

Phenylephrine: Love u too! Yes, a little respite from all the angst is definitely in order! Good prediction about where there's Otsuka… Shuji isn't far. :)

Guest: Glad u liked! Don't worry, more smut in a few more chapters. Hmmm, how would Shigure react?

a) give up;

b) compete;

c) ménage (nuwhahahahaha);

kouga's older woman: You're very welcome!

Guest: More sweet moments soon dear! They need a vacation… hmmm…

Tsukiakage: Hey again, glad you liked it!

Kris11993: (YES LONG REVIEW!) Hehe, a girl's gotta have some secrets. :) I liked your innuendo there missing… riveting to the core… hehehehe! One of my own: Keep 'em comin' (

Otsuka is a sweetheart. I like him too.

May96: Hi again! :) Unfortunately my chappy supply is dwindling. I have about 3-4 left. Need to start brainstorming again.

I have a clear idea what I'm doing with the story, but I need to tie things together. Evil hint: The Kana bit is nothing compared to the next angsty bit that awaits us.

Onebluefairy: Glad you are happy with the story! So many men now. Hahahaha. Gonna be conflicts. :)

278 reviews, 40 followers, 27 favs, 13024 views! Thanks!

Please review!


	43. Chapter 43: First Cut

**/ Short chapter!**

**Chapter 42: First Cut**

/

He finishes the drawing with a whiff of air coming from my mouth in the shape of a squashed heart. That isn't symbolic, is it?

I can feel my cheeks burning. I just want to vanish from this kitchen right now. Why did he draw that? I've tried to distance myself all this time… and I come crashing down like a meteor.

"Recognize who it is?" He asks, a curl forming on his sensual lips.

My mind is briefly in la-la land so it takes me a while to respond. I feign ignorance. I don't want to accept this gift.

His loud laugh bounces off the walls. "I'll just leave it there then. Please continue with whatever you were doing." He gives a gentlemanly bow before disappearing down the hallway to his room. He just strolls in, messes with my brain, and leaves. Now I have to deal with the aftermath. _Shut up, thumping heart_.

Otsuka mouth is wide open. I can tell he doesn't know what to make of the quickly-turned awkward situation either, so he opts to stay quiet, working on his decorations. It seems like this isn't Shuji's typical behavior.

Absentmindedly, my hand wanders off the parchment paper to find the sprinkles and I slice my finger on the sharp blade of the knife. I let out a sharp hiss of air. Ow, that hurts. _ Really hurts_.

Why am I so distracted?

Not wanting to draw attention to myself, I run cold water over my wound. _Breath in and out. Don't look down_. Otsuka looks up at that moment and screams bloody murder. His voice is high in fright. Honestly, the water is making it look worse than it actually is…

Out of the corner of my eye, I spy Shuji making his way over. He immediately drags my stubborn body away from the kitchen into the large luxurious bathroom. He sets me down on the edge of the large Jacuzzi tub. There is a black bra thrown over the edge of the adjacent shower. Oh. It's all too overwhelming, being in the presence of such a dominant male and evidence of his 'previous activities.' I feel weak and… weird. I'm not sure if it's my inability to stand the sight of blood or something else.

"Hold on," he says. He's running a white wash cloth under the faucet. When he's finally done, he rushes over to be and kneels down beside me. He takes my hand carefully in his and wraps the warm towel around my cut finger, applying gently pressure. He's holding my hand upright, gently. He's rubbing gently circles along the back of my hand. Not sure why. It's like we're in some awkward dance.

The royal blue mosaic walls are spinning around me, but I manage to stay conscious. Usually I faint after seeing blood. _My own blood_. He's so close, and I notice the small details in his face. _Don't! Look away. He's too_…

He's frowning. I hope he's not mad at me for ruining his perfect night.

I blurt out, "I'm sorry, I should go."

I make an attempt to rise, but dizziness engulfs me, causing me to wobble. He grabs a hold of me, his eyes flashing with something. Not sure what it is.

Then suddenly, he's lifted me up, cradling me close to his chest like I'm a baby. I can't help but wrap my legs around his torso, holding on tightly to him. I've never been this close to a man… "Let me go," I say, a bit more forcefully. But I know it's futile because he's already leading me toward his room.

"Here, lie down."

He places me gently on his expansive bed. "I can't be here." I say. Really, I can't be one of those girls who act weak in an attempt to snag a guy's attentions. Ignoring me, he says, "Keep your hand elevated."

He exits and returns a moment later with a bandage and some gauze. "Not sure what you'll need for this," he mumbles under his breath. He's a study of composure. He must have taken a note out of Hatori's book, I think to myself. He's so different from that night of the party.

He wraps my finger up with expert skill.

Feeling much better (mostly due to the fact that the blood is covered up and out of my sight), I rise off the edge of his bed. It's much bigger than any other bed I'm seen. Everything he has is bigger. I blush. I don't mean it _that_ way. Since when have I turned into a lascivious old pervert?

Since the curse.

He's still holding my hand. He's studying the lines on my palms. Then out of nowhere, he presses a soft kiss into the center. "Hope this heals soon."

"Thank you."

/

Their eyes meet for a brief moment.

"Let's get you back to the kitchen. But you'll be watching from the sidelines for the rest of the night." He says, almost regretfully.

/

Otsuka has thankfully cleaned up my area. "Welcome back. Are you okay, Tohru?"

"Yes." Thanks to this strange man beside me.

Shuji directs me to sit on the stool to watch them.

"Ladies and gentleman, welcome to Shuji's Chocolate Expo where _I_ show you how to decorate chocolates!"

/

A/N: 4.22.2013 – Happy Earth Day! A little damsel in distress scenario. I wonder how Hatori would react if he found out?

Guest: 200 chapters? THANKS SO MUCH! Thank makes me so happy. Don't worry, with all the lovely support, I'm sure I will stay motivated. Lots more to come. Can't wait to see Hatori's jealousy come out to play. RAWR!

Phenylephrine: :) –beams in happiness- Hatori, burn!

Guest: jelly jealous sexy marshmallow fluffy – you are adorable! Wonder what Kana is doing right now? Haha!

Tsukiakage: OMG, so glad the fire ordeal is over. Just in time for spring! I'll definitely PM you my email, I'd love to see pics!

ChristmasEveBrat: THANKSSSSS! Published, nah, no where near that level of goodness. Ur flattery makes me so happy tho! Luv u! :)

Mcangel1976: Hahah!

B: Thanks, are u a new reviewer? I will remember u as 'B.' :)

Alwayskougacola: OMG, you review is so funny! HAHAHA apron=body condom, I will never look at my apron normal again. YOU'RE FAULT. Hehe. I wanna be his wingwoman too

Kris11993: You're longest review yet? Hmm-mmm loved it! Glad you enjoyed my pun. Otsuka is a cute little mouse from Cinderella. :) Intensely twisted mind u got there with the seahorse mold/Kana tie in. You need to become my partner in crime. –evil grin- However, that is not what I have in store. Muwhahaha! Epic indeed girl! Loved your orgy idea (Yuki included… he'd be all like 'huh, when did this happen? Who are these two ppl I've never seen before? What the hell happens when I'm gone?') WUV U SO MUCH!

288 reviews, 40 followers, 27 favs, 13,197 views. THANKS!

PLEASE FEED THE BEAST INSIDE ME WITH REVIEWS (and virtual brownies)!

Kouga's Older Woman: Thanks!


	44. Chapter 44: Finding Comfort

**/ The streak lives on! Warning: Wee bit o' lemon zest and mention of suicidal thoughts in someone's past.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. **

**Chapter 44: Finding Comfort**

/

It's nearly midnight when Tohru looks at the clock. She's clutching at her sides from all the laughter. This night has turned from fun to painful to very fun. She's had a great time, but it's getting late.

"What, you have a curfew?" Shuji says with a crooked brow.

"No, it's just—"

"Why don't you stay the night?"

"No, I have to get back!"

"Duty calls, White Rabbit?"

Tohru smiles at his Alice in Wonderland reference. He is filled with surprises. "No—"

"Okay, fine. I don't need an explanation." _Keep your secrets. I'll find out eventually because when I set my mind to it, I always succeed_. "Do you need a ride home?"

"It's alright."

"Are you sure? It's late. Is it because you just don't want to accept a ride from big bad me, because I can get you a cab if that's the case."

"Thanks, but really, it is okay. I'll get home safety."

Shuji shrugs before saying good-night and heading off to his room. Tohru and Otsuka clean up the kitchen before starting down the stairs.

"Thanks again for teaching me." Otsuka says.

"If you need another lesson just let me know. Tonight was a lot of fun. So… thanks."

"My pleasure. I had a lot of fun too. It's great to talk to someone who isn't totally afraid of Shuji."

"Yeah, well I try to keep that guy in line."

Otsuka offers her a kind smile. "Good luck with that. I've been trying for nearly a decade."

Otsuka walks her down to the lobby. "Are you sure you don't want to take up Shuji's offer to drive you home? It's really dark out, and this isn't the safest part of the city. There could be drunk clubbers downstairs…"

"Don't worry about it Otsuka. The subway station is right over there." She points.

Reluctantly, Otsuka lets her go out the glass door. After watching her cross the street safety and disappear underground, he returns up to the fifth floor with a pleasant grin on his face. Tonight was a success. With homemade chocolates to prove it!

Tohru notices eight missed calls on her cell phone while she is waiting on a bench. The last one was twenty minutes ago. Deciding it isn't too late for him, she calls Hatori.

"Where are you?" He asks, trying to keep the fretful edge off his voice. His stomach has been curling into am unrelenting knot since this afternoon.

"I'm waiting for the subway."

"Fuck! I could pick you up," he says, standing up from his swivel chair and walking toward the front door. His body is completely rigid. It's so late. Doesn't she have any sense of safety?

"No it's okay." Tohru's not sure why he's angry. Has she caught him at a bad time?

"I want to see you tonight." To make sure you are safe. I've been worried sick all night.

"It's too dangerous," she replies.

I don't care. It's already a risk that you are alone out there at night. Your safety is more important to me than anything in this world. If you won't let me pick you up, at least, I'll meet you at the house. To make sure.

/

When she gets off the bus, he's there, surrounded by darkness. He's sitting on the bench looking tense. Some of his hair is out of place, falling in front of his hurt left eye like a shield. It looks like it's been raked through by a man clearly in too much distress. "I'm here to escort you home safety."

Tohru welcomes his chivalry by taking one of his hands in both of hers and walking toward the forest path.

"So, how was tonight?" He asks. _What had her stay out all afternoon and evening_?

"Making chocolates! I brought you some of the failed ones."

"Oh thanks," he says with mock enthusiasm.

"Not as pretty but equally delicious. The pretty ones are being saved for a special someone."

"Not another guy, right?"

"No, in fact, a girl."

"What?"

"I helped Otsuka make chocolates for a girl he has a crush on."

"Oh, I see. Can you teach me how to make food next time we're at the villa?" It's not fair that other guys are receiving better treatment than he is! He'll make sure that isn't the case! _She's mine to cherish_!

Shocked into silence, it's a few seconds before she replies, "Yes! Of course Hatori! That sounds like lots of fun. Can't wait to see what your other ineptitudes in the kitchen are," she teases.

"Hey, you said I passed with flying marks on 'whipping eggs' last time."

"Hai, you did, with score of 98%. But there is so much more to learn. I can't wait to come up with a list of skills for you to learn and then test you on."

"Bring it on, chef."

/

"We're here," he says remorsefully on the porch. They are standing face to face. Neither of them wants to make the first move to separate.

"Do you want to come inside?" Tohru asks.

"Yes."

Silently, they go into the house and make their way up to her bedroom. They've become more lax in their 'rules' about remaining strangers outside of the villa. He can't do that anymore, especially when he feels such deep feelings for her. He can't keep his hands off her. He's never been this 'careless' in his whole life, stepping through life on tiptoes, avoiding the cracks on the ground. But no more. The _feelings_ are just exploding inside him. He can almost say _it_, but not yet.

Baby steps.

Those three words could be the ultimate jinx. It could take away this beautiful mirage. It's his only superstition. He doesn't believe in the rest of that crap about stepping on cracks and broken mirrors. He's done it all. But now he with the woman cares more about that life itself. Fate can't be _that_ cruel.

His fingers are at the front of her shirt, clumsily trying to unfasten the stubborn little discs. Her skin pebbles into goose-bumps as she waits eagerly for him. Once all the buttons are undone, he slips the fabric off her small shoulders and traces the contours of her lean body with his teasing finger up to the back of her bra. The tickling sensation causes a familiar wetness to pool in that heated place. With a flick of his fingers, the bra is unhooked. Pulling down the straps, he sees her beautiful milky white breasts. He cups the flesh in his palms before rolling her nipples between his thumb and middle finger. Tight hard points. Ahhh, so responsive.

Aroused by the sight of her head thrown back in glorious abandonment, he guides his finger to the apex of her thighs. Much to his surprise, she's soaked through her panties which he slips down her legs impatiently. She kicks off the offending scrap of fabric. The look in his eyes is one of need. _Good_, she says to herself smugly.

Using his finger, he begins to work small, feather-light circles around her hard clit. Ah, so teasing. Barely there. She wants to thrust herself into his hand. "Not yet," she moans. It takes all of her self control to push him away. She wants to see him in the flesh as well. To see his arousal to fuel her own. She wants to see him come as undone as she does.

He's standing their unsure of what to do, anxiety lining his face. It's endearing to see him waiting for her command. First, she presses a sweet kiss on his cheek. Then she reaches for the hem of his shirt and pulls it up his slim torso. He lifts his arms so that she can remove his shirt, but he's too tall. She's on her tiptoes but she still can't get the shirt off his arms. She makes a sound of futile attempt which makes him chuckle lowly before helping her out. Once his top is bare, she peppers a ring of kisses on his collarbone. She's not sure if he'll like it but she enjoys it when he does it to her. She's repaying the favor. He's not responsive, but that doesn't deter her. Her lips drift downward to find his dusky nipple. She takes it in her mouth and sucks on it hard which cause him to let out a sharp hiss. "I'm sorry," she blurts out before backing away.

His hands dart out to hold her close. "No, it's just too sensitive."

"Oh," she says softly.

Her fingers tweak his nipple which draws out the same hiss. Then, her teasing fingers move down his protruding rib cage. Too thin. She can see the slash of the scar on his alabaster skin. "Where did you get this?" She's been wondering from quite some time, but it never seemed like the right time to ask. But she needs to know, now.

"Myself." He answers plainly.

"What do you mean?"

"I cut myself_." In my own rage. I felt helpless in determining my own future and turned to the only way I knew how. _

_To prove that I was still alive. _

_I let myself bleed_.

She waits for the word 'accidently', but it doesn't come. A swarm of emotions seize up her heart. No. This can't be. Her pure Hatori has not inflicted damage on himself on purpose. He wouldn't do that. She is speechless, grappling with the overwhelming knowledge. There is an expanding hole in her chest. _No_. He didn't do that. What would drive a man to do that? The edge of death? Her mind is wandering to all the terrible reasons. Only to come to the conclusion: _It hurts me to see him hurt_.

As I stare at his beautiful face, I see the visages of a broken man wash away. When he's with me, he forgets. I can make him forget. I have the power to. The tumult of feelings that assaults me makes me want to hold his head my lap and stroke his hair until he falls into a peaceful sleep. To provide the simple pleasure of being held when there is a frightening lightning storm outside.

I don't know if he's ever felt that comfort.

If not, I want to be the first to provide it.

/

"Oh fuck, what happened to your hand?" He demands when he notices the gauze wrapped around her hand.

"I cut myself." The same words as him. "_Accidentally_," she adds.

He is slightly incensed that she got hurt because of her carelessness. But he can't always be by her side. Instead, he will instill within her the significance of being safe and healthy.

Because she's not just living for herself, but for him. Other people care.

She's not alone anymore.

/

Both have wounds.

But time will heal hers, just as it has healed his.

/

A/N: 4.23.2013 – HOPE U GUYS ENJOYED! Your thoughts? Smut in tomorrow's update! (Almost didn't update 'cuz ff was acting weird)

Mcangel1976: Haha, so mean toward to Shuji. A man can't help but be transfixed by our Miss Honda. She's so sweet!

May96: Hello! Glad you are enjoying!

Penguin: Thankies little one!

Phenylephrine: Love love love u! -Shuji teleports over to u with offerings of a head of cabbage (it's the quickest thing he could find in his bare fridge) because he hates useless flowers. Something useful like cabbage is so much more interesting. _- Do you have room for me? I can stay in the closet if that's alright with you_.

Miaboo011: Hehe, I sense ur hate toward out little dark-eyed man?

Kouga's older woman: Thanks!

Guest: -collects brownies in open mouth- Thank u for your compliments! Even thought Hatori is taken, Shigure is free! Would u like a visit from him? (P.S. He says he's free on Friday)

Guest: U are funny! Yes, Shuji is H and S lovechild! Whoot. I want him! Yep, Hatori flipped over the injury. He doesn't know that Shuji was there. Is Tohru keeping secrets of her own… Tohru is so stubborn. If a man offers u a ride, take it! Note to girls: Don't go in the scary subway at night.

Kris11993: ur longest review methinks? –grin like Cheshire cat- Haha, I wonder when Yuki will pay a visit. Glad you like the italics; I tend to get a little too happy with them. :) -throws virtual paper in the air for girl to catch- we all want paper cuts so that Shuji will patch us up and take us to his bedroom –slight masochistic- I LOVE PUNS. More pwease. Bigger is better, says Shuji. _Let's make some fabric softener and snuggle_. That needs to be on a shirt or something. SO CUTE.

297 reviews, 40 followers, 27 favs, 13453 views.

Love you all!


	45. Chapter 45: Sights and Sounds

**/ Yay, over 300 reviews now! Ahhh, I missed my deadline by a few hours! …Enjoy!**

**Warnings: SMUT.**

**Don't own anything.**

**Chapter 45: Sights and Sounds**

/

"Don't worry me anymore," he says simply. I stare at that innocent expression on his face, the way his molten eyes are pleading with me.

Once I nod my head, a relief washes over his rigid stance. He places his cool hand at the small of my back and presses his leg between my thighs, parting them with ease. I feel my feet shuffle backward on the tatami mat until they meet the wood frame of my bed. I slowly crumple down on the soft mattress and he follows suit, his long, lean body stretched out beside me. My desperate body moves of its own volition over his so that I'm straddling him. My fingers thread through his hair as I lean down to kiss him, and my serpentine tongue delves between his lips, exploring him. His tongue is wetter than I expected and insistent. He moans into my mouth softly, which I swallow, as if I can take a piece of him. My frantic hands are running all over his body, feeling the raw power of his muscle rippling under my fingertips. His biceps are surprisingly taut for someone so thin. Men are different creatures. I remind myself. I know how strong he is, how easily he fills me to the brink, to the point where I am crying his name out in rapture.

I don't dare to close my eyes. _I want to feel you. Remember you. With my eyes. With my fingers. With my body. The way our bodies unite in the ultimate proclamation of love. I don't want to ever, ever forget the sensation you bring me. The way you can push me to the brink of insanity and bring me back to reality – under you, beside you, feeling you, taking you all. I want to commit you to my brain like my favorite lines of a book. Forever printed in my brain. _

_Don't let me ever forget_.

My hands grip the column of his neck gently, caressing the smooth skin at the nape of his neck. I know this is a pleasurable, sensitive spot from all my 'practice.' Indeed, he lets out a small moan. This time, like last time, he is letting his guard down. _More than before_. His moans. His heavy breaths. The soft fluidity of his body underneath mine. He isn't afraid that I can hear his voice – so clear, so rich. I hold his head in my hands as I search his eyes. _Do you want me_?

It's as if he can hear me, he responds, "Always." There is no hesitation in his eyes. I literally feel my body sink into a cloud, floating above reality. _Yes_, he wants me. I've been seeking acknowledgement, acceptance my whole life. And I've finally found it. He's here.

I've found him.

/

I break our deep gaze and trace his jaw up to his ear with my tongue. I suck the tender flesh of his earlobe into my mouth. In, out. His breath hitches. I know why this time. I'm beginning to understand him quite well when he's in this state. My suckling sound, the in, out action is mimicking sucking his cock. Oh god. I'm getting wetter just thinking about it, as if that's possible. He can probably feel my wetness collecting on his body. Ugh, does he find that gross?

Self-consciously, I rise up from my seat on his lower torso.

My body screams at the loss of contact with his heated skin. "Where are you going?" He asks, gutturally.

"I'm sorry. Am I too wet? I mean, I've been sitting on you and –" I'm babbling incoherently like an idiot.

"Everything is perfect. You're perfect. Don't ever apologize. Don't ever apologize to me." He interrupts, raggedly. _Stop thinking so hard about everything, Tohru_. He can't believe he's saying that. It's usually him whose mind is running rampant, thinking about worst-case scenarios. _And as if being too wet is a problem._

My body slides lower so that I can feel his obvious erection beneath me. It's hard as iron and intimidating and _mine_. He's mine. I told him that all my life I've never had anything I truly called mine and that I was unwilling to share him. And he effectively shut me up by telling me that it was mutual, right now. _ You're perfect_. His words ring in my ears.

I'm so goddamn content right now. I can just melt into him. But alas, no time for that, my emotions are high and I need him to fulfill me. I've learned that my curse makes me ache for him when I'm at an emotional high or low.

I sit on his strong thighs and unzip and pull down his pants and boxers all in one. I'm too impatient right now. I hold the root of his cock firmly and begin to push myself down on him. Once I'm in, I stop. Perfectly suspended. Frozen. He's staring back at me, completely delirious. He's at my mercy. My body is completely on fire, burning. Primed.

I reach out to find his hands that are balled into tight fists. I pry them open and lace my fingers through him. I want _us_ to feel _together_ as I push down on him.

Each centimeter I take in makes me clench my teeth. My core is pulsing wildly. I feel so full. I focus on the feeling of him underneath me, joined. I struggle to stay in control. In my insatiable lust state, I am rarely this patient. But I want to tease out all his reactions. I'm in control tonight, and I want to wield my power over him. I am taking charge. I will not be bound by my lust. I will be bound by love.

His hand squeezes mine reflexively when rise up before I drive down his length as far as I can. An exhilarating shudder courses through my body.

I begin to move atop him. He stifles in his groans to which I stop moving. I'm going to teach him that being a man does not mean he has to hold in everything. It's as much of a turn on for him when I scream, as it is for me when he screams. He is not a man because he is silent. He finally realizes the game I am playing and stops trying to hide his voice. _Good_.

Emboldened, I feel myself clench down on him. I hope he learns his lesson to never mute himself again!

My movements turn frantic when I can sense an orgasm set to seize my body. _Ahhh_, I can't move fast enough. There isn't enough friction between us. I mumble a barely audible 'More' which he somehow hears. His fingers tighten against mine before unthreading themselves. The expression on his face turns from apologetic to determined. His fingers dig into my hips as he begins to piston in and out of me. With this added friction. I can feel the built up, I'm quaking. We both speed up our movements, until I feel my eyes roll back in my head. My lungs are screaming for oxygen. "I'm coming!" I cry out softly, still aware that there is someone sleeping downstairs. The intensity of my climax ripples through me like a violent current. Oh Kami. I feel lighthearted when I come down from my euphoria, panting loudly. I'm completely limp. I've died and gone to heaven. My eyelids feel heavy, like I can take a good long century-long nap. Immediately all the side effects of the curse vanish. I'm freed and calm again despite the slight twitches of my body.

Seeing me completely satiated must have sent him a message. He begins to thrust his hips up to mine. I grind against him. But it isn't enough. "I need you," he pleads. In one fluid motion, I am pinned under him. He rocks his hips back and forth sinuously, purposefully. His orgasm is near. I can tell by his quick, hard thrusts. I hook my legs around his lower back and lock them together tightly, cradling him between my legs. He's straining above me, holding himself on his forearms so as to not trigger the curse.

His breaths are coming in faster, interspersed with grunts and drawn out moans. I can see his eyes fluttering, ready to roll back into his head, but he maintains eye contact. He wants to remember too. Not just some instant gratification, but a memory – sight, sound, feeling.

I have a right mind to warn him to keep his voice down, but I can't bring myself to do it. It makes me feel alive. It's pushing me over the edge again. Plus, Shigure is a very heavy sleeper.

He's finally loses his control, spurting into me, filling me with his seed. _Mine_. I can't feel his chest, but I can feel everything else. Inside me, around me.

His hips still. I feel the world around me come to a halt as well.

Just the two of us, suspended in time.

_You are all I need, Hatori. _

_For a lifetime_.

/

He removes himself from my damp center, coating a trail of semen on my thighs, in which my body immediately cries out in despair. However, we remain entwined through the night.

/

At dawn, I drift into consciousness when he stirs. He separates himself from our thoroughly entangled bodies. "I'm sorry, I've got to go."

The regretful look on his face is an exact mirror image of mine.

Until next time.

/

A/N: 4.25.2013 - Our two lovebirds are throwing caution to the wind, eh? H getting impulsive.

Savethesalmon: Glad we share the same idea of what Hatori is. Love ur icon of Hatori!

Mcangel1976: He has not told Kana yet… that remains… lingering on the edge…

Miaboo011: Hehe, so cute! Shuji is darker Shigure, eh?

Kouga's older woman: Thanks!

Guest: H is a closet alpha male. You mentioned the phrase… if the story goes according to my original plan, yes, we'll be heading down that dark, dark road…

Ooo, love your slice of lemon comment. Did it live up to expectations, little lascivious duck?

Phenylephrine: Hehe, Shuji comment liked! Yes, more skeletons!

Guest: Poor H. So much sadness in his past. Haha about creepin', so glad u r leaving reviews tho! Love to interact with readers. :)

May96: Hehe, glad you liked it!

Kris11993: Love all the nouns u put in there! Glad u are enjoying so much! Makes me happy! This was way more than just zest, this was JUMBO lemon. Yuki, who knows, maybe he will pay a little visit… hmmm…. What is he up to in his high job position? I always love reading your insightful reviews with their funny quips! More movie ref in next chapter! It's a Japanese one! H let loose this chappy! Please stay that way, H! Ooo, loved the pun at the end. So many flashy cars on the highway, and that Lambo in Miami I saw on vacation last year…

306 reviews, 40 followers, 27 favs, 13756 views! (From my mini status tracker at the end of each chapter, I've come to the conclusion, that despite my loyal readers, there are no newbies. –sniffles sadly like on Halloween when no one comes to ring the doorbell for candy-)

Please leave a review? (P.S. Anon/Guest reviews are totally welcome.)


	46. Chapter 46: Almost Normal

**/ Enjoy dears! **

**Don't own Fruits Basket.**

**Chapter 46: Almost Normal**

/

_Who: You!_

_What: Mystery Movie Night_

_When: 7 PM Friday_

_Where: Shigure's House_

_Why: Dinner, Friends, and a Movie (and all-you-can-eat-homemade-snacks)_

Send.

I send out the email to my group of contacts under the category: Sohmas. It has been too long since our last movie night. Supposedly, Akito has become more lax in the comings and goings of the estates. Much to the relief of everyone since spring was coming. Beautiful weather meant everyone wanted to go out and spend time with friends. Momiji mentioned that Akito had been cooped up in her room for more than a week reading through old scrolls that she dug up from storage. Odd woman. But still very much intimidating.

This time, I get to choose the movie because I won at a game of darts. Kyo had made a poster of Shigure and whoever was the first to stick him in his pearly white teeth, won. Bingo! I won on my sixth shot. Not sure if he let me or not… but I tried not to think about it too much.

I take out my notepad and start jotting down the snacks I'm going to prepare. Since spring is right around the corner, I'm going to incorporate lots of yummy spring ingredients. Strawberries, zucchini, sawara fish, bamboo shoots, peas. And my favorite, mush-mush-mushrooms! I know that many of the Sohmas don't like that earthy, fleshy fungus, but I'm on a mission to change their old habits. (Hatori is one of them.) I like to sneak in all kinds of "deemed" unpleasant ingredients. They rarely call me out on it. It's either because I'm just that good (self pat on the back) or because they don't want to hurt my feelings. Either way, I will continue my mission for a well-balanced, nutritious, varied diet for all!

I can't help but doodle little toadstools along the side of the paper. I'm so happy. My life feels... complete. I'm with the one I love. And he cares for me… to some degree.

/

The night before, I find some time to fold origami animals to use as placeholders for those who have RSVPed. _I can't wait_.

/

"Kyo, get back in here!" I scream. I'm getting frantic… on my last nerve! I blow my bangs out my face for about the twentieth time in ten minutes.

The crackle of the zucchini in the hot oil sounds like it's about to sizzle and burn if he doesn't take it out right now, Since my hands are covered in fish scales and slime, I can't possibly get the zucchini out.

"I have to get the ice for the watermelon juice! Shigure's on the couch doing nothing as usual! Get him!" Somehow, I think Kyo is purposely going to get the ice at this moment to force Shigure to help out.

"Shigure!" I blare out.

In a blink of an eye, Shigure is standing beside me, waiting for instruction. He has his hands in the praying gesture. He's is far from saintly. But he's offering, and I'm not turning anyone away at this point.

I swear that despite how much I love get-togethers like these, they tire me out. They leave me bone-tired. But it brings all-around happiness. I can't give up.

"Use the tong to pick out the tempura that looks ready. Place it on the paper towel to soak up the excess oil. Oh and put on these gloves so you don't get hit with little oil grenades."

"Alrighty." He says, slapping on the pink latex gloves with the precision of a surgeon in an emergency room. Odd Shigure Sohma. What a sight. But I digress. I need to finish prepping this fish. Why did I get this bothersome fish again?

Kyo returns from the garage with a large bag of ice over his shoulders. "When are you going to tell me what movie you chose?" He says in a whiny tone.

"Be patient."

"You know I can't!"

"Fine. If you must know." I rise on my tiptoes to whisper into his ear, "Kimi wa Petto (You're My Pet)."

"No, seriously? A chick flick?"

"Hey, don't make me remind you what you forced us to watch last time!"

"What? That's a family film. Said so on the guide."

Shigure chimes in, "What guide have you been reading? 'Cuz that was no family film."

"GRRRRRRRRRRRRR, you're always on her side! I can never win in this house!"

Shigure gives me a knowing look which I return with a raise of my eyebrow. Yes Kyo, we're in a plot to bring you down.

"It's because our little flower is always right."

With a growl, Kyo takes his materials (whole watermelon, blender, ice, bamboo cutting board, and trusty knife) to the back deck to do his juicing business. He makes a lot of effort to get away from us. He's still so pouty and childish, but I've gotten used to it. And plus, he's really amusing.

/

The guests start trickling in at around 6:30. I can tell from the look in their eyes that they are on empty stomachs. Luckily, I've already laid out some bowls of wasabi peanuts, tempura, and seasoned nori. I just hope they don't fill up on that because I have a really delicious dinner planned.

At exactly: 7:19, my secret lover rings the doorbell. I know it's him, because everyone else has arrived. I hurry to the door before anyone else can get to it. In everyone's haste to get food, I manage to sneak my hand into his for a quick squeeze. He squeezes back. I hate being so secretive about our relationship, but I understand the reasons and repercussions. He gives me a brief smile before following me into the kitchen. I help him get a plate and pile on all his favorites. Subconsciously, I've prepared his favorites. I only realize now. I'm blushing like a spring rose. But no one notices. They would probably assume it's because of the heat from all the cooking anyways. He bows in thanks and we all settle around the dinner table.

After we all finish, we move to the living room. I've pulled in some soft cushions for those who are sitting on the ground. The younger Sohmas are kind enough to settle on the floor, saying that the 'hosts' deserve to sit on the couch. Despite my hesitation, with everyone's collective push, I sit on the couch in the middle of Shigure and Kyo. I'd actually prefer to sit somewhere in the dark corner, furtively with my Hatori. But that's not happening tonight. Instead, I'm the barrier between the cat and the dog. Yay me.

I see out of the corner of my eye, Hatori is around the periphery, as always. He's like everyone's guardian angel.

"Everyone, the surprise movie tonight is equal parts romance, angst, and cuteness. Hope you enjoy what I picked out."

Once the movie starts, I hear a combination of 'ahhs' and groans, from the girls and boys, respectively. But everyone stays attentive except for Kyo who is already starting to mutter under his breath about my cruelness in forcing him to watch a _girl_ movie.

Twenty minutes in, I feel Shigure's arm around my shoulder. I'm not sure if it's intentional. Maybe he's just stretching, but _it's-not-going-away_. After some beats, it settles on my shoulder, light like a butterfly's touch.

I can feel Hatori's eyes searing into this scene between Shigure and I. Even in the dimness, I can see the horrified, disgusted expression on his face. A definite case of… drumroll please… jealousy. Suits him. I tilt my head down to hide my little smirk of delight. I only tease him a little longer before I excuse myself for the bathroom. After I finish my business, I return, to find Hatori in my seat. Three large men sitting on a _not-so-big_ couch.

I cast suspicious glances at both men. The ubiquitous, frequently wicked smile on Shigure's face has wilted. Hatori wants to play games, eh? He doesn't want me to sit next to Shigure so he's taken my seat? Very interesting.

"No fair, I'm squished now." Shigure says loudly, interrupting everyone's focus on the movie. Momiji pauses the movie. With a sigh he says, "What is it, Shigure?"

"Hatori stole Tohru's spot and now I'm squished."

Momiji rolls his eyes as if hearing that has just killed dozens of his brain cells. The silence ripens. Everyone's looking at the couch and me, waiting for a quick resolution so that they can return to the movie.

"I'll just sit on the gr-ground," I stammer. I hate confrontations.

"Then I want to sit on the ground too," Shigure says, making motions to get up. Hatori grabs the man beside him by the arm in a vise-like grip. "Not a chance," he says lowly. Without another word, Hatori gestures for me to come over. _Me_? I ask, pointing at my face.

I do as asked. Out of nowhere, he pulls me down on his lap, cradling me. "Happy now Shigure?" Hatori retorts, his voice sounding heavy.

Everyone else seems to think that's the end of things and Momiji resumes the movie. I'm tongue-tied. Did Hatori just assert some ounce of dominance over me, _in public_ of all places? Oh Kami, I'm melting. Blood rushes up to my cheeks and straight down to my core. A hot, wet mess is starting to pool between my trembling legs. This isn't good. At least not now, when there are almost a dozen people around us. I shift uncomfortably. I want this, but it feels so… different.

Almost like what a normal couple would do.

/

A/N: 4.26.2013 – Hope you enjoyed seeing a little jealousy. :)

Guest: Thanks!

Warrichan: Glad u approve! Unfortunately curse is not gone yet. More developments on that end soon!

Mcangel1976: Yes we will. :)

Kouga's older woman: Thanks!

Traceless-Potion: Hehehe, -sends u Shuji via broom with a bouquet of cauliflower- Yes, lemons are awkward but fun too! I get to showcase some intense emotion in there! Yes, I get emotional writing and reading some really angsty stories! I actually wrote an end scene for this story… not sure if I'm gonna use it tho, _so heartbreaking_ … Good tips… hmmm… draw from personal life… interesting things you see/hear, places you've been… unfortunately I've never been to Japan, but I have seen dramas and done research into food/culture/fun places… I'm so happy u like this story!

Kris11993: Hehe, Shigure the eavesdropper. Luckily he isn't on to them yet! You are too punny! (funny and puns) They are totally being impulsive… ah, young love! –detective kris to keep an eye out on Mr. Hatori Sohma-

Guest: *fans self in response* thanks! I like to spice up the lemons! Hopefully our H doesn't go all batshit Christian Grey on us! (lol that would be c-r-a-z-y)

Guest: Yeah, ducky is back! Thank you for appreciating my lemons! It's a great outlet to display emotion, especially for someone like H. Yep, H is definitely changing… opening up… hurdles = definitely… soon, the Kana debacle… how will he handle it?

314 reviews, 39 followers (noooooo, I lost one, where did I go wrong? –sniffles-), 27 favs, 13964 views! THANK U!


	47. Chapter 47: Standoff

**Chapter 47: Standoff**

/

Kyo gives a shudder at the cloying affection between Tohru and Hatori. _Only he knows_. A growl of disapproval erupts from his lips before he leaps off the couch like it's contaminated to plop on the ground beside Haru. "Take my seat Tohru."

With a silent nod, I thank him.

I hear a small huff of displeasure to my far right. Shigure is sulking. Arms crossed, eyes averted. Literally dissolving into the soft cushion of the sofa. I don't understand why he so angry about Hatori's behavior. Shigure sees me everyday! Why is today any different? However, whatever the reason he's doing this, I don't know but it's working. Hatori looks about ready to hurl fists. He's showing the faintest red color across his pale face. _My Hatori_. I can't help it when he's like this. My heart is about ready to leap out of my chest in elation.

After the movie finishes, everyone is chattering happily. Surprisingly, those who had shown indifference at the beginning are now animatedly chattering about how much they liked the movie. Shigure says aloud, "Was the movie some kind of subliminal message that I should be someone's pet?"

"Maybe," I reply, shrugging. The male character was repeated compared to being the female protagonist's pet dog. But Shigure groveling? Being cute? Not a chance.

/

With a silly smile on my face, I move into the kitchen to start washing dishes. Kagura, Momo, and Momiji offer to help out, but I shoo them away by telling them I like to wash the dishes in a particular way.

Just watching everyone chattering and exchanging small talk makes me so happy. One big happy family. This is the family I never had. Despite all the damage of their past, this is the family I cherish. _Through thick and thin_.

/

"What is going on?" Hatori says through gritted teeth as Shigure drags him down the hall into his room.

"I want to ask you the same question!" Shigure pulls out his chair which scrapes against the floor jarringly. "Sit!"

"What?" Hatori says, following Shigure's command to sit. He shows aloofness on the outside, but under the surface he is fuming. Thinking back, it wasn't really a good idea to show such behavior in front of everyone but he couldn't help it! He was so angry with Shigure trying to take what was his! Shigure really was a willful dog the way he was "protecting" his territory. Tohru was not sitting next to that lecherous lizard brain guy! In the heat of the moment, it was on the tip of his tongue to shout it out, but he held his tongue. No one would be benefiting from that lack of restraint. Instead, he swallowed against the heavy lead feeling crushing his chest.

"Why do you care that I wanted to sit next to Tohru?"

Typical confrontational Shigure. He was never one to let things stew.

"I just don't want you near her."

"And why is that? We live together and you've never shown your disapproval before. Why now?"

_Because things are different now_.

"She's been through a lot in her life. She doesn't need someone like you screwing things up."

"Me, screwing things up? Pray tell, why would I do that?" Shigure scoffs.

"I've known you almost your whole existence. I know how you are around girls. You thrive on their attention and fawning. Then you unceremoniously dump them. For you, everything is a game of whims. She doesn't deserve that. She doesn't need that in her life."

"I've lived with her for fucking _years_. Why are you telling me this now?"

Since I've noticed the way you are acting differently around her. You took her out to the club instead of one of your many groupies. You've never done that before. Don't think I let you off the hook for that. They way you are looking at her isn't alright either. It's not pure. And prior to that, remember the time you were drunk and spewing all this stuff about "a wifey" and settling down? Yeah, I was there. And I don't approve. I don't want you anywhere near her, confusing her with your mind games. She's too easy for you to manipulate. I won't let that happen.

Fists clenched, Shigure takes a step toward his interfering best friend. Hatori stands up, meeting the challenge easily, since he is taller. "Maybe I'm considering my options because I'm at the age." Of fucking what?! Hatori wants to shout. Don't you dare say marriage because there is no way in hell you are going to stake a claim! I was, no _am_ first!

"Stay out my business. I don't meddle with yours. I don't know what you're getting at. I haven't mentioned anything about you little tryst with Kana at the club. What are _you_ doing? Didn't you end things with her years ago? Are you trying to break her heart _again_?"

"Kana isn't the subject of this conversation," Hatori bites back.

"If you stay out of my business, I'll stay out of yours." _Your business is my business_, Hatori wants to shout.

"Neither of us can ever be with the one we love," Hatori says. "We can't be with anyone outside the Sohma family. Anyone will only end up hurt."

"I wouldn't let that happen _like you_." Shigure retorts. It's a low blow that causes Hatori to flinch involuntarily.

Hatori swallows hard, restraining himself from pounding Shigure's face. "Don't play that game with Tohru. We can't afford to lose her."

"Like you care about her!" Shigure barks.

I do! He wants to shout.

Shigure continues, in a softer tone, one befitting of speaking to a small child. "I would never hurt her."

"Like you care! She's been doing all your chores for you for all these years. You only think of her as a maid, a cook, and your toy. That is, whenever it strikes you! You've taken _pity_ on her, that's why you fancy yourself in love with her or something trivial like that!" Hatori says angrily. His hands are waving animatedly. He's never done that before. This is all new.

"That's not true! I care about her! My feelings for her are genuine!"

Just then, both men notice a small gasp at the door. Tohru is standing there with her small hand covering her gaping mouth. Neither of the men had heard her knock. And from the surprised look on her face, and her eyes darting between the two men, she's heard them. Loud and clear.

/

Shigure has feelings for me? This is all too much to handle. I try to back away as if I never witnessed any of this. I which I could somehow go back, erase this from my mind. I'm not supposed to be anything to him. I'm just a tenant. Just a tenant.

My bare heel hits the wall in the hallway with a loud thunk. I don't want this. Make it go away. And the way Hatori has cast me off as some inferior human. It makes my heart hurt. Why would he say such things about me? Maid. Cook. Toy. Just a _pity_. In his bout of rage, he's said the truth. His real feelings.

Tears are blinding my vision. Not now. I can't show my weakness in the face of adversity… I wipe at them, not wanting the men in front of me to see, but the stupid tears keep coming. It's like rain on a windshield – hard and relentless. I want to move, get out of this stifling house, but I can't. My feet are rooted to the ground.

It'd be worse to see the rest of them. Have them questioning my tears. I can't be under that attention, scrutiny. Because I can't lie to them. I can't face them. I feel a rising pain inside me. I'm gasping for breath as my chest tightens. The discomfort causes me to blink stupidly, to erase the yellow dots that are dancing at the edge of my vision. _Don't let it end this way_. I'm swaying on my feet, about ready to pass out, when strong arms dart out to catch me. I feel the warmth of a taut chest touch mine for a brief moment as he hauls me into his arms before bending down and setting me on the ground. _Poof_.

I try to glance around at my savior who caught me before my untimely tumble, but I'm still glassy-eyed, dizzy. It's the warm, wet feeling of a tongue swiping my cheek that informs me who my rescuer is. _He settles his soft, furry body in my lap, nuzzling at my chest, trying to cheer me up, wake me up from my nightmare. _It's unexpectedly comforting. He knows just the way. He's licking all over my face which makes me giggle uncontrollably for forget my pain, albeit temporarily. Shigure's cute Juunishi has brought me out of my misery. _Thank you_.

His big brown eyes send Hatori a smug look. _I can protect her, make her laugh_. He seems to say. _What can you do_? It doesn't help that he's waggling his tail like he's found the biggest bone in the yard. I follow Shigure's gaze to the tall, rigid man looming in front of us. He's still inside Shigure's room, right at the doorway. He's watching us with his impenetrable, piercing gaze. His lips are curled into a grimace.

_I'm really just a pity case to him_.

/

A/N: 4.27.2013 - I encourage you guys to see the movie Kimi wa Petto. It's good. Jealousy reared its big, fat head in this chapter!

Mcangel1976: Thanks!

Kouga's older woman: Thanks!

Guest: cute-cute drum-roll! We can finally see their relationship evolving somewhat. Out of the shadows (at least kinda). It's not just them living inside some perfect bubble. OMG you guessed correctly the content of this chapter… that Shigure would transform into adorable puppy mode and snuggle. He knows the quick cure for T's sadness and ain't afraid to milk it for all it's worth!

Tsukiakage: Ooo, shall the story transform into a threesome? Hehe, I wonder if there are any THxHSxSS stories out there…

Kris11993: if H saw T and S cooking he will explode, he was already jealous that she taught Otsuka how to make chocolates. He wants to spend quality time with her! I made you hungry too? YAY! Yes, I try to sprinkle my likes/dislikes/experiences in the story! i.e. takoyaki balls… I ate them once so I had to incorporate it! Hari is realizing not to take things for granted…

Miaboo011: Thanks!

Silverpuppies: +1 for making ur lunch time more enjoyable! S doesn't know yet, because he's too caught up in himself to see H and T. Hehe, but maybe soon…

Traceless-Poison: Thank you! I hope I don't disappoint when the rollercoaster takes that big dip… :)

Alwayskougacola: hahaha, you're funny!

Phenylephrine: Love ur support! H is showing his dominant side. It's like some spark inside his brain has been lit! Kana is comin' up in 2 chapters. *OMGSHIGUREMAKINGMOVESTOTOHRUANDHATORIBEINGJEALOUS UBER!* - that needs to be a hash tag. I love it! Shigure, I command u to turn up your charm! A little friendly competition never hurt anyone…

325 reviews, 39 followers, 27 favs, 14307 views. THANKS!

Please review!


	48. Chapter 48: Playing with Fire

**/ **Thank you my lovely reviewers, you make me a giddy inside! **Warning: Smut!**

**Don't own Fruits Basket.**

**Chapter 48: Playing with Fire**

**/**

I'm completely sober now. His angry face has brought me out of my hapless bout of uncontrollable laughter. Hatori hauls me off the ground, dumping the poor dog out of my lap onto the ground. Luckily, Shigure has good reflexes and lands gracefully with a soft click of his paws on the floor. Hatori sends Shigure a glower, before pulling me alongside his long strides down the hallway. I can barely keep up, my feet shuffling like a newborn foal. He thrusts me into the neighboring bathroom and locks the door behind us. _What is he doing_? This extra attention that he's paying me isn't going to go unnoticed. Does Shigure already know? No, he can't. He probably thinks Hatori is just trying to protect good ol' straight-laced me. _Little does he know.._. How the innocent have fallen. I'm almost as depraved as him, the masterful, legendary author of smut.

I do my best to remain perfectly still, matching his stance. But I'm fighting a losing battle. Now that I'm alone against Hatori's wrath, I can feel my running-amok emotions returning with full force. I'm quivering, my lungs fighting for air.

"What is _wrong_?" He asks, concern showing in his eyes. Now that we are alone, he has let down his barriers. _Only when we're alone_.

"No-nothing." I reply hastily. He can't know how terrible I feel. Only I know the truth about what I mean to him. I'm nothing but a misfortune. Cast upon him like an unexpected lightning bolt. I lose my balance, and tumble out onto the floor. I'm sitting on the cold tiled floor with my legs spread out next to me. My hands are flat against the floor, trying to hold onto some ounce of clarity. Hatori curses under his breath before he takes a plastic cup beside the sink and fills it up with tap water. My body jerks when he thrusts the cup at me. For a moment I thought he was going to hurt me. What is going on with me? Why am I like this? I'm so weak and foolish. What led me to believe that I meant something to him? Sensing that I don't have my faculties together, he brings the cup to my lips, guiding me to tilt back my head so that he can pour the cool liquid into my eager mouth. Yes I need this. Just like I need him.

In that moment, I've figured something out. I've collected another elusive piece of the puzzle. Being too overwhelmed with emotion can drive me into a frantic state. It wasn't exactly arousal _yet_, but it was anger and frustration all bundled into a tight, stifling package. Just a little more and it would have turned into full-blown lust, _need_. Somehow, Shigure managed to suppress it temporarily with his little act of comfort. I'm shaking my head like a madwoman. I can't even be emotional anymore? For fear that it will trigger my _madness_?

What's the purpose of living if I have to go on living like a robot? What an ironic circle of life. To go on living _by not living_.

"I'm sorry," he says in my ear, kneeling beside me. His voice barely above a whisper.

"I'm a wreck." I say, downtrodden. My lust rules me, hails over my pathetic body.

"I know," he mutters under his breath_. I almost don't hear him_. My ears are ringing. I don't get angry. I'm in stasis.

/

_You're __**my**__ wreck. Mine to mend_.

/

With all my will, I try to lift myself off the ground. Somehow, I lift my body. I need to do this. Get away. Be independent. My hand grips the counter in a death grip. I'm blinking back the impending tears. I'm such a cliché. I don't want to be pitiful. I don't want to be a burden. Yet time and time again, I need the help of another. Literally unable to stand on my own two fucking feet. Wiping away my tears on the sleeve of my shirt, I close my eyes and take in several deep, calming breaths.

I'm condemned for life. A slave to my body's needs. A slave to my wide range of emotions. I really need to just be locked up in a box. No emotion. Maybe it'll all go away. _Like magic_.

I take a few shuffling steps toward the door. He's not stopping me. Good.

_Just let me go_.

I raise my hand for the door handle, but my vision blurs and I see double. My hand flails back and forth before hitting the target. _Bingo, the doorknob. Someone, give me a prize_. I want nothing more than to leave this room, stagger out into the blinding hallway. Where there may or may not be other Sohmas… I need to be alone.

I need to get him out of my system.

Then I feel a hand around my waist, pulling me back against a firm chest. My body melts into his. I'm so weak to his touch. I can try, but I'll never be able to leave him. _Because_…

"Let me go," I whisper, breaking the unearthly silence. He's like a goddamn ghost, I can't even hear him breathing. Maybe because my own breath is so loud and superseding.

"No," he says stubbornly. I can feel his stubborn will reverberate through his chest. Oh Kami.

Even in my depressed state, I can feel the urge building up, _yet again_. A strong spasm tears through my body like a torpedo. I tense up. Make it go away. Make it go away.

_Please_.

Just when I was set on getting over this. Finding some way _out_. But not tonight.

If he doesn't touch me right now, I'm not getting out of here with my sanity intact.

No words are needed. He can sense what I desperately need.

This is a really bad place. Shigure could be right outside for all I know. Dogs have really good hearing. But my body knows no bounds. Hopefully Shigure is hiding in his room because he's going to be naked when he transforms back… and he really shouldn't be exposing himself to everyone. I'm thinking an awful lot, my wishful thinking… _Cool down, rampant brain_! _Might as well toss in 'Cool down, evil libido!' into the mix_. Two things that are the bane of my existence. I rub my hands up and down my arms, trying to bring some blood to the surface because I'm suddenly freezing.

He spins me around and lifts me up on the vanity, right between the double sinks. His eyes are filled with a single-track thought. _Me_. I swallow back nervously. I want him too. Kami, I could never _stop_ wanting him.

"How much pain are you in?"

Why is he asking me? Doesn't he already know? Can't he feel it on my skin, all cold and goose-bumpy. Saying it makes it all too real. My gaze shifts up to his as I shake my head stubbornly.

"Tell me." He insists. His tone is harsh and pleading.

"A lot," I blurt out. No games tonight. No more prolonging this torment.

I ease my hips off the counter a little to press against his groin, for a brief moment. He registers my immediate need and begins to unfasten his pants. The clink of his belt on the floor is a startling reminder of what we're about to do. It's still dark inside the bathroom. Not sure why neither of us decided we needed light. But it's fine. There is enough moonlight peeking in the small window that I can see him. The flicker in his eyes. It melts any remaining reservations I have. At least for now.

My senses are in overdrive.

"Lie back a little," he instructs, grasping my hips. He pulls my bottom to the edge so that I'm barely perched on the counter. He quickly strips me of my under things. I'm bare and slick and waiting as I part my legs keenly.

His heavy cock pushes inside me without reserve. He knows me, inside and out. A strangled cry escapes my mouth, but with his quick reflexes, he catches it in the cup of his hand, muting it a soft rasp. We're playing with fire. I nod to tell him that I know to keep quiet. He hesitantly removes his hand. I bite down on my lips to keep from crying out as he begins to move inside me. His thrusts are deep and potent. I close my eyes so that I can focus on clearing the pain. After a few moments, I hear a pleasurable groan next to my ear as I feel the hot flood of his semen fill me. He quickly withdraws his cock from inside me. The expression on his face is almost apologetic. "I'm sorry." I can see the now flaccid length of his cock. Totally spent.

"It's okay," I reply. I don't need to come to feel relief. Just the act of coupling seems to satisfy my curse. Clear mind. Check. Stable body. Check.

_I really don't understand the intent of the curse. _

_But as long as it's gone for now_.

/

He picks up my pink candy-print underwear and helps me slip them back on before he does the same with his striped boxers. After we are both back to our dressed states, he opens the door and steps out. I walk out behind him. My to my relief, there is no one in the hallway. I can here the distant chatter of the guests in the living room area.

Just then, Shigure comes out of his bedroom. He is swathed in his white bathrobe, looking like a sultan getting reading to go to the hot springs. He pouts and directs a single word at Hatori. "Meanie!"

It seems like he didn't hear us. Good. Another bullet dodged.

When the three of us walk back into the living room, no one notices anything out of place. I try to flatten out my shirt, as if I've found something on my shirt that would make anyone suspect us. _You can never be too cautious_.

"I'll be on the porch," I say to Hatori. He returns a nod of understanding.

When I'm outside, taking large breaths of air, Kyo settles in the chair beside me. "Are you okay? You've been looking peaky all night."

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, really."

"Even though I don't look like the best listener, you don't really have much of a choice. You're kinda stuck with me."

"Yeah." I mumble. Fate's cruel hand.

When I don't offer any words, he continues, patting my back, "Everything's going to be alright."

I hope he's right. Because I feel as if the world is against me. Can't anything go right?

Hatori and I are drawn like moths to a flame. We're going to get burned one of these days.

/

A/N: 4.30.2013 - Hatori's strategy: Let her struggle a bit before rescuing her! And really, he doesn't pity her. He just said that stuff at the end of the previous chapter to Shigure to get him off her back!

Kami, I could never _stop_ wanting him. – Ah, don't u love double negatives? New development on the curse front – emotion breeds lust… hmm-mmm…

What is that witch up too? There is actually a hint early on, dunno if anyone caught it… -evil laughter-

Also, good suggestion by chelley: Guests, if possible, please leave behind a name so that when I respond to u, it doesn't get confuzzling!

Love you all to bits!

U all ready for some Kana showdown next chapter?

...

Phenylephrine: Hehe, Tohru is definitely over-analyzing things! I kinda love Shigure too – he's so funny and perverted and not to mention handsome! Bahahahah! -_swoon_- Glad H is opening up and not acting like some rock! But is it too little, too late?

Miaboo011: Haha, love ur reaction!

Kouga's older woman: Yeah, loving her in secret!

Guest: That dog definitely needs to be leashed! H is gonna go out to buy a very short leash right now…

Mcangel1976: These 2 lovebirds went straight for smex. H, man up, tell the world u love her! Hurry!

Tsukiakage: 3some = HOT! Maybe my next project? Hmm… Hot, smutty, angsty chaos? -I need to fan myself right now- Tohru tugged between light and dark?

Kris11993: Haha, exactly H, you are no better – tormenting our poor Tohru with your secret –emotional- affair with Kana! Aw thanks! Your words always bring me to a better mood! Instead of 'if u give a mouse a cookie… if u give a dog a bone… he's gonna want more… of Tohru…

If my readers are up for it, this is gonna be a long haul! (Or I could just end it awkwardly and let everyone's minds just wander…)

Gure is gonna be back soon!

May96: But do u love Shuji? :)

Chelley: Thank you!

Guest: Haa, yes, I'm alright! Thank you for asking!

Guest: Thank you! You've seen the movie? Yay! If anyone ever romantic/angsty movie recs… CONTACT ME! I've seen them all. Seriously. I want that 'jealous shiznit alpha man showdown' too! OMG, love that phrase. Give me some with a cherry on top!

-brainstorms how to get those three men into the same room as Tohru- Yes, my sick perversion, ahem, love affair with romance and angst comes out to play in fanfiction!

337 reviews, 42 followers, 29 favs, 15098 views!

233 views for last chapter. –sniffles- I'm a serious review _rhymes-with-bore_. I need 'em.


	49. Chapter 49: Resolution

**/ End of an emotional affair…**

**Chapter 49: Resolution**

/

"Hatori, can we meet?"

It's the first time he's responded to her call. The voice is slightly apprehensive, worried. It's been almost three weeks. But it's time to hash things out. _End things_. No more living in dream land, hoping that somehow everything will _just be, right itself_. He has to fix the mess he's created. As hard as it is to admit to himself, things can't continue between him and Kana. _It's over_. The incident at the club proved it. The whole time, despite how beautiful, eloquent, and thoughtful she was, despite the fact that she exceeded the version of herself in his memory (the indistinct memory that allowed him to sustain all these years), he couldn't stop thinking about the woman in another man's arms. His fists clenched into white-knuckled terror. He had never been the dominant, possessive type of man, or so he thought. Tohru seemed to set off all kinds of things inside him, like a series of firecrackers, one emotion after another.

And he hurt her.

_Never again_.

With the steely clench of his jaw, he answers her call.

They settle on meeting Thursday night at the coffee shop.

/

_**Thursday evening**_

She is sitting outside, waiting patiently. Her elegant pianist fingers are folded neatly in her lap, fiddling with the strap of her cross-body bag. Her attention is focused elsewhere, looking all dreamy-eyed, lost in thought. When she sees him, she immediately rises from the seat, a pretty smile disguising the trepidation in her heart.

They find a quiet table at the back of the shop. Hatori places their order – two small iced green teas and two strawberry cream cheese puff pastries. The barista gives him a wink, as if to wish him luck on his… er, date. Yeah, far from it. He's going to break her heart. Is he a terrible person for leading her on like this?

Yes.

After they settle down with their food, Kana is the first to speak up. "I've been worried sick about you. Are you alright?"

She's peering around him, as if to assess his body for any physical signs of damage.

"Yes. I'm fine." He says, in a clipped manner, his dark eyes shoot up to look at her seriously. He doesn't like her mother hen behavior toward him, especially because he's going to break her heart.

"What happened?"

_I realized the truth_. "I'm with someone." He utters tersely. He was never one for small talk.

"Oh," she says with a clear of her throat. All of a sudden, her clamoring heart feels like it has died. She's utterly taken back. She hadn't expected this. All the worry builds up to this… She shifts uncomfortably in her seat.

"I'm sorry."

"There's no need to apologize." She replies shakily. _I have to accept the fact that I came in second_.

After a few moments to collect her thoughts, she asks quietly, "Is it… her?"

"Yes."

"When did you realize?" _Did you realize when you were with me? Did you use me as a measurement_?

_A long time ago. I just choose not to accept it. Because I couldn't admit to myself again that I had found someone I really… cared for. I was in denial. It'd been to long. I was afraid that I couldn't do it again. That I was too broken. That somehow I'd misstep and lose her. That she see the 'real' me and leave me_. "Some time ago. But I didn't fully accept it until the night at the club, when the fight broke out." It's like my life flashed before me. If I didn't have a chance to tell her…

"I hope things work out between you and her." Kana says quietly, her gaze failing to meet his eyes. She doesn't want to accept this. That this enigmatic, perfect man is out of her reach. In love with someone else.

She'll never be able to figure out the mystery. What was his sketch doing in her house? What is he not telling her? Why is he keeping the secret of her past from her? Is it something bad?

"Ca-can we still stay in touch?" She says with steely resolve. She's strong-willed and not going to lose him. Even if he doesn't love her, she has to know. He's a link to that grey area of her past. And she… loves him. He's everything her husband isn't. He's quiet, patient, and wholesome. He's mysterious and handsome. He was there for her when she needed it the most. When she was broken, he was there. He didn't judge her. Push her. She hides her quaking hands under the table, in her lap. These are tingles of… love. She knows. Her heart is lodged in her throat, choking her. _Please don't say no. Please give me hope for my happy ending_.

"…Yes."

"Well Hatori Sohma, I'll see you later then. I'm taking over my colleague's shift tonight. All-nighter."

"I wish you the best." He says with an air of finality.

When he leaves the coffee shop fifteen minutes later, he feels the weight lift from his chest.

/

"What are you doing there Tohru?"

Shigure peers up at her standing on a bar stool with a long sheet of aluminum foil. The sun outside is shining of the reflective surface and almost blinding him so he reaches his hand up to shield his eyes.

"Monthly foil replacement."

"Huh?"

"I cover the range hood and the surrounding cabinets with foil so that the oil from the cooking doesn't splatter onto them."

"Oh." He says. He's never really paid any attention to what she does in the kitchen. The kitchen is kind of _hers_. She doesn't all the cooking, cleaning, storing, baking, bento-box making, or whatever else she does here. He just comes in to get access to the fridge. "Do you need help?"

Shigure Sohma offering help? Heavens, the sky must be falling!

"…Sure. Since you are taller, it'd be easier for you to wrap the top of the cabinet with the foil."

"Okay."

Tohru carefully gets off the stool with Shigure's eager help. He places his strong hands on her small waist to haul her down with ease. She's very light. He carefully climbs onto the stool and steadies himself with the help of Tohru's shoulder. The swirl of the bottom of his yukata catches her eye, but she wills herself not to look up it. She is not some old pervert! Plus, would she be the first girl to look up a guy's 'skirt'?

_That's a record I do not want to set_.

Her face twists in a look of pure revulsion. The lust does not extend beyond the 'intended', right? Why is she having all these depraved thoughts? Cursed!

Was she supposed to go on living with the emotional range of a thimble? The 'encounter' in the downstairs bathroom really frightened her. That was way beyond her control. It came out of nowhere. So abruptly. And what if he wasn't beside her to take away the agonizing pain? Or what if he didn't get to her in time? Would she go into a coma? Start twitching on the ground like some rabid animal? What if she turned to someone else? She had tried that in the beginning of her curse and it had hurt very badly, but what if she still let it happen? Forced it? Would it just be very painful or could she die from it? Could enough pain somehow bypass the need for Hatori?

/

"Uh Tohru?"

"Sorry, yeah?"

"Does this side look good?"

"Yeah, that looks perfect. Thanks."

"Do you need any more help?"

"No, it's alright."

"Why are you so flushed?" Nargh, why was he so intent on getting an answer from her?

Unable to hide her surprise at his very deliberate question, she replies, "It's just that you've never offered to help before."

"So I've been told," he mutters under his breath with a look of dismay.

She blushes more and tries to hide her face by turning away from him. Too focused in his own thoughts to notice, she begins to take out ingredients from the vegetable drawer in the fridge.

"Is there anything special you want to eat today?"

"Uh no, anything you make is perfect," he says absentmindedly.

"Then I'll make your favorite gourmet ramen for dinner tonight."

"With the fish cakes and little egg strips?" He says, feeling a little better.

"Yes, _always_."

/

Dinner is a peaceful, lighthearted event. The mood is lighthearted, with Shigure teasing her mercilessly. She doesn't want to admit it but he's paying her much more attention that before. He always sat at the dinner table, but his mind was focused elsewhere. Texting on his cell phone, reading the newspaper or his tablet, one eye wandering off to the TV. Tonight, he's different. He's attentive, like he was at the club. All eyes on her.

It is misplaced pity, as Hatori called it.

Every time he compliments her, whether it's the 'exquisite medley of flavors' or the 'tasteful sprinkle of black sesame seeds on the seaweed salad', she brushes it off quickly.

Exasperatedly at his ill attempts to get her to accept one of his genuine compliments, he demands, "Why can't you just take a compliment? All you need to say is a simple 'thank you.'"

"But it's really nothing special. It's a recipe I saw on a food blog. I just followed it to a T."

"You are so… infuriating!" He cries out after he's cleaned up his bowl without a single lick of food left. Afterwards, he storms off to his bedroom, his sanctuary. He switches on his laptop and settles in the swivel chair with a sparkle of conception in his eyes. He's got some writing to do, courtesy of his stubborn muse.

/

A/N: What do you think of the outcome of the Kana meeting? Some threesome (or third wheel) fun in the upcoming chapters!

Mcangel1976: Thanks girl! Yeah, H tell T u love her!

Phenylephrine: -snatches your offer of red velvet cupcake-Yesh, they are getting wreckless! One serving of sex on counter? Coming right up! Did it end it well with K?

Warrichan: -blushes- thank you! I'm glad you are enjoying the story and the smut!

Kouga's older woman: Thanks!

Guest (codename: Le Duckie): Love ya sweetheart! Glad you like the pace! I do have plenty of ideas and I hope I don't lose the momentum (or any readers!). T and H both have a lot of self-worth issues – hopefully together they can overcome it. H needs to come out and say it! Will K be gone for good? Mm…

Chelley: Yep, they are getting bolder and bolder, falling deeper into the pit… hopefully they don't get caught! And the ever-mysterious S, does he know?

Infinity1: Hey girl (jealous shiznit coin-er)! Glad the plot is to your liking! I am a total rom/angst lover! H still has not said _those three words_… a girl can only wish… I love throwing S into the mix! He adds so much tension and fun!

Alwaykougascola: In the timeline, White Day has not come yet and that was a practice round with Tohru for the real thing. Hopefully he can pull it off. And yes, we shall get an update on that later. :) Yay for making you think of him!

Kris11993: Woot! We never know Gure's intentions… does he want to woo Tohru, keep her as a comforting presence, or is she just some 'new shiny thing' that's caught his attention and he wants to 'explore'? u read the chappy 4 times?! YAY! Yes, love you! Hints… don't think I left any in recent chapters, but there are a few hints in the first few chappies… all will be revealed in due time… :) Kyo needs to be a better support system, since he's the only one close to her that knows…

Carnival scene, eh? Or I just book a room at the Seven Sin Club for some 'private entertainment' for T, H, S, S… and why not throw in K too! (Happy Hour, 5 for the price of 4…)… hehehe!

May96: Hehe, I meant that u said u hated H and S after chapter 47, so I asked if you still like Shuji… :)

Traceless-Poison: Glad I made u feel conflicted… :)

Onebluefairy: Hello again after a few chapters! Yeah, T has to remain calm if she doesn't want to trigger the curse… sniffles that could be tough considering all the ' volatile variables' that surround her… S knows where to hit 'em! Hope T doesn't get in the way of the brotherly friendship…

K the homewrecker gets no love…

351 reviews, 45 followers, 33 favs, 15954 views ~~ thanks!


	50. Chapter 50: Three's a Crowd

**/ OMG, 50****th**** chapter! Enjoy gals! Warning: **_**lemon treat**_**!**

**Chapter 50: Three's a Crowd**

**/**

"I'm sorry Mamoru, this is Hatori Sohma. I missed your call earlier. Is now a good time to speak?"

"_Yes, please go on_."

Yes, I'd like to get an update on the property in Nanao and change my beneficiaries. Do you have time this week?"

After they settled on a time for Hatori to go to the office, Hatori leaned back in his chair and sighed. _My life is complete_. _I have the only woman I need, want. Now is a good time as any to redraw my wishes in the case that some unfortunate event happens to me. I can't take anything for granted. _

_/_

"I want to come." Shigure said petulantly with his arms crossed over his chest. This was his typical strategy to get others to give into his demands – act like a spoiled child.

"But we don't need your help. We've been handling this for months. Plus, you'd just interfere. You've never done any outside labor. We'd probably spend more time teaching you as it would take to do just do the job."

"Hey, if you teach a man how to fish, instead of just catching him a fish…"

"That doesn't apply to you, Shigure." Hatori says brusquely. _You just want to come to torture me_!

While waiting for Tohru in the foyer, Hatori was assaulted by the dog. Shigure was wearing a casual baseball cap and a very full looking backpack. Hatori could the waistband of one of Shigure's silk boxers peeking out in his haste to pack. Ugh. Self invitation…

_Argh, he's not giving up. Unless I play some devious trick like tell him that my car is parked in the back and then make a run for it with Tohru, we are stuck with a third wheel. This is so not how I wanted the weekend to go. This is supposed to be our free time to make up for all the lost time. Tohru's school. My work at the estates, and starting next week, once-a-week lectures at the college_.

But how can I say no? I could show that anything is… unusual between Tohru and I.

Shigure is so _f-u-c-k-i-n-g_ insistent. _And if I don't bring him, it may lead back to Akito who will be suspicious_. Argh!

_Why does life never go according to plan_?

"Are you going to work or play?" Hatori says to Shigure in a tone meant for a misbehaved child, which Shigure could be equated to _at times_. _Hell_, most of the time. Like now.

Shigure nodded with the eagerness of a schoolboy recruited onto the school soccer team. "Work. I will carry my own weight. You won't have to keep an eye on me."

_Fat chance. In addition to not being able to be close to Tohru, I have to watch out for him! Might as well bring all the Sohmas, as we'll have absolutely no privacy. I'll have to be his caretaker too! And gods forbid he gets his hands on any alcohol. That loose tongue-d bastard! The villa – quiet sanctuary is turning into quite the opposite, first that other neighbor guy and now Shigure! It was turning into a parlor! Could this turn into anything worse? I have to come up with some plan so that he won't want to join us again. Ugh, I have to give him a taste of the doctor's bitter medicine. I'm half tempted to drug him, that's how far he's pushing the envelope._

"Fine. Just be sure you're up for the labor. We haven't been there for a while, so the landscape is probably all overgrown and gnarled and thorny. Be prepared to face the nature's wrath. Don't come crying if you get a thorn in your side." Hatori hoped to scare of the little pansy that was Shigure Sohma.

But no success.

"That's why you need me! An extra pair of hands!"

_Useless, soft hands that have never seen the light of a hard day's of labor. Knows nothing but how to tease, lure, and pleasure women_.

/

"Sorry for making you wait, Hatori. I noticed a yellow stain in the downstairs toilet. I didn't want it to set in over the weekend. Sorry about that."

"No problem." Hatori replies dispassionately, keeping up his front. "Shigure has invited himself along for the heavy work filled weekend."

Tohru's eyes flitted to the smug dog who returned a little finger wave. "Hope you are okay with it."

"H-hai," Tohru said, bobbing her head a little too exaggeratedly, letting the dizziness set in, overwhelm her. She was letting the newfound knowledge sink in a little. This was supposed to be a romantic retreat… was she the only one who thought that way?

"It's settled then. I'll ride shotgun." He picked up Tohru's small duffel bag with ease and carried it out to the car over his shoulder. Turning his head back, he said to the dumbfounded pair, "Don't forget to lock up, Tohru."

After doing a quick scan of the house to make sure everything electrical, gas, and/or water related was turned off so there were no more unexpected surprises, she locked the front door.

While Shigure scrambled into the car, Hatori turned to Tohru, "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. It's not your fault."

"I don't want this. I just want you to know." _This time should be spent proving to you just how much I miss you everyday_.

"There's nothing we can do about it." Tohru says sadly.

"We can be preventive though. We're going to go all out this weekend. Work out asses off so that Shigure has second thoughts and won't be asking if he can come again. He'll think it is some hell camp and stay away."

"Sounds like a plan." Tohru says, perking up a little. _I'm being so horrid, wanting to get rid of a good-intentioned Shigure. What has this lust curse turned me into_?

_Can't help it… hopefully it works_.

/

Shigure is a chatter-bug the whole ride there. I don't mind it. It keeps my mind off the negative thoughts I have. My weekend is ruined. How are we going to sneak in… sex? I need it this weekend. It's been too long. I mean, we've done it not to long ago; it's not that. It's the ability to feel completely at ease, free, without any worry about someone else hearing us, seeing us. I don't have to pretend. I can touch Hatori whenever, _however_ I want. And now, it feels like someone is intruding on our haven. I know it's not fair of me to say that, because Shigure is a part owner of the villa, he is allowed to do whatever he wants, but still. I don't want him here.

"Why are you guys being so quiet? C'mon, it's gonna be fun. Threesome, eh?"

He turns his head from the passenger seat to look at me. "Right Tohru?"

"Face forward," Hatori says gruffly. The dog *did not* just use the word threesome.

"Humpff." Shigure says, but does as told with a glower at his best friend.

"What kind of landscaping are we doing exactly?"

"Oh everything." Hatori replies austerely. "We have to trim the barbed rose bushes, plant new seeds, get rid of any dead vegetation, fertilize everything, climb up some trees and trim off the branches, rack up all the dead or composting leaves after the winter spell… there are barbed wires and animal traps all over the property, left behind by old coot, Mr. Kouta, there's also a chance that the sprinkler system was frozen during the winter, so we'll have to fix –"

"Enough! I think I have a good understanding of what's in store." Shigure says, cutting off Hatori.

I hide a little smile in my hands. This is like watching a train wreck. Maybe this kind of entertainment will keep my mind of _other things_.

/

We get to the house at a little past ten.

"Wow, it's so clean!"

Yeah, last time, I had been a little angry with Shuji's keen observation of our _non_-couple behavior. Cleaning is my form of catharsis. Glad it's to Shigure's approval.

Shigure bounds into the bedrooms to find the one he wants, leaving Hatori and I to retrieve the luggage and groceries.

Hatori mutters under his breath so only I can hear, "It's going to be a long weekend."

/

Luckily, Shigure has not taken the room where Hatori and I have had sex. It's still _our_ sanctuary.

He's picked the last bedroom at the end of the hall, far away from us. _Maybe tonight_. I'm crossing my fingers that he falls asleep quickly and soundly.

"I'm gonna take a quick shower!" Shigure calls out into the kitchen where Hatori and I are putting the food into the fridge.

/

Once Hatori hears the sound of running water, he pulls me into sitting position on the counter. Glancing through half-lidded eyes, Hatori says in a low, commanding voice, "Now?"

"We don't have enough time." I say.

"I assure you _I'll _be done in no time."

His words awaken my napping sexuality. His hand travels down the side of my body to the waistband of my skirt. He touches my hip gently, like I'm made of glass, _breakable_, and murmurs in my hair, "You're still too thin." He curls his hand around my thigh and spreads my legs apart. As always, I'm eager and wet for him.

His hand slips under my skirt and teases my clit with a light brush. I arch up with desperate need as a moan lets loose from my parted lips. He doesn't even need to do anything and I'm a quivering, hot mess! Gods! He begins to rub fast little circles over my hard, wet nub. This constant stimulation makes me shaky in no time. My hips are jerking off the counter to encourage him to move faster, because I'm about to become unhinged.

"That's it, give it to me," Hatori says hoarsely. And as if on cue, my body starts to shudder with the onset of a mind-blowing orgasm. His other hand moves up to my breast, palming it firmly, in sync with the hand below, bringing me to ecstasy.

In the aftermath, I am totally lightheaded. If I could, I would slump my body against his chest, wrap my arms around him and listen to his heart and never let him go. Instead I settle for the next best thing - my head rests on his shoulder for support. His hand smoothes down my back in a comforting manner. He kisses the sensitive skin behind my ear and whispers, "I wish I could have you right now." My eyes wander down to his trousers. I can see the front is very snug. It makes me happy that I can cause him to react this way, _so fast_, but also pained, because there is no way it can be _sated_ right now. The sound of the water has stopped. _Fuuuck_.

"Get into bed. Don't talk to Shigure. If he sees you like this, heavy-lidded eyes, bitten lips, like you've just been _taken_, he'll know. He's a dog in the way he can sniff out the truth. We can't let that happen."

I nod emphatically. Hatori offers his hand to help me off the counter. My legs are like jelly. He can sense it and he holds on to me until I steady myself.

I rush into the bedroom, close my door, and begin to set up my bed. I can hear soft murmurs from outside. I am too tired and completely sated for now that I fall asleep once my head touches the pillow. _Good night, Ha'ri_.

/

A/N: What's gonna happen at the villa? … yeah, you guessed it! Random question:

Mcangel1976: Hey! Shigure has not learned his lesson yet… teehee!

Phenylephrine: Shigure the snapping turtle. :) He doesn't go down without a fight! As we shall see on this little 'trip'. We shall see Shuji in a few chapters! Love ya too!

Guest: DUCKIE! Yep, T depends on H… not necessarily a good thing if for two shy people who misinterpret things because of their worries and insecurities…

Tsukiakage: Hello! I need to have a 3some dream sequence to let out my fantasies! Muaw!

Traceless-Poison: Ooo, angsty thoughts… kudos for re-reading the story… that makes me so happy that it's worthy of a 2nd look! –jumps up and down, and all around- more surprises coming ur way!

Kouga's older woman: THANKS!

SolemnPassive: Newbie! YAY, please more come out of the shadows…! Next update tomorrow! Hope I'm not too cruel! :)

Alwayskougascola: Yesh poor puppy, came a little too late… glad u enjoyed the chapter girl!

Onebluefairy: Haha, I like you suspicions –wink- And yes, T is S's muse for… ahem, not-so-innocent storyline… thanks for ur support! :)

361 reviews, 46 followers, 34 favs, 16322 views!


	51. Chapter 51: Seed

**/ Long chapter, my readers. This story has reached 100K. Wow-wow! Thank you to all those who have endured my sporadic updates! Warning: SMUT! **

**Chapter 51: Seed**

/

"Breakfast!" I call out. A big day calls for a big breakfast. I've prepared a traditional breakfast of rice, miso soup, marinated turnips, tamagoyaki (rolled egg omelet), and some grilled Sawara fish.

I notice that Hatori is dressed neatly as he settles into the seat across from me. This is the rare occasion that I get to seem him in casual clothing. He is wearing grey sweatpants and a plain white v-neck shirt which showcases his long lean body. His hair is still sleep ruffled, making him look very, _very_ enticing to me right now. But it's only morning! Argh, it's my hormones, or the curse, or a combination of both… I don't know! Do other girls feel like this? It frustrates me to no end that I can be so easily aroused by the sight of him! My brain has turned masculine… I thought only men were turned on simply by visuals!

I need answers to my… _condition_. I need to know what is _me_, and what is the curse. Or are they so meshed that there is no clear split?

After a few more calls for Shigure, I go to knock on his door impatiently. I hear him grumbling before the door is thrust open. "What?" He says, rubbing his weary eyes. I observe that his eyes are bloodshot. Don't know why…

"Breakfast."

"What time is it? I feel like I only got two hours of sleep."

"It's eight."

"That early?! You've got to be kidding me!"

"No I'm not." I reply curtly. I'm beginning to sound a lot like Hatori. _Few words to get a point across_. "We have a lot of work to do today. The more we get done today, the more free time we'll have tomorrow to do other things." I suggest. I hope that motivates him, or at least peaks his interest.

Sure enough, his eyes open a little wider. "Okay. Now _other things_ I am definitely up to." His lips quirk into a devilish grin.

He follows me to the dining area and takes a seat. Hatori is waiting patiently, his fingers threaded through each other. A monocle, leather bound notebook, and a cigar would suit his aura right now. There is a frown of disapproval for the third party at the table. Oh great, let the glaring begin.

Breakfast is a quiet affair. Hatori doesn't feel like sharing anything with the wretched dog who manages to aggravate him before he is even out of bed! _I really should have made up some excuse to get rid of him yesterday! Now we have to spend the next 48 hours with him_! Says a rare, whiny voice in his head.

He has to bite his tongue so as to not cause a scene.

/

"I'll be a moment!"

Hatori is tapping his toes on the pavement impatiently. He can't believe Shigure has the nerve to make them wait after he was late for breakfast. _Strike two_. "Don't be mad," Tohru says pleadingly, tugging on his sleeve.

"I'm not mad at _you_. I just want him to surpass my expectations for him today. I already have really, really low expectations for him, and so far, he's still way below. He's seriously testing my patience and he's gonna be six feet under if he doesn't come out soon." Hatori speaks like a very disappointed counselor-slash-mortician.

At last, Shigure comes out of the house. Tohru and Hatori look at him with their jaws dropped.

"Uh Shigure, where did you get that ensemble?" Hatori asks, his curiosity piqued, and his anger abated for the time being.

"What? I borrowed it from our dear cousin, Ayame's fanciful 2013 spring collection. Why, you _jealous_?" Shigure does a little twirl for effect, which garners a loud stern grunt from Hatori.

"Clearly, you have no idea what we are doing out here then." Hatori says succinctly.

"What do you mean?"

"We are here to do dirty manual labor, not parade around in a floral Obaason outfit!"

"You no like?" Shigure says with a pouty frown that showcases his perfect ruby lips. Argh, Shigure is too pretty. He takes really good care of himself. I guess that comes with a certain degree of arrogance, the need to look – fashion catalog ready. And he really doesn't look half bad in that outfit. Very… appropriate for his personality. Very flashy.

"Let's just go to the shed, get the necessary tools, and start working."

"I'm on it, boss."

Knowing that Shigure has idle hands (and no work ethic), Hatori assigns him a task immediately. "Along that side of the house is very shaded. I checked this morning and there are already mushroom and moss growing. I'd like you to carefully dig it out. And put it in that wheelbarrow. We'll find some place to dump it later."

"Okay. I guess I won't need this then." Shigure says, tossing aside his floppy sunhat before retreating into the shade. Tohru picks up the hat and places it atop her head.

"Finally we're rid of him."

Tohru and Hatori move to the furthest parameter of the property. Along the stone wall, there are a series of small shrubs that need some serious pruning. There is only one pair of shears, so Hatori takes the task. He gives Tohru the easier job of raking up the rotting leaves. There are other endless other more necessary jobs for her to do, but he doesn't want her out of his sight. That dog will take any opportunity to flirt. He's seen this firsthand for the past several weeks.

Hatori is taking a silent, firm stance. Watching over what is _his_.

/

After a simple lunch of shrimp fried rice, they are back outside. While Shigure is still begrudgingly removing the mushrooms and moss (he's managed to fill half a wheelbarrow, much to Hatori's surprise), Tohru and Hatori have moved to the front yard. With the knowledge that Akito is coming for a visit during spring break, they have to impress. So with the plants they bought, they plan to spruce up the landscape with pretty flowers and herbs.

Right now, along the front of the house are only several sparse rose bushes that have kind of grown into spindly trees instead.

"What is this plant with the strong smell again?" Hatori says with his nose scrunched up as he carries the potted plant over to Tohru.

"It's rosemary. It required no upkeep and is pest resistant." Tohru reads from the little card stuck in the dirt.

"Where should I start digging holes for the rosemary then?"

"Ummm, I think there," she responds, pointing at a clear spot on the ground.

"Okay."

With a strong push from the heel of his foot, the gravel loosens under the metal tool. Hatori digs several equal size holes, before Tohru carefully places a small plantlet into the ground. She gathers the dirt from the sides and fills the surroundings. She pats the earth firmly after she's done, for good luck.

/

It is nearly two hours later before they are finished planting the new flora for spring. Hatori puts away the tools and rolls out the lawnmower. He hopes it still works after the bitter cold winter. Because he doesn't want to add another thing on his to-do fix list. The villa is beautiful, but it's slowly falling apart.

Tohru helps Hatori press the little red button on the lawnmower, three times, because his body is so sore he can't bend down. With all his might, he pulls the starter cord.

Finally it revs up. "Need help, Hatori?" Tohru shouts over the loud noise.

"Go take a break." Hatori nudges his head in the direction of the house. He hasn't been fair to her. He meant for Shigure to pull his weight, do a good amount of work to take the load off Tohru, but instead, she's been working just as hard. _I'm being selfish again. In my ill-fated attempts to push Shigure, I've inadvertently neglected Tohru. Ironic, eh_?

Tohru disappears for a moment, but then comes out with a glass of cold water. She takes the lawnmower from him and begins to circle around the grassy patch. _It's not too bad, since the grounds are flat_. Right after he puts the glass back inside the house, he takes over. But he stays in the same spot, letting the motor run, simply looking back at Tohru, with her hair swirling all around her face like a spun silk halo. Despite having smudges of dirt on her cheeks and some strands of hair plasters against the side of her face from sweat, she looks beautiful. She is a natural beauty. And it never fails to take his breath away.

"Rest up before dinner."

"But I want to help. So we'll have free time tomorrow."

"I can handle it."

"But-"

"No buts. Go back. Take a long shower or something."

"But-"

Hatori gives her a firm (not really angry) glare which sends her straight back to the house. She settles on the couch for a moment to catch her breath. _Gosh, I am so madly in love with him_. One look from him can send me into a state of panic, and lust.

_Goal 1: Got to learn how to control myself_.

/

Hatori's done with the lawn by the time she comes out of the shower. He's sitting at the counter eating an apple. Her freshly combed hair hangs around her shoulders in soft waves and her cheeks are tinged with pink, from being freshly scrubbed in the shower. She's wrapped in a large beige towel. Covered, but oh-so-tantalizing… He can smell the gentle scent of honey and milk. _ Mmm_. Of course she smells _delicious_. Tohru and food are inseparable. _Just like I wish we could be. I want to be with her forever. I don't care where we are. I just want to __**exist**__ with her by my side_.

His body has other thoughts. It wishes for a _different_ kind of _satisfying_ conclusion. He immediately feels his cock awaken from its slumber, paired with the familiar tug in his stomach. His member is taut against the front of his trousers, painfully so. He adjusts in his seat to ease the discomfort. Tohru doesn't notice and makes her way to the kitchen. "Any requests for dinner?" She calls out as she opens the fridge for a look at the available ingredients for tonight.

"_You_."

Suppressing a chuckle and a shake of her head, Tohru looks up at him, expecting a smile on his lips, but instead meets his dead serious expression. She turns her back on him, hiding her pink flush. _Not a good time, not a good time_… she repeats in her mind, as if it can stop the tightening feeling in her nether region. She pads back down the hallway to the bedroom to get dressed. She can't _not think about that_ when she's barely dressed and so… accessible. She crouches on the ground rifling through her suitcase for appropriate clothing and doesn't hear him sneak up behind her.

This isn't exactly the most opportune time, since Shigure could throw his tools in the air right now and bound into the house like the crazy mutt that he is… but he really can't wait any longer. He's just as much _bound_ to her as she is to him. When she rises with some clothing in her hands, he crowds her space, effectively moving her against the wall, trapping her with his body and his arms. He leans forward, thwarting her movements, causing to freeze up. He takes in her heavenly scent, which makes him heady with need. _You're going to be the death of me_.

He murmurs against her still wet skin, "I need you." His hot breath sends shivers down her spine, and before she can push him away, he's nuzzling her neck with his nose, his lips beginning to pepper her flawless skin with gentle kisses. Somehow, she finds her voice and begins to rationalize that this can't happen, not now at least, when there is a very angry dog outside who could, _at any moment now_ come in and see them.

"Don't talk about him right now." He nips the skin at her pulse point, effectively shutting her up, _almost_ leaving a love mark. He's not _that_ unrestrained.

_Yet_.

"I want you too, but are you sure?" She manages to utter in a fast, single breath. The words flow from her like an intense torrent. At this point, her mind is a puddle. She can't think straight. Can't form clean sentences. Only _feel_ the current of his breath drift across her sensitive skin, washing away all doubts.

"Yes." He replies, nodding his head, his bangs ticking her forehead as he swishes back and forth. She doesn't protest anymore; because the monster inside her has awakened as well. And it is not going to sleep until it gets what it craves.

As he continues to press sporadic kisses along the ridge her collarbone, his hands drift to hers and takes hold of the clothes she has in her loosened grip. He takes it away and tosses it in the general direction of her suitcase – not really caring where it lands. Then his hands move back up to the border of her towel which she has held firmly under the crooks of her arms in a near death grip. He tugs the edges and she lets go, allowing the towel to pool near her feet. She shivers in the cool bedroom, in which Hatori quickly runs his palms over her smooth arms, bringing blood to the surface. "It's okay. I'm here. I'll keep you warm."

Using one hand, he cups the curve her back, and with the other, the back of her thighs and picks her up with ease. He brings her to the bed and settles her right in the center, in one swift motion. Quickly removing his sweatpants and boxers, he kneels on the bed, in front of her, in the position of worship. His hands slip underneath her thighs and pull her closer toward him before taking his own tight erection, and running it up and down her wet slit. He can see it glistening in the afternoon light filtering in through the rice paper-covered windows.

Tohru is biting her lower lip to keep from moaning.

"Are you ready?"

Tohru nods emphatically, feeling lightheaded. Without further hesitation, he thrusts into her hot, wet sheath. It's spasming uncontrollably, milking him like there is no tomorrow. Hatori growls in disbelief – _so tight_ – he can never get enough, and he's about the _come_, despite just entering her. He hasn't even started moving yet! He sees her come apart before him, all her limbs relaxing. And then, he starts to move inside her, long strokes that touch her deep, his hips shuttling in and out of her with practiced ease. As his movements pick up, he lifts himself on his knees a bit more, pressing the palms of his hands against the bed, beside her torso, leaning forward. The angle he's at, allows the top side of his cock to graze her clit, but it isn't enough, and he knows. He knows her body too well. Her body is like an instrument he has practiced again and again – knowing her inside and out. As one hand continues to brace his weight, the other dips into her drenched curls to find the hard pearl. When his thumb begins to stroke her clit, she arches off the bed roughly, her fingers digging into the bed, grasping fistfuls of bed sheets. As her breathing becomes more and more labored, and her expression scrunching into one of _almost_ ecstasy, he pleads, "That's it, Tohru. Come for me." To which he brings her over the edge – a most desired release – as she cries out his name in a soft litany. Her hips move frantically, needing more from him. He obliges eagerly, rubbing small tight circles against her nub. Additionally, he coaxes her with gentle words. On her last arch, she draws out the length of his name; his name has never sounded so blissful. His own urgency takes over soon after, the impending release so near that it's almost painful. His squeeze his eyes shut as he finds his own rapturous release, spilling inside her.

Afterwards, he slumps forward, pressing a gentle kiss against her lips. "Thank you," he mutters against her mouth.

/

A/N: 5.9.13 - Hope you all enjoyed! Are you guys mainly TxH shippers, or others? I'd love to know!

In the language of flowers, rosemary represents remembrance and loyalty. :)

Mcangel1976: How'd u like Gure in this chapter? Diggin in an obaasan getup? Muwhaha – love to play with him!

Phenylephrine: Glad u enjoyed my playful interpretation of Shigure! Innocent and perverse… is that possible? Yes in the form of Mr. S Sohma. :) –sends S over to do some gardening with u- *wink*

Tsukiakage: TxHxS – hot! Thank you. There will be some intentional (on T's part) action between TxS in either next or next-next chappy. :)

Infinity1: I love possessive H too! So hot! Glad you've been reading the previous chapters! Sorry I didn't post like I said I would :( –self slap on wrist, bad girl!- hope this chapter makes up for it. Hehe

Kouga's older woman: THANKS!

SolemnPassive: Are the 2 words in your username personality traits? Glad u enjoy the 'heat' girly! :)

ArabellaWhitlock: ooo, yes 3some would be fanta-bulous!

Kris11993: YAY! Hehe, the things TxH are doing behind S's back… tsk tsk.

...

Where is my duckie?

370 reviews, 47 followers, 35 favs, 16609 views.

Angsty-goodness next chapter! Be on the lookout tomorrow!


	52. Chapter 52: In the Shadows

**Chapter 52: In the Shadows**

/

"C'mon, we're done, Tohru!" Hatori says insistently to his beet red-faced beauty. She is crouched in the small vegetable patch, absorbed in the task at hand – _de-weeding_. Since when did _they_ become so devoted to domestic pleasures?

"Sorry Ha'ri, just removing the final tenacious weeds. I just don't want them to steal our zucchini and pepper's nutrients, 'cuz we'll be gone until next month! No one will be able to take care of them. I have to make sure they have the best!" Tohru replies back as she continues digging. She adds, "Then nature and the sprinklers can do the rest."

"You've done a good enough job! Let's get to the pond before the sun sets!" Hatori is all but dragging her away from her precious "baby." It's Sunday, their last day at the villa until… ah, the next time is indeterminate! His feet even involuntarily do a little stomp. Luckily Shigure isn't around (napping in his room like the lazy bastard he is) because he's sure the dog would have something to say about this little scene. A grown man pleading with a young woman to get her to stop working, ha!

"Okay, that was the last one. We can go now." Tohru wipes her sweaty brow before looking up toward Hatori. Hatori face is tinted a slight shade of pink from the bright sun that hangs low in the sky and his physical exertion. He reaches out a hand to help her up. Her body feels achy and in need of a nice cool soak. It's a surprisingly hot day for early March.

They go into the house to retrieve their swimming gear. Tohru pulls out her brand-new swim suit. Last time they went into the pond, late August, neither of them had their swim suits. Hatori had been a great first-time instructor. _Dad, I promise I will learn how to swim proficiently, to honor you_! Her father had been a top swimmer at his school. But he'd died way too young, before he could teach his only daughter.

She takes out her modest one-piece swim suit. It covers her front completely. In the back, it is a low scoop. Looking in the mirror, she self-consciously adjusts the thin straps. The swim suit is the simplest one she found at the athletic store and it doesn't offer any support. Maybe she should have reconsidered... Not that Hatori hasn't seen her before, but she still feels kind of embarrassed because her nipples are hard points against the stretchy black fabric. Oh well. She steps out of the bathroom and waits on the couch for Hatori.

Just then, Shigure saunters out of his room, rubbing his eyes. "I'm thirsty and sore and overworked!" He moans. Hatori wants to say back sardonically, 'Go join a worker's union. No one forced you to come here!' His slippers make a melodious click-clack against the bamboo floor. Tohru immediately crosses her arms over her small chest. Maybe she should have covered herself with a T-shirt and shorts instead of being completely exposed, but then again, she hadn't thought Shigure would see her.

His eyes immediately grow wide. "You're going to the pond?"

Tohru nods hesitantly.

"I wanna go too!" He cries out ecstatically. Suddenly, his body is in motion, no longer "sore." He rushes past Hatori who has just come out of his room in a pair of swim trunks and a black T-shirt, with two towels under the crook of his arm.

Pointing in Shigure's direction, he looks at Tohru questioningly. "I think he's coming with us."

"We can't get a break!" Hatori mutters under his breath.

Tohru goes to the kitchen to pack three water bottles and some chocolate into a bag. Shigure comes out with his bare toned chest on display, in a pair of silky looking black shorts. "I didn't pack and swim trunks because someone didn't tell me we were going swimming, but this'll do!"

_Yeah, your total package is on full display. You might as well be nude. Shameless. That's the way to go, Shigure_. Hatori thinks derisively.

Hatori ushers Tohru out of the house, trying to shield her from the dog's "bone-_r_." The three people shuffle awkwardly on the dirt path down to the pond. Tohru is leading the way, with Hatori walking behind her, covering up her pert little backside from the perverted eyes of Shigure who follows behind them, eager for a glimpse of his little flower. Halfway to the pond, Hatori realizes that he's carrying two towels... _duh_! He opens one of them and drapes it over Tohru's shoulders. "Cover up." He whispers into her ear. She nods graciously, blushing like a rose. "Thanks." _This is more for an uncouth someone else_.

When they reach the dock, Shigure is the first to toe off his shoes and take a quick dive into the water, leaving the two others gaping in his wake. "We're going to start off slow."

Hatori is tempted to grab her hand and take her over to the sandy shore, but with Shigure... intimacy is not possible. Tohru tugs him firmly back toward the dock. "Let's jump in, together."

"Are you sure? It's only your second time…"

"It's okay." _I'm with you. I'm not afraid. I need to do this. Prove to myself that I can conquer my fears_. She places her hand in his and gives it a firm squeeze. They edge toward the end of the wooden planks. "Don't let go of me. I'll make sure you stay afloat. The water isn't super deep, but just in case."

"Okay."

"Ready, Tohru?"

"Always."

"On a count of three, we both jump."

"Okay."

"1… 2… 3!"

_Splash_!

Hatori looks around in panic when he doesn't see Tohru's head resurface. But after a few anxious seconds, she comes to the surface for a deep gasping breath of air. "You did it!" Hatori commends, squeezing her hand. Their hand squeezes are the only intimate language allowed right now.

"Yeah, I can't believe it." Tohru is still in disbelief. It was so easy to put her full faith in Hatori. Or was it in herself, because of what he made her feel?

"Hey slow pokes, come over here to the cove." Tohru and Hatori can see his head peeking out of the hanging vine curtain.

Hatori ignores him and gives Tohru some refresher instructions on how to swim. "I'm going to teach you the basics for breaststroke, your father's specialty." Tohru is surprised he remembers. They do some practicing by the dock. After an hour goes by, Tohru says assertively, "I think I'm ready for the swim over, or at least not drown on my way over."

"Okay. I'll be by your side the entire time. Don't worry."

In the deep water, Tohru feels slightly disconcerted (she hates deep water because of her irrational fear of 'sharks', even though she is in pond) and starts to paddle her feet faster, but not making any progress in terms of distance. "Hey, hey," Hatori says soothingly beside her.

"I d-don't like deep water," Tohru sputters.

"Hold on to me." Hatori swims out in front of her and motions for her to wrap her arms around his neck to hold on to him. It's such an intimate act. This is the most skin on skin contact that they've ever had. It lights a little spark of desire deep in her womb.

Once they pass the hanging vines, they notice a pale figure lying on a flat shelf of rock. "That took you guys long enough. It's as if you completely forgot how to swim."

"Unlike you, we haven't had the luxury of napping all afternoon."

"It was only after lunch. I felt sleepy after that delicious meal!"

"Remind me to never feed you anything _delicious_ then, if you are only going to use it as an excuse!" Hatori says mockingly.

Shigure makes a silly face. "Bite me. I deserve some time off too."

"From what?"

"My busy life."

_You have no idea what busy life is. Busy life is having to hide your affection for someone, in the dark, in the shadows. It's so difficult for me to keep my relationship with Tohru under wraps! I want to scream it out. I want to be able to hold her in public. Show everyone that she is mine. Mine to care for, cherish_.

Tohru doesn't want the tension between Hatori and Shigure to escalate into full-scale war, so she interjects, "I don't know how to swim. That's why it took us so long to get here. I'm sorry."

"Oh." Shigure says, feeling ashamed for his careless statement. He didn't even think that maybe it was because she didn't know how to swim. He knows so little about her… Despite living with her for all these years, it feels like she's a million miles away, orbiting in a different system. Shigure immediately thinks up a good way to fix his thoughtless statement. "Don't be sorry, I can teach you!"

"No need," Hatori states curtly, "I've already give her _her_ _first_ _taste_."

Tohru catches his double entendre and lowers her head in mortification, hoping that Shigure doesn't come to any conclusions about them.

"What stroke?"

_Oh Kami, this conversation just unintentionally turned x-rated_, Hatori muses. "Breaststroke and a little freestyle."

"Harrumph! No fair, you got dibs on teaching Tohru!"

That is up with the competitive attitude between men? Shigure's never been this way before. Maybe it's some territorial dog thing. This better not blow up. Preventive measures…

"Uh, it's getting late; we should get back for dinner."

The two men break their intense gaze at each other and turn to Tohru. "Why don't you ride on my back Tohru. You need to save your energy to cook."

_Not what I was expecting. But I can't say no. I don't want Shigure to suspect anything_…

The water droplets clinging to the ends of his hair are like the truths that are dangling right in front of her. Shigure is flirting with her.

She looks over to Hatori for some easy way out, but he doesn't offer anything. His face is set into a firm, impenetrable grimace.

"Hop on." Shigure says, gesturing toward his back.

Tohru tentatively enfolds her arms around his neck before Shigure takes off into the water. Her brain can't help but make comparisons - Shigure's back is broader, offering a more comfortable ride. _Oh my, what am I thinking? I'm treating these two men like vehicles!_ And why is my heart beating so hard? Can Shigure feel it? Please no.

/

After a rather uncomfortable dinner and settling in for bed, Hatori comes into her bedroom and slides the door softly behind him with a soft click and setting the lock in place. "Why'd you accept his offer?" His voice is husky, foreboding.

"What do you mean by offer?" Tohru says, not looking up at him. Hatori grabs a hold of both of her arms, holding her firmly in his grip. There is no running away from the truth.

"Getting on his back!"

"I didn't think you'd mind. You didn't say anything."

"Because I expected you to make that decision yourself. Otherwise it would seem like I _cared_ about you and I'm fucking not allowed to do that!" His voice breaks midway. He's furious.

"Well I didn't want him to think I was giving you preferential treatment and ignoring him!" Tohru shouts back. _It's unbelievable that he'd get mad over this! He knows. He's the one who set up the boundaries_.

"You could have let him off the hook in some other way!" Hatori says, seething.

"Like what!" Tohru throws back. "I'm in love with your best friend and I don't want you touching me!"

"Yeah, perfect, just leave out the first bit!"

"He'd notice that I let you touch me, but not him."

"Let him come to whatever conclusions he will! I don't care! I don't want him near you! Men aren't nice without hidden agendas." He ground out.

Tohru glances up at her stormy-eyed lover. If she had doubts before about her importance in his life, it was starkly clear that she meant something deeply to him, now. His expression is pained, his shoulders are drooped. It's a rare glimpse at how broken her lover is. He feels terribly insecure. Because his hands are tied. He can't do anything to prove himself to her. Except in the dark. The shadows.

And that isn't always enough.

/

A/N: Happy Friday! 5.10.2013 - Left it on an angsty note! Lots of double entendres in this chapter –wink,wink-

Phenylephrine: Hehe, did Shigure do a striptease for u? (*turning Shigure into a Chippendale*… muwhaha… for those not in the U.S. definitely go check that out to see what it is… yeah…) Thank you, lovely!

Tsukiakage: Thank you very much girl!

Mcangel1976: Shigure in floral… I want! Yeah, he's been treated like a mule… dunno if he'll want to come back… but things tend to blow over with time, and maybe he'll want to come back again…

Kouga's older woman: THANKS!

Duckie: Ahhh, missed you! U and me are both TxH shippers – I felt the same way. That snow thing he asked Tohru made me _melt_! They could definitely mend each other! Argh – I need a Hatori! Good luck with your busyness! Bloodshot eyes… what was Shigure up to? Hmmm… Yeah, Akito is an integral part of the story's turning point. Not sure when I'll get to that but things spiral downward from there.

Traceless-Poison: Cue smexy 3some, indeed. H got really jealous here. T and H definitely have a dilemma. But doesn't hurt to have a little friendly male competition – grin.

376 reviews, 47 followers, 35 favs, 16755 views.

Preview: "_See you at home, wifey!_"


	53. Chapter 53: These Four Walls

**/ Thank you all my lovely readers! And now, confession time!**

**Chapter 53: These Four Walls**

/

Hatori releases his hold on her shoulders, dread overwhelming him to the point of feeling like he's about to lose his dinner via his mouth. He can't pull her close, hold her, _feel her_. He can't tell anyone that she belongs to him. He can't fucking do anything. It's someone has his hands bound by chains, behind his back. It's like their relationship doesn't exist outside _these four walls_. It's as insubstantial as the morning fog settling over a small beach town. Just as soon as he feels the biting cold, it's gone, leaving him breathless with nothing but vague memories. And, since when did he _care _about all that?

_Feelings_ used to be so silly.

Something he flicked away with his fingers. Something he never dealt with because it was just too complicated and worrisome. And now it's all come to the surface. White-hot, blinding, _desperate_.

I don't understand why I care so much about us outside of these four walls. It doesn't matter, right? As long as we know it, right?

_Since there was a chance that you could lose her from right under your fingertips. She lives with the calculating dog who wants to place his paws all over her, like she's some toy. She comes into contact with him everyday. She lives in a testosterone-filled house for goodness sake! They are always interacting, like a family, or some semblance of one. She doesn't their chores. She washes his underwear for goodness sake! You can't do anything about it. You can't compete with that. You can't be there. That's why you feel so inferior._

_You don't have a home to offer her._

_In fact, you don't have much to offer her. _

I feel worthless, because I can't do anything to protect the woman I…

He lifts his hand and cups the back of her neck, pulling her head close to his chest. In turn, he rests his cheek against her hair.

"Hatori, I love you. Nothing else matters. _You could never lose me_."

Hatori lets out a small, mirthless laugh. "What kind of man am I that I can't even protect you?" I can't give you a place to call home. I'm living like a prisoner to the demands of a twenty-something year old 'God'! I am so weak and useless and simply pathetic.

"You are _my_ man. It was my fault anyways. If I had known how strongly you felt about it, I would have pushed away his advances. I'm sorry, Ha'ri. It won't happen again."

_It's not you I'm worried about. It's him. _

_Them_.

_All of them. Looking at you like they want to possess some part of you_.

Tohru looks up at him, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "Thank you." _For caring about me so deeply. I'm sorry I angered you. But this is the proof I need. You care for me, as I do for you_.

"I'm sorry I can't be with you tonight." He whispers against the shell of her ear. _I want to show you how much you mean to me. Love you. Fill you_.

"It's okay."

_Because as long as you are in my mind, my heart, it's enough._

/

"Let's go Shigure, Tohru needs to get to school."

"Coming!"

It's six a.m. and we're driving back to the city just in time for my 10 a.m. class. Hatori and I have packed everything into the car. We're just waiting on Shigure who is grooming himself in the bathroom while whistling a whimsical, catchy tune. Before I know it, I've memorized it, and I've started to hum it under my breath. _Gosh_. He finally comes out of the house and scuttles down the steps to meet us. His hair is neatly parted down the side, not a single tendril out of a place. It's in contrast to the disheveled state that Hatori and I are in. I didn't get much sleep last night. I kept mulling over things. The pain in Hatori's face when he said those things to me. It's the closest to a confession I'm going to get. I'm grateful. I'm in love.

Then why do I feel so sad?

How can he be afraid of losing me? I'm the one who relies on him! I need to get to the bottom of this. Have I not shown him enough how much I love him?

The drive back is quiet. I feel melancholy because our time together is over, for now. I can't explore the deeper context of Hatori's outburst last night. But at least I know how much he cares about me. And I will abide by his rules to stay away from Shigure. I love Hatori. I would do anything for him. _And I can wait forever_. To hear the words come from his mouth. It's not like I can't live without hearing them, but it would be the ultimate confirmation. His utter devotion. I shouldn't be so nitpicky, after all, I was the reason he behaved so rashly last night. But it's a girl's greatest desire. And despite my lust curse, I'm still just a plain girl who wants to be loved.

/

Hatori drops me off a block away from school. He's just started to give a once-a-week seminar, and it would not be ideal to be seen with a student. Teacher-student boundaries and all. I wave both of them good-bye. Hatori gives me a curt nod and Shigure leans out the window and calls out, "See you at home, wifey!"

Oh Kami. I can feel my cheeks burn as I turn away quickly. I'm lucky I don't slam right into the streetlight in front of me. Does he know what is going on between us? Because it sure seems like he's 'hitting us where it hurts'. He knows exactly what to say to get a rise out of Hatori and make me burn with embarrassment. Oh well, he has to be stuck in the same car as the fuming dragon for the duration of the ride back. He's getting his just deserts. Muwhaha. He's at Hatori's mercy. Ahem, wrath. That isn't too good. But hopefully I won't be enduring anymore of those outbursts when I get home this afternoon.

/

"Shigure, can you not spew those shameless comments out of a moving car, with me in it, no less?" Hatori tries to keep the bite out of his voice, but it seeps in furious ocean tide.

"I can do what I want." Shigure replies haughtily.

_And I can't, dammit! That's what's gotten me in such a state! I can't act freely like you. I can't take her to the night club and get totally wasted. I can't confess complete and utter devotion and make silly statements of love and marriage. I can't throw caution to the wind. I have to be the responsible one. I always have to. It's been my duty since I was born with my curse_.

If I don't…

There are unthinkable consequences.

"Just not at Tohru's expense, please. She's a student."

"It's not like there's anyone around. Her reputation is intact. No one will associate little old me with her, okay?"

_I will! Keep your grubby paws off_!

"I told you already. Just leave her alone."

"Since when have you become protector of her maidenhood? You've been acting all sorts of strange, don't think I haven't noticed." Shigure says, turning an inquisitive eye to his friend who is staring at the road ahead of them with single-minded focus. Shigure notices that the man's hands are gripping the wheel like he's going to squeeze the life out of them. His knuckles are white and the veins along his arms are bulging out. _Odd_.

"Don't toy with her."

"I'm not. I'm _serious_. I've told you that already."

Hatori suddenly comes to an abrupt halt by the side of the road, the tires screeching on the sheet of gravel. They are already in the forest, almost home. "Leave her the fuck alone!" He shouts, facing the man in the passenger seat.

"What the _fuck_ is this? You keep acting like you're her… Oh my –" Shigure's eyes suddenly grow wide with shock and realization. His hands involuntarily move up to cover his mouth like he's just let out of the biggest secret of his life. It's dawned on him. He's figured the mystery puzzle out. All the stolen glances, the awkward silence between them when he enters the same room,… oh Kami. How could _he_ not realize? "It's that hypothetical question you asked me a long way back. You… love with her?" His eyes are searching Hatori's, which are suddenly clouded with something… emotion – jealousy, rage, pain? The seahorse has never shown any trace of any emotion since Kana. He's had the emotional capacity of a thimble. Has Tohru somehow melted the ice around Hatori's heart? _Just like she has his_?

That's why he's been so blind… to this…

"Yes."

"Does she know?"

"Yes, er – well, sort of."

_How could I not have seen the signs? They were staring at me_. Shigure reflects sullenly. "What do you mean by that, sort of? It's a binary answer."

I haven't said it in those words exactly. Because I can't. I've afraid it will jinx everything we have. That everything will just slip through my fingers like sand. _Like before_. Am I being foolish for thinking that? For placing my heart in the hands of fate, and not my own doing?

"It's suppose to be simple, Hatori." Shigure says. As if he's somehow the word of wisdom. Well, he does know more about love that the celibate dragon.

Hatori starts up the car again and drops Shigure off at the house. He doesn't want to continue this conversation any further. It's ripping his heart apart. He knows how much he… her. _Yeah_, he still can't get the words out. Not when it means the most. _To her_.

But until the day when he gathers up enough courage, he will act upon the word he cannot say.

_Please wait for me, Tohru_.

/

A/N: 5.13.2013 - Bet you guys thought H was gonna confess to Tohru from the top A/N, eh? -evil me- Please refer to _Chapter 27: Guidance_ for that convo between H and S, if interested. :)

Readers: it's never too late to say hi!

SolemnPassive: Ooo, freshly squeezed lemonade with just the right about of tart and sweet? Yum!

Mcangel1976: Shigure knows now, but will he back down easily?

Guest/ Duckie(!): Exactly! S can spew whatever he wants – while H has to sit back and take it. Yes, H is ice-cold p-e-r-f-e-c-t-i-o-n. For the manga: I always hope that deep in him somewhere there is some unrequited love for her. Teehee, the romantic in me.

Phenylephrine: Yep, S it is! You hit the target: S can do whatever he wants! He's doesn't have the same responsibility as H. How'd u like his possessive behavior here? Now he just has to _tell her_.

Kouga's older woman: THANKS!

Tsukiakage: Thanks! Enough S action for u, eh?

Infinity1: hello girly! Thanks so much, I'm love to turn the story into a live-action; who would star… hmmm… thanks 4 dubbing me the master of ahem –blush-… hahahah, I'm so proud that u were thinking the 'that's what she said' in ur daily life… too funny! -H's _stormy_ eyes give u a wink melting u to a puddle of goo- 'does he really have the hots for Tohru or is he just getting Hari's goat?' – yes, what is that enigmatic dog up to? 'Or his seahorse as the case may be...but omg that sounds dirty.' – making me giggle like a weirdo… haha, innocent things taken out of context can easily turn… raunchy… muwhahaha! Love ya!

Kris11993: Hello! Where is all Ha'ri's discipline going? He's turning into Gure – uncouth and possessive…! You make me all happy with your kind comments. Squee! And Gure reminding u of the dog in Up – now that you mention it… yes! Very little attention span! Is T just a passing fancy for him? And that movie was adorable – Russell's voice, aww! Too cute for words! Innuendos: please give me more! –high fives u back- And ur comment about the cars – totally agree… H as a stationwagon – plain and reliable… and btw, I have a major crush on cars too… so random and weird for me… any time I see a fancy one –swoon- Bentley…not what I was expecting… but still… and have u noticed… it's always older gentlemen driving the fancy cars… never some young hot guy. :( with age comes $. Ur description of Gure as a car: "Slightly feminine. Attractive." Hahahah! Studies show: man with more feminine traits (sensitive, emotional) equals better partner…

[RANDOM INTERJECTION: Just looked up some cool info (hope u don't mind my sharing here ^_^): having more masculine features makes him prone to competition, violence, cheating, and bad parenting. More feminine traits (rounder face, softer features) – good parent, supportive… but alas, testosterone is the cause of those more masculine features as well as healthy and virile… and what us girls are drawn too… darn this!

What do you think?]

Alwayskougacola: stake that claim, Ha'ri! Don't let S get his way, that wily old dog! lovable annoyance… THE SHADOW KNOWS... love your one-liners, missy! MOAR!

386 reviews, 47 followers, 35 favs, 17240 views!


	54. Chapter 54: Anatomy of Love

**/ Enjoy! Disclaimer: Don't own Fruits Basket.**

**Chapter 54: Anatomy of Love**

**/**

_I'm giving an interesting lecture Wednesday at noon. Will u come_?

_Wouldn't miss it. Room?_

_H528._

I wake up at 6 am on Wednesday to start preparing a tasty bento lunch for Hatori, with all his favorites. He's going to be ravenous, especially after an hour and a half long lecture. His second lecture! It's a stroke of luck that the department head in the biology department offered the part-time position to Hatori. They did their residency together in Tokyo, and he thought of Hatori for the job. He didn't even tell me until our trip over the weekend, typical _guy_! Gosh, if I had known he was sneaking around on campus, I would have ventured out to do some… casual spying myself. But alas, more opportunities to see Hatori outside of the villa and Shigure's house! We can't exactly hold hands or do any "couple-y" things, but it's okay. As long as I can see him. And I feel so… _cared for_ to be invited. He wants me there! My heart swells like a crest of an ocean wave.

It's typical for him to skip meals, and I can't exactly hover over him and take care of him the way I'd like to, but from now on every Wednesday, when he's on campus, I can. I promise I'll be the _best_…

I take my marinated spare ribs out of the fridge and pop them into the preheated oven.

I leave the oil in the wok for too long and it starts to sizzle and spatter... aiyahhh! I hope it doesn't wake Shigure down the hall. I turn off the fire before putting in the egg, which bubbles on the surface like a witch's cauldron. After the egg is ready, I dump in the leftover rice from last night. Day old rice is the best for making fried rice so that the grains don't stick. I shift it around in the pan so that everything is nicely coated with oil before adding in green onion, peas, corn, carrots, and ham. Hmm, it smells delicious. No time for breakfast… I'll eat at the bus stop… After the fried rice is done, I also prepare a Western spinach salad with candied walnuts and cranberries. _I'm salivating already. *Hot mess*_

The bento box I'm using for Hatori isn't one of mine. All of mine have little creatures and hearts and cute stuff on it. I don't want Hatori to be embarrassed when he eats my lunch. This is a strictly professional lunch box. Purpose: to serve. It's a cool three layer-ed device that I saw while window shopping around the holidays. Hatori and I had been in a separation phrase after he said he needed time to decide between Kana and I so we didn't exactly celebrate the holidays together. Wallowing in self-pity, I went shopping to soothe the pain pounding under my ribcage.

Each layer of the box can swing out in different directions so you can have all your dishes in an easy to access way. There's a little stand in the back so it doesn't collapse if you decide to fold out the compartments in some strange configuration. It's in a navy color which suits Hatori – dark and mysterious, haha.

Bottom layer: fried rice

Middle layer: ribs and salad

Top: Strawberries and honeydew

I draw a little doodle on a sticky note and place it in a plastic Ziploc bag. A picture is worth a thousand words. Plus, I not want to leave anything incriminating… gods, what kind of secretive relationship is this? No time to dwell… With a kiss, I place the little baggy on top of the fruit. I pick up a little plastic two-pronged fork with a little heart at the top and spear the honeydew. _A little cuteness inside that an outsider won't be able to see_… I hope he's okay with that…. Then I seal the lid.

It's officially eight by the time I'm done loading the food into his box, my box (a silly Pochacco box), and a box for (ahem, house-bound) Shigure and Kyo. Normally, the three of us eat "made-over" dinner leftovers, but today is a special occasion. I'm giggling the whole ride to school, despite standing (since I've offered my seat to a pregnant girl), being weighed down by my boulder-heavy backpack, and bumping into all sorts of different people. And oops, I forgot to eat breakfast in my giddy excitement. Oh well.

In my _continued_ dream state (blame Hatori), I almost miss my stop. All the other students barrel off the bus like the door has some timer, and it almost closes before I stumble out with an apology to the driver for my klutziness. There are some meanie bus drivers who'll tell you, you snooze, you lose. I've been at the receiving end of that several times. But today, everything is going my way.

I breeze through class, taking notes as the teacher lectures. It is 11:52 when I rush out of the classroom to get across campus to the Hatori's lecture hall. I can't believe I'm going to witness him at the front of a classroom, _teaching_. I've never seen him in public (haha, he's like a vampire).

/

I'm late by the time I get to the classroom. The seating is coliseum style and completely full. There are already students sitting on the steps. I spot an empty seat tucked away in the middle of the room and wiggle my way past some students to settle myself in. Hatori has written on the blackboard in big clear letters (to add to his list of 'special features' – his beautiful handwriting, it's like a font) – The Anatomy of Love.

_Oh Kami_. I swallow hard. My heart is thumping in anticipation. What is this? What am I about to witness? Love? _He's never even said those words to me_…

He's standing perfectly straight behind the podium like a marble statue, completely relaxed and poised. I can't believe I'm about to hear my lover give a lecture. How many people can say they've experienced that?

His neck is craning, trying to search the darkening room. Is he looking for me? A little voice inside me squeaks. Or maybe he's just estimating the turn-out rate.

I don't think I've been in a lecture hall with this many people. It's jammed. And I'm not sure if it's just how it turned out, but there are _way_ more girls than guys.

"Okay, let's start off the lecture. How many of you can say you've been in love?"

My eyes dart around. There are a few brave people who are raising their hands.

"Well, let's see if that's the truth."

The black screen behind him suddenly lights up. There is a tasteful erotic photo of a woman's figure in black and white. _Uhhh_, what is he doing? This is quickly turning R-rated… My face heats up. I don't even hear the students around me. This is like a private viewing. _Mine_.

"This picture activates the hypothalamus which is the part of your brain responsible for your body temperature, hunger, and thirst, among other things and your amygdale which controls your arousal. But this is just lust. Purely lust. _Love_ activates a _different_ part of the brain… as we're going to learn."

I'm completely engrossed in his lecture. As is the rest of the class, based on the complete and utter silence spread across the whole 500 people classroom. He doesn't need any slides or anything to keep everyone's attention. His teaching style is very colloquial, honest, engaging. I am surprised by his easy repertoire since he is usually so quiet. I'm happy to note that Shigure isn't the only wordsmith in the family! Hatori's knowledge is profound. Questions asked are answered with thoughtfulness. I would have expected him to be a strictly powerpoint lecture kind of guy.

"…Things like antidepressants alter the chemicals involved in love – including serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine. It will blunt obsessive thinking, which is a critical component in love. And the effects on desire and performance we won't even go into that because it's a downward spiral from there. A little cliché to fill in all the blanks: drugs are bad for you. They can do unthinkable things to your body's chemistry."

/

Time flies by and soon the bell rings. Everyone applauses and I can tell Hatori doesn't like the praise. He motions with his hands for the crowds to 'settle down.' While his face is a pale mask (never blushes except after a shower or… sex), I can see his gestures are slightly shaky.

As most of the students leave, I can see a dozen lingering behind. There are a few students asking thoughtful questions to which Hatori returns them thoughtful answers. I sit there. Studying the way he interacts with other people. It's not what I expected. He's not some crabby curmudgeon. He's likeable, albeit distant. He's like an actor. Beautiful, charismatic, on screen.

I decide to move so I can hear him. I can see a little throng of girls. I'm not sure if they are in a line to talk to him, or if they are going to approach him together, but I stand behind them, waiting my turn to speak with Dr. Sohma/ Professor Sohma (I'm not quite sure what to address him as). _Sigh_, he's perfect. In the classroom, and _in the bedroom_. My sexual urges are returning, full force. I cross my legs to obstruct my traitorous bodily needs. _It's the middle of a school day, Tohru! Get your act together_!

Then, quiet dialogue drifts into my thoughts.

_He's so hot. _

_I wonder if he's single._

_I'm so glad he's filling in for Professor Arata who is so boring. I would have never come to class this whole semester if it weren't for Your Hotness. At least we have Wednesdays to enjoy some yummy eye candy._

_And drool._

_I'd do anything to get a man like him – smart, handsome, modest, and oh-so-composed. _

_He's probably a dominant in bed._

_Eiko, that's not appropriate! What have you been reading? Not your required reading, apparently._

_Do you think he'll accept the bento box I made him?_

_Wow, someone moves fast. May I Slytherin? Haha. Did you make that yourself or buy it?_

_Does it matter? It's the thought that counts._

_It least if it's store-bought, we know it won't be poisoned with some drug. _

Their hushed voices become a jumbled chaos in my mind. The words slashing across my heart. Bento box?

I feel like I've had the wind knocked out of me.

I feel the bile rising up my throat. I've got to get out of here. I spin around and run blindly for the door.

/

I find the closest bathroom which is luckily right next to the lecture hall. Thank goodness there is no one inside. Locking myself in the stall, I proceed to sit on the toilet seat (with the disposable sheet in place, of course) and place my head in between my legs to stop the nausea and dizziness. I let my backpack roll off my shoulders, onto the ground with a solid thunk. It's not the cleanest place, but I don't care at this point.

/

A/N: *5.18.2013 - Awww, poor Tohru. Her insecurities strike again! _May I Slytherin_? I love that line dunno where I've seen it, but credit to them! Wish I knew more about biology so I could do the lecture justice… boo-hoo.

SolemnPassive: Hehe, good question about whether or not S will back off or not.

Tsukiakage: Yep, but at least the truth is out (somewhat!)

Phenylephrine: S needs time to lick his wounds (and come back bigger and badder… jk jk) Hehe, H is definitely _getting more_ than S, at this moment. Wuv u! p.s. Shuji'll be back in no time too.

Kouga's older woman: Thanks!

Miaboo011: Ahhh, that's where you've been girly! Definitely wishful thinking… wink,wink. :)

Infinity1: Very nice… hara-kiri… -erases those _un_lovely thoughts from ur mind- :) My attempt: hatokiri? Bahaha fail. Love ur lovely reduction to: ugly family man… AKA #uglyfamilyman. –grinning like a maniac- someone please twitter that. :)

Horny-Bitch-198LuvYa: Whoa, your username is so wild. :) Hope you are up to speed. :)

Mcangel1976: Good questions dearie! T has K. And now H has S. We need S to sweep A off her feet and leave our lovebirds alone FOREVER!

Kris11993: THANK YOU! "You are MY man," I imagined a young girl snappin' her fingers back and forth and waving her head all around. – haha, totally agree. Paired with a: Oh no u din't! Man up – wise words! H needs to make T feel like a princess! Hehe about sitting in the backseat with H and S while they 'hash' things out. Count me in too!

Traceless-Poison: Hehe, it makes me happy that you are drowning in the angst. Yes, we shall see more of them! I'll try to bring in more characters too, must make use of all my little Juunishi! :)

Winter Star light: Hi! Glad you are along for the ride! :) Thanks so much for your kind words.

399 reviews, 49 followers, 36 favs, 18231 views!


	55. Chapter 55: Office Hours

**Chapter 55: Office Hours**

/

_Where r u_?

Three small words.

He saw a glimpse of what he thought was her long brown hair fluttering in the draft from the open doors, but he couldn't be sure, with all the eager students hounding him after class and the darkened state of the big echo-y room. He was grateful that his lecture had garnered such curiosity, but only one person's opinion counted. _For you, my Tohru. Do you know how much you mean to me?_ Hiding his disappointment, he immediately told the rest of the students lingering in the classroom to come to office hours. This lecture had been meant for her, to tell her that his heart, which had been shattered countless times before her was in the process of being mended, and now hers. _Only hers_. Yes, it wasn't exactly the most straightforward way to go about telling her his innermost feelings (and he was usually the blunt one), but the only way he knew.

_I'm sorry. I had to go_. Tohru sends back with a sad face emoticon.

_I need to see you before the day is over_. He replies as he runs his fingers through his hair in agitation, not minding the long length of his bangs falling over his eyes. He needs her as much as she needs him.

_r u sure? _

He could imagine her looking all flustered, her hands fluttering all over the place and her eyes wide with panic. Worrying that they'd get caught or something. His little worrywart.

_Yes. My office hours are from 5 to 7._

_K, c u_

_Since when did she become the more cryptic one?_

_/_

It's a quarter past 5, and his tiny office is jammed with students of different genders, different shapes, different ages (there's even a woman about his age)_. _It is sad to say he's never been in such close proximity to so many people before (he never goes to the touristy parts of town. _Ever_). It feels somewhat overwhelming, claustrophobic, but he'll deal. This is a small price to pay for having a part-time job and something to do outside of the stifling estate. They are asking if he has written any books or has any recommended reading. Some bold boy even straight up asks him if he has any advice about 'matters of the heart.' As if! _I can't even tell the woman I care for how I truly feel! I am the furthest thing from a love doctor! (Not that you should trust anyone who claims to be a 'love doctor' – look what it did to Tohru…)_ He quickly tells to boy to 'handle it thoughtfully' and not to consult any 'human' resources. Only the heart knows… did those words seriously just come out of his stern, tight-lipped mouth? What was he transforming into?

Luckily none of these students were here to judge or compare him to his previous self – because there were bound to be some major changes that he did not want to explain.

"Doctor Sohma?" A girl says, fluttering her false eyelashes. She's pretty, but in a superficial way (he's never been attracted to those types), with long dyed two-toned hair that is perfectly curled at the ends and a breathy falsetto voice. She looks and acts like a doll.

"Yes?" Hatori can barely keep his attention – everything about her screams pain and discomfort – from her long manicured nails to the barely-there shorts that are molded to her crouch. He keeps on looking at the door, for the moment that Tohru will walk in. His heart is beating a feral melody in his chest. "I didn't get a chance to give you this…" She thrusts a black bento box toward him with a cherry red blush staining her face. "You were so busy this afternoon, presenting that wonderful lesson that you didn't have a chance to eat a proper lunch. I just bought you one."

Wow, girls these days are very… forward. Is this the type of behavior he's supposed to accept? He doesn't really know the protocol these days… maybe this isn't as out-of-the-ordinary as he's used to, since he lives in his own 'shell' as Shigure claims.

"Thank you, but I'm not sure I should accept this from you." And just then, his stomach growls. _Just my luck_, he thinks sarcastically.

The girl giggles lightly. "No worries. I'd be honored if you accepted it." She places it on his desk and removes the plastic cover. The steam from the rice rises in white smoky curls. The delicious smell of fried pork chops and eggs fills his nose. Mmm, it reminds him that he's so hungry. He missed lunch due to the staff meeting, and then he had to make a "house" call. Akito was having another temper tantrum, saying that her skin was itching all over. That there were mites or bed bugs in her room. She was such a hypochondriac! And what was that odd thing that caused him to stop in his walk? Oh yeah, progeny. What the hell was she going on about? Was she getting more delusional that usual? To her credit, she did have some hives on her legs, but that could be from anything. She was allergic to almost everything – from pollen to most of the tree nuts to nickel to cleaning products, and she had overly dried skin which she liked to scratch – the list went on (_and on_ – Hatori had actually thought about compiling a list to sending it in to the Guinness World Records/ world wide universities – along with the test subject, he didn't mind. _Really_. Let them deal with this… marvel). Hatori told her to spend the rest of the day in the rock garden (safe from any pollen and or other allergens) getting some fresh air or relax in the dry sauna. Akito grudgingly said she'd listen to him about the rock garden (since the dry sauna gave her nosebleeds).

/

Around 6:30, there are no more students. He leans back against his chair and draws a long breath of air. He hasn't been this tired in years. Not just mentally tired, but physically. His legs ache from standing the whole time in the bright spotlight. Despite his calm demeanor, he was a boiling cauldron of emotion. Fear of public speaking. The students throwing a mutiny against him. Throwing spitballs at him (yes, he realizes that times are different, there are so many more 'modern' approaches… viral videos). But things went surprisingly well. The attendance rate was much higher than he'd expected. Even though he couldn't exactly discern the attendees, he could see _and hear_ that there were a lot of students – overfilling onto the stairs. Good news. And it had been far from a chore. He had very much enjoyed dredging up his old notes and researching the latest and greatest. He'd even gone to the library for goodness sake – a place he had forsaken for nearly a decade! He'd learned a lot. Even stayed up past midnight! Time flew!

All thanks to a little someone. It had been for her, of course. Some kind of confession he hoped she'd understand. He hoped it wasn't too cryptic. Gods, he was acting like such a schoolboy – sweaty-palmed and groveling for the attentions of his young love! And where the hell was she?

_Knock, knock_.

The knock is soft and hesitant, and he instantly knows who it is.

"Come in." He says sternly, keeping up pretenses. Just in case.

She steps in quietly, her head titled downward.

He senses something is wrong. Hatori immediately rises and moves to her side, shutting the door behind her quietly. "What's wrong?" He asks softly, his heart pounding heavily in his chest. He doesn't know women, but he knows _her_.

"No-nothing."

She looks like she's carrying the weight of the world on her small shoulders – like she's going to be crumpled by the burden at any second now. He wraps his hands around the thick black straps digging into her shoulders to pull off the offending backpack. He slips the backpack onto the ground and reaches for the small navy bag in her hand. It looks boxy – like a stack of books. However, she keeps her grip tight on the bag.

"Let go," he says.

She stubbornly holds on, but after their continued tug-and-pull, she finally relents. It clatters on the ground and the barely closed top reveals itself like a blossoming flower. It doesn't sound like books, more like plastic. It catches Hatori's attention – and he reaches inside. Quick hands immediately dart out to stop him. "No."

"Why? What is it? _What's wrong_?"

It's too late. He's already taken the navy lunch box out of the bag, looking at it with growing anger. "You didn't eat lunch? Again? How many times do I have to tell you? It isn't healthy for you. If you're not doing it for yourself, at least do it for me."

"No-no, I ate some of mine."

He slips a compartment open and sees that it is uneaten. He continues further, seeing the fruits, vegetables, meat, rice. "No you didn't." He says simply, fuming inside.

"No, mine is over here." Tohru says, pointing at her backpack. She bends down to take out her small container with a black white dog with floppy ears on it. She presents it to him with shaking hands. "Then what is this?" Hatori asks, shaking the completely untouched lunch box at her. _Is this one of those love bento boxes? Had she planned on giving it to some guy_?

She's silent.

But Hatori has the patience of saint.

The words are stuck in her throat. She can't tell him. He'll think she is just one of those silly college girls fawning all over him. He won't like it.

"It's my dinner." Tohru responds after much thought. Yes. That's the best answer. _Don't let him know. If he doesn't know, you can't be rejected. He's already eaten, there's no point in explaining yourself._

Just then, his stomach growls.

Tohru looks up with shock, into his turbulent bottle green eyes. "You haven't eaten lunch yet?" _What about the girls_?

"No, I've been busy." And I was planning on taking you out tonight. Away from all of this. I have to make it up to you. Why did you leave so quickly after the lecture? Why did you wait afterwards, only to rush out quickly when I looked over? Why is there a knot in my chest?

His eyes drift downward and he notices a small slip of paper peeking out from the layer containing the fruit. He slides the partition out so he can get at the little paper. It's neatly zipped up inside a plastic paper. There is a picture of two spoons. A bigger spoon with a little bow tie and a smaller one with bangs and a big grin. His eyebrow quirks up. This is most definitely not for herself.

"Tell me, Tohru. Who did you make this for?" His voice trails off into a rasp. He's not sure he can handle if she says she made it for some other guy. Gods, if she mentions that Shuji guy, his heart will literally explode into a thousand shards_. I want to hear the truth, but please soften the blow_.

"I made it for you," Tohru finally blurts out, shuffling her feet shyly.

His eyes immediately lift up, searching the depths of hers. "Really?"

She returns a small, shy nod. _Who else would I make it for_?

"Why didn't you tell me?" Why would you hide this from me? Do you know how much this makes my heart swell with happiness? No one's ever…

"It's probably not good anymore, you shouldn't eat it… we can go out, I'll get you something better – "

"No." He slips the chopsticks from their little slot and pokes it into the honeydew to show her that he means it. He stuffs it in his mouth before she can protest, and proceeds to open all the layers of the lunch box and eat everything inside, like a starving animal (all proper etiquette forgotten). Gosh, it tastes delicious. Better than any expensive bento box purchased in the surrounding take-out places nearby. Better than any delicacy prepared by the estate chefs. Better than any food from a three-star Michelin starred restaurant. It doesn't matter that the meat is cold, or that the honeydew isn't ice cold the way he prefers it. It doesn't matter that the sauce from the ribs smears all over his mouth and that he may look like a ravenous wolf. _Nothing else matters_.

Because she made it.

_For me_.

Never in his more than three decades of life has anyone prepared him a lunch with this much sincerity. Not even his own mother. He grew up on professional cooking by a classically trained chef hired by the estates. Gourmet. Delicacies. Pretty. But he wanted none of that. He wanted love. Something out of love. His mother had never even made him a plain riceball! It didn't matter how it tasted – it was the gesture, and there had never been a single one. Not a single dry riceball. And here is Tohru, hiding the fact that she made this for him. Hiding it like it's a shame. Why? It breaks his heart that he misunderstood her in the beginning. Apologies can't fix the harm he's done. _Why am I such in insensitive prick_?

When he's done, he looks up at her with pleading eyes and his mouth full. "Why didn't you tell me?" He repeats. Since when did he forgo all manners – speaking with his mouth full?

_Since you fell in deep, silly. Says a little voice inside, that sounds an awful lot like Shigure's._

"Because I saw you – those girls br-brought you lunch too."

"I don't want their lunches. I don't want their store-bought lunches. I want you. Don't you know that?"

"I-I…"

He rises and grabs his coat off the hook on the back of his door. "Let's go, I'm taking you out the dinner."

/

A/N: 5.29.2013 - Sniffles – H is so quick to misunderstand since no one ever does sweet things for him… he honestly had no idea. Whaaaaaaa, -grabs a bunch of tissues to wipe away the tears and back-hug H-

For all my innuendo-lovers: caption for Tohru's little spoon drawing: Let's spoon. –grin-

Mcangel1976: Yeah for H's resistance to a yummy store-bought bento!

Winter Star light: Hopefully smutty goodness in the next chappy! Thanks girl!

Tsukiakage: Thanks! How's Ha'ri gonna make it up to her on a schoolnight? Bah!

Kouga's older woman: Thanks! U never miss a beat my lovely!

Phenylephrine: Thanks for the encouragement! Glad u enjoyed the anatomy bit – all factual. :) Dafuq – love that! Hehe, girls swarming all over our tasty little morsel of wintry goodness. How'd ya like H's reaction to T hiding the bento?

SolemnPassive (almost gonna type SolemnPosessive!) Heehe, thanks!

Kris11993: -hands u a matching bento box and Hatori to feed you (btw, he's covered in chocolate… waiting for you to lick him clean… ok, mature content- Glad you liked the lecture! He's so un-loved… but all things have changed since T came into his life! Really, there are professors like this? Girls go to OH just for them? -wipes brow- WOW. Just WOW. Intense. There is something about authority that just elevates a man. Dunno.

Infinity1: Hey honey! H has to break T out of her low self-esteemed mold! I love misunderstandings too! Many more to come… -H can't make it, but Shigure wanted me to ask you if he could be your man-servant this weekend and feed u chocolate covered strawberries while watching any romantic movie of your liking *p.s. he's crossing his fingers eagerly for your reply*- Oh yes, the story will go into the summer – as long as I have readers - :p! Hope you will continue reading! OMG, same here, I barely read any 'real' novels. So many stories, so little time… :) BAH!

Traceless-Potion: WHOOOOOOO thanks for your support dear! Yes, our H is pushing the envelope with his showing of erotic photo in class!

Guest: Hello! Thank you for your kind words. Glad you've read my stories! Means a lot!

NickiL: THANKS!

411 reviews, 48 followers, 37 favs, 19578 views.


	56. Chapter 56: Simple Pleasures

WARNING: SMUT. Enjoy gals!

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.

**Chapter 56: Simple Pleasures**

Before he can reach for the doorknob, his heart pounding an ecstatic rhythm against his ribcage, Tohru reaches for his hand to stop him. "Won't someone see us?"

In all his haste, he's almost forgotten their pretense which could have dire consequences. Luckily, his cautious little flower has come to the rescue (when has he called her my that affection?).

"Yes." He chews on the bottom of his lip while he thinks of a solution. "Do you know how to get to the street corner where we dropped you off that morning?"

She nods keenly.

"I will wait for you there. Please be careful." Hesitant to let go of her hands, he presses a drawn-out kiss to her knuckles.

Tohru is the first to head down the darken hallway. There is a soft humming drifting in the air. When Tohru turns the corner to head down the stairwell, she spots a janitor mopping the floors. "Good night!" Tohru shouts cheerfully.

The older gentleman gives a gentle nod of acknowledgement in her direction. Humming the same haunting little tune herself, she walks down the stairs to the exit. As she makes her way across the dark campus, she notes the few stragglers around the library and a small line forming in front of the Yakisoba kiosk. She can see the chef wearing a peace-sign bandana high around his forehead, with a pair of scissors in one hand and a metal spatula in the other, like he's about the perform a magic trick. The smell wafting in the air is delicious – a wondrous blend of sweet onions, cabbage, and pork.

/

Hatori waits a few moments by organizing his desk which is bare except for his desktop monitor, his lecture notes, and his favorite ballpoint pen.

Finally, he leaves his office. Secret tryst with a student? Shigure would be a field day with that. In high school, he admitted his favorite word was 'forbidden.' Gosh, the dog was destined to become a 'forbidden romance author'. After walking three flights of stairs, he pushes through the metal door. The breezy spring air rushes to greet him, running through his hair like a pair of lover's hands. His keen noses makes out a mingling of onions and meat. _Smells delicious._ Hmmm, where am I going to take Tohru for dinner? With a few long strides, he reaches the edge of the parking lot. With eagerness, his car keys are already looped around his finger. Sidetracking him, a girl's voice drifts into his ears. Oh, how he wishes he could just disappear right now. Please, no more disruptions today!

"Professor Sohma?"

He spins around, trying to keep the disappointment off his face. Can he seriously get a break?

"Yes." He says, looking back at the pretty, willow-thin girl standing before him. She is hauling a heavy-looking large brown envelope under the crook of her arm. She is wearing a loose tank top tucked into a long slinky skirt, which emphasizes the 'S' shape of her body. He notices, but none of this gets a rise out of him_. It's meaningless if there isn't a heart and mind to match_.

"I was wondering if you could… hmmm, give me a ride to the dorms. They are just around the corner. I missed the bus and this canvas is terribly heavy." She looks up at him expectantly.

"I was wondering if you could just drop me off. I mean, if you are going in that direction and all."

Hatori looks at the direction she is pointing at. Indeed, he is going in _that direction_. And this is his student, he shouldn't be rude. He's been known to be disagreeable and cold, and he doesn't want this to get back to his colleagues and the other students. He could potentially be turned down for future opportunities. Fuck these conundrums!

"Yes. Fine." He says curtly, not wanting to extend the welcome. She hurries after his long strides. He kindly opens the door to the backseat of his car so the girl and her art project can fit inside.

/

Tohru waits patiently by the curb, moving a pebble around on the pavement.

"It's a small world, eh?" Says a mellifluous voice behind her. Tohru turns her head to catch sight off Shujii's killer smile – his pearly white teeth and the perfect arc of his lips.

Tohru nods shyly. "What are you doing here so late at night?" He looks around and sees that there is no bus stop sign either. Earnestly, he adds, "Do you need a ride?"

"No, it's alright." Tohru responds.

"Then I'll wait with you. I have nothing better to do." The true reason is because no woman should be out this late alone. And he doesn't fancy seeing Tohru get forcefully taken away by some criminal. (Yes, he's a fan of crime shows.) He's seen the way some guys can behave. Especially at his club.

He takes a seat on the fire hydrant with his legs spread, looking up at her with reverence.

"You don't have to." Tohru chimes in, bringing him out of his deep thoughts. "Don't you have the club to take care of?"

"Nightclubs aren't open on weekdays, silly."

"Oh sorry." Tohru says, feeling a sudden rush of blood to her cheeks.

"No problem, honest mistake." _Every time I see you, I lose myself a little more. If you were mine, I would do everything for you. There's something about you that screams sadness and all I want to do is protect you. Save you. It sounds so silly. So girly. But I do_.

Tohru's eyes suddenly turn bright. "How did Otsuka's chocolate gift go?"

"He did alright. They've been studying together at the library. Speaking of, there he is. I'm supposed to pick him up." Shuji waves to Otsuka who is walking toward them with a light gait. "Hey guys!" He shouts.

"Hey." Tohru and Shuji call out simultaneously. The three of them start of an easy conversation.

Finally, a black car pulls up curbside. It's nearly fifteen minutes. Hatori debated whether or not to approach them, but figured the two boys already knew about their relationship. And if they saw him in class, they'd make the connection anyway. Just another 'loose end' to keep track of.

"Here's my ride. Thanks for waiting up."

"No problem."

The two boys watch her safely climb into the passenger seat of the car. Shuji strains to see who the driver is, but the headlights are blinding. But he's about 90% sure it's that mysterious guy with the sideswept-hair-that-covers-his-eyes who doesn't speak.

/

Because of Tohru's unrelenting protest not to go to a 'fancy' restaurant, they end up at a mall food court that Tohru says she and her friends used to come to. It is slightly out of the way, but he doesn't mind at all. Tohru ends up with a vegetarian crepe, and at her insistence, Hatori gets a fruit jelly. Of course, Tohru is more considerate of him than herself. Typical.

Afterwards, he wants to walk around the town with her, but remembers her mention of homework. And after all, it's a school night. They scramble back into his car, pay the parking fee, and leave the city.

/

Hatori is hesitant to drop her off. It'll be next month before they have dedicated alone time again. Instead, he wants to whisk her away. _Far, far away_. To a secret place. Away from this all. Responsibility. Secrets. School. Students.

Countryside. That's something he really likes. Despite his fondness for the latest technologies and the extravagant city architecture, he wants that life. Simple. Free.

"I didn't get to tell you today, but you did a great job. Everyone loved you, especially the girls."

Hatori scoffs. "Yeah right."

"No seriously. There were like more than 100 _extra_ people in the room. I've been in that lecture hall before and it's never at full capacity. It was a shock to see that many people – it was like overheated mosh pit – sorry for my disturbing imagery, but it's true. They are gonna need to replace the air conditioning in there if you continue teaching."

Hatori smirks before pulling to a sudden stop at the side of the road in the forest. There are very few cars that come out this way. Yet, it isn't quite countryside, because the brightness of the city still washes out all the stars at night.

"Huh?"

Their eyes meet, and despite the darkness, she can see the depths of his anguish-filled eyes. "Why are you sad?" She asks, her heart clenching painfully. She's learning how to read him without words. Her hands move up to his jaw, caressing the smooth skin with her thumb. Turning his head in her hold, he kisses the center of her palm. Her hand retracts quickly, shocked by his unexpected move. "Swear to me that I am the only one for you." Hatori says in a low voice.

The familiar stirring begins to churn in her stomach, that feeling that always arises when she is emotional or needy for his touch.

"I swear, you hold my heart. I will always be yours as long as you will have me." Tohru replies.

He brings his right hand to cup her jaw, mimicking her previous action. "How would I not want you? You've brought my happiness I could only dream of before. I can't say it right now, but know that you have evoked in me things that I thought were long dead. I thought I'd go on living like this - like a zombie, or a puppet, until Kami killed me out of my misery after I'd done all the duties required of me by Akito. But you give everything meaning. I'm not just some unfeeling Tin Man that everyone thinks I am. I need you. And I just….

_Wait for me_."

There is a pregnant silence between them as Tohru lets his words sink in. Why does he mention such morbid things? Doesn't he know how much life means?

"Of course. I love you too much to ever give you up." _As long as you don't give me up_.

He closes the small gap between them, kissing her with the urgency of a man on death row. It's hard and demanding. His tongue plunges into the depths of her mouth, tasting every niche, wanting to remember the feel of her. Tohru yields to his hasty movements, his hands moving up her waist to mold her breast with almost bruising pressure. He's shocked that she's not wearing a bra. The alpha in him wants to warn her to be careful of accidentally showing off her body to other men – the erect points of her breasts in the early morning cold, but he knows her too well. Her modesty is just another one of her vast number of admirable traits. She doesn't flaunt. It's not like he has a list he checks off, but with her, everything is perfect. No man needs to search any further. And that's what makes him sometimes jealous. Jealousy is something he doesn't have much experience with, and when it strikes, it's difficult to rein in. In recent months, it has twisted his heart and made his brain hurt as all the worst-case scenarios play out before him like a dreadful slideshow.

His hand searches in the dark for hers. When it finds her small soft hand, he places it flat against his chest, over his thumping heart. "It's yours." He says during a momentarily break between their mouths. She immediately leans in to kiss him with equal fervor. A little part of her is terrified at their recklessness, and the week-long trip that is bound to be an emotional roller-coaster and have her needing his touch. His hand drops from hers, bunches her skirt up at her waist, and dips in between her thighs. Luckily, she's wearing a skirt today because he could not handle the slower movements of undoing her pants.

Finding her too far away from him, in the passenger seat an arm's length away, he adjusts his seat to move backwards. "Come over me." He says gruffly. It never ceases to excite him, that he is the only one to do this to her. He's the one who taught her this simple, primal pleasure.

She does so, moving over him swiftly so that her legs are on either side of his, straddling him, spread over him. They've done this before, in the car. As his fingers fumble to seek out her slick heat, he inadvertently touches her naked flesh which is covered with goose-bumps. His gentle touch has the same effect as a feather and causes her to quiver over him uncontrollably. She bends her forehead onto his shoulder for stability. His fingers slip past her curls into her folds to caress the slippery little pearl. Just touching her arouses him - his hard length is pressed uncomfortably in his pants. He moves in his seat to let his tented trousers touch her so she knows. Her eyes flutter open and look into his. His face is slightly lower than hers since she's on her knees over him, and she feels strong. Even though she is probably the one who needs this the most, at least she knows that he is somewhat needy of her too. He strokes tight circles around her, until she is quaking and wet and super sensitive to the point where she lifts up from his hand. "I don't want to come too fast," she murmurs shyly, despite the pulsing desire that is coursing through her. _Pure torture_. This is what they call 'pleasure and pain.' Her words send him into a personal hell. He's going to come in his pants soon if he doesn't get inside her. She drops her lips over his again, and wraps her arms around his neck for support. His fingers find her nub and begin their expert ministrations again. Her fingers are twisting in his hair at the nape of his neck and he catches all her soft moans into his mouth, like they are some elixir, _or drug_.

As she edges toward her release, her lower half begins to move, begging for more of his touch. Her eyes lose focus as she tilts her head back, completely enveloped in her lover's embrace and delicate touch. As he continues to caress her, his other hand curls around her back, steadying her. All her rational thought has jumped to its death, leaving her stranded, pleasure seeking, wanton. Before she can gather her current limited vocabulary together to say something to him, a warning of some sort, she is sailing over the brink of rapture and release. He senses her impatience just in time, can feel the shorter intervals of her slickness rubbing over his fingers, and whispers into her ear, "Come for me."

And she does (his voice alone can drive her to insanity), stifling her cries into his shoulder, every muscle in his body tenses, needing her. His hand slips away, knowing that any further action against her too sensitive clit would be painful. He doesn't have time and uses one hand to lift her up enough for him to remove his constricting pants. His eager cock springs out of his boxer-briefs right has he strips the cotton material down his legs. It is painfully hard and very eager to feel her silken walls pulsing around him as he slides in and out of her in a hurried pace. Just has he rises to meet her, she slides down on him. Entering her in such a fashion makes his mind fizzle - no more thinking, no more doubts.

"Do you want me?" He asks sincerely.

She doesn't respond because she is too busy moving over him, wanting to give him as much pleasure as she can, completely lost in sensation. "Please answer me. Do you want me?" He repeats, struggling to hold back. He needs to hear that she wants him, that she wants his. He's a hypocrite. He needs her vocalization, her acknowledgement, acceptance, yet he expects her to stay with him despite not being able to say those three blasted words.

Before he loses himself in the negative thoughts creepy into his mind like ivy, she touches her cheek against his and whispers the exact word he needs to hear. "Always." And she murmurs, "I love you, Hatori."

/

A/N: 5.31.2013 - Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Thank you to all the loyal readers out there! Leave a message so I can personally thank you. :)

Kouga's older woman: Thanks!

Mcangel1976: H is a true beast (in eating)! Yes, misunderstandings galore! I live for those (and male jealously *fangirl-ing*)

Tsukiakage: Love you, girlie! Hehe, let's spoon. I love it!

Phenylephrine: Ah, your nose bleeds are adorable (awkward silence if this is read out of context) - *hands you the softest tissues ever* - I'm glad you are enjoying the story! I love you dear!

Traceless-Poison: Hehe, -hides all sharp objects so you won't harm Ha'ri- I still have lots more to go (still haven't reached climax yet), so as long as I have enthusiastic readers, I will write! (p.s. I've seen stories with over 1 mil words… crazy… I won't go that far…) Shuji appeared, eh? Answering your wishes. ;) Yes, if you remember my words from the previous chapter there will be reason for a 'family' get together… hint: violent gardening. And yes, I'm female. :)

416 reviews, 48 followers, 37 favs, 19933 views!


	57. Chapter 57: Preparations

Warning: smut.

**Chapter 57: Preparations**

/

After a few final thrusts, he instantly stills – finishing inside me as he attains orgasm, his viselike hands clamping around my waist. His fingers will probably leave a mark, but somehow, I don't care and it's perfect. It's what I want, to feel his deepest need, his desire for me. _I did this to him_. A flurry of butterflies dip and dive around low in my stomach. I gather my wits and try to move off him, but his hands keep my grounded, as if he wants to savor the moment for a few moments longer. The pulsing at my core has diminished to small aftershocks; I can feel how full and engorged he is inside me. _Gods, _I can't get enough of him. When he finally lets go, his hands slide sensuously up the length of my ticklish body to my breasts and massages the sensitive flesh. When his thumb rubs my peaked nipples, I gasp in shock. I start to tingle all over and my fingers find purchase at the base of his neck, holding him like I would an anchor or the last standing tree during a vicious storm. I'm on cloud nine. As I arch back in ecstasy, his soft lips latch onto my nipple. The sensation of him sucking the pebbled skin drives me over the edge. Seeing me completely unravel - biting down on my lip _hard_so that I can't scream out - he flicks his tongues over the hard point – Hatori the tease! I am all at once angry (that I can lose my self-control this easily) and completely thrilled at this foreign feeling overwhelming me, sinking me into deep oblivion. _Way to turn bipolar, self_.

All too soon it starts to sting because my nipples are too sensitive. I cry out.

Reluctantly, Hatori's lips part from my achy breasts, and he helps me gather myself together and guide me over to the passenger seat without touching the gear shift. As I brush my sticky-with-sweat disheveled hair out of my face, I can hear the click of his belt as he fixes himself up too. I feel all sticky and wet between my legs. I've learned that sex is quite a messy ordeal. There is no such thing as a 'quickie.' Maybe for a guy, but most definitely not for a girl. I hope I can make a straight bee-line to my bathroom to clean myself up without seeing Shigure or Kyo. I'm not sure I can hide the satiation on my face. It is rather late, so I'm hoping that they're asleep.

When we arrive at the front of the house, Hatori turns off the ignition and the headlights. He turns towards me and says, "Good luck with exams. If you need _anything_, call or text me." He sounds so serious. Like it's the end of something important. He's all teacher, not lover.

I nod before placing a chaste kiss on his cheek and rushing out of the car before he can say anything else. It hurts too much. He can switch _it_ on and off so easily. From hot and heavy to cold and distant. But me, I'm a total and utter mess when it comes to him. I can't think straight when we're together – I'm irrational, forgetful, and reckless. If you were to ask me a basic math question during my awaiting orgasm, I don't think I could even answer it!

I don't think I can handle _not_seeing him for that long. Tonight has only solidified how much I wish we could just be together like a normal couple, hand-holding, sitting side-by-side at the library, whispering sweet nothings in each others ears. I'm a lovesick fool. I hope I can spare enough of my brain cells to study for next week's final exams.

Focus, self!

No more silly daydreaming!

/

"Tohru!"

I hear the short scuffle sound of Shigure's slippers on the floors as he comes into the kitchen. It's Friday night and I have a lot of cramming to do. I'm sitting at the kitchen table with all my books and notes scattered over the table. It looks like I'm being productive, but I'm really doing a whole bunch of nothing. I've been on page 19 for the past 20 minutes.

I turn toward him for a quick peek. He is dressed splendidly, like he's about to go to an extravagant party. Then again, he has a secret penchant for dress-up (like his cousin Ayame) even when he's lounging around the house. He comes up behind me, sending a chilling shiver down my spine, and whispers along the shell of my ear, "Guess what?"

Before waiting for me to respond, he answers animatedly, "Spring break is in two weeks and we're going to the villa!"

"Good for you!" I reply in a cheerful tone, though I'm not feeling it. I've been procrastinating for two days. I've been thinking about Hatori's lecture and all the nonsensical mushy stuff floating around in my brain. _Love_. To hell with that word! All it's done is brought my extremities!

"Good for _us_." He stresses.

"Huh?" I reply, dumbfounded.

He does a little finger gesture back and forth between our bodies.

"All of us? Even me?" I ask, astonished. I'm pointing to myself like a kindergarten that has just been caught stealing from the classroom's supply of snacks. This is very shocking news. I've never been invited before.

He pats my head and answers, "Akito's request, in fact. She wanted to see what our little flower did with the landscape in dire need of some TLC."

I shy away from his touch, feeling the warmth creep up my face. With this worrisome (and somewhat grateful) news, I need something to do – fast. I dart under his arm toward the kitchen sink to scrub away the charred bottom of an ill-fated pot Shigure used to make some late-night ramen.

Perfect distraction to hide my uneasiness.

"Is everyone going?"

"Yes, it's pretty much mandatory. Even Yuki's coming back for the week."

_Yuki_.

I'd almost forgotten about him.

Before, the mere mention of his name used to send me into a delirious excitement. But now, I only feel dread. Bane of my existence. Yes, I harbor some resentment toward him. Without even knowing, he's sent me into a personal hell: a slave to my bodily desires. It could have ended up disastrous. I could be dead right now. I could have been paired with a sadistic stranger, or turned away and essentially left for _dead_.

But for now, it's good. I'm taking things one step at a time. I feel safe. _Almost loFved_.

And seeing him will open up my entrenched wounds.

"I hope Yuki brings me home some American cheesecake from this place I love in Tokyo. I can't get enough of them – so creamy and yummy! I hinted it at him during our last phone call. I hope he brings me some! I am craving some blueberry cheesecake right now!"

I look back at Shigure with a wistful smile. "I can't wait."

_It doesn't matter that Hatori and I won't be alone. _

_I cherish the snapshot moments all the same_.

Maybe Kami is rewarding me for my patience.

After I finish with the dishes, I knock on Shigure's door. He opens up and looks down at me with a curious look. "What's up?"

"How long is the trip? When do we leave?"

"We're leaving Saturday morning. Akito's rented a bus for Hatori to drive us all there. Then, we return the following Sunday."

"That long?!" I ask. I'm not sure I can keep _it_ up for that long. This is going to be pure torture. A real test of endurance. To be with the one I love, but unable to actually _do_ anything. PDA. Public display of affection. Does that term even exist inside the boundaries of our so-called relationship? (Not that I'm a touchy-feely kind of girl who needs physicality to prove something to me, but it's still something that lingers at the edge of every girl's mind from watching all those dramas and reading all those mangas!) Or are we destined to be a secret? Something that exists, but only in darkness. Like some mushroom growing in the damp earth provided by an ever-present shade. Gods, my love of nature is even creeping into my self-doubt! I can't help it. This is my first relationship and I just don't want to ever end. I don't want it to be a dream. The fragility of it all, the delicate balance - passionate and all-consuming when we are alone, but also almost non-existent in society's eyes. Can it last? Can _we_ survive?

_Please_.

"Hello? Tohru, are you there?"

I snap out of my dark thoughts to see Shigure looking at me curiously, waving his hand in front of my line of vision.

"Yeah."

/

"Alright then. Do you want to make a trip to the supermarket to pick up supplies before Saturday since I believe we will all pray that you do the cooking?"

"Yeah, I can do that."

"I mean, I can help you go shopping. In fact, I'd like to."

"Uh, yeah, of course. We can go sometime next week after my two finals."

"Alright."

I leave his room, but not before I feel a spider tingle on my shoulders. It's a gentle touch. "Wait," he calls behind me with a soft rasp.

I turn around to face him, my mind still not functioning properly. I'm over-analyzing everything about this planned trip. What if Akito notices something is up? It's a week-long trip! This isn't just a weekend with sometimes scatterbrained, self-involved Shigure. It's with the _God_. The _all-seeing_ _God_. And despite Akito's "disguise", I know she has a sound woman's intuition.

His usually soft coffee-hued eyes are pitch black. He places his hand at the back of my waist, holding me close, less than a breath away. I can see the slightest flare of his nostrils - like he's taking in my scent. Dogs have a keen sense of smell, but why now? What makes me more special than usual? Why is he acting this way around me _now_?

He gives me an appraising look that makes me flush and bow my head. "Uh, bye." His fingers reach up to tuck a loose strand of my hair behind my ear before letting me go.

What the hell just happened?

/

It's struck midnight, and I'm tired out of my mind. It's Monday and my first final is tomorrow. I've been studying my ass off since last Friday night. After I spent 2 days dealing my PTSD - post-traumatic _separation_ disorder (self-diagnosed). _Please let it pay off so that I can have one less thing to worry about during spring break_.

/

After my second and last final on Thursday, I am completely and utterly exhausted. Once the bus drops me off, I feel ready to collapse into the closest leafy bush and sleep. My need for sleep outweighs my need for food. When I unlock the door into the house, I smell _yumminess_ and my tummy growls. "You're home!" Shigure says, clasping his hands together. He's standing at the entrance to the kitchen. There are several takeout boxes lining the countertop. He's bought dinner and set up! I notice a plastic plate, fork, and a small stack of napkins set out for one at the dinner table. For me.

I can't believe this. It's the first time he's done this. It can't be for me. No, it's probably just a coincidence. No one ever does nice things for me. I'm just a dust ball in the corner. Blended in. He probably didn't like the leftovers I left him (I've been really lazy with cooking this week… mostly steamed and baked stuff for simplicity) and went out to get something. Yeah, that's it.

He moves in close to me and ushers me onto a stool. "Come on and eat up. I got all your favorites – seafood medley, pork cutlet, sautéed pea sprouts, and steamed rice.

Did he seriously just get all my favorites? Wait, how does he even know? He's never asked…

He's noticed… me? Hid his face is perched in the small cradle of his hands at the other side of the counter watching me to see my reaction. Does he care?

I know my eyes are alight with greedy hunger. He puffs up his chest like a proud bird as if to say 'I knew it!'

_Why are you being so nice to me_?

/

A/N: 6.7.2013 - Really fun next few chapters (at least I hope so for you loveable girlies!) – spring break for 'em! Guesses as to what's gonna happen, anyone? Throw 'em at me! –catches in my mouth for breakfast-

And also, if you catch any of the *hints* I've left, leave a note! I will be sure to tell you if you've hit it on the nail! Succumb to your womanly intuition… :)

I'll be updating Saturday and Sunday!

Kouga's older woman: Hope spring break answers your request! :)

Mcangel1976: Thanks girly! Thankfully that girl shall not be back. (But maybe reincarnated as other 'female students'… haha story is about the get _weird_. Jk jk)

Infinity1: Always love your reviews! I don't have a 'detailed' plan, per say, more like *key points* I want to include for the overall arc. But I have had the 'climax' brewing for quite some time now. –evil laughter- fangirl-ing for H's swingy bangs, eh? -joins you- I rarely see that hairstyle for men? It's usually short or that all-covering-the-forehead-using-massive-amounts-of -gel/other products. Nothing hangs, it's all like _glued_. o.O

Traceless-Poison: Prepare your heart for the flood of angst in a few chapters! Shuji, I'm in love with him!

Winter star light: Thanks girl!

Phenylephrine: Hehe, you're too cute with the flood-like drools. Totally love the cliché of man-whore *changing* his ways for a girl. –sighs-

Tsukiakage: Hahaha, omg, I loved your dream – triggered a scene in my mind as well. S, we may not want u to snatch T away from H, but we do need you for entertainment value. Wink, wink!

Kris11993: Shuji the mystery! Animal science sounds so cool! Any hands-on labs? Hot profs…the importance of looks... so sad. Glad you catch my references. Makes me squee! :)

Courtbles58: Thanks for coming out of the shadows, my dear! It means a lot that to me that you've reviewed!

Joflower: Score! One of my goals is to always 'convert' non-shippers! YAH – mission successful! Glad you've joined the dark side, nah, just kidding. :)

426 reviews, 51 followers, 40 favs, 21056 hits.

Sidenote: I've noted slightly more hits, but a lower reviews/hit ratio. *double-sided sword* more ppl, but maybe they no likie. :(


	58. Chapter 58: The Bet

**Chapter 58: The Bet**

/

_Lazy Friday morning_. I let out of a sigh of relief that finals are over. I look forward to the next week (uh, kinda). With steely determination to clean up the house (before our l-o-n-g vacation), I rise from my bed and head downstairs. My mood is much better than yesterday evening's, but I haven't forgotten Shigure's strange behavior. The putting-my-hair-behind-my-ear, the _sniffing _me. _Cough_, so weird. I'm hoping to avoid him today. Fat chance. We're going shopping for groceries today. And we're the only two people in the house.

As I'm multitasking in the kitchen – poaching eggs, spreading toast with strawberry jam, and cutting up some honeydew, I hear a litany of wince-worthy profanities come from the direction of Shigure's bedroom. I rush over with worry, wiping my grubby hands on my apron.

What I see is Shigure standing and shaking himself like a dog soaked with rain. "What's wrong?" I ask, worriedly.

"I knocked my inkpot over!"

I look down and see the long black rivulets of ink cascading down his grey yukata. The ink that manages to reach the bottom hem of his yukata threatens to fall onto the hardwood floor. They are like early morning dew drops hanging from a blade of grass. Nooo, it'll ruin the precious floors!

"Take it off and roll it up in a ball!" I shout out in a hurry.

"Huh?"

"Take it off!"

"Well, if you insist." He says with a quick shrug, stripping off the loose-fitting material and rolling it with the soiled side on the inside. My line of vision is low, making sure nothing falls on the floor, because I _will_ dive for it – I'm hoping the '5 second rule' applies to wiping ink of hardwood. Haa.

Luckily, nothing befalls the beautiful teak wood. Shigure's standing in front of me in his silky black briefs, in his nude glory.

I reach for the clothing in his outstretched hands before turning away hastily. I can't deal with _this_ right now.

/

We are silent throughout breakfast. Shigure has changed into a new yukata. It's black covered with a disarray of small white sparrows. Each is meticulously embroidered. It looks beautiful and reeks of luxury (and wealth). I'm a little jealous.

"So, when are we going shopping?"

"How about in the afternoon, after lunch? I have to clean up the house before we leave for a week. I've been procrastinating for a while."

"_For a while_, you mean a week. That's nothing in laymen's terms. It looks clean to me."

"Looks can be deceiving. You don't want to come back to trails of ants all over, do you?"

"Alright, you win, Thoreau. I don't want to hear you go on about ants. But seriously, don't tire yourself out. After what you looked like last night, you really need your rest before this vacation. I don't want you to get sick and miss out on all the fun." _I have planned_.

"Don't worry. I'm strong." I reply, clenching my fists in a half-hearted attempt to flex my muscles.

He laughs at me mockingly before bringing his finished dishes to the sink.

"Laters."

/

_After lunch_.

"What are you looking for?" Shigure says behind me with exasperation.

"I know there was a bag here somewhere." I'm trying to find the seventh recyclable grocery bag. We're going to need as many as possible.

"Is this the one you are talking about?" I turn around and see the elusive bag in his hands. I'm grinning like a silly fool over it. "I knew it was here somewhere! Thanks!"

We lock the doors behind us and walk toward the bus stop.

"What are you thinking about?" Shigure asks me.

He's probably noticed the lost-in-thought look on my face.

"No-nothing."

"Hatori?"

"Whaaa? No. _No_. Why do you say that?" _Oh Kami, I haven't given us away, have I_? Stupid, stupid me! I really need to wipe the stupid love-sick look off my face. Everyone probably knows! I need a ski mask for this trip!

"Just a guess. 'Cuz I'm thinking about him too. I wish he could give us a lift there. I'd make things much easier."

"You d-don't have to come with me, if you don't want to. I'm fine by myself." _In fact, it give me much needed time to think, consolidate my feelings, get things 'organized' before the vacation_.

"I want to. _I want to influence your decision_." He looks over at me curiously. "In the food we are bringing to the villa."

His words. Why do I feel like it means much more than he's letting on?

/

As we're walking to the largest supermarket in the city, we pass by an expensive department store. My eyes drift off to the window display with curiosity. I'm not really into 'fashion' but I do like to 'occasionally browse' to see the latest trends. Sometimes I conform, other times I laugh. I'm surprised to see Shigure's sparrow yukata on a female mannequin. I really like it. It reminds me of something I've seen before. Déjà vu. But where?

The ever-perceptive dog beside me notices my slow down in pace and backtracks a little. "Why admire it there when you can admire it here?" He says, nudging my cheek to look at him. His other hand is slightly cupped upward and moving up and down his body, showcasing himself.

"It's really pretty, I mean handsome on you. I know guys don't like to hear the word _pretty_."

He emits a soft chuckle, before nodding to accept my compliment without any hesitation. As we start up our walk again, I suddenly feel his hand wrapped around mine. My fingers clench immediately. I'm distrusting. A habit developed over the years of being _independent_.

My eyes shoot up to his taller form. He's looking straight ahead, mask in place.

I try to relax my hand, but I think it's a little too late. He instead takes away the recyclable bags from me. "I'll hold them." He says offhandedly.

/

"Oh my god, look at this eggplant. It's shaped so strangely, like a gun." I peer over his side to see him wielding the eggplant like a weapon. I pretend that he's shot me and stumble backwards, with my hands clutching my 'wound.' I stumble into a woman's shopping cart and she shoots me a harsh look. I bow and apologize sincerely.

I try to forget the mishap ever happened and vow never to attempt something so silly again. Especially in public. But Shigure won't let me forget. He murmurs softly beside me, "Klutz."

"Sorry for the embarrassment of being around me."

"No. I thoroughly enjoyed it."

"_Tease_."

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." Shigure recites from Harry Potter, raising his hand in a pledge.

I smack his shoulder lightly.

"Natto, are you serious?" Shigure says, with a disgusted look on his face as he peers over my shoulder to see the container I'm holding.

"What?" I reply, with a deadpan look on my face.

"Smells like shit. Taste like shit."

I shrug, objecting to his cruel description of the misunderstood food. "Taste good. Especially over rice or toast. I'm sure the others will agree with me."

"Wanna bet?" He says, swiping his finger under my jaw enticingly. "See if two people agree with you."

"Fine. What's at stake?" Two can play this game! I'm a risk taker in all other aspects, why not in a harmless little game like this?

He ponders for a moment, a small flame alight in his dark eyes. "If I win, there is only one thing I want."

"And what might that be? I don't exactly have anything you don't have…"

"A kiss."

"Sure, a kiss on your hand. That's fine by me." I reply promptly. I'm trying to speak in a joking manner, but I can feel the dead seriousness creep in.

"No. A kiss on my lips." He replies, pointing to his moist red lips – full and pouty and sensual. It induces hot flashes for women over the age of… 18. _But not this girl. _

_This girl's heart has been taken._

_Or so she likes to hope. The dark part of me says smugly. But is it really you? Or just the potion?_

"Uh…" I say, my eyes darting all over the aisle, everything suddenly becoming overwhelming large and looming – like I'm Alice in Wonderland trapped in a fantasy world. My brain isn't functioning right now.

He steps in close to me. I can feel his citrus-scented breath float over my face. "Only one thing." His voice is low and hoarse.

"Then-then I want a week worth of dish-washing from you."

"Deal." He says quickly, as if I might retract from our little bet.

I've just made a deal with the devil over some natto.

/

"Two heads of napa cabbage, three bunches of green onion, 10 loose carrots." Shigure insists on being 'helpful' and 'proactive' in this process, so he wants to gather the vegetables. I'm standing back and letting him do his thing. After a moment searching for a pleasing-looking cabbage, he lifts one up hopefully to me. I motion for him to spin it around, which he does. I shake my head, warranting his pitiful pout. "Why?"

"Look at that side."

He spins it around before unceremoniously dropping it back in the crate it found it in. "Worm got to it." I say.

"My worst nightmare. Maybe I'm simply no good at this shopping thing."

"You're not _not_ good at it. You need practice. This is probably like your first time in a supermarket of your own free will, right?"

"Hmmm," he deliberates before shaking his head vigorously. "Yes."

"See, that napa in your hands right now looks promising."

He spins it around eagerly, like a young child looking for recognition, and with a satisfied nod, he throws it in the basket like it's a basketball. "Score!" He says, before running around in a dizzying circle around me.

He's so childish. It's really cute and endearing. It's a side of him I rarely see.

It's really sweet that that he wanted to come shopping with me.

Maybe he'll become a longtime grocery-shopping companion.

_At least he can. Unlike a certain someone else._

/

In the checkout line, when the final bill comes up and I'm about to swipe my credit card, Shigure brushes my hand away and swipes his platinum card. Whaaa? Not really sure when he carries his wallet (in one of the many 'folds' of his garment), but he's swift, like a wily fox. After the young boy finishes bagging up out groceries, I give Shigure a shifty glance. "Humpff." I announce immaturely.

"You don't think I can allow you to pay for _all_ the food that _we're_ going to be eating, do you?"

"I'll be eating too!" I assert.

"Yeah, like barely. The amount of food you intake doesn't even count. We're the majority, and it's rude of us to not pay. You're just a student. The rest of us have trust funds and inheritance."

"Spoiled git."

"A git who knows how to treat a woman."

My only thoughts are: _why now_? It's the same question I've been asking myself for weeks. Why is anything different now?

/

"Wait right here."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna go something. I promise you need it. Take a break. You look exhausted. You face is as red as a strawberry."

I lean back against the cool wall, melting into the bench. It's hard, but my aching body isn't judging. All the grocery bags are scattered around my legs. I close my eyes for a moment. Just a moment.

"Hey sleepyhead."

My weary eyes dart open and look around. How long as it been. I feel for my purse and look down at the groceries. Phew, everything looks to be in place.

Shigure has two colorful looking drinks in his hand.

"Fruity drinks were in order. I got you strawberry lemonade and pomegranate green tea for me."

He has a bag clasped tightly under his arm. Was it there before? Probably went to buy some more tasty snacks for the trip, because I kind of limited him for his health's sake. (He literally wanted everything – from dried fish snacks, to every flavor of chips, to taro and melon flavored ice pops.) I swear if I wasn't here to stop him, he wouldn't have the body he has now! And then the image of him nude pops into my head.

Darn.

/

"_I have a confession to make. I think I'm in love with you_."

Shigure's voice is clear as bell. I keep my eyes closed, willing it away. This can't be happening. I can't stomach it.

When I finally open my eyes, I find out I am alone, drenched in my own sweat.

/

_It's gonna be a long week_.

I'm already having panic attacks.

/

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this installment (I planted some seeds here, muwhaha; don't forget to come back to read this chapter for a refresher for the next coupla chappies)! What's Shigure playing at? Especially since he knows H's feelings now!

*Natto is pungent fermented soybean that looks web-y with strands when you try to separate the beans. Definitely check it out! It's supposed to be slimy, nutty, salty, foul-smelling. I saw it on the show _Bizarre Foods_. (p.s. I love that show!)

How many of you are adventurous food eaters?

Mystery newcomer in next chapter? Ya'll ready?

Arabella Whitlock: Ooo, me likie your guess. :) Reveal coming soon!

Savethesalmon: Great 2 hear from ya girl! I love travel. You get H and S for the price of on story… hehe! I wonder who's trip will be better – Tohru or yours? Hehe.

Mcangel1976: Shigure is such a player. I'd still fall under his charm though. –ah, sad- Good guess girl. Great minds think alike.

Miaboo011: Haha, so cute. –hands you mini stop sign to smack S with when he's acting out of line-

Tsukiakage: I know, so hot! -fans us- Your wish is my command.

Phenylephrine: We're definitely seeing a different side of S. Yuki is back! Get ready! Hehe about sweet smut. Hehe. Love you!

Traceless-Poison: Yup. :)

Kouga's older woman: Very good question you brought up – what are his _true_ intentions?

434 reviews, 51 followers, 41 favs, 21433 views.

Random bit: Now the story has surpassed the length of PMLT. AHHH!


	59. Chapter 59: Family Affair

**/ LONG 3K CHAPTER. ENJOY!**

**Chapter 59: Family Affair**

/

_Saturday morning_

Kyo, Shigure and I are standing on the porch waiting for Hatori to pick us up. I have my floppy sunhat on my head, fastened securely under my chin. I'm very nervous to see Akito. No amount of sleep or "happy thoughts" could put me at ease last night. I don't want to be the object of her disapproval and wrath, so I've thought of everything that might trigger _anything_. I'm a thorn at her side. Stuck there. _Buried_. This last week has been hectic – from stressful finals to mental preparations for this trip. Unlike other trips where I only have to pack, on this one, I have to be cautious of everything I say/do. It's more of an assignment than a relaxing trip.

But I'm not gonna let it rain on my parade. I can see Hatori!

I'm wearing a pair of navy cargo pants and a long-sleeve white-and-grey stripped polo shirt buttoned up to my neck. I'm all wrapped up. Very... unisex. I hope it gets Akito's approval. I've heard bits and pieces of Akito hating women who flaunt their bodies (calling it a _sin_), and even though my wardrobe has none of _that_, I want to play on the safe side. None of my usual floral, ultra-girly stuff. Back to the basics. It's sweltering and humid, and I can feel sweat building up under my basic cotton bra. Ugh. We've only been outside (and in the shade, no less!) for ten minutes and I'm already melting. Shigure has his trusty backpack (surprising that he's packed so lightly _again_ when he has the largest wardrobe of any man I've ever seen... he probably has a stash of clothing at the villa!). Kyo has his tatty duffel bag which he mainly uses to hold his dojo clothing, towels, stuff. It has a bunch of Street Fighter stickers and iron-on patches on it. Kyo is muttering about how he has to see the 'dreaded washed-up rat' again, and how peaceful things have been without him. I beg to differ, since he is usually the trigger to their arguments. I hope that the phrase 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' can work its magic this week. As I listen to Kyo's not-so-inner musings, I start to reminisce how it will be when I see Yuki for the first time in months.

Gods, as if I don't have enough on my plate! This is like a terrible version of 'Game of Life' where I keep on landing on 'negative life altering' squares. One after another.

Finally, I see a yellow "short" school bus round the edge of the property. I rub my eyes to make sure I'm not seeing things. Uh, did the school bus take a wrong turn somewhere?

But as it gets closer, I can see Hatori's figure behind the big window. The pale white sheet of his face. Not the most flattering description, but true. He doesn't look so good. Grave. Not like he's driving to load of excited family members, but a hearse. This isn't a heat-induced mirage, right? When it gets closer, I can see that it is covered with colorful graffiti. Wow. Just _wow_. Where did they find that?

"What the hell?" Kyo says in an exasperated tone. "Throwback to primary school." He mutters apathetically. I'm shocked myself. Having lived with the Sohmas for all these years, I know that they don't spare any expense. I would have expected a sleek black bus or something. Or at least something with A/C. Not a worn yellow school bus.

When the doors open with a whoosh of air, Hatori comes down the steps. He gestures for us to follow him to the back of the bus where he opens the dual doors. "Throw your luggage up here," he says, standing on the bumper of the bus, holding onto the high bar for support. The mother hen in me wants to warn him to be careful up there! But I keep my mouth shut. Don't want to draw attention to myself. Grrr. Barely two minutes in, and I'm already struggling. I point toward the numerous grocery bags sitting on the porch and Hatori leaves the bus and rushes over to retrieve them. I trail behind to help. After everything is loaded (twelve bags full, our luggage, plus a hefty watermelon), the four of us climb aboard. I can feel Hatori's eyes on me, but I avoid eye contact. Akito is sitting in the second row. She manages to look calm and collected despite wearing a thick black yukata in this heat. Her hands are crossed defensively over her chest as she watches me clumsily haul myself up the steps. I keep my head down, not wanting to appear too excited or nervous. _No extremes, Tohru_. I know 'emotions' are another thing Akito doesn't like.

Just blend in.

And breathe.

I find a seat next to Kisa, who is wearing a cute cap with perky ears. How fitting for her Zodiac animal. She is adorable as ever, wearing a pretty polka dot dress and red Converse hi tops. She's wearing her shoulder-length hair down and it's swinging from side to side as she sways to the music she's listening to. She's the perfect combination of sweet and edgy in her appearance.

Kyo moves to the back of the bus grumpily and takes up a whole row. He opted to not put his luggage in the back because he said he didn't want his belongings "thrown" around. He puts on his headphones and drifts off into his own world.

"Why are you dressed like that?" Kisa says, removing her earbuds. She's eyeing my _different_ ensemble peculiarly.

"Oh, I just don't want to get sunburned," I reply with a small throat clearing. She gives me a strange 'okay then' look but doesn't push further.

As I look around the bus, I see the usual faces (or back of their heads since I'm sitting behind them)- Hiro, Hatsuharu, Momiji, Momo, Ayame, Kagura, Kureno. I'm surprised to see Mine and a woman I don't recognize. The woman is sitting by herself and looking out the window pensively. I can't see her face that well. Outsiders coming on the trip? Was Akito changing her "rules"? I am quite relieved that I won't be the only one. "Where's Yuki?" I blurt out.

"Hatori's going to pick him up in the city. He missed his bus yesterday." Kisa answers accordingly.

"Oh.

So, what are we going to do at the villa? I mean, what the usual?"

"There's lots of stuff. It's an annual thing, usually Yuki plans it - has us play team games indoors and outdoors, go hiking, explore the vast countryside, swimming, and stuff, but since he's been so busy with his new job and all, I'm not really sure who organized the whole event. I'm pretty surprised it's your first time. I always wondered why you weren't invited since you are basically a part of this family." She gives me a beaming smile and wraps her arms around my shoulders for a side-hug. "I'm so happy you're here."

I give her a tight squeeze back. It's really amazing how one little hug can wash away some of my anxieties. I'm totally at ease when Yuki boards the bus. And then it all comes rushing back like a backlogged toilet. Ugh. "What's up with the yellow school bus?" He asks loudly to Hatori. I can see Hatori's lips moving, but I'm too far away to hear him. Grrr. I'd like to know the answer to that one too. This is an odd choice of transportation. I can see the people at the transit center eyeing our interesting vehicle. Yuki smiles to everyone, and if I'm not mistaken (or thoroughly daydreaming), his eyes linger on me longer that the others. "You look well, Tohru." He says with a charming smile. Gosh, I'm such a _girl_. He makes his way to the back of the bus, a few seats in front of Kyo. My heart doesn't palpitate the way it would have, say, one year ago.

We chat about casual stuff the whole drive there – from our favorite actors to the tasty foods we've been craving. Shigure, who is sitting behind us, chimes in at some occasions, fueling our muffled laughter. We both know not to go overboard because the 'God' is onboard.

It's about ten o'clock when Hatori turns into the familiar narrow road. As the gates to the villa are cranking open, my anxiety returns. I really hope it's to everyone's approval - the landscape and the cleaning inside. I feel like it's a reflection of me.

Immediately after Akito gets off the bus, she makes her way toward the doors. With her long, draped yukata skimming the ground, it looks as if she's gliding across the driveway effortlessly. Floating on water. It's pretty eerie and I look around to see if anyone else notices. Nope. Only me. Maybe because I rarely see her so I'm unfamiliar with all her quirks. As she's searching her nondescript black bag for the keys, Momo rushes to the rose bushes that are in full bloom. They have grown into a beautiful blood red color. I see a flurry of yellow rush past me. "Don't touch!" I see Momiji pulling Momo's hands away from touching the roses.

"Be careful. Roses are beautifully, but also dangerous. See, they have thorns. They could have pricked you. You could have been hurt."

I can see the bottom of Momo's lips quivering, as Momiji gathers her up in his arms like the loving brother that he is. "Oh Momo, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout at you. Just be careful, okay?"

I can see her wrapped around her brother's neck like a little monkey, a cheeky grin spreading across her pretty face.

Little kids forget so easily.

He ruffles her hair lovingly before setting her down on the pavement. Shigure, carrying a watermelon in his hands says, "Let's go in, shall we?"

We follow him into the house, where Akito is already carefully inspecting the house, like some modern-day Sherlock Holmes. I see her swipe the side table beside the sofa. She doesn't say anything, which I'm hoping is a good sign. "Wow, it's clean in here!" Says a loud Shigure. His voice seems to echo throughout the house, since everyone else is silent. Akito moves into the kitchen and starts to open up the cabinets and drawers. I signal for everyone who's helping me with the groceries to set the food in the kitchen. As Akito moves off into the bedrooms, I start to unpack the paper bags. "Kyo, can you go back to the car to check for the soy sauce. I don't see it anywhere."

He nods and heads out. A tap on my shoulder makes me jump. When I turn around to see only Shigure, I clutch my chest in relief. "You scared me."

"You're a little jumpy today, aren't you?" He teases, lifting my chin up to look directly into his piercing dark eyes. He's got to stop doing this to me!

"Yeah," I murmur under my breath as I bend down to collect the two cartoons of eggs.

I hear an 'I'm thirsty' from the living room, and I immediately dig out the plastic cups for drinks. I pour Evian water (Akito's insistence) into 6 cups and orange juice into 6 cups, giving them a choice. I run to the fridge in the garage to get some ice.

"Everyone, please come to the hallway, I will discuss sleeping arrangements for the week."

"Yuki, Momiji, Hiro, Hatsuharu, and Kyo in that bedroom."

"Kagura, Kisa, Momo, Tohru." She gestures to the room with the paper cranes creation - the room I slept in my first night.

"Ayame and Mine." The last word is barely audible. Not sure it that's her intention.

"Hatori and Kiyomi." My face blanches, but I maintain a false, unaffected smile.

"I will sleep in that space."

"Kureno will sleep there."

"Uh, where will I sleep?" Says a peevish Shigure with his hand raised.

"Doesn't matter." Akito snaps back, as if someone has interrupted her important speech. The other girls and I gather our belongings and lug them into the bedroom. Kisa exclaims, "I'm glad the cranes are still here!"

"Pwetty." Momo says, trying to touch the lowest crane in the chain. Seeing her struggle, I immediately walk up behind her and lift her up so that she can get a closer look at the cranes. She touches them gently.

"Momo, would you like it if Tohru-chan and I taught you how to make one?"

Momo nods eagerly, her gap-toothed smile lighting up the room. "Yes, pwease."

"So, how are we doing this?" Kagura says roughly. "I want this wall. I hate sleeping without a wall next to me."

"Sure," I reply cheerfully. I know Kagura doesn't particularly like me, so I'll try to stay out of her hair as much as possible.

"Tohru, is it okay if I take this wall? And then Momo can sleep right between us." Momo is nodding enthusiastically in my arms, making me giggle. "Sounds perfect."

We go to the closet to retrieve our fresh bedding material and start to set up the area. Momo is a great helper, grabbing the other edges of the coverlet and airing it out with me before setting it down perfectly. "Fwuffy clouds." She announces, patting the edge of the covers. She still has the endearing speech impediments as when I first met her. It makes my heart soar and my mouth twist into a happy smile.

"Hey girls, can I sleep here tonight? Nobody else wants me." Shigure is standing with a slight hunch in his back and a sad pout on his face. Kagura rolls her eyes, as if she heard that before. "Fine, whatever."

But Shigure isn't looking at her for approval. He's looking straight at me. I point to myself stupidly and he nods. "Uh, yeah, sure." I guess... anything to throw Akito off our scent. I guess allowing that the other girl to sleep with Hatori is another decoy. Yet... why does it make me burn with jealousy? What is that about? Who is she? Why do I feel so numb despite the love surrounding me in the form of Kisa and Momo? And why did Akito put them two together? Does Kiyomi know Hatori? I want to straight up ask the family gossip Ayame, but it'll definitely put me on the radar. BAAAAAAA! I'm stuck. I'm just hoping someone reveals her identity and purpose here!

"So, what are you making for lunch?" Kisa asks, trailing behind me to the garage to put the extra food supplies there. "Good question. Do you have any cravings or requests? I know you always eat the best at the estates, and my cooking most likely will not live up to that, but I'll try..."

"Yeah right. We all love your cooking. You should hear the rest of them at meals. Especially Hiro. Even though he likes to say it in a really scary manner, like 'I friggin hate eating this freaky gourmet wannabe stuff, I want to eat _real_food, like Tohru's' - he's praising you. Your cake for Momiji's birthday was delicious. We all scarfed it down. At the estates we're only served angel food cake, which I hate because it's so dry. Bleh." Kisa makes a silly face which has me in a fit of giggles.

"Thanks for the flattery. Makes me feel much better about myself." I reply with a chuckle.

I see the boys in the living room hooking up the gaming consoles. Typical boys.

My face drains when I see Hatori and the girl in the adjacent loveseat. This is my first time getting a really good look at her. Her hair is short and cropped around her small face. Her features are small and delicate and she's not wearing any makeup. She's wearing a modest, yet stylish shirt dress rolled up to her elbows. I look away, trying to hide the disappointment in my face. Quick, I know I packed some onions somewhere! I need a cover.

As the two of us girls are slicing and dicing the ingredients for lunch (I'm handling the raw meat because Kisa says she can't look at it in _that_ state), all I can dwell on is _them_. Kisa's sweet voice is mere white noise.

Kiyomi approaches me and asks, "Do you need any help?"

I quickly shake my head. "No, we're alright here. Thanks for asking though."

At lunch, the non-gamers are seated around the dining table. Luckily Akito is sitting on the same side as me and can't see my face. Thank goodness I can relax for a moment. Ayame and Yuki are the conversation starters. It's surprising that despite how much they claim they hate each other - they are very similar. They are both kindhearted and the 'life of the party.'

Kiyomi is grateful and complimentary toward the meal Kisa and I have prepared.

A particular thread of conversation piques my interest. The moment of truth. _Deep breath, Tohru_.

"So, what brings you here, Kiki? We haven't seen you in a long time."

"Yeah, I've been studying aboard."

The small talk piques my interest. But everyone is tight-lipped about the whole thing.

After lunch, I seek out the Sohma gossip, Ayame. He responds, "One of the Sohma men had a brief relationship with an equally wealthy widow socialite with a young daughter. He doted on them as if they were a real family. Unfortunately, before he could claim them as his own, the Sohma and the woman were killed in a car crash leaving behind the eight year old daughter. Under their will, she was sent to a boarding school in New Hampshire in America. Since we're the only "family" she's got, she and the Sohmas have been tied, ever since. She used to come with us to the villa during all the holidays, until she went to university."

"How old is she?" I ask, trying to appear nonchalant.

"She would be - let me see... twenty-four. Since there aren't really any Sohmas her age - either the Mubadachi trio or the younger generation, she would hang out with the three of us mostly." _Oh Gods_, the perfect age for Hatori. And single too? It's a match made in Heaven.

"Our mysterious Akito seems to have her eyes set on her." Ayame said with a full-body shudder. "I don't want to know what she has in mind. She's the sweetest girl despite her unconventional childhood. It would be terrible to see something unkind happen to her."

/

A/N: 6.13.2013 - How do you feel about Kiyomi?

ArabellaWhitlock: Very hot request. I can totally picture it. :)

Phenylephrine: S = hot, but with unknown intentions. This is gonna be crazy "basket." Very good questions about our Miss Kiyomi. If you look _deep_ into her name... I've said too much. :)

Tsukiakage: GURE! Luv him. So persistent too.

Kris11993: _Take it off_ – S so eager to strip! Typical! If it were *completely* up to him, they'd play a game of "house" locked in the little bungalow on the property. The "cough" just signifies awkwardness. But illness… hmmm… I like the way u think. The bet will come into play soon! Tohru definitely played it safe. That's why S was so quick to accept it on those terms. T should have asked for a 3some to satisfy our fangirlyness. You've heard of natto too? YAY! Love you too girly! Let Lustbound live long and prosper. – I feel a salute coming on. :)

Miaboo011: Hehe, not a big fan of Mr. Aggressive, eh? -sits back to watch you chase after him with a stop sign-

Mcangel1976: Seriously, Tohru is too optimistic in thinking she will win. Tsk. Will T putting off telling S to "GO AWAY" be problematic? Hmmm.

Joflower: Glad you liked that line! :3

Lovetta Dream: HELLO NEWBIE. Thanks for catching up! I'm so glad you are stalking! -squee- Scents… good call… we'll see…

Joscollia: cool username newbie! Thanks! U make me happy! Keep in touch!

Inifinity1: HELLO! Hahaha, not liking the SxT interaction, eh? S has the freedom to do as he pleases while H is helpless – locked in the prison that is the estates. Shuji is important. He's a fixture in this story. _Girls may come and go, but Shuji is forever_. Haha. VERY GOOD question about the climax. YES, for sure you will know when it hits. It's totally scandalous (if I may say so myself… hehehe). Sorry about the shiznit girl. Hope things are okay.

Where are my dears – May96, Winter star light, Duckie, SolemnPassive, onebluefairy, Warrichan, alwayskougacola? Miss ya!

If summer break has come for you, YAH… FREEDOM! WOOT. Cartwheels. Happy dance.

444 reviews, 55 followers, 45 favs, 22273 views.


	60. Chapter 60: Midnight Dip

/ Sorry dearies for the month-long delay! Lost everything on my old laptop. -wails- :( Re-written and hopefully better - wink wink. Thank you for all your lovely reviews that always cheer me up! Enjoy!

**Chapter 60: Midnight Dip**

I return into the house feeling numb all over after hearing Ayame's comment about Akito's intent. Trying to find some semblance of sanity after his chilling words, I sit down besides the rambunctious boys in the living room. With the volume of their video game at full blast, I can't hear myself think. And right now, it is the best thing. I don't want to think about what this new knowledge means to my precarious relationship with Hatori. If it was balancing on a tightrope before, it is now gripping onto the same rope with one hand. Fuck. Does Hatori have any idea about Akito? Does he think anything is up? A la the sleeping arrangements? Everything seems to point in that direction.

Will this week-long stay leave me as battered and drained as the survivors in the post-apocalyptic zombie video game The Last of Us that the boys are playing?

I'm a mess.

I'm alone.

And across the living room, I see them. It's painful to witness the natural interactions between them. It looks like a reunion of two friends afraid to admit that there is something more between them. I'm torn. Heartbroken. Completely and utterly stifled in this beautiful house, among these beautiful creatures.

I rush out. I've learned that I'm quite petty when it comes to love.

I want all of his attention.

And I can't stand watching them.

I feel like I'm the outsider peeking in on their intimate moment.

/

After taking a long breath on the porch, I make my way around the side of the house to retrieve a broom from the shed. I'm hoping menial outdoor labor will occupy my mind. As I'm sweeping up the last of the gingko leaves scattered along the stone pathway, I hear Yuki's gentle voice behind me. "Are you alright?" It startles me, causing me to jump back in shock. When I look back, his eyes meet mine and search them ruthlessly, like Voldemort using Occumulency on Harry Potter. As if he can skim my emotions and use them against me, or as a new component in an elixir. Where did this cynicism come from? I turn away and mumble, "Yeah."

"You don't look so good. Maybe you should go inside and get a drink."

I want to scream at him. It's all your fault! Why didn't you care earlier? Like last year? Before I let myself drink some stupid love potion and end up pining after a guy with so many secrets and barriers that I'll never be able to get through fast enough?

"I'm fine." I enunciate firmly.

Not backing down, he reaches down for the broom handle and pulls it away from me. "I'll do it. Go inside and take a break," He says in his soft Yuki tone. The one that can melt the meanness away from anyone. I am no exception. Feeling powerless (and extremely tired as he so easily picked up from my deposition), I scuffle back into the house through the back door. I tiptoe into the room I share with the other girls and fall into a restless nap. All I can think of is Hatori and Kiyomi. And what will come of the sleeping arrangements.

I wake up to a small nudge on my shoulder. Kisa is kneeling beside me and looking at me with a big crooked grin. "Wake-y, wake-y."

I rise up from the bed and immediately reach for my head to stop the dizzy spinning. "We ordered pizza." She says cheerfully.

"What? I was supposed to cook dinner and I've failed again and -"

"Calm down Tohru. You seems out of sorts today. It's okay to take a day off you know. We all love pizza, don't we?" With a wink she rises and beckons me out of the room. Robotically, I follow after her.

There are four boxes of pizza laid out on the circular dining table and everyone is gathered in a queue. I see Kagura manning the "buffet" style setting and gently smacking those who attempt to take more than two slice their first time around. She's holding a pair of tongs like a weapon, snapping them like lobster pinchers. When I reach the table, I pick out two slices of my favorite pizza - nicknamed by myself 'Triple P Galore' - Pineapple, Pepperoni, and Pepper (the non-spicy green bell peppers of course). I'm surprised it's on the table. Who thought of little old me?

This gesture cheers me up a little.

I find a seat beside Kisa, Momo, and Momiji who are huddled around a coffee table looking at an iPad.

"What are you guys looking up?" I ask curiously.

"We're trying to find something fun to do here. Since we don't want to be stuck indoors with these boring cave-men for the next week. Supposedly these mountains are filled with secrets." Momiji says in a conspiratorial voice which makes my heart quicken. The two words 'secret adventure' pop up in my head. It sounds like fun and definitely something to get my mind off of him.

Or more specifically them.

"Ooo, look, there's a haikyo!"

"What's that?" Momo asks her older brother, tugging on his sleeves.

"Haikyo are abandoned places - anything from amusement parks to love hotels to palaces. Lots of them are well-preserved, but others have been ravaged by time and vandals. The one supposedly in the mountains over there is an old schoolhouse."

"Scwool, scwool!" Momo says cheerfully, bouncing up and down in her seat. Momiji puts his index finger to his lip to indicate a secret and Momo immediately hushes up. A pink blush creeps over her cheeks.

"Sounds like fun." Kisa adds. "Who else should we let in on the secret?"

"If I could have it, no one else. Can we all keep a secret?" Momiji says in a quiet, proprietary tone.

The three of us nod. "Then let's do some more research and plan for later this week."

/

After watching a game show in the other room, we are all tired and ready for bed. After a shower, I braid my hair loosely and go to sleep. I lie awake, thinking. I'm drained by all of my negative thoughts, but I'm not sleepy. As long as Hatori isn't by my side, I can't rest.

I'm not myself.

/

"Psst."

Huh? Is there a pesty fly in my nightmare?

"Psst."

I open one eye lazily and see Shigure kneeling beside me. His eyes are wide and clear. Not sleepy and listless like mine. I rub them to make sure I'm not seeing things. I look over at the digital clock glowing in the corner and it reads 12:19. Why is he waking me up now, from my tormenting dreams of Hatori abandoning me?

"We're going on a secret hike."

"Now?"

"Yes. The older bunch of us are outside. It's organized by our resident curmudgeon, Kyo. He hasn't told as any details and he's being so very secret about it. So it must be worth something."

"But it's so dark outside."

"Full moon. C'mon, it'll be fun."

I get out of bed silently and make my way for my backpack before Shigure taps me gently on the shoulder and whispers, "You don't need anything but yourself."

Outside on the porch, I see the ragtag group of Sohmas and outsiders dressed it rumpled pajamas and shorts. Yet they still look beautiful with their little cowlicks and fading red prints on their faces from pressing against the bed linens in an awkward position. On another note, ouch, I never thought I'd be using the word outsider so negatively. After all, I'm the biggest outsider here.

I see Yuki, Kyo, Hatsuharu, Kagura, Ayame, Mine, Hatori, and lastly, Kiyomi (who is of course standing right next to Hatori). Much to my relief, I don't see Akito.

We begin the trek to the "secret" spot. It's in the same direction as the mountains behind the house. We're lucky to have the moon shining bright and bold low in the sky, lighting our dirt path. I play a little game with myself, not allowing myself to step on the light patches of light on the forest ground. The jokster, Hatsuharu, sees my erratic movements and joins in with me.

I try to stay cheery, but my heart is all out of sorts. Hatori doesn't spare me a single glance. As if I'm expecting otherwise. He's been like this since the 'vacation' started. I'm just air to him. He's walking up ahead, Kiyomi by his side. She is animated and telling him stories. He listens patiently, nodding and replying.

I want to hide.

We eventually end up at the pond. Its surface is shimmering different shades of colors of a peacock feather - blues, greens, and golds.

"Uh, is this it?" Kagura asks, nonplussed.

"Yes. Night swimming."

"Skinny dipping?!" Ayame asks with shock which turns into a lecherous grin as he looks over as his love, Mine. His mind always takes things to a whole 'nother level.

"Yes." Kyo responds hesitantly, "If you want to."

"Oh, who would have thought out little pussy could have come up with something so perfect for today's icky-sticky weather?" Ayame says proudly. He wraps his arm around the small girl beside him before snaking his hand under her shirt and lifting it up. Before she can smack his hands away, he's pulled off her shirt to expose her naked boyish body. I quickly look away. The others soon follow. My eyes open wide with shock. I didn't know people were so open to parading their bodies around. I don't think anyone outside of my family has seen me nude before, except for Hatori. I always listened to what my mom told me. That my body was a temple. That it was mine to take care of, love, criticize. That I should never let anyone see me unless it was the person I loved. She might have been quite carefree in her early years, but she'd changed into a very protective mother. Her values still stick with me.

And today I have to be extra-cautious. Not just the "getting nude in front of other people". I can't go into the water. And it has me all hot around the collar. I don't really want to tell anyone the reason why I can't go into the water today. As everyone is splashing in the water, I walk toward the edge of the dock and find a seat. The warm water feels nice against my legs.

Kyo sits down next to me, bare-chested. "Coming in?"

"No." I reply hastily, looking away from him.

"Why not? If you're afraid of me seeing your body, don't be. I promise I won't look until you're in the water."

"It's not that."

"Then what?" He says exasperatedly. I can sense his impatience.

"No-nothing really. I just can't."

"Is it because you can't swim. Because I can teach you." His eyes brighten a little.

"No."

"Then what?"

"I mean, it's true, I can't really swim, but it's not that."

And then his eyes turn darker. "Then pray tell, why is it? Why don't you want to engage in an activity that I planned? Is it because you find it offensive, or me - you find me offensive?"

I don't reply because I don't know how too. He's reading into it too much. I really don't mean to hurt him. But I really can't.

/

"You've been moping around all day, like something or someone's been on your mind, eating away your youth like a goddamn disease! It's been bothering me so much why you have to act like a total prude!" I bow my head down. Kyo's thrown temper tantrums before, but not like this. Where did it come from? He's never blatantly hurt me before.

My face is hot with indignation over his words. My eyes glance over quickly at the smooth ripple-less surface of the water, looking to see if the others are seeing this. Please no. Please don't let them see me like this. My eyes land on Hatori. He's shrouded in darkness, alone by the shore, close enough to hear. I give him a long, searching look. I'm searching for something - a hint of understanding, tenderness to let me know that he's there for me. But his features are stiff and impassive. Cold as stone. His eyes are those of a stranger, remotely looking toward my direction, but not really seeing.

Pain wracks my weak body. Unable to looking at Kyo or Hatori, my gaze drops down to the ground. My attention focuses on the swirl of dust around my bare feet as a shuffle around my big toe in the dirt. I'm tainted and unworthy. Without another pause, I move, sweeping past him, knocking my elbow against his in my blind hurt. My throat is dry to the point of being difficult to draw air. Bleed. I'm going to run as far and as fast as I can. My hands curled into tight fists.

"Stop." A firm hand grips my stooped shoulder to stop me in my tracks. I stare back in dismay. I don't to further complicate things. I don't want anyone to help me. I deserve this. But I can't move - my feet are rooted to the ground. He turns me so that the both of us are facing Kyo, my tormentor.

"Did you even fucking think about why Tohru so vehemently denied your request? If you had been less focused on yourself you may have figured out that she is on her fucking period right now!" Shigure seethes. His voice is like a low vibration - filled with dark, threatening promise. It makes my face turn a darker shade - the color of blood. I reckon that there is steam coming from my red-tipped ears. How does he know? Or is he just taking a blind guess?

His dark eyes lower to stare into Kyo's vacuous gaze. Feeling vulnerable, I shift my weight from one bare foot to another. My heart is still beating furiously, but I center all my control to reach my shaky fingers out to squeeze Shigure's hand. To softly tell him to let it go. It's not worth it. I'm not worth it. But he merely squeezes back. I'm not sure what it means...

He moves in toward Kyo (who is cowering under Shigure's steady gaze) until he is millimeters away from him. "Apologize to Tohru right now."

When Kyo hesitates, Shigure spits derisively, "If you were half a man, you'd have read the signs."

I don't want him to fight my battles. And I don't need to hear Kyo's apology. Because it is true. I have been strange. I haven't been myself. Because I'm in love without someone who hurts me time and time again, unknowingly. "It's okay." I murmur, looking up at the men beside me.

"No it fucking isn't!" Shigure says, fuming.

"I'm sorry." Kyo blurts out apologetically. His eyes are cast down, repentantly. I've seen this before. This is him being sincere.

I nod acceptingly and make a break for the house. I hear Shigure calling out after me, but I don't stop until my lungs are aching.

/

A/N: Hope you enjoyed. Gure doggie instinct and good memory kick in. I love a thoughtful man. Haha. I'll be working on the next chapter and should hopefully have it up by the weekend! Love you all! Reviews are very welcome. Hope everyone is having a lovely, safe summer!

Also, I am obsessed with haikyos. Definitely go look some up (really cool blogs)- you will be amazed. :)

Tsukiakage: Hello dear, oh yeah, Gure is gonna take advantage. Bedroom advantage. :)

Phenylephrine: -wipes ur tears away- Thanks for your thoughtful message darling. Will Kiyomi succeed in nabbing our H? Yuki the cross-dresser... sex change is definitely possible. jkjk Both Shuji and smut will happen my dear! Luv u!

Winter Star light: Goody-good you've caught up! T feels terrible... -sniffles- I am so mean.

Anonymous Reader: THANKS FOR CHECKING THE STORY OUT! I'm very happy u came out of the dark. :) We will definitely discover more about K. She better not take advantage of H in his sleep! Warning: angsty tension comin' up!

Joflower: Hihi! T still has low self esteem. When is she gonna get over it? And what is mystery S up to?

kris11993: Haha, the yellow bus... it snuck in like Kiyomi. I agree - there are a lot of peripheral characters that are ignored - but I love Kisa and Momo. They are adorable. Me want! Indeed the bet will happen as soon as T gets settled in. Innuendos - yum yum. Nice golf one dear! MOAR PLEASE.

Joscollia: They next few chapters are gonna be lots of fun (and anxiety). Hehe!

Lovetta Dream: Seriously agree w/ u. But H is thinking 10 steps ahead. He can't let his jealousy jeopardize him and T's relationship. At all costs.

alwayskougacola: crazy web of lovers... hehe :)

mcangel1976: Good deduction my dear. Nuclear bomb, indeed. :)

kouga's older woman: My loyal girl! Love ya to bits!

saida: Hey newbie - thanks for dropping a comment!

savethesalmon: Hello missy! OMG CHINA. Need to hear more stories. :) Kiyomi kiyomi - gonna be a whirlwind.

blackstardragon: NEW READER = love. Thanks!

Kiera: NEWBIE. love the name Kiera. So pwetty. Glad to hear I cheered u up. The feeling is mutual when I get reviews. :)

AshAnime: NEWBIE. Thanks for leaving me a lovely comment. I'm so glad u like Shuji - I was afraid ppl were gonna be like 'don't introduce new characters!' but the response has been great so far. It's always good to have a stable non-Sohma thrown into the mix. :) Being with H is definitely stressful. Not much communication from his side leaves Tohru very worrisome.

meghan166: Thank u newbie. :)

464 reviews, 63 followers, 51 favs, 26708 hits!


	61. Chapter 61: Triangle

/ Thanks girlies! It means so much to read your lovely comments. Keep 'em coming! Please enjoy the latest installment...

**Chapter 61: Triangle**

I half-heartedly hope Hatori will run after me like a knight in shining armor. He will wrap his arms around me from behind, hold me close, and never let me go. But alas, I'm an idealistic fool who lives with an endless supply of fantasies. It's all I have. To fall back on when times are hard or when I feel I have nothing else to live for. To give me hope.

I have had nothing to covet my whole life. Nothing to claim as mine. I've lost everything. But come away with the greatest lesson: Everything is so fragile, breakable.

So cherish it, cries a small voice inside me. Cherish your memories with him.

Once I'm in the silent air-conditioned house, I let my bone-tired body crumple against the back of the door with a heavy sigh. I let my head fall into the valley formed by my knees brought up close to my chest. I try to blank out everything in my mind.

_Breathe_.

Deciding it would likely make me feel better, I go into the bathroom and lock myself up. I strip and turn on the shower taps. I stare at myself in the mirror. I'm plain. My long brown hair is tangled, looking like some loony bird's nest - twigs and grass and moisture. I guess I didn't really bother to look where I was running. As I tilt my head to the side to look at something that's caught my attention, I notice a thin red scratch along the side of my face. I didn't even notice. After all, love is blind. Ha, I laugh mirthlessly. I'm willing to throw everything away - my pride and safety included. How pitiful Hatori would think me.

"I don't care," I firmly inform the mirror. Oh but I do.

I can't lose him.

I love him.

I need him.

I'm going crazy, talking to my own reflection. Am I really that lonely?

I continue my assessment. I am on the thin side, rather pale and shapeless. So unlike the cat-like lithe body of Kiyomi. Of course I'd notice the graceful sway of her hips as she walked cheerfully by Hatori's side. And when she stripped down to nothing but a pair of black boyshorts for a swim - her perfectly round breasts topped with pert dusky nipples, her flat stomach - I watched. When she moved into the water, it was like a mermaid's return to her home. The two dimples on her lower back - dimples of Venus... gods, I'm becoming such a pervert. And I'm sure I'm not the only one who noticed.

My mom always told me to love myself.

And here I am defying all her virtues.

I'm looking and judging me body. Strike one.

As I'm waiting for the hot water to flow through the old creaky pipes, I brush my teeth furiously. I'm cleansing my mouth like a mad woman before proceeding to floss the fuck out.

And yeah, bad language has become by shield against all the pain.

Once the water is scalding hot, I step in. It pounds over my head and my back, releasing me from all my pent up anger and sadness. Everything is colliding together and combusting into sparks, burning me in the process. Only now do I let the salty tears cascade down my cheeks. After I let the water simply pound away for twenty minutes, until my fingers are all pruny and I'm as red as a baboon's butt - I step out. Just as I'm drying off and wrapping my damp hair, there is a knock on the door. I pull the towel tightly around my body and hold it in place with one hand - you know, just in case. Then, I open the door.

Outside, Shigure is holding a white tray. The hallway is pitch black, only lit by the light behind me. The vapors that spill into the hallway makes it look like some smoky, dark alleyway. "I made you something." He says shyly.

I look down on the tray and see a polka-dotted mug with some steaming tea. Most of the tea is spilled onto the tray, but that's beside the point. It's the gesture that endears me to no end. Shigure making me tea? I must be dreaming. Nightmare. Dream. Nightmare. Dream. It's like an endless cycle.

He guides me over to the bedroom and sits me down on my bed. He crawls under his own coverlet, burrowing in like a mole. He leans on his side, holding his face in his hands, looking at me. "I'm sorry about what happened earlier. Kyo is such an ass sometimes."

I'm staring at the stark white ceiling. Wishing it could procure puffy cloud shapes so I can play a game of 'guessing cloud shapes' and not have to struggle with my thoughts. But instead, all I can think of is the way Kiyomi looked up at Hatori with hunger.

And how absorbed he looked back at her.

When I don't reply, he continues. "Don't let him ruin the trip. There is plenty more to do so cheer up, okay?" The slight quirk of his eyebrow is so sincere that I almost smile. He's really making an effort. And I'm grateful.

He procures a strawberry chew-candy from his pocket and places it in my palm. "To keep your energy up."

"Momo and Kisa," I say, suddenly realizing that the younger girls are still sleeping beside us.

"Don't worry about them. If there is one thing we have in common it is that we are all heavy sleepers. They've had a long day. Momo's spent the afternoon with her brother in the attic exploring. That' tired her out a great deal. She could barely keep her eyes open while she was eating pizza. That says something."

Shigure keeps tabs on the others? I'm surprised.

He isn't the man I thought he was.

I slip the pink-colored candy into my mouth and wince. The mingling taste of the minty toothpaste and the sweet candy makes a bitter, unpleasant concoction. Eww. But I wait it out and before long, I am enjoying the pleasant sweetness. I'm not one to chomp and swallow. I like to move the candy in my mouth, slide it across my tongue, against my teeth with a clicking sound - savor it until it is the size of a pea. When it's gone, I close my eyes to remember the taste. I haven't had one in so long.

As I sip at the hot bitter liquid (a surprisingly tasty contrast to the candy), I can feel his eyes roaming over my face. His cool hand brushes the side of my face, parallel to the scratch zigzagging down to my jaw. "What happened?" He whispers. There is a dormant desperation lying beneath the surface of his calmness.

"Just a branch."

"You're bleeding."

The hot water must have kept it open or something, but I don't feel anything. I'm numb.

He rises from the sheets and leaves the bedroom. Momentarily, he returns with cold washcloth and several bandages. "I'm not much of a doctor, but that'll do for tonight."

He runs his thumb along my lower lips, dipping past the panel of teeth into the hot cavern of my mouth. Unwittingly, my lips close in on his thumb, taking it deeper into my mouth. It's some strange oral fixation. Since when?

When he finally pulls away, he places his thumb into his own mouth, sucking it. "I can taste it still."

"Me too," I respond. He doesn't say anything more about the Kyo incident, but we sit together is peaceful companionship. He shares a story about him and Ayame as children and how they would hide in the tiny crawl basement below the house. Once they found a box full of unopen holiday gifts. As impatient boys are, they opened every single one without harboring any guilt. Girl gifts, pet gifts, house gifts, - didn't matter. Finder's keepers.

"Any gift you remember in particular?"

"Umm, not really. It was just the adrenaline. I can totally relate to a shoplifter's mentality. It's the rush."

I laugh without reserve.

"Also drug addict."

"Hey, I wouldn't go that far." A serious look crosses over his features but it melts into a snarky smile. "Oh, I remember my favorite gift now."

"Hmm?"

"It was just a silly little thing, but I kept it with me for years. It was a rubber green lizard. Stupid thing that was just a stocking stuffer, but I loved it. It looked so real and I'd use to to scare about everyone single Sohma until they wanted to murder me."

Shigure's favorite gift a simple rubber lizard?

Shatter my misconceptions.

"Are the others still out?"

"Yeah, they're having a good time."

_He's forgotten all about you_.

"Why'd you come back?" I ask.

"Because I was worried about you. I know how you always blame everything on yourself. And I couldn't let you do that tonight."

_Not if I can help it_. He thinks to himself. _There is something different about you. About me. I want you. I want to know you. Your weaknesses. Desires. Needs_.

_I can feel your heartbreak. And it's shattering me. I'm not sure why. But it makes me feel alive._

_And I want to save you._ Does that make any sense?

/

"You should go back. Enjoy it."

"I don't want to."

"You'd rather sit with a boring girl on her monthly?"

"Any day." _With you_.

"How'd you know?" I ask softly.

"Dog instinct."

"Well, thanks. I didn't get to thank you earlier." I look down to the flowery bed sheets, avoiding eye contact with him.

He lifts my chin up to stare me in the eye. His eyes are dark and stormy. "Tohru Honda never forgets her manners, no matter how distraught she is." He teases, his ever-changing eyes sparkling with amusement.

After some more banter, he falls on his back beside me. "Forget about tonight." He slips his arm under the hollow beneath my neck and draws my head close to his chest. He cradles it in the crook of his arm. "Let me hold you."

What?! I think to myself. But my body is a puppet to his touch. I find myself relishing the warmth of his body against mine. This mercurial man. From sweet to funny to thoughtful. Who would have thought Mr. Playboy had so many facets to him? _Thank you. For being there for me when I felt down._

After he places the briefest kiss against my temple and begins to tell me about his next romantic plot for his next smutty novel, I relax in his arms. I haven't felt this relaxed and safe since...

/

"I'm soaking." Kiyomi says to the stiff man beside her. He hasn't loosened up the whole night, and now it's time to go. She gathers all of her hair to one side and wrings it out. Forgoing her pajama shorts and tank, she simply walks in front of him confidently. She'd grown into her gangly body which she now loves. It wasn't always that way until college.

Halfway along the path, Kiyomi shouts, "Aiyahhhh, I forgot my cellphone. It must still be on the rock."

Being a gentleman, Hatori follows her back.

They arrive fifteen minutes after the others, who have decided to make use of the outdoor showers behind the cottage. There is muffled laughter coming from that area. Feeling exhausted, Hatori decides to take a shower in the morning. But he can't. His mind won't let him. Why did Shigure stand up for Tohru? Why did he care?

_And why do I feel a sinking feeling in my chest_?

The door opens, interrupting his thoughts. Kiyomi slinks into the room quietly and whispers in the darkness, "Ha'ri, are you awake?"

He responds with a grunt.

"I forgot to get bed stuff for tonight. It's in Akito-sama's room and I don't want to bother her. She's probably asleep. Can I sleep with you tonight?"

Her words don't make sense to him at first, because he is completely distracted by his niggling thoughts of Shigure and Tohru. "What?"

"Can I share your bed?"

"I don't think so..." Hatori replies.

This isn't happening to him.

It doesn't matter if it is completely innocent or whatever, because it can easily be misunderstood. Two "single" people in the same bed? Yeah, not happening.

"Don't be like that," Kiyomi implores. "Remember before, when we were children, we all slept together. - you, Shigure, Ayame, and me. There's nothing to it until you give it meaning." She's kneeling down beside him and caressing his arm soothingly. It causes the fine hairs on his arms to stand up straight.

"Please, I'm tired." She says.

"Take the bed then, I'll sleep outside."

Her fingers catch his short sleeve and tugs gently. "Please don't go tonight. It's only for one night. Nothing has to happen if you don't want it to."

She is throwing herself at him.

Despite all the male attention she's received in the past years, which has launched her into a poised, well-adjusted woman, she only wants one person.

Every fiber within him screams that this is an awful thing to do, but it's late and he doesn't want to raise questions in the morning about why he isn't sleeping in his designated room. Especially from Akito. After all, she placed them in a room together for a reason.

Why?

"Fine. I don't need to cover tonight. Take it." He turns his uncovered body away from her to sleep on his side.

He's cold but it doesn't matter. He deserves it.

/

Sunday morning.

I wake up at 6 am the following morning. Shigure's leg is draped over my body like a serpent. I throw off the heavy limb and pull up his coverlet to his chin. He's one of those kick-it-off-in-my-sleep types. After I dig out a thin cardigan, I slip past my sleeping roommates into the hall. I still feel dismal after last night and seeing my face confirms it. Puffy, red eyes nearly swollen shut look back at me. Ouch.

And there is no way to disguise my state.

I make myself a cup of hot tea before making my way to the garden. I find a stone bench beside the cottage. The shade feels great.

As I'm thinking about what a silent sufferer/coward I am (and my obsession without a certain moody seahorse), voices bring me out of my self-pitying. Low hushed sounds. If I focus enough, I can make out the words drifting from to open window.

/

"That's not true." A female voice denies evenly.

"It's clear to me and anyone who gives a damn. You're not over him. You haven't been since he left. I need emotional monogamy, Akito. You lie with me but think of him. And I can't go on like this."

It's Kureno.

My mind is a maelstrom. I feel like I've uncovered a deep, dark secret. It's like an endless tunnel. So many twists and turns.

Who is Akito's secret crush? And what is she doing with Kureno? I didn't know they had something.

My body freezes up as I listen to them continue to quarrel.

"I gave up for you."

Silence. Is he referring to Arisa? Did he break up with her over Akito?

"You didn't love her. She wasn't worthy of you to begin with." Akito retorts viciously.

"And what about you? Why did you kick him out of the house if you loved him so much?"

"Because he was supposed to come back! He was supposed to beg for my forgiveness after what he did with those foolish girls, one after another, pure, meaningless physical depravity!"

Akito loves Shigure? It shatters my illusion of a transcendent being not subject to the weaknesses of man.

"You've lost him, yet you still can't rid him from your mind?"

"When will you give yourself over to me? I've given up so much to have you."

"I can't give you what you want. You know that when we started this."

"Yes, but one can keep on hoping."

I hear a rustle of cloth before a thud against a hard wall. "No, we can't."

"Why not?"

After a long pause, she replies, "We don't have protection."

"Does it matter? You can't get pregnant." Then the telltale sound of bed springs and skin rhythmically slapping against skin fills the ripe air.

"Oh... oh... please!" She cries lustily.

"Gods you're small and tight. You're made for me. Please tell me if I'm hurting you... ahhh, I can't hold back!" His voice is ragged with lust.

After a loud guttural sound and a bout of silence, I hear Akito murmur, "I'm sorry."

After another long silence, Kureno replies, "It doesn't matter to me because I'll always be your first. It doesn't matter that you think of him when you are with me, because at the end of the day, it's still me who comes inside you."

"Don't say that." Akito moans.

"Why? Because it's the truth?"

Silence again.

"We are both simple creatures who want what we can't have." He says with an air of finality.

I can't believe I've just stood outside the cabin like a voyeur. But I was completely frozen. It was like watching an oncoming train wreck. I just couldn't look away. Gods, I'm depraved.

/

I'm completely dumbfounded. What did I just eavesdrop on?

/

A/N: 7.13.2013 - Tohru is a voyeur. Bahaha! What did you think of this chapter? I promise there will be smut on this 'trip'... but how will it happen? Secrecy is the name of the game.

Your guesses please. :)

alwayskougascola: I loved your analogy. Behehehe.

Miaboo011: Seriously! This trip is wrecking havoc on their delicate relationship.

Tsukiakage: Haha, GurexTohru? Hmmm... I DO love them lots. Enough Gure action? It's pretty clear now he is showing her ATTENTION. Hot. Hatori, take note.

Phenylephrine: Correct about S's sniffin'. You are the sweetest my dear!

kouga's older woman: Furiously! I meant seriously. :) H, take your woman BACK!

Anon: Angsty tension... u know it! I love me some drama (not in RL of course, though I wouldn't mind a trio of lovely men after my heart!)

kris11993: T's never had this much drama in her life... and she's really struggling to come to terms with it all. She doesn't even know how S and S really feel about her. Oooo, u noticed the abandoned places hint... that's gonna be fun. Dark corners. Pussy cat comment - hehehe, love it. Your whole review had me smiling like a creepr. Gure's pole... oooo, u are creative missy. MOAR (as always).

Infinity1: S is amazing and not just a cold-hearted bastard. He feels and sees. That's why he's such a successful author. LOVE u and yeah, it sucks. I had an expensive piece of software loaded on there. BA! That reminds me, I saw Love Actually recently. Love triangle with Kiera Knightley was angsty goodness. I just have to mention it. KK and A get married. B is A's best friend. He's a photographer. He seems completely unfriendly toward KK. After the wedding, KK stops by B's apartment to ask to see the wedding video he shot. He makes up some excuse like it's not edited/bad/whatever. As she's looking on his shelf, she sees it right there: wedding video. She plays it.

And then she realizes the camera is mostly focused on her. Closeups of her smiling... blah blah.

And she knows.

He's in love with her.

And love secret piners.

And then the scene with the poster boards at her front door... gods. Beautiful. Romantic.

Sorry for the long tangent.

savethesalmon: Yes, I'm back! As to who was clothed: Beside Ayame and Mine being fully nude (nudists), the others are partial... bottoms on... Gure is clothed tho. Alexander the Great. Gure the Intuitive.

Traceless-Poison: I LOVED GURE in the previous chapter too. Insightful, indeed. Ayame is a total perv.

Joscollia: Don't worry, smut is cummin (haha, totally just had to put that out there!) Thanks for ur kind words. Who wants to see H turn all caveman?

duckie: OMG DUCKIE. I've missed u dearly. New house - yay? Bigger and better or downsize? The housing market has turned for the worst - sky-high rates... so u are a lucky one girl! fwuffy - love that word. -must get momo to use it more often- Ha'ri is an actor. So cold but for the best? K under water... with googles... spying on H...

Hope ur suggestion was fulfilled my dear. Yes, H is not happy. Gure is a shield, but will A sense something is up?

477 reviews, 64 followers, 53 favs, 27239 hits! Muaw!


	62. Chapter 62: Suffering

/ Long 3K chapter. Thanks NekoSkittles for informing me about my glaring issue. You are _so_ right. :)

Chapter 62: Suffering

/

While my mind is still running in a cruel loop, my feet carry me away from the cottage, but not without a few stumbles. My legs feel like they are composed of jelly. I return into the house and methodically start to take ingredients out of the refrigerator. Something is flip flopping in my womb like a fish out of water. Like when you are riding a rollercoaster that takes you on upside down loops.

I need...

Distractions, distractions, distractions...

Two hour later, I've laid out a Western-style feast. Discs of mushroom and ham omelette (which I keep in the oven to keep warm), a platter of freshly-cut fruits (watermelon, mango, kiwi, strawberries, peaches), a tray filled with bagels, croissants, and raisin toast. Since they are all still asleep, I come up with an ambitious idea to make an origami for each of the Juunishi. I brought paper. And it'd be a great way to showcase the shapes for Momo to pick from for her first foray into the traditional art of paper folding.

I find the iPad lying on the coffee table and look up instructions.

An hour later, I've completed a dog (very easy and abstract - I'd never be able to tell it was a dog, it could be a bat for all I know, but the skill level did say 'beginner'), a tiger, a seahorse, a snake, a cat, a rat, and a rabbit (a balloon-shaped rabbit!).

For those who I don't have time for a quickly fold up a boat. Haha, so random.

For Momo, Kiyomi, Mine, and Akito, I make flowers.

For Momo a white rose.

Kiyomi a white lily.

Mine a yellow tulip.

Akito a pink rose.

/

"I smell fried stuff." Hiro is my first sleepy-eyed guest to trudge into the kitchen. "Come over, I need your help with seating arrangements." I say. "I'm not sure who to sit by who for a peaceful breakfast."

"Ah, I'm good at that."

/

At around ten, everyone is finally up. They find their seats using the name-cards I've placed beside the plate and origami.

Once Akito cuts a corner of the her omelette and lifts it to her mouth, the others follow suit. It's like she's the breadwinner. Top of the hierarchy. Their god.

It still confuses me. Do they respect and worship her out of fear or some ingrained sense of loyalty and duty?

What does she have other them?

Because I've just seen her at her weakest.

And to me, she is just a mortal woman.

/

"So, today I have something planned for us. I spent all of yesterday afternoon speaking with the local tour guide to arrange a special visit for us. We will explore the hidden treasures of the town starting at noon."

But before I can get excited, she adds, "I made enough reservations for all the Sohmas and Kiyomi."

My heart falls back into place.

Yeah, of course.

Why would things change today?

Rome wasn't built in a day.

Prejudice doesn't just disappear overnight.

"Then I shall not be attending without my Mine." Ayame says firmly, extending an arm around his lover and clutching her close to his chest. She looks up to him with a sweet, unassuming smile. She's stuck with him against all odds. Maybe I should take note.

Maybe I shouldn't be so needy and selfish.

Akito rolls her eyes. "Suit yourself." Despite her prejudice against all outsiders, she's basically overlooked Ayame and Mine's relationship. Let it happen.

Why them?

Why not Hatori and Kana?

/

Once everyone finishes, I start to clear up the tables. With Akito around, the mood is heavy. It's like the weather outside. Just gray and unknown. Whereas usually I hear endless compliments and gratitude about the food, today is silent.

Building up my courage, I tap Shigure's shoulder and ask, "Do you think you guys will need me to make lunch. I can make triple decker sandwiches very quickly, just give me twenty-"

"No, we won't be needing your services, Tohru. And don't wait up for us for dinner either." Akito replies for him in a biting tone.

Shigure gives me a pained 'I'm sorry' look but doesn't say anything.

I turn back and almost bump into the sofa before busying myself in the kitchen. I keep my head down so as to avoid any more eye contact with Akito or anyone else.

I don't want anyone to see my hurt.

/

By eleven-thirty, everyone is out the door. And it's just the three of us.

Ayame sits down at the counter and says, "Tohru, don't worry about it. Akito's just a one-track minded woman. Simply, she sees you as a threat to her position. Because you different from them. And yet everyone gravitates toward you. We all love you. And she's worried. No one has ever managed to break through the thick shell about the Sohma hearts."

I stare back at him with a weak smile.

He's only trying to make me feel better.

/

Mine sneaks up behind him. I can see her from my vantage point pressing her index finger to her lips to signal me to keep quiet. She snakes her arms around him and whispers 'Boo' into his ears.

"As if you could scare me," he replies. "I knew you were there the whole time."

"But I saw you flinch!"

"Trick of your eye, Mine. You're mine. I know you inside and out."

He starts to tickle her starting from her stomach before moving up her sides. She protests feebly before he catches her under her legs and lifts her into his arms. "See you later Tohru-san. We have some business to take care of. This little maid needs a little punishment because she's acted out of line - thinking she can scare her Ayame." His serious tone is offset by the joy plastered across his face.

They have such a loving, joking relationship.

/

I leave the house for fear of hearing their love-making and escalating my own troubling thoughts and desires. My emotions have been running rampant since I arrived here, but I've managed to keep them semi-controlled. Luckily, I haven't needed him.

I really shouldn't have come on this trip.

If not to see the smiles on the girls face, I don't think I could last.

While I'm trimming down the vines crawling up the sides of the cottage, Mine comes up beside me. I can tell she's just taken a shower from her fresh-face and the light lavender scent of her soap. "Need any help?"

"No, it's alright." I reply.

"Us outside girls need to stick together. She crouches beside me and begins to tug on the roots. You gotta start from the root of the problem. If you merely trim it, it will grow back and sometimes multi-fold if you've split the stems. Aaargh... there we go, one problem fixed."

I follow her problem solving method and grip the base of the stem and pull hard. After the two of us finish the side of the wall an hour later, my hands are red and sore with calluses. Mine is the same. We crumple on the ground in exhaustion. "That was tiring."

She continues after a long pause, "Look, stupid Ayame looking out the window at us. Lazy guy. I'm gonna make him pay." Her voice is crackling with feigned menace.

"How?" I reply curiously. I barely know anything about relationships except from what I see in movies.

"No sex."

My eyes widen to the size of saucers.

Mine giggles girlishly. "I use sex as punishment as well as a bartering mechanism. It works perfectly."

"Have you been in a relationship before, Tohru?"

I shake my head.

"You will find out just how powerful you are as a woman."

Maybe I should abstain from all things Hatori. At least on the surface. Keep my face impassive the way he's been doing. Maybe then he will realize how much it hurts.

Or maybe he may relish it. No more bothersome Tohru.

"The roots were pretty deep. I can see the cement foundation of the cottage."

"Yeah, crazy growing weeds." I reply back.

/

After a small dinner, the three of us gather in the living room to watch a cooking competition TV show. My eyes keep drifting off to the clock on the wall. Figuring that TV is not enough to keep my attention, I rise up to make some of my three-layer sandwiches. I don't know what's in store for tomorrow, but it never hurts to have a backup meal plan. At ten, they decide to turn in for bed. I follow suit, going into the bathroom to wash up.

At the exact moment I walk out, I hear the sound of the door unlocking. I keep in the shadowy depths of the hallway, afraid to make an appearance in front of Akito. My image will probably ruin her good mood.

"Hatori, do you want me to make you any tea?" Kiyomi says loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Uh, okay." He responds.

I just made a pot of boiling water as well as pitcher of cool green tea, figuring they'd be tired and thirsty after the trip.

"Dinner was delicious!" Hiro says. "I'm drooling just thinking about the medium rare steak!"

"Eww..." Momiji replies. "I like my steak well-done."

"Please, can we stop talking about meat. You both sicken me - eating my brethren. La LA LALALALA I can't hear you!"

Ignoring Hatsuharu, Hiro responds to Momiji. "Pffst. You're losing all the juicy tenderness."

"Thanks, but I'd like to avoid turning into a cannibal. There was like blood dripping down your chin."

"Yeah, duh, because I was ravenous. We walked a total of 6 miles today! I know the whole town now. From the coal mine to the silk factory to the alleyways. I'm still a growing boy who needs his nutrients."

"Uh, I'm the growing boy. You're gross." Momiji replies.

"Let this gross guy tell you who's more fit!"

I hear a thud meaning that someone's hit the ground. "OUCH!" Someone wails. "Stop it guys!" Kisa cries out in a loud voice I've never heard before. I guess to defend her guy, she's willing to step out of her comfort zone. I admire that.

I immediately retreat into the room and crawl into bed. After twenty minutes, I fall into a dreamless sleep.

/

Monday morning.

"Wake up, Tohru. We're taking you out today."

"You've been trapped in the house for too long. You're losing your luster." Shigure says, ruffling his hair with his fist, like she's some unpolished silverware in need of a little touching up.

"What time is it?"

Normally, I'm the first one to wake up. What's happened to my biological clock?

"It's ten."

"Ten?!" I hastily put on my clothing and rush out the door. I see Kisa with her back turned to me, flipping pancakes on a griddle. Meanwhile, Momo is refilling a plastic red cup to a precise line.

"I'm sorry guys."

Kisa turns to me with a beaming smile. "No problem. We're making pancakes and using the remainders of the fresh strawberries you cut up yesterday morning."

"Sounds good."

At breakfast, I notice that Akito is not there.

"She's in one of her fits again and locked herself in the cottage. Not sure why, but none of us are going to let that affect us." Shigure says. "We leave that to Kureno our resident soothsayer.

"Anyways, we are going to the beach. Me, you, Hatori, Kiyomi, Ayame, and Mine. The others want to lounge around at home."

"Not really," Hiro says darkly. "You never even told us you were going out and you didn't extend the invitation."

"Beside the point. We're leaving in ten."

I corner him alone and whisper, "Are you sure I should go? I mean about you know. I'm probably put a damper on your fun and -"

"Nonsense. You're coming."

"But-"

"No buts. Go get dressed." A dark chuckle slips from his lips before he propels me down the hall with a push.

I don't want to hold them up so I ask if anyone needs to bathroom before going in myself.

My hair is a fright that I tame by filling a cup with water and pouring it all over my bent-over head. Since I'm still on my period and I can't go into the water, I strip off my pajamas and put on my T-shirt and linen capris.

In the kitchen, I retrieve the sandwiches I made in advance last night. My intuition was right.

/

Mine does a few last minute touches in front of the foyer mirror before we all head out toward the bus. I walk sullenly in the back with Hatori and Kiyomi leading the way.

It's an hour long drive to the beach. We park the bus right along the edge of the cliff. There aren't any other cars there. I peer over the edge to see a wonderful secluded cove. The sand is almost white and free of debris. There are a few jagged rocks and a few trees too.

Shigure leads us to a small steep dirt trail down to the beach.

"Sunscreen anyone?" Kiyomi offers.

Shigure nods and she gives the tube over to him. He rubs it generously over his exposed areas before giving the tube to me. I do the same. When I return it to Kiyomi, she turns to Hatori and asks, "Want some?"

After he rubs it over himself, she laughs and says, "You missed a spot."

She easily places her hands on his neck and proceeds to rub the lotion into his skin. It looks much more intimate than it should. But I can't say anything. I have to keep my cover. My hope is that I'm not staring at him with an obvious aggravated look. He can't now. The others can't no.

But Hatori doesn't react in any way. He lets it happen.

After setting up a cabana, I settle down on a towel and pull out a novel. It's one of Shigure's less 'scandalous' stories called Frozen Time. It's about a forbidden romance between a peasant girl and a wealthy boy.

"Ooo, did you get that from my bookshelf?" He asks with his head cocked to one side, an evil grin spreading across his face.

"Yeah, I picked it up for light reading in case I had free time."

"When you're done, I'd like to hear any constructive criticism you have."

"Hai."

As Shigure turns away to strip off his seersucker yukata, I look over the edge of my novel. I can see Kiyomi stripping off her white tunic and baring her the swells of her breasts and her abdomen. Her turquoise two-piece suit fits her like a glove; the tiny triangle top showcases the milky-white globes of her breasts, and her equally tiny bikini reveals the pert curve of her bottom which slims down into a pair of long, lean legs. Hedonistic goddess. Yeah, that's the term that Shigure used in his story. It could describe her just right. After pulling her hair into a sloppy bun atop her head, she dives into the cerulean waters.

/

Hatori has been sitting on the rocks silently scrutinizing the interaction between them. Tohru has a lovely, beaming smile directed toward Shigure. And he seems to like what he sees, responding with a reverent look on his face. He fists the sides of his trunks, unsure of how to proceed from here. Surely she knows he's not some cold-blooded animal. He wants her with the very essence of his being! He wants to lose himself in the haze of passion. Just the two of them. They could be stranded on some tropical island for all he cared! As long as he can spend precious time with her alone, showing her in all the ways he knows - just how much he desires her.

His mind drifts off to not-so-innocent thoughts. His fingers gliding down the soft curve of her breasts, his thumb caressing the tip of her taut nipple idly, without the restraints of time. While his fingers continue to freely tease and torment her with the lightest of touches coupled with firmly pinching of her rosy buds, her cries echo in his ears - causing him to growl with arousal.

Hatori feels betrayed because he clearly told Shigure that he had feelings for Tohru, yet there he is, flirting with her. He gets that it's Shigure personality, but it's like he's flaunting his freedom.

Now he was drawing close to the end of his tether. There was no way he was going to let his friend snatch her away from him in his week of weakness.

He was avoiding her for their own good. Didn't he convince her how much she meant to him before the trip? As the weight of it all bearing down on her small, fragile body been too much to handle?

A masculine voice draws him out of his daydream. "Hey, you coming in?"

He opens his eyes and sees a glistening Shigure shadowing him, with his arms akimbo.

"Yeah, just a second."

His blood is boiling as he wades into the cool water after his shaggy-haired friend. As he gets deeper to the point where his hips are submerged when a giant tide rushes over him. He loses his balance for a moment, shouting a litany of profanities in his mind for being so careless, before finding his footing in the sand.

/

At noon, I lay out a lovely picnic lunch on the towel. I open a plastic container filled with the triple decker sandwiches - four layers of bread, three layers of filling. The first layer contains egg salad, the second layer is crunchy cucumber mayo concoction and the last layer is either tuna or chicken. I also sets out a bowl of mixed fruits and spikes six toothpicks in.

As we are huddled in a circle eating the sandwiches, Ayame asks questions about yesterday's town tour.

Shigure is sitting beside me, with barely an inch between us. I can feel his eyes on me. It's unnerving and I turn clumsy. As I open my mouth to get another bite of my stacked sandwich, I squeeze a little too hard.

Before I can find where I placed those darn napkins, I feel the softest touch at the corner of my mouth. When I turn my head to see what the cause is, I see Shigure lifting his index finger to his mouth with a small dollop of mayonnaise. He flicks the wet tip of his tongue across the pad of his finger, playfully cleaning me up.

/

Hatori goes deathly still. He's watching them with darkening, resentful eyes. There is a barely-restrained, unparalleled hunger buried deep inside those glossy orbs. It's unforgiving and rapacious with murderous intent. He's never felt this anger before. He's truly thinking of using his "ability" to resolve this now and forever. No more interfering friend trying to snatch away what is his. No one take her away. He possessed her first and forever.

A matching flush paints his cheeks. The way his nose flares and the stiffening of his posture gives away his inner turmoil.

Shigure unflinchingly meets Hatori's emerald eyes.

/

A/N: 7.17.13 - Ooo, cliffy! H deserves that little territorial display, no? Hey at least S didn't just lick it off Tohru's face. Well, he would have if he wasn't in front of a crowd. -fans self-

Tsukiakage: Gure is playing with fire! Dragon's fire! Seriously, 3some is needed! if only if only... dream sequence... :)

Winter Star Light: T would dissolve into thousands of shards if she saw K and H. Poor T. Luckily H doesn't give into temptation.

Guest/Malus the Sayin: Thanks! U caught up! :) H is gonna corner T in next chapter. Stay tuned.

meghan166: Ooo, thanks girl! Lots and lots of bumps in the road.

: I feel like my secret admirer has just revealed her identity! YAY! Haha, poor H has to fend off K's attentions. She ain't givin' up! Cat fight if she discovers who her crush is crushin' on... so convoluted.

kouga's older woman: HI, thanks!

Phenylephrine: twisted web of H, A, K, S, T. Hey almost spells ANGST... change S to G for Gure... A_GST. And letter H kind looks like N, right? Unfortunately, K is a super swimmer. Darn.

Duckie: New house for u, did you pick out everything? Fun fun and stressful! Gure is really paying attention to T. Bad boys with sweet sides - agree, so hot. Wrong signal to Gure... hehehe. Akito being childish and locking herself in the cottage...

488 reviews, 67 followers, 55 favs, 28144 hits.


	63. Chapter 63: Surrender

/ It's been a long time coming, but I'm finally at 500 review! Woot!

**Chapter 63: Surrender**

/

Taking a break from my novel, I get up for a much-needed walk. It takes several seconds for me to shake the pins and needles sensation from my feet. The sun has finally come out and it's bearing down on us unrelentingly. I'm thankful I've covered myself with a thick layer of sunscreen, a shield against the harsh summer rays. I don't want to go back burned and out of commission because of it. Even though I'm not having the time of my life on this trip, I still want to be physically present, and not wincing every time I move a limb. I walk toward the jagged rocks that Hatori was sitting on earlier. While I carefully step from one rock to another, I see that the ocean is crystal clean and quite shallow. I can see the few small stones scattered across the bottom. I roll up my capris as far as possible, bunching it up all the way to my crotch and clutching it tightly before I step into the water. Ooo, it feels cool and welcoming as it ebbs and flows. I roll up my pants tightly so that I don't have to keep holding it, rolling and rolling until it's to the point of cutting off the circulation to my legs. Then I dip my hand in a wave it around. The salt water touching my calluses stings like hell. Ouch. I'm not doing that again. I walk away to the edge of the cove. What's on the other side?

Much to my luck, the water is still shallow and there's a small, enclosed cave! Much like the one at the lake! The little wonder does go that deep into the rocks, but it's still a nice calm setting. I walk around with the wet sand oozing between my toes, to admire the small dimples and holes along the stone walls, tracing them with my fingers.

"Tohru." Calls out a voice behind me, echoing in the cavern. Startled, I turn around just in time to see Shigure standing mere centimeters from me. There's a piece of seaweed on his head which I take off and flick in the direction of the ocean. "Thanks."

"You look like a sea monster." I say with a wide smile.

"Rawr, rawr!" He says, joining in on the fun. He brings his hands up to his ears and snaps them at me like claws. After our bout of silliness dies down, his face turns serious. Like he suddenly realizes that he has a final exam when he enters a classroom.

Shigure moves in close to me, pushing me against the cold stone behind me. I have nowhere to go. He's encircled me with arms on either side of my torso, caging me in. I squirm uncomfortably, my heart racing like a mad stampede.

He takes a strand of my hair and rubs it between his finger, as if he's studying the texture, memorizing it.

/

"Are things between us... okay?" He asks hoarsely.

There's a long pregnant pause. I'm afraid to tell him the truth. Because things will never be the same since he saved me. He's different. He's caring. Patient. Understanding. Thoughtful. I'm not sure what to make of it.

"You're between a rock and a hard place. Literally." He groans out, his head dipping into the crook between my neck and shoulder to hide the embarrassing desire spreading across his face. He can feel his traitorous member swelling inside his trunks. He reminds himself to seek out one of his females when he gets back. He's abstained for two months now. A definite feat for a man who hasn't gone more than two weeks without a lay. He needs a hot pussy to sink into, lose himself inside. Because he needs to take it slow with her, if he even stands a chance. It's not saying that he feels unworthy, but everything is just... different. She isn't some easy girl he can pick up at a bar. She can't be bought with material goods or "wined and dined." She is different and fragile and delicate and deserving of the gentlest touch - like a glass rose. She is shy and loving and beautiful. And he can't resist her. Yes, he's been a fool for not noticing before. A complete and utter fool chasing easy targets in the form of shallow, pretty girls who could satisfy him in the bed, but not elsewhere. And he needs that stimulant. Someone who intrigues him. Loves him beyond the surface. Sees through him and doesn't retract.

He never thought he'd be so completely pussy-whipped. Fuck. "Tohru, please tell me." Don't make me suffer any longer. I need to know. I've been wanting to make a serious move since... you changed. Since I discovered you. You weren't just my tenant anyone - someone under my roof, wearing baggy clothing and shuffling around the kitchen, but fully ingrained inside me. His cock bobbed up and down in agreement. He didn't want to pressure her into anything, but he had been suffering for too long.

Just a confirmation. Please.

"Of course." I'm grateful to you. Of course things are okay between us, my savior.

"I don't mean it that way. I mean, do you... care about me... more?" Care about me more? What the fuck. Stuttering like a first-timer and utterly tongue-tied. What he meant to ask was: Do I have a chance with you?

"I care about you." She begins. Her face looks confused as she is searching for the right words. "But not in... that way." I'm lost in someone else. And it doesn't matter that the stony, viridian-eyed doctor in my dreams doesn't reciprocate, because I'm stuck. Forever. At least until I manage to find a cure... if there even is one.

"Do you love someone else?"

"Yes."

"Does he show you?" Everyday? Because I haven't seen him to anything besides brood. I can't see anything suggestive of a relationship. If he cared for you like I do, he'd do everything in his power to show you.

He wouldn't give me a chance to corner you like this.

He said so in the car that day after the three of us spend the weekend at the villa. But it was just an offhanded remark. He doesn't mean it. Because I haven't seen him do anything remotely kind toward you. He hasn't done anything relationship-y. And I should know. I'm king of the human heart, human interactions, relationships, love, and it's reduction - lust.

He's still his self-pitying, wintry self.

He hasn't changed.

But I have.

Tohru writhes restlessly. "...Yes."

"You hesitated," he states. "Does he not show you enough? Because I've seen you look miserable this whole trip! And he's done nothing to alleviate that while Kiyomi struts all over him! Why Tohru?" The deep pensive pools of his eyes reflect something melancholy.

/

I just can't give him up. And it's not just because of the curse. I feel a deep connection with him. I'm in love with him.

This is love.

The aching need to always want to be with him.

Even if sleeping silently beside each other on the cold floor.

I came on this trip so I could see him.

"He's coming," I say panickingly, pointing in the direction of the man coming toward us, whose posture is stiff and his walk, unrelentingly.

"It's not over between us. I'll keep coming after you because I care. I won't let you suffer in silence. I won't lose you."

And with that, he stalks away.

"What was he doing to you?" Hatori says quietly when he's closed in on me and Shigure is out of range. His stance is wide and dominating and not happy. and he said "to you" instead of "with you" as if Shigure had a criminal history and was hurting me in some way. He is so untrustworthy of his friend. So cynical. Opposite of me.

I don't reply which serves to incite him more.

"Tell me." He insists.

"No-nothing. He just came to check up on me."

What gives him the right to confront me like this? I haven't said anything about the way he lets Kiyomi do whatever she pleases with him. I've seen her countless times stroke his arms, run her hands lovingly through his air, whisper in his ears.

I'm not blind.

Shigure noticed too as he so blatantly pointed out moments ago.

"He was all over you. What did he say to you?" He asks coldly, angry at himself for letting it happen. The sly dog was taking every opportunity, stealing every chance to see her, prove himself, play with her, test her emotions! Goddamn it! I tell him I care for her and this is what he does! Some friend!

I feel the aching need to defend Shigure. It's not his fault! Plus Hatori is being such a hypocrite - as if he hasn't just let Kiyomi drape her whole body over him and sleep in the same bed as him without any protest! He could have at least said something!

"Shigure hasn't laid a finger on me." I know that's all he wants to hear. I'm just a possession to him. I rise my hands in a defeated gesture. He clasps my hands and flattens out my palm, rubbing his thumb in gentle circles around the sore skin. "What happened here?" His assessive eyes bug out.

I look down to where his eyes are directed in horror. Below each of my fingers are red angry-looking calluses from working out in the garden yesterday. "Nothing."

"That's not what I want to hear," he says exasperatedly, running his fingers through his hair with a heavy sigh. "Please be honest with me." In a softer voice he adds, "Why won't you tell me?"

"What? What do you want from me? You haven't spoken a full sentence to me since we arrived here, and now you're showing concern? What do you want me to say to you now? You can't help me anyways, your hands are bound! It doesn't matter, because you can't do anything. You can't bandage me up without anyone seeing. You can't talk to me without everyone wondering why you would talk to silly old me! You, the distinguished family doctor slash university lecturer - a descendent of the pure Sohma line, and me, the lowly orphan who doesn't have two pennies to scrub together, who has to live on the charity of others, who doesn't have anything to offer except through the menial tasks like cooking and cleaning! I'm just a maid! And we are non-existent in society's eyes and... I don't deserve you." I'm nearly hysterical. I'm at the end of my period and my tether, but I try to stare at him straight in the eyes, masking my ire, not letting it get the better of my senses. But I can't. Tears streak my face, like rivulets of rain racing down the car windows, chasing each other. I start to hiccup like a pitiful creature, unable to catch enough breaths.

He wipes the tears away before he reaches out to grab my upper arms, pulling me into an embrace. "No." I cry. With a hasty move, I angle my body so I don't trigger the curse.

"I don't care anymore. I want to hold you.

I am the unworthy one, Tohru. And I want you to know..." How much I... He murmurs, touching my cheeks gently with his knuckles before his fingers splay across my heated face, holding me. Instinctively, my face nudges his hand lovingly. The touch is much needed, so familiar. My whole body is quivering like a leaf in a storm.

"You are everything to me."

Gripping my hips roughly, he lifts me and pins me against the stone and parts my legs with his strong, insistent thigh. My body obeys his physical command before my logic storms in dizzyingly. "We can't."

"Why?"

"He may come back."

"He won't."

"But what about... Kiyomi?"

Long pause.

"You're it for me. The only one. Do you think anyone else stands a chance?" I've lost my heart to you.

My breath hitches as I challenge, "Really?" My worries and insecurities are gnawing at me.

His mouth moves to the bottom of her neck, his head suspended in the same position that he had caught Shigure in moments earlier. His teeth nip at her skin, feeling the pulse racing beneath. I gasp in surprise at his boldness and arch my back a little, giving him total control over me. The butterflies in my stomach are fluttering nervously.

/

He's unable to look at the pained expression on her face. How can you still doubt me, my Tohru?

"You're it." All I need.

/

"We should head back before the others realize we've been gone too long. Kiyomi may come looking for you." My head is bent down because I don't want him to see the fear in my eyes. Or my distrust. Temptation. There are men who love their wives but still seek mistresses for the thrill and lust.

"Hey, hey," he coos, lifting my chin up, forcing me to look directly into his piercing eyes. "Nothing's happened between us, and nothing will."

"Wh-why does she lo...like you so much?"

He sighs before answering. "When we were young, she was alone to deal with the horrible aftermath of her parent's death. She was quiet and reserved like me, and somehow our shyness brought us together. We could sit beside each other by the lake for hours, reading or playing games or just looking at the clouds. We didn't ask each other difficult questions like 'how do you deal with the death of your parents' or 'do you think of them a lot' - we just survived with the help up each other. Having someone simply there made things better. I think she is confusing desire with dependency. Somehow, in her mind, I'm still that rock, her loyal friend. But it was only friendship from my end. I promise. I never cared for her in that way."

"Lots of relationships start from friendship. And you two have a lot in common and a lot of history... and Akito seems to agree." There I've said it. I've said what's been on my mind since Saturday.

"We have a lot in common too. I don't care about Akito's intent! I care about you! Your wellbeing. We can go home right now if you so desire. End this stupid game that puppet master Akito has tossed us into."

"No, I want to stay," I say, shaking my head. I don't want to be a sore thumb. I don't want to break the facade.

"Then let's continue to play the game. Beat her at her own game. Okay, Tohru?" He cups my cheek with one hand, tilting me face up to meet his. His eyes are windows to his soul - not dark and glossy and impenetrable, but open, for me. I can see the honesty, sincerity, pain in his eyes.

And my heart thumps in greedy want.

I want him all to myself.

Away from all this.

Our own paradise. Somewhere off in the quiet mountainside. A little veggie patch. A quaint cottage.

I nod in agreement. He's right. We have to maintain our cover. Two people already know - loud-mouthed "loose-cannon" Kyo (who luckily has kept his mouth shut in front of Akito despite his outburst and avoiding me since the 'incident') and secretive Shigure who seems to know something is 'different' about me and wants to find out what. "I'm sorry I've been so jealous and sulky."

Hatori looks at me with a quirked eyebrow. "Jealous?"

I nod bashfully.

He gives me one of his winsome semi-smiles before leaning down to capture my lips, groaning and kissing me passionately. "Kami, I'm aching to be inside you."

/

Pulling away reluctantly, Hatori leaves our secret spot first so that we don't attract any unwanted attention. Kiyomi bounds over to him with her hands on her hips. "So that's where you've been! I turn my back and you disappear. Come, let's swim out." She reaches out to clasp his hand and together they wade into the water until they are fully submerged.

We must conform to our roles. Remember that.

Let the games begin.

/

A/N: 7.21.13 - Finally, H confronts our sullen self-torturing Tohru. Did he soothe her enough? What else is in store?

Selenejade: Hey newbie! Finished in a day and a half, eh? Thanks gods for summer. :)

kouga's older woman: Thanks!

reiko . souma: AGREE! H needs to defend his woman! -sends him over to u for a little well-deserved butt-kickin'-

Tsukiakage: with someone has insecure as T, she definitely needs the reminders, esp. when there is Kiyomi prancing around in little triangle tops! I seriously want their to be a smokin' 3some... -wishing i could just plug that in somewhere-

lalamae: Thanks for the compliment - that's filling a hefty order. Wow. -grinning from ear to ear-

alwayskougascola: Shigure the go-getter!

Phenylephrine: More torture for H here! Your words always cheer me up!

Miaboo011: It went down! More angst to come! -waitin' on some makeup smex-

meghan166: THANKS!

Joscollia: Hehe, yeah.

NekoSkittles: U ARE TOTALLY RIGHT. I've corrected it in the previous chapter. Thanks for noticing that little problem. -bows down to ya- Ginger pork, me want some. :)

Blood Moon Rising154: Hehe, unsure about HxT or SxT. It's good that u are seeing things from Hator's perspective - he may be suffering even more than T 'cuz he can't fulfill any of his duties as a boyfriend in protecting her from Akito's wrath or Shigure's advances for fear of the others figuring out that they're having a relationship. So sad. Thanks for the review; nice to know there are still new readers!

manga666: Congrats for catching up! Your reviews made me so happy! Good luck with ur Yukiru! Start with a simple idea - it will develop itself! Twists and turns? U got it!

Winter Star light: Gure is so bold. H is definitely mad enough to send Gure to a closet for a long timeout as he ravishes T somewhere... hehe. Haha if Shuji appeared. All hell will break loose. Fists flying.

506 reviews, 68 alerts, 58 favs, 29030 hits. Thanks!


	64. Chapter 64: Between Us

Chapter 64: Between Us

/

Monday evening.

"How was the beach?" Yuki asks casually. He's resting on the couch with a thick looking book. Judging from all the colorful sticky bookmarks and dog-eared pages, it's some kind of study guide/ review material.

"Alright." Shigure replies.

His cheerful voice drifts into my muggy thoughts. I'm barely awake, having fallen asleep on the bus ride back. The rest of the trip went swimmingly well. I avoided all interaction with Hatori. I played the best I could. Our dirty little secret. After he confronted me and explained things, I felt ten times better, like the heavy iron anchor had been lifted from my shoulders. If only for a short spell before my nagging insecurities flood back. They are like a recurring virus I can't get away from.

But I still have that little problem with Shigure. He was being so characteristically dogged, yet sweet and thoughtful. And I wasn't about to take advantage of his sincerity. It's completely misplaced. We've been living together for years! Something didn't just happen overnight that made me desirable or something. I'm still plain old ditsy Tohru who likes to dress in obaasan attire, grow and harvest vegetables, and hum to herself when she's alone - an all-around hermit.

"Tohru, can I speak to you in my room?"

I can sense Hatori's head twist in the direction of the inquisitive, steely-grey eyed man.

"Uh, yeah."

I follow after Yuki until he closes the door behind us with a quiet click.

"What's up?" I ask in my cheeriest tone.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"It's just that you seem different."

Why is everyone saying that?

"In what way?"

"Well, you've been avoiding eye contact with us, particularly with me. At the lake, you ran off without letting the rest of us know. You've been slaving away in the kitchen and the backyard without rest. You keep on saying 'I'm fine' but I know you're not. I know you. If there is something wrong, you can tell me. I'm always here. I promise I won't judge you."

"No, I'm fine." I reiterate, shaking my head stubbornly.

Nothing I can tell you.

My personal burden.

Mine to bear.

As I reach for doorknob to leave - the air stifling me like during a humid rain shower, I hear three words that knock me out of my bubble, "Are you pregnant?"

I whirl around to face Yuki with utter shock etched onto my tired features. Whaa? Where did he get that impression?

"Did something personal happen, Tohru?"

"What makes you say that?" I bite back, a little too quickly, a little too harshly.

"You've been wearing really baggy clothing, avoiding eye contact, picking at your food, overstressing yourself to compensate for something else."

"Well, I'm not."

"Are you sure? I mean I could go to the drugstore and pick up a pregnancy test. No one would have to know..."

I slide down the wall and find myself in a heap, feeling the onset of a bout of useless laughter climbing up my throat. This is really crazy. Pregnant? I've been acting "pregnant"? Has Yuki been away from me for that long that he doesn't even recognize me, or have I really changed?

"You can tell me," he coaxes, pressing a firm hand to my back.

"Really, I'm not pregnant. I've just finishing my period, in fact."

"Oh," he says, immediately turning a bright shade of poppy red. "I feel so stupid. I'm sorry about that."

"No worry. I guess I have been acting out of the ordinary. I just didn't want to do anything to upset anyone. I wanted to be my best behavior so that Akito can see that I'm not so bad and I'm not infringing on her control or whatever. Yeah, I guess I've been pretty emotionally unstable." I end my statement with a light chuckle.

"Don't apologize to me. We're friends."

"Yeah."

He wraps an arm around me and pulls me against him for a semi-hug. It feels good to be embraced by someone who isn't on my mind and heart.

Yuki's in the clear.

Good for him.

Otherwise he could be tied down to unstable me.

"If you were pregnant, I'd be here for you. Always, Tohru." He says before emitting an uneasy chuckle. "I really don't have good intuition. I'll remember to keep my mouth shut from now one." Using his fingers, he pretends to zip up his mouth.

/

"Cliched campfire stories at 10." Shigure says in a sing-songy voice. It's fifteen til ten, and I'm around ready to hit the sack. I'm exhausted. My mind is replaying today's events in my head.

After the heavy weight in my chest was lifted, I enjoyed the rest of my time there. Shigure and Hatori set up the volleyball net and we played some three on three. Being the last to join, Ayame and Mine were forced to separate, much to Ayame's disappointment. He went to the other side of the net with a theatrical good-bye monologue. Shigure, Mine, and I on one team.

And of course, Kiyomi is an excellent volleyball player. She's everything I'm not. Coordinated, flirtatious, and drop-dead gorgeous without any makeup. Her ocean-misted hair dries into perfect beachy waves. When she dives for a ball - it looks effortless, not like some bumbling, flailing sea slug.

Growl.

As she dives for a ball that Shigure serves barely over the net, she slides along the sand and reaches it just in time. Ayame yips in excitement (he's more of a cheerleader than a player, secretly cheering for his girlfriend's side as well) and pulls her into a half-hug, avoiding chest contact of course. I see her close in on Hatori, but he only extends a hand and a quick nod of approval. My insides squee like a dozen happy Minions from the movie Despicable Me. Even though we're playing that "game", he's made a conscious effort to help ease my mind.

However, it isn't much consolation, since they'll be sleeping in the same room tonight. Again.

Harsh reality sets in.

Hatori stopped at a little westernized Chinese hole-in-the-wall place to order some dinner for the ravenous beasts at home. Since I'm always on the hunt of tasty new recipes, I ask him what he's ordered. Tonight we're having dim sum platter, Egg Drop Soup, Honey Walnut Shrimp, Sesame Chicken, Scallops with Lobster Sauce, Mixed Vegetables, Spicy Eggplant with Tofu, and a Green Onion Beef). So much food. Yeah, it sounds like a lot, but then again I have to realize that it's the same amount of food I've been preparing for the gang. We're halfway through the groceries and not even halfway through the trip! While we waited for the eight item order, we perused the small bookstore nearby.

"Hey Shigure! Even this mom-and-pop bookstore is selling your book!" Kiyomi is pointing at a shelf against the wood paneled wall that is labeled Bestsellers. Shigure walks up to the wall and sizes up the row dedicated to him. "Hey Tohru, Frozen Time is here!"

I approach the two of them standing side-by-side. I see a sexy looking black book - the equivalent of an appealing LBD, with a picture of a pretty girl with pin-straight hair in a sunflower-patterned sundress sitting cross-legged in the meadows. You can't see her face, adding to the mystery. The photo has a washed-out effect. It's different from the other covers I've seen of Shigure's books. The others all features scantily-clad girl posing in some pornographic positions. This is tame compared that that. "That cover is different from the one that I'm reading. She's really pretty. Did you pick her out?"

"As a matter of fact, I did. I was given several models' photos and asked to pick the one I liked the best. Subconsciously, I picked her. Surprisingly she has an innocent look rather than the sultry look I generally go for. And she's clothed. Surprise. Surprise. And now I know why." He mumbles the last sentence, realizing after that he said it outloud. Oops.

We both stand in silence looking at the book cover like it's the Mona Lisa at the Louvre before Hatori calls us out of the small bookstore to pick up our order.

/

"Come on Tohru," Ayame says, dragging me out of the back door. "It'll be fun."

Sure it'll be fun. I don't really want to hear stories about the trio and Kiyomi. Nor do I want to hear about Kiyomi's childhood. It hurts too much. It hurts that she is trying to catch Hatori's attention. I can see it in all her actions. The way she rubs her chest against his arm when she walks beside him. The way she sparkles her luminescent smile at him - that thing makes men weak in the knees. The way she addresses all his needs before he physically attempts to do it himself.

Ignorance is bliss, really.

As Shigure starts to ask questions and we all answer one by one in the circle, my mind drifts off, again. My mind is barely focused when my turn comes up.

"Carrot cake," I answer absentmindedly when it's my turn.

It isn't until a dark shadowy figure crosses my line of vision, startling me to the point when I physically jump from my seat, that I wake up. Shigure notices me from across the fire and says worriedly, "What's wrong, Tohru?"

I gulp loudly as the eerie black figure approaches the fire. In this lighting, it looks like deathly pale like a ghost. Just her small face is exposed, making it look like it is floating in contrast to the dark garments which seem to blend into the surroundings.

In front of her is a wheelbarrow.

/

Shigure stands up and walks up to her casually. "What brings you here, my Akito?" He eyes the contents of the wheelbarrow. "Alcohol? What's the celebratory occasion?"

Akito shifts uncomfortably under her heavy garments, but luckily no one can see the movements.

"Why did I not know about the secret stash? I would have made use of it much earlier." Shigure says with a smile. He's so easygoing and charming. It helps to ease the thick-as-butter tension among the rest of us.

"Just had it delivered a few hours ago."

Not wanting to incite her temper by asking her again what the occasion is, he offers his seat to her and goes to find another stone to sit on. He ends up a small distance behind Akito.

The only sound is the crackling of the fire. Everyone is frozen until Shigure gestures for us to 'liven up' by lifting the palms of his hands up in the air and swirling it around in an exaggerated movement. Ayame clears his throat and begins to rattle off a bunch of social games we can play.

"I think Ramble is a good game."

"What is that?" Hatsuharu asks.

"The three of us created it, motioning toward Shigure and Hatori."

We set a topic like 'European cities' or 'Stores' and each person has to list one. If they hesitate or can't think of one, they are out until their is one man standing."

"Or woman." Adds Kagura defensively.

After the first round, Akito stands up and goes to the wheelbarrow. All eyes follow her. Shigure gets up and follows her to the wheelbarrow. As Akito is rummaging inside it for something, Shigure pulls up a bottle from the cardboard holder. "Everclear? Are you serious, Akito?"

"I did my research."

"On what, getting us all to pass out after one shot? That thing is like 190 proof."

"I brought some pineapple and orange juice."

"Jungle juice. It's still a potent concoction. We're all lightweights here if you haven't noticed. None of us can endure this kind of buzz. Do you want us all the pass out and end up sleeping with some stranger? Let's keep looking. Oh, see here, much better. There's sake, shochu, whiskey, gin. Much safer choices. Did you bring a mixer, ice, and cups?"

Akito nods.

"Any snacks?"

"No."

"Then let's get the party started."

The mood is definitely somber and not "party-friendly." Despite the dim lighting that is supposed to make everything 'rose-colored', everyone face looks ashen.

Why is Akito plying us with alcohol?

It's doesn't seem like her style.

She doesn't like "messes" and buying that potent liquor is only going to cause problems - slurred words, loose lips, puking, blacking out. I haven't experienced much "drunken" behavior (except for the aftermath of one man known as my landlord Shigure Sohma), but I know enough about the effects. It isn't pretty. And far too detestable for the high-class Sohma line.

/

Shigure turns into the bartender and begins mixing alcohol with ice and juice. His fingers are deft as he pours the brew into red cups and passes it around to those who are of age. He tries to tempt Momiji, but he isn't having any of it.

"Go away Gure. I'm not going to let you tempt me like you do girls."

"You think so lowly of me."

Momiji sticks his tongue out at the pouting man.

Kiyomi unabashedly asks Shigure to make her a fruity drink. which he obliges with a "Hai, my princess."

He is such a man-whore.

I shake my hand when he offers me a cup. "Are you sure, little flower?" He says teasingly before moving onto the next person. When it's Hatori's turn, I see him out of the corner of my eye following suit and waving his hands.

"Why are you not drinking, Hatori? Is it not to your liking?" Akito suddenly says.

"I think it's important since I'm the only capable driver here." He replies with a precise, practiced tone. "Just in case something were to happen."

"Please, I insist. We'll all be staying in tomorrow anyways. It's over 40 degrees Celsius (100 degree F)."

"Thank you, but I decline."

"I insist." She says firmly, pointedly offering him a cup that is filled to the brim with some orange concoction.

Hesitantly, Hatori takes it and lifts it to his lips for a sip. All the while, Akito watches him.

/

A/N: 7.24.13 Preview: Drunken Kiyomi in next chapter... comin' soon!

Blood Moon Rising154: Don't ever apologize for getting emotional! I'm glad! It's good that you are seeing it from different angles! Gure has definitely been affected by T. And we're seeing him being all watchful and devoted. Aww.

Tsukiakage: Gure is takin' action! Hatori, take note! Claim your woman!

Selenejade: YAY, loyalty! Hehe, glad I've converted you! Means a lot. TxH, TxS are my ship. Love 'em.

reiko . souma: Hehe, you're cute! H definitely needs a backbone. Man up!

Duckie: Hehe to sentence completion. -hands you Gure in puppy form with his tail between his legs, feeling sad and ashamed- Your comment about H dropping T a message... SERIOUSLY. Dude, do something about your girl. Her thoughts are doing her a lot of damage. Smut will happen. Doncha worry! (Thinking in 2 to 3 chappies...) I think it's been 10 chapters since last smut... too long... I'm thinking this "trip" is gonna be like friggin' 20 chapters or something. Yes, I have issues.

miaboo011: U no likey Gure? -he cowers in the corner after reading your comment- Hehe, get on your story, missy!

Manga999: Yep, Gure ain't afraid. And good luck with your story. Angst?

may96: missed ya! Hating everyone...hehe.

ChristmasEveBrat: haven't heard from u in a while. glad you're back!

meghan166: Shuji, Shuji, Shuji. Unfortunately, he won't be joining us on this 'lovely' vacation. But much in store when T gets back to school...

kouga's older woman: YAY!

malus the sayin: So hateful toward Gure! :)

Phenylephrine: Haha, Gure-lover. -sends you back to PMLT or WIWU- Gure wears his best robes before teleporting to your closet.

Infinity1: Gure is a crazy. His confession was pretty mind-blowing to T. She's in utter shock, but to busy with the other drama to think about that. Poor Gure, stands no chance. LOVE ACTUALLY. OMG, I love Alan Rickman. The voice. Melts. That scene with him and Mr. Beans (sorry Rowan Atkinson) was hilarious. I can watch that on a loop. Sybil Trelawney and and Severus Snape... ooo! "my health and yours" - hehe made me smile! I have the best readers! muaw!

Joscollia: Hehe, yep yep!

521 reviews, 69 alerts, 58 favs, 29819 views!


	65. Chapter 65: Bottled Up

**Chapter 65: Bottled Up**

/

Her brow is set in concentration, as if she can manipulate him with the sheer intensity of her stony stare. Like a frightened schoolgirl, I look away.

"Do not disobey me, pet."

It's the first time I've heard her say that and it sends a chilly shiver straight down my back. I feel like I've been doused with a bucket of ice. This is for real. This isn't a nightmare. Akito is sitting less than two meters away from me, breathing. And she's requested for Hatori to down a glass of very, very potent liquor.

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see him drinking down the bitter, scalding liquid. His prominent Adam's apple bobs up and down as the drink burns his throat. I can almost feel his pain in the way his face scrunches up distastefully, his lips turned down into a frown. After he finishes, Akito turns her head away and says to Shigure, "More sake, please." She stretches out her spidery hand with her cup. Shigure quickly hides his wide-eyed look of shock at the scene before him and busies himself with preparing her drink.

_What the fucking hell just happened_?

As everyone is drinking and peering over the rim of their plastic cup steathily (except for the underage who are wringing their hands nervously), waiting for the next instruction, Akito says out of the blue: "Let's play Spin the Bottle."

Hatsuharu nearly coughs up all his drink as he raises his eyebrows in shock. "Uh, isn't that rather... incestuous?"

"It's just a game. Humor me." Akito replies coldly, snapping her fingers at him, thereby ending the conversation immediately. The word 'game' reminds me of Hatori's lasting words. The two of us are merely playing a game of avoidance for the greater good. Being together. _Don't sweat the little things, Tohru_. Because after this whole twisted week, life will return back to normal. You will have your personal space again. You will be able to see him at school and other places. Privately. Not this media circus thing going on with everyone scrambling around us.

/

I don't know what she's playing at, but it's making me feel queasy.

"Plus, there is enough new blood." She says, the words echoing in my head.

Huh?

_New blood._

She says it so casually when in reality, it is a very touchy subject for the Sohmas.

I'm holding my breath as the first round commences. The spinning sound of the green glass bottle on the dirt ground is white noise in my numbing mind. I don't need alcohol to numb me, my own worrying thoughts are enough.

The bottle decides the fate of two people.

Hiro and Kisa. _Phew_. Despite how crass Hiro behaves sometimes, we all know deep down how much he loves Kisa. Treasures her, wants to protect her at any and all cost. I can see the confusion and shock play across his face. When Akito found out about Hiro's love for Kisa, she hurt her. Hiro thought the best way to protect Kisa was to avoid her.

But eventually it became too difficult.

And love has a way to figuring things out.

They met in private, similar to what Hatori and I do.

Luckily they are still in high school. The safest place for them at this age.

And now Akito's just going to let them kiss?

Too much for me to comprehend!

After Kisa grabs onto his outstretched hand, he pulls them toward the thickest tree and disappearing behind it. All we can see is the flutter of her faded pink skirt.

"Please step out of the shadows so that we can all see you." Akito calls out in a steady voice - much like a police officer catching a bad guy. The two younger Sohmas step out from behind the tree looking confused.

"Do it where we can all see." Akito says, clapping her thighs with a solid thunk. She's perched on the rock like some excited spectator at a sold-out performance. Only, the performers are innocent animals captured and forced to become show animals for one person's perverse amusement.

I can see the other Sohmas squirming in their seats, not wanting to look at this intimate slice of life.

This could even be their first kiss. It should be special. A memorable backdrop. Sweet. Romantic. Fumbling. Innocent.

It shouldn't be witnessed and scrutinized by other people.

"Everyone, please look at our two participants."

They stand toe to toe, awkwardly. Playing close attention, I can see their hands trembling. Gods... Both are staring at the dirt on the ground, silently apologizing for the mockery, _no, butchery_ of what is supposed to be something sacred. I've never seen Hiro so calm before. His face is not contorted into the usual sneer or frown, but blank. A little lost. Sad. And Kisa, my poor girl. My heart is dropping, and shattering like glass across a hard pavement. She looks about ready to cry. But I know she won't. She doesn't want the others to think of her as weak. She's trying so hard to change, to become stronger.

And this thing... this is going to tear down her willpower.

With a look of steely resolve, Hiro leans down to kiss his girl, the most gentle, unobtrusive peck at the side of her tight-lipped mouth. He knows she's not ready and does not pressure her for more. Afterwards, they look back at Akito who gives them a satisfactory, clinical nod.

After they return to their seats, cheeks burning bright, Akito says with a flourish, "Who's next?"

Her pale ghastly face seems alight with a malice. The shadows on her face seem to carve out her prominent features like an malevolent jack-o-lantern. She's beyond redemption. She's hurting those under her guidance and control.

She's sick.

And all for what?

Because she's in love with someone who doesn't acknowledge her?

As she spins the bottle in the next round of torture, she lands on Yuki and Kagura.

Months ago, I would have been a jealous mess, but now I am just... indifferent. Yeah, that's the word. Ayame does a little cheer from the corner of the clearing. "Go go little brother!" Ayame the cheerleader. He's trying to make the best of the situation, which I'm sure he is the best at doing, since he's one of the oldest with the most opportunities and experiences, but still...

Kagura initiates the quick, soundless kiss, before wiping the back of her hand across her lips disgustedly.

/

Kiyomi is drinking a lot and no one is stopping her. Hatori gives her a stern reprimand at one point, but nothing more. Everyone is afraid of angering the temperamental Akito, so they remain quiet. Each and to their own.

The game goes on, unlikely pairs going up for an uncomfortable smooch. The only laughter we get is when Yuki and Kyo are forced to confront each other. The looks of disdain on both of their faces is funny to look at. Mirror reflections of each other. Pure loathing disgust.

As everyone starts to drink and loosen up, most of the initial awkwardness is gone, but not for me. I've pretended to take sips from the opaque plastic cup, but I can't drink. My throat is dry. I'm afraid of losing myself. I have to stay sober. For our sake.

Hatori's already been forced to down the equivalent of three shots. But so far he's managed to keep his lip shut. He's not as much of a lightweight as I'd thought. Good for him.

Good for us.

_Us_.

/

At about round thirteen, Akito calls out Hatori and Kiyomi.

I can see the others moving around restlessly, feeling the buzz.

My heart is about ready to thump out of my chest. _Please don't let this mean anything_.

I've kissed Kagura and Ayame. Awkward, but meaningless. But this? C_an they separate the act from the traditional meaning behind it_?

Kiyomi stands up unsteadily on her feet, tilting her head back for a final swig out of the sake bottle. Large gulps. Not sure when she got a hold of a whole bottle. I've been so consumed by everything I haven't been able to take notice of the little details, until now.

The moment of truth.

She throws the half empty bottle behind her. It lands noisily on the ground, the clear liquid surely spilling out and saturating the parched soil.

Shattering glass.

Shattering heart.

Those around her lend a hand to steady her stumbling form as she tries to find her balance. Hatori manages to propel her safely to the "kissing ring" without walking into the fire or stumbling over a tree root. Her limbs are loose and relaxed - but not clumsy, swaying to her own music.

She's faultless.

Ayame clasps his hands in anticipation and whispers to Mine, "He may now kiss the bride."

I guess everyone can tell how much Kiyomi cares for Hatori.

Returning my eyes back to the painful scene unfolding in front of me, a lump catches in my throat. My eyes are burning with unshed tears. It's blurring my vision, but I'm afraid to lift my sleeve to clean it away. I don't want to attract unwanted attention. Ugh, I'm so pathetic.

Kiyomi steps on her tiptoes and wraps her arms around Hatori's neck. With Akito's hawk eyes focused on them, Hatori stares back at the willow thin girl in his arms. She is drunk and happy, and sloppily tickling the base of his neck with her fingers.

/

_I want him_! This is what she says to herself as she digs her blunt nails into his neck, wanting, needing to feel him against her, moving, alive. She's needed this for years. Yearning, craving for him while away at university, in another world. She's hasn't been able to stop thinking about him. No matter how many guys have tried to woo her, no one compares.

She wants him bad. She wants him swift and hard. And out of control. She wants him to lose control _for her_.

And it's okay if it hurts along the way, because that's a real feeling. It'll make it all worth it in the end. _Yes, I can make it happen. With effort. As long as I try by best, something worthwhile will come out of it_. _We're both new at this whole love thing, right_? This concept of love is so foreign to her. And it isn't living up to what she expected.

But hurt. It's something tangible. Real.

She wants him in the worst way. To take her. Show some emotion.

He's been so wooden.

Despite all her flirting and teasing, he's still cold towards her.

What's happened during the time they've been separated?

They haven't had a private moment except in the bedroom and she hasn't been able to ask the questions. _Tell me. Open up to me_.

_I'm broken too, but let us fix each other_.

Before she overthinks everything, she lets to liquid courage take over and slides her wet lips over his chapped lips. She's observed him the whole day biting on his lips, like something troubling has been on his mind. She nips at his bottom lip, tasting the acrid residue of the liquor slip over her lips and burn her tongue. She savors it. Thus far, it's been the only real contact with him, albeit forced. When he doesn't push her away, she proceeds forward with more audacity.

Her hands tighten around his nape, clutching him like he's the last stronghold in a storm. She's pressing her cheek into his chest, looking away from everyone else, into the darkness of the forest. Indulging in the moment. One hand unravels itself from his back and pauses a millimeter away from his soft cheeks before running a finger down his cheek.

_You healed me the best you could when I was ruined._

_And now, let me_...

/

The tears wash over me in streams, ceaseless. I'm swimming in my own tears. I've cast my head down so no one can see me. A hood and a pair of sunglasses, please.

I know it's for the best.

This kiss that they are sharing.

Throw them off our scent.

I know it's not real.

That he cares about me.

But it's too tangible. I see the desperation in her eyes, the need wafting from her in heavy waves. The watery desire in her eyes, the look toward him as if he's her last salvation.

Her only hope.

_And my heartbreak_.

/

"Okay, enough of this." Akito snaps us all out of our collective trance. "Shigure, clean this up. Everyone else, head home. Now."

Akito picks herself up, all her billowing black robes and heads in the direction of the villa. The others meekly follow suit. I can see Hatori lingering behind, trying to catch my eye. But I can't look at him without feeling hurt and resentment.

He kissed another girl. I feel betrayed even thought I know it wasn't his decision. A little part of me is still faulting him.

Kiyomi is clinging onto him like a wobbling fawn.

"Why don't you take her home," Shigure says in a serious tone. "She doesn't look too well. She's going to have a terrible hangover tomorrow. Be ready for it, roommate."

Shigure is the only other levelheaded one. I'm surprisingly he got away without drinking anything. _He's the object of Akito's affections, right? Didn't she want a chance with him too? Then why have her words and actions been so... unkind_?

Hatori doesn't follow Shigure's order, insteading staring back at the shaggy-haired man with a venomous scowl.

"I'd like to make sure Tohru gets back safety."

_There's no need to hide it between us. Shigure's stepped over the boundary. And so will I. I will make sure he knows of my affections for Tohru. Loud and fucking clear._

"Worry about your own bedmate, I'll worry about mine."

/

A/N: 7.26.2013 - HiHi! - will post next chapter by this weekend - look out for it! You are all in for a smutty brownie treat!

Random Question: Do you like quiet guys or talkative guys?

Blood Moon Rising154: I love fangirly emotions (eats them for breakfast, lunch and dinner) - cuz I can relate! Surprisely, Shigure stayed sober. But drunken H and K... I'm glad you are so eager! Squee!

miaboo011: Hehe, no love for S in this story. Hehe. Must find a way for you to see that he is a redeemed man!

Tsukiakage: Teehee wink wink! Yep, Akito is a rhymes-with-stitch.

kouga's older woman: Yep yep!

malus the sayin: when i say your username in my head, it has an accent. dunno why. First time we see a drunk H. Luckily (or unluckily, depending on how much drama you want to see), he is pretty sober.

Manga999: Deathnote - never read/saw - but it has such a chilling name... hehe. This story is headed into weirdness. BAHAHAHA - HxT to SxT to HxS) jkjk

reiko . souma: Gods, I love your twist. That's so my type of twist. -dancing over forbidden thingies- Love it. :)

Joscollia: IT'S COMING, IT'S COMING! Ooo, I definitely want a TxS one-night-stand, but alas, can't get either of them drunk enough. Need to slip 'em some... nvm. You never heard that. :) So sad for Yuki... very awkward... inner monologue: Oops. I'm gonna go hide in a corner and never look at Tohru again. YOUR RAMBLING IS NOT LAME. I love it!

Traceless-Poison: Hehe, seriously, T and H are growing apart... while S roams free. Angst is my favorite. I seriously only read angst. Misunderstandings are always fun~ Yep, we're definitely seeing Gure's 'other' side. He's a very perceptive guy who could be super romantic (given his background in that)... and perverted. He definitely respects T. He sees her as an equal, not as some one-time fling. That's why he hasn't outright tried to sleep with her. Plus, he still has some morals. Bahaha.

kris11993: Missed ya from last chappy! MINIONS! I really want some. OMG, I love your little scenario. So twisted and perverse - just the way I like it. :) What is Yuki up to? We haven't really heard much about his activities in Tokyo...

Missybeautimus: NEWBIE! Your message made me squeal in delight! -sends H to your doorstep to bow down to you- Thanks for your kind words. Glad you are seeing Tohru's insecurities in my writing. Glad you don't think the story is OOC - my biggest fear! ANGST - that's me. :) Glad you enjoy the side-plots - anyone need a dose of SHUJI? Anime writer? -fans self- too kind - that would be so friggin' cool! If only I could draw too - then I could spread my evils everywhere! -cough world domination- Ooooo you are a TxH fan too? Just about to ask! Cool. Unfortunately, there aren't many long stories featuring them. Hence, me. Don't worry, I will not abandon this story! I've read some incomplete stories over 100K and it breaks my heart. Because I get so invested. :(

Glad I've made your life more interesting! MUAW for coming out of !

533 review, 69 followers, 59 favs, 30250 hits!


	66. Chapter 66: Bared to You

/ Warning: scenes of smutty nature (at long last!). Longest chapter to date! Enjoy and leave your comments -wink,wink-!

**Chapter 66: Bared to You**

/

"Good night, Shigure."

"Sweet dreams, Tohru."

/

Watching her obediently follow Shigure back to the house is like the dullest blade slicing open his chest. And looking down at the drunken girl slumped against him only twists the blade. Never has he felt this way. Never has a woman bewitched him like this. Bringing anger and desire to clash. _Only Tohru, my unlikely temptress_. _You don't even have to do anything to ignite the fiery passion inside me, send me to my personal hell... how am I suppose to act cold and distant toward you when my insides are burning and twisting, making me feel sick because of how much I want you?_

_I'm miserable this way... don't you know_?

"I'm sleepy," the bane of his existence says in a slurred voice. He can feel her hot breath against his arm. _Gods... I don't want this._

_I don't want her._

_Why can't I have what I want_?

"We're going." He says with an angry grunt.

"Not yet," she protests, giving him an imploring stare and shaking his arm a little.

Swallowing back disgust over what had happened between them - that forced kiss, he yanks on her arm as he trudges back toward the villa with her in tow. Her whimpering mewls and ill-fated attempts to root her feet to the ground don't relax his grip nor his quick pace.

The house is silent inside when he closes the door a little too forcefully, causing the windows to shake in their frames.

Once the windows settle, all is quiet again.

Large amounts of alcohol tended to break down even the most rambunctious of men. It's good that he doesn't have to deal with anyone right now. No cheery Ayame (who seemed to side with Akito when he did his little cheer to Kiyomi and Hatori's kiss), no thieving-harassing-bastard Shigure with ulterior motives, no sulky, evil-eyed Kyo, and no silent, perceptive, all-seeing Yuki (second in command for the title of "God") and said God. Everyone is behind closed doors, barricaded from his wrath.

Good for them.

He begrudgingly helps Kiyomi remove her strappy sandals and get into bed. He doesn't bother to help her remove her sake-drenched-short-shorts, because he doesn't care. He doesn't want to give her another excuse to seduce him. He's had enough of her.

_I don't want to care about anything else. I don't want to be responsible for anything else but her. _

_Tohru. _

_Mine. _

_Mine first_.

While he turns his back to Kiyomi to remove his T-shirt, which reeks of the acrid cloying smell of alcohol, he hears the woman behind him moaning inaudibly.

He ignores her and continues working the sticky shirt off of himself. But four clearly stated words causes his head to snap back. "Hatori, did you know, that was my first kiss-"

"No." He interrupts. That can't be true. Must be her drunken words.

He doesn't care about her emotions. Maybe once upon a time when they were both broken and in need of companionship - a real friend. But that's over now. And she's really made a mess of things - getting completely drunk like that. It's unsightly for anyone, especially a typically well-adjusted woman to lose control like that. She's not a girl anymore. She can't hide behind that. If this is what she did in college - no doubt she would have been mocked and then taken advantage of. What is with all these females who don't care about their own well-being? Willing to throw away everything...

When he turns around bare-chested to rummage the closet for a clean shirt, she is sitting in bed, looking completely lucid. Gone are the shiny, distant eyes and unintelligible words. It's like some horror movie.

Her eyes search the lines of his worn face, gazing into his hard eyes, soul-searching, pleading with him to show her a thimble worth of affection. But all she can see a barricade.

That always-in-place-barricade. Unyielding.

There are dozens of warning signs she's chose to ignore - the subtle deflections from any 'personal' topic, the poker-faced stares, the one-word gritted responses, the complete and total oblivion.

All for that flicker of hope.

Resuming their easy friendship and elevating it to something more.

Because she loves him.

Her childhood crush.

She rises out of the bed and moves toward him silently, blocking him from retrieving a shirt. Kiyomi reaches out, placing her hands over his hard broad chest. She tentatively splays her hands over the taut skin, feeling him under her icy fingers, before retracting them like the wings of butterflies. She wants to memorize the smooth texture. As her long fingers glide down to feel his heartbeat - to check that he does indeed have a heart - he catches her hand tightly in his. He holds it up, like she's an mischievous child who has just stolen a cookie.

Before he can scold her again, she says frantically, "I'll do anything." "Give me a chance - don't turn me away. Don't leave me like everyone else has, please. Anything. I'll do anything. Just please. Give me a chance."

Hatori closes his eyes and tilts his back for a long breath before looking back down at her and with a frustrated hiss, says, "Kiyomi. You're drunk. If you're still like this tomorrow, I'll really have to tell you the truth. I can't be with you. I have someone else."

She doesn't hear him and her fingers grow more insistent. They thread into the silky onyx strands of his hair, willing him to react to her touch. A flinch even, to let her know that some part of him wants her.

That she isn't alone.

Like she's been all her life.

A free-floating seed in the harsh realities of life. Carried by the wind in any which direction. No place to settle.

I want to find a home.

I want to find a place to set my roots.

I want _you_.

He stumbles back when he shoves her away. The shift of his body heat leaves her bereft as she crawls back into bed with a long cat-like yawn, too tired to think anymore. _New beginnings_, she thinks to herself before falling into a much-needed deep sleep.

/

After getting dressed and making sure Kiyomi is dead asleep (based on the smooth rise and fall of her breathing), he cracks the door open to make sure the hall is empty. He doesn't want to confront anyone right now.

_Fuck everyone_.

He can't bear it any longer. This being away from Tohru.

These past few days have really tested his endurance. And it's painfully obvious he has none. He hasn't had a peaceful thought without her plaguing it. Every time he sees a guy - it doesn't matter that they are his cousins - around her, his senses go into sensory overload - he's eavesdropping, paying careful attention, scrutinizing every movement to make sure that nothing is happening between them. His Tohru and some guy. Because he's a green-eyed jealous bastard. He wants to be the only object of her affections.

He steps into the hallway as silent as a mouse, twisting the doorknob behind him soundlessly before locking it in place. After brushing his teeth to remove the grimy, slick feeling in his mouth, he decides to place a gamble and knocks softly on the door of the girls (and that lecherous leech) room. He's praying that Tohru is still up and answers and not that damn, groveling bastard!

/

My sensitive ears hear a small hollow sound coming from the door. I'm not sure if I'm hearing things or not (given all of today's surprises, I wouldn't be shocked). I decide that it wouldn't hurt to check, since I'm not sleepy. I should go wash my face anyways - remove the dried salty stain of tears on my cheeks.

I was sleepy before the campfire, but now I'm wide awake, listening to the steady breathing of the girls and one not-so-bad guy beside me. Despite his very forward, brash actions, I can see his vulnerable, attentive side. I'm probably the only one, but especially these past few months I've noticed.

It's sweet.

If he's like that with all girls... I can definitely understand why they'd fall irrevocably in love with him.

I open the door to Hatori clad in black from head to toe. I give him a befuddled look before nudging my head toward the living room after collecting my senses. I close the door behind me soundlessly before following him into the living room. As I begin to open my mouth to ask him what we're doing - in the early morning, in the dark, he puts a finger to my lip to silence me. He takes my hand in his and pulls me toward the back door.

He doesn't speak to me until we're behind the shed. "What are we doing?" I ask in a quivering voice. "Aren't we supposed to keep up the pretense?"

"Not tonight." He replies with a dark, wanton look in his eyes.

/

I know what he wants and I want it to. It's been torture trying to keep my emotions under wraps. I didn't want a sudden outburst of unbridled lust in a house full of people. And it's worked fairly well. _Until now_...

That one look sends me into a different place...

And I'm breathless because Hatori's come to me _this time_.

Is it the first time?

He moves in toward me until he's flush against me, his thick erection pressed into my stomach. There's nothing for a few winded moments. Just us staring into each other's eyes - and then I feel his palm flatten against the small of my back, holding my trembling body as close to his as possible. He leans down and kisses me. It's gentle and coaxing and sweet. As his tongue delves into my mouth, I expect to taste bitter traces of his drink, but instead I taste mint, and something intoxicating, indescribable, but distinctly Hatori. _My love_.

I place my hands against the muscular planes of his chest to separate us before I accidentally get too close and trigger the curse. He pulls apart my shaking arms, leaving barely any space between us. "Don't care." He rumbles out in a ragged sound. He's not afraid of transforming in the heat of the moment? What's happened to his usual responsibility in fool-proofing everything? Ensuring that everything is in his control? Struggling against my better senses as well, I give into him completely. I can feel his hot breath on every quick exhale, his grip tighten across my back when I twine my arms around his neck to hold him as close to me as possible. I want to feel every part of him - to drown in his distinct masculine scent, his warmth, the sweet harmony of his moans as he slides into me.

I want to surrender to him without any repercussion, any fear.

"Tohru," he says, his voice quivering with desire, before he latches his mouth to the sensitive spot right below my ear and kissing down the length of my jaw, heading for the little dip along my collarbone. His restless hands slip under my shirt and trails up the line of my spine until he reaches the neckline before guiding the fabric off my body. I lift my arms up as he tugs it off me and tosses it carelessly to the ground, baring me to him completely. Then his hands drop to my waist and deftly slips the dragonfly-print men's boxers off my hips. When the swirl of navy fabric pools at my feet, I step out of the circle easily. At the same moment, Hatori falls to his knees, looking up at me with the most desperate look I've ever seen grace his sharp, usually collected features. Under tonight's full moon, I can see everything with startling clarity.

I look down at him in such a submissive position, my face blooming with color, and I start to bend down too. I can't see him like this, looking at me reverently. We're equals. I can't have him like this.

I'm choking up.

"Don't," he murmurs, gripping my waist to keep me firmly rooted in place, standing above him.

His eyes drift away from mine, down the length of my self-conscious body before settling on the dark thatch between my wobbly legs. He gulps before asking in a husky voice, "A-are you still on your period?"

Ever the thoughtful gentleman before being a lover.

I shake my head and I swear I see a flood of relief pass over his features. It makes me giggle a little inside. A stoic professional acting a little sex-hunger. I need a mental camera to capture these honest moments. These heart-swelling, panty-wetting snapshots in time. He remembers. He cares. I wrap my arms around my torso tightly, trying to quell the nervous flutterings in my stomach as he looks over me. My body has never been under such intense scrutiny. Every centimeter of my skin is burning. He presses a soft kiss along my protruding hip bone before repeating the same attention on the other side. My heart is beating a wild pattern against my chest in anticipation of his next move.

"Beautiful, but too thin," he murmurs against the thinly stretched skin across that particular area. "Does this hurt?" He says, pressing his thumb firmly against the skin.

I shake my head and reply, "No. Sorry I'm so pointy."

"No, you're perfect the way you are." He compliments, his eyes twinkling with lust.

His hands roam from my waist down to the curve of my bottom, where he teases me with light touches and tight pinches and long sweeping caresses. Everything he does is spontaneous, throwing me off his trail. It causes me to gasp loudly, squirming in his gentle hold. A flood of moisture dampens the curls between my legs, making me feel sensitive and painfully aware of me own needs. But I'm willing to let this glorious teasing go on for a little longer.

After he's had enough fun watching me fidget and squirm like a fool, he drags his finger across my abdomen to my intimate place. His deft middle finger slides from my perineum through my soaking seam, slow enough to set little sparks of pleasure rippling through me before arriving at my aching nub - aching for his touch. His only. I feel dizzy and faint, so I grab ahold of his head to make sure I don't fall.

He touches me with just enough pressure until I'm desperate for release - whimpering, thrusting, and clutching at him. Using his other hand, he pulls my thigh apart to give him better access to my womanhood. I close my eyes and tilt my head backward, moaning softly as I enjoy his attention. He alternates between plunging his finger into my soaking pussy and caressing the walls and circling my clit with the utmost care. As I feel my desperation rise, I start to rock hard against his hand, at the right angle, with the right amount of force and speed to quench my insatiable need. Small shudders rise up inside me, like little volcanic aftershocks - sending me into a delirious state. I'm crying out as I continue to move my hips in the same frenzied pace, waiting for the familiar tug in my belly.

While my head is still tilted back, he spreads my legs apart, lifting one over his shoulder before parting my intimate area with two fingers and replaces his finger with his soft, slick tongue. He sucks, laves and circles my clit methodically, patiently. _Gods_ much to my dismay this position makes me feel so weak. I don't think I'd stop if the forest was crashing down behind us. The one leg that I'm standing on feels like jelly. Luckily I'm semi-resting my body on his shoulder. As I feel his nose burrow into my sensitive spot, nuzzling, I feel discomfort bubbling up my throat - leading me to choke on my saliva. Ugh. I am ruining the mood. But soon, I swallow it down and resume living in the moment. The tickling sensation that spreads in my lower half and the soft noises he's making send me into a hedonistic place. All I can do is concentrate on the pleasure that is coursing through me. All my embarrassment and girly insecurities abandon me - temporarily at least, leaving me desirous and achy and needy. It doesn't even register in my mind that I may be bathing his tongue in my fluids - which feel like they are pouring from my core like thick honey.

If it does, he doesn't make any objections about it. My legs are trembling as he remains steadfast in bringing me to climax. The tantalizing sensation of his moist tongue circling my nub and sucking upon it gently, sends me to the edge.

My heart lodges in my throat and I'm unable to speak. My hands grip his head, threading through his silky hair, tugging just enough to warn him that I'm about to come. An unspoken rule, he continues to lap my pleasantly sore clitoris and inserts a finger into me, probing, exploring rhymically, finally bringing me over the edge. I let out a muffled cry in my hands, as sweet rapture finally sweeps me away from this world, my body exploding into passionate smithereens.

As the shivers cease and the muscles inside my channel slow down their contractions, Hatori eases me to the spongy, manicured green lawn before shifting himself over me, settling between my parted legs. He studies my face for a little while.

Hopefully the lazy smile of my face tells him just how much I enjoyed that. _Perfect_.

"I need you," he says as a prerequisite. _I need you so badly. I can't promise it won't hurt. A dark part of me needs to feel you pulsing all around me. Letting me know that I'm alive and you're still by my side. I just want to feel you._

_I don't want to ever lose you_.

/

While he leans on one elbow, his hand trails to her limp arms, his fingers caressing the inside of her elbow, before adjusting both of her arms up over her head, so that her body is unobstructed to his viewing. _Mine_.

He looks down at her and she nods, giving him silent permission to do whatever he wants with her tonight.

He needs it after tonight's nightmare.

/

In this moment, he realizes that his body knows, even if his mind is unable to put together _those_ words.

His body only desires her.

Despite all Kiyomi's little cropped tops, ticklish touches and bold flirtation, it did nothing to awaken his primal needs.

Instead, seeing his fully-dressed, prim Tohru doing something as trivial as washing dishes (not that chores are trivial) made him reckless and his cock hard to the point of pain. The pull he feels toward her is indescribable.

And at time _reckless_.

It pushes himself out of his comfort zone.

It's just that... he ceases to be... without her.

He can't put it into intelligible words.

He leans into the dip of her throat and inhales her soft scent of honey and milk. It reminds him of...

_Babies_. Innocent. Natural.

_Uh, where did I get that_? He mentally shakes his head for that tangent thought. Getting this worked up was frying his brain!

"Kami, just give me this." He moans before seeking out her lips frantically, afraid that this is just a dream, that this perfect moment will dissolve like sand. Slip through his fingers like everything in his life - leaving him a cold and bitter man. But not now.

He has her.

And she makes everything better.

_My remedy_.

They are pressed so closely together that it's almost impossible to tell where one ends and the other begins, their hard and soft parts meshing together into one. He finally comes up for a breath before leaning over again and placing a kiss on her forehead, on each of her eyes, and the tip of her nose before finding her lips again. He revels in her small movement and the mewls that escape her delicious lips that are ripe as blood. As he's keeping her thoroughly occupied, his deft hand reaches toward his heavy sex to loosen the drawstrings of his lounge pants before tugging them off urgently, exposing his rock-hard, straining cock. His eyes are like molten lead as he watches her small and delicate and delightfully _his_. It takes him several trials to enter her small opening - maybe because he is too eager. When he finally plunges inside her, he groans in satisfaction. He waits for both of them to get accustom to the new sensation. His kisses turns hard and greedy, equal to the sure movements of his hips as he begins to move inside her.

As his movements increase, Tohru finds herself squeezing her brow together in concentration, wanting to feel the waves of pleasure again. She can feel every ridge and vein of his manhood inside her. _I want to come with him, sail over the waves of pleasure_. _Together_.

Despite the feeling roiling within her, he comes first with a strangled cry, shuddering, succumbing to his earthly desires, all anxiety melting away. His body goes rigid for a brief second before sinking into her deeply, completely. She grinds against him, milking every last drop from him. Afterwards, he is spent and exhausted, mentally and physically.

But as always, he remembers her. He removes himself from her and uses the slick crown of his cock to tease her tiny button. His face is a mask of concentration, and before long, she cries out in pleasure, her small hand seeking him out, finding purchase against his neck, anchoring down his mouth to kiss him.

/

A/N: 7.28.2013 - Much needed relief.

**_Kami, just give me this_**. It's in-the-moment-of-lust, but also subconsciously, he wants God to give him her. Forever.

/

malus the sayin: Gure is not afraid of dragon's fire. :) Did this chapter satisfy?

reiko . souma: Hehe, late night thoughts. :) H is not wavering. Even drunk. As for K, she isn't wavering either.

Manga999: Hehe, love your enthusiasm. Fruits Basket popped your cherry. BAHAHA (p.s. mine too)

Blood Moon Rising154: Awww, cuteness. -gives you a bear hug- Hope this chapter made up for the depressing stuff in the past few chapters?

miaboo011: Hehe H over S. You've angered S. He's sitting in the corner of the room pouting. Asking me why no one likes him. -having an identity crisis- Demands I write him in a better light in next story. :)

Phenylephrine: I believe first time you've missed a chappy! Haha, must change your perception of Yuki. Yeah, what is seriously friggin going on? He's only been creepin. He (finally) claimed her.

Winter Star Light: So far we are still at _early_ Tuesday morning (3-4). Haha. Still so much to go. I feel like a vacation planner. Ooo, baby kitty. Kyo wants a play date!

Kouga's older woman: He finally did! (well, in private)

Missybeatimus: Hey girl! Nooooo, u don't like Shuji! But glad u found reason to 'like' them. :) Thanks for answering question! Hmmm, I really like your answer. Gestures! So you are a Hatori type of girl. :)

lalamae: Hehe, I know H and K (ugh, not Hatori and Kiyomi, the other one) are so tragic. Akito is your fav character? Cool. You should check out my little one-shot featuring A and S. That was different for me to write. Your fav fic? -fans self- OMG, that's a hefty title. THANKIES!

/

543 reviews, 70 followers, 59 favs, 30654 hits! MUAW MUAW MUAW!


	67. Chapter 67: Claim

/ 3K chapter. Enjoy girls!

Chapter 67: Claim

/

Minutes after the both of them come, Hatori slips out of her regretfully. His cock is at half mast, ready for another round, but his mind stauches any reckless notion of that. They have already taken a great risk by sneaking out of the house past midnight. Their pants lingering heavily in the air is a harsh reminder of their indiscretion.

/

"We should get back now," he says softly, looking over at me from his stretched out position beside me. I prop my head on my hand and look over at him, his features much softer than a few hours ago. The tension is now gone from his face.

"I want to stay here with you forever." I say without forewarning. The words just come tumbling out of my mouth. I'm usually inarticulate - might I say - _a babbling mess_ when it comes to describing my deepest yearnings, but tonight, everything is clear.

He needed me as I much as I needed him.

"I know. Me too." He says reminiscently, squeezing my hand tightly before rising up and guiding my sore body off the hard ground. He reaches his hands out to wipe my back free of the grass and debris, and I help him do the same.

"Hey, no sneaking down there for a grab!" He says jokingly before he swats my backside.

"I did no such thing. I should be telling you that!" I call out in good-humor. I've never heard him tease like this before. _My Hatori_.

My arms cross over my chest defensively. "Fine, you can go back looking like you just tumbled in yard trimmings. See if I care."

"No, please." he says with a sly grin. "Clean me up."

Those three words sound so dirty coming from his mouth. Ah, I'm so wanton!

"You go in first. I'll come in later, just in case."

"Alright. See you tomorrow." I whisper softly, hoping that I can prolong our little tryst in my dream.

/

_Tuesday morning_.

The light streaming in through the window wakes me up seven. With sleepy eyes, a numbing headache for staying up so late, and a pleasant soreness in my body, I stretch out my body like a proud feline. I freeze when I realize that I'm kind of stuck by some heavy log that's rendered me numb. I peer down and see Shigure's right leg flung over my legs possessively. His leg is like dead weight, I can barely wiggle my legs. I gently ease him off of me before rising up. His hand mechanically reaches out to grab me, despite his face pointed in the opposite direction. It must be his doggy senses. He manages to grab onto the waistband of my boxer shorts. Making an effort, I manage to release myself from his grip with a loud smack of the elastic band. _Ouch_. As my chest heaves up and down, I stare down at the spread eagle man. He doesn't make anymore movements so I assume that he's still asleep. However, my eyes immediately narrow when I notice that he's using my penguin stuffed animal as a pillow. The nerve of him! I'll let it go this time, but you've been warned Shigure! I won't wash your underthings for the next month if I see you with Mr. Pocky again! With an agitated huff, I exit the room to wash up. The insides of my thighs feel sticky with combined fluids that I should have cleaned up last night, but didn't do because I didn't want to alert anyone (and was too exhausted from a heavy session of... you know). Just thinking about it makes my heart ache for him. As I wash my tender places with the most delicate touch, I close my eyes and imagine our coupling, so reckless and impassioned, yet tender and wonderful. Imagining him in here with me. Doing wonderful, unspeakable things to my body.

I really want forever with him.

Does he want the same?

/

Natto Day. A timely distraction from all things Hatori Sohma.

Time to perform my experiment and beat Mr. Smug Shigure! He thinks no one likes natto - _pfffffst_, we'll see about that! It's a national food, how can it not be loved?

One week's worth of dishwashing from one yukata-wearing man, please!

I scoop out some natto into the prettiest bowl I can find. It's a crystal palm-sized bowl with frosted hearts etched into it. Subliminal messaging.

Then I begin to make a nourishing okayu (rice porridge) with yams, honey, and ginger. I put all the ingredients into the rice cooker and turn on the proper setting. As it cooks, I pick out some of the little containers of preserved vegetables I brought along and unscrew them with my trusty rubber ring which hasn't failed me yet in six years. Next, I make some tamagoyaki with grated daikon and finely chopped scallions inside. I notice that we are definitely running low on ingredients. I'm using two dozen eggs for today's breakfast. Talk about a lot of food!

After everything is finished, I set up the natto into the center of the table - as the centerpiece - the pot of porridge and the little dishes all around it like satellites.

I put a spoon and bowl at each position with a little piece of paper next to my setting to keep track of all the natto-lovers.

/

"Really? No one else likes natto beside Momo?" My cheeks feeling red because I'm on the verge of losing.

"Actually, no one agrees with you. It just so happened that you managed to trick Momo into joining you in the shitty side. I don't think she's tried it before and you kind of shoved it down her throat like what they do for foie gras, by shoving steel pipes down ducks' throats." Hiro says calmly. "Natto is is second nastiest thing after shiokara (fermented squid entrails). Why do we friggin' eat this stuff?"

"I object. I keep a fresh jar of shiokara by my bedside for a midnight snack." Shigure says with his hand raised.

"Sick, man."

The plastered smile on Shigure's face is all sorts of evil.

"Mind your words at the table," Hatori says calmly, like some headmaster of some elite boys' school.

I look beseechingly at Hatori who doesn't even flinch. I'm really gonna lose the bet? If only he knew what was at stake...! He wouldn't be saying no to that then. But part of the condition of the bet was that no one could know about it. Otherwise, it could alter the game. It would have definitely benefited moi!

/

_Knock, knock_.

Everyone's head turns toward the door. Who could it be this early in the morning? The villa is pretty isolated - and no one else knows we're here except for other Sohmas...

Ayame wipes his mouth and gets up from the table. He opens the door a sliver, before sighing in relief and opening it wide. "It's Rin, everyone. Good morning, little sunshine." He says brightly.

"Ugh, please don't call me that. It ruins my whole image." Rin says, deadpan.

Haru gets up from his seat and rushes toward her. He gives her a peck on her cheek which makes her go red. "What are you doing here, Rin?"

She gives him a harmless little shove. "You smell like liquor, Haru. What did you do while I was gone?"

He gives her a cheeky grin. "Indeed. Maybe a kiss will make it go away?"

He's putting her under the spotlight, but she doesn't budge. She kisses her index finger before pressing it against his lips. Haru shrugs satisfactorily as if to say, 'It was worth a try.'

Once Rin steps into the house and takes off her heavy looking Doc Martens, she pads across the floor to the dining table. I'm looking at her flabbergasted. She's dressed effortlessly in all black. But unlike Akito, she looks polished and chic. Her long "cascading like a waterfall" hair reaches her lower back. She's wearing skinny black jeans and a cropped top. Her attire makes her skin look paler than it already is. But she's not sallow pale. She's luminescent pale.

"Are there anymore seats?" Shigure asks wearily. We all look around. We're all sitting on mismatched chairs and stools including those from the bedrooms and outside. And there aren't anymore. I've checked.

I'm quick to react and step out of my chair. "Rin, you can sit here." I offer.

Rin gives me a grateful nod before coming toward me. But then I hear the screech of Kiyomi's chair. "No, please sit here. Tohru's exhausted from preparing us this delicious breakfast. She deserves a break."

Rin shrugs and sits down in Kiyomi's seat. Kiyomi finds a place on the sofa and perches her head in her palm as she watches us. The way she is holding her head tells me she is still combatting her hangover. Does she remember her kiss with Hatori? Did she really mean it? Does she really love him the way I do?

"I'm here on business. On our shoot early this morning, the girl wasn't the right fit so the perfectionist photographer postponed it to Thursday. He sent me out to find a new model. Since I don't really want to deal with any of the catty girls at the agency, I came to find Kiyomi."

All eyes shift now to Kiyomi who is pressing her hands against her chest in surprise. "Uh, me?"

"Yeah, it'd only be for half a day at most, and you'd get paid in addition to being on a big-time magazine. Win-win situation. And it just so happens, you're the type that he wants."

"Bu-but I don't have any experience."

"Don't worry you don't need it. Pretend the camera isn't there. The rest will come naturally. And we'll have tons of shots to pick from, so no need to worry."

"Are you sure? I don't want to disappoint anyone."

"Don't worry about it. So will you do it?"

After Kiyomi gives a shaky nod, Rin turns to the rest of the table and says, "Good. We'll leave in the morning, day after tomorrow."

"So what's the itinerary for today?" Momiji asks.

Akito is mute but Yuki speaks up. "We have two choices - go-karting or cherry picking. Both are not too far from here."

Everyone starts to talk at the same time until Yuki climbs on top of his chair and says, "Quiet down everyone. We can divide ourselves up. We don't all have to do the same thing. Those who want to go cherry picking, please go over to the living room where Kiyomi is sitting. The rest can stay here."

It's pretty unevenly divided after a five minute scramble.

Momiji, Kagura, Hiro, Kisa (with persuasion), Hatsuharu, Rin, Akito, Kureno, Kyo, Yuki, Ayame and Mine. (I'm surprised Akito is going to do physical activity instead of being with Shigure. If I hadn't see _that_ for myself, I would have never known about her secret crush on Shigure.)

Hatori, Kiyomi, Momo, Shigure and me.

/

Hatori drops the go-karters off at Dragon's Lair Racing.

"You're missing out, Hatori." Ayame called out in a sing-songy voice. "Imagine dragons!"

As the unload their backpacks from the back of the bus, I wave good-bye to them. "Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" Yuki asks me last minute, touching my elbow and not knowing that's my ticklish spot.

"It's alright. You know how much I like nature and fruits. I should be asking you that question, partner-in-gardening. Are you sure you don't want to go cherry-picking?"

"Nah. I'll see you later then, okay? Be careful." He gives me a peck on the cheek, leaving me stunned.

Luckily Hatori didn't notice.

I'm not sure I want to see his reaction.

/

Following the GPS on his dashboard, Hatori drives off the paved road into a dusty dirt trail. It's extremely bumpy. Luckily for the girls, we can just barely strap the seatbelts over out lower halves. Shigure on the other hand has his legs in the aisle, holding onto the edge of the seat for support. The top of his skull is almost touching the roof of the bus so he has to be careful not to bounce too much. He's clenching his teeth like he's about to get his first shot at a doctor's office.

"How much longer, driver?" He calls out through gritted teeth.

"Twenty minutes."

"Fuck! Who the fuck decided this? My head is gonna hurt like a bitch when we get there."

"Language on the bus, young man." Hatori calls out sternly. But I can hear the amusement in his voice.

"I'm not apologizing. You're torturing me!" Shigure whines petulantly. "There's probably a better road, but you purposely choose this one!" Hatori shrugs from the ergonomic driver-seat which is outfitted with a comfortable cushion and a whole self-adjustment thingy. Lucky him.

We finally pull up to a flat dirt road lined with neat cherry trees. I can see the big juicy looking fruits dangling from the branches, dancing in the gentle breeze. Yummy. The road is barely wide enough for a regular size car, let alone a bus. I guess for traffic that is coming and going, one car has to drive a little into the orchard. Bus. Ditch. Not a good idea. Luckily no cars are coming from the opposite direction. If I squint my eyes, I can see distant people with straw baskets walking along the cherry grove. We finally arrive at a small parking lot beside a large brown farmhouse and a cherry stand. There are two tour buses in the parking lot.

The four of us get out of the bus and proceed toward the cherry stand. There's an older woman wearing a wide-brim straw hat who looks up at us beamingly. "Hello, welcome to Kaito Orchards. Are you here to pick cherries?"

"Yes we are," Hatori replies. The woman examines Momo with great attention. "Who is this precious girl's parents? She's beautiful."

Momo runs behind me and tucks her face into my back. I'm not sure she's familiar with compliments. She peeks out at the older woman with a bashful look on her face. I'm assuming the woman thinks we are two couples out on a daytrip. Haha, how far from true that is.

I twist my body so that I can hold Momo close to me, to ensure her that the woman means no harm. "Don't be shy, Momo." Momo looks up to me with her big doe eyes for assurance.

I can see Hatori opening his mouth to speak before being interrupted by Shigure. "She's ours." He responds, snaking his arm around my shoulder and pulling me close against his chest, dragging Momo along with him. Oh gods. Why did he just say that? He knows about how Hatori feels about me (still now sure how, must get to the bottom of it) because at the beach, he asked me about it. And that isn't exactly a friendly move.

"She's lovely."

"Thank you," Shigure replies with the ease of a psuedo-father. Momo kind of looks up to him curiously as he pats her head gently.

I see Hatori stiffly pull out his wallet and pay the entrance fee. The woman gives us 4 baskets and a pretty cherry-print canvas apron with a large pocket in the front to collect cherries. She whispers to Momo, "A present for you little one." Momo finally comes out of her shell and gives the older woman her biggest gap-toothed smile. "Tank you. miss."

"Oh, I'm no longer a Miss, darling." She says with a wink. "But you're very welcome."

I crouch down to help Momo tie the apron around her small waist.

The woman points us in the direction of the best trees and Hatori immediately starts his long strides away from us.

We run up to catch up with him so we don't get lost (I know from experience that neither Shigure nor I have a good sense of direction). Shigure falls in line with Momo and I. I ask quietly, "Why did you feed her that lie?"

I can sense Hatori slow down his pace to within earshot. From the dramatic slope of his shoulders, he isn't happy about Shigure's flippant comment.

"An old woman like her is probably jaded over such high divorce rates and out of wedlock children and such of modern day society. I was just giving her a little dose of cheer. Proving to her that there are still wonderful little family units."

"I guess," Kiyomi pitches in.

I give Momo's hand a quick squeeze. I think the cheeky little girl enjoyed that flamboyant display of a family. We come to a fork with a post that has two arrows pointing in different directions. Hatori leads us to the left and we eventually reach a lovely grove with the mountainside behind it.

"Rainer or bing?" Hatori asks, looking down at the map that the woman gave him.

"What's Rainbow?" Momo asks.

i chuckle before replying, "Not Rainbow, Rainer. There are a type of cherry that is like a red and yellow tie-dye rainbow. It's really yummy with a white, creamy color flesh."

"Those sounds yummy!" It's typical for children at young ages to equate pretty stuff with yummy stuff. But Momo isn't far off in her assessment. Rainer cherries have a subtle sweetness. They are twice as big as the ones I see in the supermarket and easy to spot against the backdrop of green.

Momo is jumping up and down after spotting the lowest branch, but it's still out of reach. Yet she doesn't ask for help. Her face turns red with exertion until Hatori picks her up easily from behind and settles her over his shoulder in one swift motion. "Hold onto me tightly, okay?

"But daddy was supposed to help you with that."

Hatori rolls his eyes at Shigure's third-person speech and asks Momo politely, "Where to, Momo?" He starts to jog a little, bouncing a laughing Momo on his shoulders. While he is being playful with her, he is also cautious to not bang her head against a branch or worse, drop her, or send her catapulting backward.

"That way!" she shouts.

"Which way?" He repeats, twisting his head back to look at Momo. She quickly switches up her direction as children always do, "That way." She says.

"How about this. You saw the movie Ratatouille, right?"

"Of course. Remy's my favorite wittle mouse, after Yuki of course!"

"He tugs on his boy's hair. If you want to go left, tug a little left, right, tug a little right. But not too hard, okay?" His voice is as gentle as a sea breeze. I capture this tender "awwww" moment in with my mental camera. And my poor heart is shattering all over again, but this time due to an explosion of happiness. When did he see that movie? Why is this the first time I've seen him like this? He's completely at ease. Like Momo is really his daughter on a day out. He's not standoffish or silent. He's fully immersed.

Is he trying to tell me something through this gesture?

I see Shigure slumped against a nearby tree watching this family affair, his empty basket lying at his feet. Meanwhile, I'm watching the Hatori and Momo scene in complete awe. Finally, Momo asks sweetly to come down, relaying that all her cherries are falling out of her apron.

After helping her down, she digs in her apron. I'm not sure why she's taking such a long time, but finally she procures a large cherry and offers it to Hatori. "Thank you." She's holding it by the stem, dangling it a little. It's so irresistibly cute seeing them interact. Hatori accepts it and pops it into his mouth without any reservations. He lets out a low grumble of approval from deep within his belly.

/

A/N: 8.6.13 - Oh my. What is happening to our stoic Mr. Hatori? Is he stepping up his game enough? It's only Tuesday in the weeklong trip. Wow, I am so slow.

I've also started a tumblr account featuring a wittle riceball stick-figure-y (ahem, circles I mean) manga (warning: weak drawings hehe)! Not sure how frequent updates will be - but I've kinda got an (angsty) storyline figured out. I promise you'll like it once it progresses! I'd love it if you guys checked it out and let me know what you think! It's loveonigiri . tumblr . com (without the spaces).

Shigure won the Natto battle. When is he gonna claim his prize? Ooooo.

.

letus the saiyan: hey newbie (are you friend of malus the saying... ur username reminds me of hers)! Thank you for stoppin by! They are becoming reckless...

Blood Moon Rising154: Will their be more 'reunion' between H and T? Hmmm... at least Kiyomi will be out of the pictures for at least 1 day... haha.

reiko . souma: hehe, if only Kiyomi knew... her little heart would be shattered... and I wonder if she's the vengeful type? babies... you heard right. Our Mr I-could-never-be-a-good-father is having an identity crisis... milk and honey...

Missybeautimus: Hehe u no likey bad boy Shuji? -he's pouting beside me, drowning his sorrows in a pint of ice cream- Glad u caught the 'green-eyed'. Teehee makes me all happy inside. Love that he turned down his dominant side for T by kneeling. -melts-:)

kouga's older woman: THANKS!

Miaboo011: Hehe Hatori's turn for love! YAY! -move aside, Gure-

Manga999: THANKS SO MUCH. And also for checking out Hatori's Remedy! MUAW. Love you!

lalamae: Hehe your "neighbors" know what you are up to. Shigure gives you a pair of his stealth glasses to make you invisible. Hehe. HP. That is my fav. There are so awesome stories in that fandom. WAY better than me. What is your favorite ship? Mine is DracoxHermione. As for Stephanie Plum - haven't read it in ages. I heard the latest ones were kind of wacky. I'll have to read to find out!

meghan166: Alpha Hatori. Yum. And he really took control this chapter. Beat S to play "daddy."

Phenylephrine: Don't worry... more smut soon! H is initiating now. WOOT. Dam just broke.

saida: So glad readers like Shuji! Don't worry, once they back to civilization (haha), he'll be back. He needs T's help with something. :)

Winter Star Light: K's gonna be gone for a day! WOOT. Now, if only Akito could disappear too...

kris11993: Vengeful H came back in this chappy. Not letting S have all the fun. H playing father...hmmmm... Good 4 you for see K's side. Wonder if they could have worked if she'd only come earlier... -sends u mental camera of HOTNESS and a packet of tissues for nosebleeds- Hehe, Hatori being all submissive in the forest... HOT.

Joscollia: H definitely manhandled K. He seriously wants her off his back without actually saying those words (cuz he's nonconfrontational). Thanks for your support!

may96: Mos definitely! Dragon's Lair Racing... let's just say H would have done to some damage to Gure on the tracks. :) Instead he took the bumpy roads to torture Gure (or so Gure believes)

AshAnime: Thanks for reviewing multiple chapters. :) Shuji will be back. Fun stuff involving Seven Sins. Definitely agree... it definitely seems like T is way too forgiving to H. H is playing a "role" but he also doesn't do much to ensure that his young lady is alright. He's more about action. Taking care of Momo... hmmm... I agree with you... quiet guys who open up!

/

567 review, 74 followers, 61 favs, 32057 hits.


End file.
